Hija77 Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 My ex left me 2 months ago in a text message. At the time, he asked for time and space. Stupidly, I didn't know that meant it was over, and that we wouldn't be speaking again. I guess closure is a stupid idea now. He's a drunk, so whatever he said would've been selfish and nonsensical anyway. BUT, I'm such a nice person. I did everything I could to take care of him. Maybe that was my downfall...but after 7 years, he leaves me in a TEXT MESSAGE? Are you kidding me? In my wildest dreams, I never could've seen things go down this way. I'm not some skanky girl who did him wrong! I don't get it. He cut me off like I was some terrible person who was wrecking his life! If he didn't want to be with me, that's his choice. I can deal with that...but to leave me high and dry like this? I'll never understand it. My best friend's dad, who was basically a second father to me, died...no phone call. Christmas and New Year's came and went. It's like I was out of sight, out of mind. Like I said, if he didn't want to be with me, that's fine. It's his choice. BUT, where's the respect? I'm not some piece of garbage. I guess he's not who I thought he was. I shouldn't forget to mention that we were together for 5 years, broke up, and then 5 years later he came back full of bs and apologies about how he'd messed everything up. Why come back? I was over it!! I think that's part of why this is so hard to accept. He came back for me. So why the hell am I in this position now? Maybe this is the worst choice I've ever made. I don't know. Guess I'm just venting. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Being dumped out of the blue is kind of hard and devastating, they don't even bother to talk to you face to face, just a simple text to end it all. Its been two months, you should start healing now and don't think so much of it, its not your fault, move on. The more you think what could have gone wrong the longer it lingers, acceptance come in time but we have to work on it. Just live and forget. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Reading your post, you understand everything---it's just sorting through the mess. That's going to take time and distance. With true NC and time you'll be able to put this inconsistency with that discrepancy, that disrespect with this abuse. You're going to come to greater realizations about yourself, your boundaries and your needs. Where you're at is fine now. Trust it. Keep posting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Continue going forward, don't look back, he's not worth your love. You should wait for someone else who appreciates your love and kindness. Best regards friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
batt Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Same thing happened to me. Its been a month people on here tell me I did nothing wrong. I see that now. Its the blindside and silent treatment that's so damn hard. I'm on antidepressants and was referred to a psychiatrist because of how much its messed with my head 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hija77 Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 Sorry you're going through this crap too, batt. I'm just glad I never broke NC. I guess everything happens for a reason? I hate that saying...but maybe in a few months I'll look back and see there's some truth to it. Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
batt Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Yea, I've said the same thing. I almost broke NCbut people here talked me out of it. We'll get through it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Yes you will. I'm over a year on therapy now. I was a train wreck back then. For eleven months I was falling apart from panic attacks. My life was a mess. If I who was worst there is healed, you will too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 2 months is nothing my friend It took me almost a year, but when i done, its DONE DONE DONE DONE. You wouldnt want to move on fast like a wind but when you see them again, you back to square one. So better late but done than quick but not done. Give yourself time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gnick Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I'm right at 3 months and last week was the worst for me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hija77 Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 Right now I'm focusing on not beating myself up for feeling sad about things. Ha! It's less than helpful behavior, for sure. I think acceptance is the final piece of the puzzle. I'm tired of this garbage messing with my head and draining all of my energy. I either accept this fully, or my brain remains total mush. Sorry last week was so bad, gnick. Did something happen? Link to post Share on other sites
gnick Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I don't know. I think it's the realization I'm not getting my gf back. Im just sitting here like an addict physically hurting. All I want to do is call her Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hija77 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 I totally get it. It's a bad idea though, and you know that or you wouldn't have posted about it. I don't know your story, but sharing might help you put off that phone call... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hija77 Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 To update, I'll just say we still haven't spoken. I've been able to keep NC going, so that's positive. That's a lot for me. I have bipolar 2 d/o, so I tend to get super depressed and then manic angry afterwards. The manic part hasn't happened, and that's beyond wonderful. God only knows what I would've done if it had taken hold. Nothing dangerous!!! It's not like that. I could've called or texted, though. Not worth it. I think at this point I really just want to let it go. It's still sad, but I've had time to see that the relationship wasn't worth saving. I feel badly for him, though. I'll end up happy again at some point, but I don't think he will. Not if he doesn't stop drinking. So there you have it! I'm one of a million people dealing with the same issue, and I'm coping. Have faith, everyone! If I can do it, trust that you can, too. I still have the impulse to send him a scathing text about what a horrible person he is, but what for? He hurt me, but I don't need to hurt him back in return. He may be a lousy human being, but I'M not!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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