futuregopher Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I don't know what happened but I am just so scared of talking to girls now. It never used to be like this but I haven't talked to a girl in literally MONTHS. Yeah I spoke to cashiers that were female but that really doesn't count. At work, I got along with women just find but it was because it was 1) work and 2) they were my boss. What do you even say to them? Will they talk back to me if I say "hi"? Some have smiled at me but I just pretend not to notice in case it gets awkward and I just walk away. They're probably just nice and smile at everyone. I'm too scared to ask for numbers because I don't want to seem creepy. Even if they say hi back, what do I say after? What should I talk about? I don't watch desperate housewives and american idol. I have ZERO shoe knowledge. I don't follow MTV or E entertainment. I know kim kardashian but that's about it. I don't want to be a foreveraloner and would like to have a family one day. And I'm definitely gay/turning gay so that is out of the picture. What should I do? Any help would be greatly appreciated!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pasttense Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Join some organizations, take some adult education courses, join church groups, talk to your neighbors. You will meet girls as you participate in these activities as well as meet people who will introduce you to girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Solo34 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 And I'm definitely gay/turning gay so that is out of the picture. What should I do? Any help would be greatly appreciated!! Bro, if you're definitely gay/turning gay, why do you want to talk with females?? Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Begin by including all the words in your sentences. Link to post Share on other sites
Author futuregopher Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Bro, if you're definitely gay/turning gay, why do you want to talk with females?? OOOPS!!! I will need to edit that... I am NOT gay and NOT turning gay lol I don't really have time to do any of that right now. I am currently studying for my CPA exam so basically all my time goes to that. I'm hesitant in joining groups like that. I wouldn't want to be a creepy guy that shows up just to meet girls. That is kind of weird in my opinion Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 You're being way too paranoid and getting into your own head far too much, you've built this to be something to be so hard and challenging when the reality is you talk to women just like you would almost anyone else. The only difference is you're looking for a sign of interest like a nice big smile, nervousness, or just general interest in talking to you. However sometimes when a woman likes you it's subtle and she doesn't change much in demeanor or she may even act standoffish is shes shy or embarrassed...it really all depends but you'll never know If don't talk to them, approach them without any confidence or act like they're the most challenging beings on the planet and place them on a pedestal. What are you thinking about needing to know about shoes, kardashians, mtv and whatever else? you think women want to date women or men?. They are attracted and interested in men because they are different and they like it! You don't need to know any of that crap. And you're not going to be forever alone, stop being so dramatic, control yourself when it comes to thinking of women. You've got to calm your nerves, relax and be yourself, that is when you will be at your best. No special treatment, no PUA gimmicks, just confidence in yourself, being a respectable guy who's not over zealous, excited and looking and acting like a goofy fool (although some humbleness is desired, don't be a douche and walk around like you're the **** unless you're THAT good looking and can get away with murder practically). Don't make a big deal out of it, you're just talking...get that hitting on, pick up lines mentality out of your head, this isn't the movies and they aren't actors pretending to be impressed and swooned. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author futuregopher Posted June 13, 2012 Author Share Posted June 13, 2012 I smiled at this girl as I was leaving the gym to b/c I had something in my car that I needed to give my friend and literally 2 minutes later, she left the gym too. Is this a sign of interest or am I stupid? I am so clueless with this stuff. Guys and girls opinions would be helpful thank you!! Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Larry King wrote an excellent book on how to talk to anyone at any time. Despite how cheesy that may sound, he does give some good tips on just such things. And, it's not cheesy at all. I have used some of his tactics over the years, and they have had positive results. He has a section on if you are a man trying to talk to women. He said it's not hard. All you have to do is do a little ice breaker (ex. Say hello), and then say "I'm really not all that confident talking to attractive women, but I thought I would come over and say hello in the hopes that maybe you would like to have a chat." It works. I've had many a chat with people over this. And Larry's been married 8 times, so ... it worked for him! Link to post Share on other sites
amantis Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 hey - if you start by saying hi to a girl you must know what you are going to say next , be prepared to tell her how she looks and flirt a bit . -think about this , if you want to talk with them , is because you want to know more about them , dont ask question after question , thats weird . If you ask her whats her job and she answers "cleaner" dont change the question , ask her if she likes , ask her how long is she working as a cleaner , does she like that people she works with . ( this is just a example ) They like when we show interest -you say that you are afraid to go talk with them ? why is that ? are they better than you ? The thing is , guys like you say that they are afraid to go talk with them , but think about the reasons . Are you afraid that they are going to tell you off ? not answer ? You need to think that you are starting the conversation because you are interested in them , but if they dont give a fk about you , they are the ones losing , you never lose mate , never . You never know whats going to happen , maybe 2 in 10will give you their number and after that everything can happen . Every time you see a a girl that you like remember that sometimes you only have one chance with them , dont be a pussy and go for it . Good luck ( sorry , my english sucks but i see too many guys afraid of talking with girls ) Link to post Share on other sites
secondmulligan Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 sounds like you get too nervous over it being a "girl" remember you're just talking to another person. don't charge up to them with the mentality of "i must date this girl or im ****ed." you're simply talking to another person who you may or may not want to date at some point it shouldnt be anymore difficult than talking to those cashiers Link to post Share on other sites
Christine52 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 OOOPS!!! I will need to edit that... I am NOT gay and NOT turning gay lol I don't really have time to do any of that right now. I am currently studying for my CPA exam so basically all my time goes to that. I'm hesitant in joining groups like that. I wouldn't want to be a creepy guy that shows up just to meet girls. That is kind of weird in my opinion Hahha you look and sound very cute All I can say, is stop putting women on a pedastle. They're not going to bite you. Plus, you're putting too much pressure on yourself and the interaction. Smoke some weed or have a beer if need be, but you need to understand that there should be no weight bearing on these interactions. It's just for fun, and enjoyment, and if more follows after, then hey! win win Once you see us as harmless, it should be easier for you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author futuregopher Posted June 14, 2012 Author Share Posted June 14, 2012 Hmm all very interesting points.. thanks!! I think the biggest thing for me right now is I have no idea what to say after hi, how are you, etc. I'm scared the conversation will go like this- me: hi how's it going girl: good, yourself me: oh not bad crickets sounds....silence me: oh well cool talking to you gotta go cya Yes pathetic I know... Some girls I work with talk about bags and shoes and I'm just like wtf... I have no idea what is going on lol Not sure about the smoking weed/alcohol thing. Never tried/ don't plan to try marijuana and I stopped drinking. I can't handle alcohol and it just destroys my muscle mass lol. weak...i know :/ Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Walk around without a shirt. You won't ever have to speak again. Link to post Share on other sites
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