sazz8888 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. The other day I looked at his head closely and saw what looked like the corner of a hairpiece? Right at the crown of his head where men usually start to bald. I know he has his own hair at the front but im almost certain he has a glue-on hairpiece at the crown of his head. Hes only 31. I wasnt sure how to bring this awkward and potentially sensitive topic up so I just left it. Since then I was pretending to mess his hair up and touch his head but he NEVER lets me touch his hair..im guessing he's afraid I will find out. What do I do?! Is he planning on keeping this a secret forever?? 1
jen1447 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Ask him "what's up with that thing on your head?" and then get him to become a close-cut or bald guy. Srsly that's an elephant in the room you just can't ignore. 8
ALL OR NOTHING Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. The other day I looked at his head closely and saw what looked like the corner of a hairpiece? Right at the crown of his head where men usually start to bald. I know he has his own hair at the front but im almost certain he has a glue-on hairpiece at the crown of his head. Hes only 31. I wasnt sure how to bring this awkward and potentially sensitive topic up so I just left it. Since then I was pretending to mess his hair up and touch his head but he NEVER lets me touch his hair..im guessing he's afraid I will find out. What do I do?! Is he planning on keeping this a secret forever?? Tell him you wear one but you've been worried about telling him then hel confess to you and then you say I was only joking. Job done! 3
Author sazz8888 Posted May 10, 2016 Author Posted May 10, 2016 LOL this made me laugh...i dont know if thats a good idea 2
WhirlwindGuy Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Tell him you really dig bald guys and ask if he would consider shaving his head someday. Or just tell him, "WTF...a hair peace???" "This isn't 1940 anymore, embrace the skin!" Im a bald guy btw...ive been shaving my head for around 13 years now. 3
preraph Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Well, first of all, no, you MAY NOT play with his hair or toupe. So keep your sticky fingers to yourself, girlie. I think you should just tell him sometime that you just now noticed he is wearing a toupe and that it must be a good one for it to have taken you so long to detect it. First I would just check his driver's license and find out if he's telling you his real age or not just in case what we have here is a big liar and not just a guy with a bald spot. 3
Author sazz8888 Posted May 10, 2016 Author Posted May 10, 2016 Haha yes ive definitely checked his age! Id rather he just be honest about it..theres no shame in losing hair. I guess I just dot know how to approach it and I feel a bit creeped out that he would try and keep it a secret forever! Does he think im stupid 3
Versacehottie Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Definitely the best thread of the week!!! Not to make light of your dilemma!!! I wonder if we will hear the standard responses: *He's not into you obviously *He must be seeing someone else *Could he have aspbergers? *Dump him Ahh, loveshack Honestly, I don't know what to advise, OP. This is a toughie!!!! I guess in a way it makes sense to assume he is follicularly-challenged and assuming that is the case, would you still be into him? Also does it bother you that he would be hiding something like this (ie how long does he think he would get away with it?) or is vain or insecure enough to wear a wig? If basically these things do not bother you or change your opinion of him, you just need to make it a safe environment where the subject can be broached. I would think he would feel a lot better if you "knew" the truth even if he still kept wearing the wig. Also since you guys are at the 6 month mark maybe he would be considering a transplant in the future and if you are his serious gf, that needs to be out of the bag. I feel for you, OP, Good luck! 6
alphamale Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 What do I do?! prepare yourself to date a bald man 4
Gaeta Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 If you, his girlfriend, the one person that sees him up close almost every day, have not noticed in 6 MONTHS then it must be one great hair piece!! Why do you need to say anything at all? Let it be. 10
Author sazz8888 Posted May 10, 2016 Author Posted May 10, 2016 Versacehottie, Thats true! Honestly I think it bothers me more that he thinks he can get away with it!! I'm a pretty accepting person and Im with him because of his personality. But Im also attracted to him. Im afraid if i see him without it il feel like i dont know who he is anymore. Because he will look like a completely different person:eek: 1
Cinnamonstix Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 (edited) Try to approach it the same way you would hope someone would approach you about wearing hair extensions: up front and with tact/sensitivity and an honest compliment ("I think you'd look hot with your head shaved".) Although it's more socially acceptable for women to wear fake hair, imagine that you're pretty sensitive about it, otherwise you would have let your bf know in 6 months. Let him know the only thing that bothers you is that he kept it a secret. Then listen to his response. In the meantime, refrain from messing up his hair again. He is obviously self conscious of and scared you will discover his toupee, so tousling his head would be distressing and embarrassing. I'm sure he'd rather you were up front about it. It builds trust. Or do as all or nothing suggested and pretend you have one too. LOL. Edited May 10, 2016 by Cinnamonstix 2
Versacehottie Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Versacehottie, Thats true! Honestly I think it bothers me more that he thinks he can get away with it!! I'm a pretty accepting person and Im with him because of his personality. But Im also attracted to him. Im afraid if i see him without it il feel like i dont know who he is anymore. Because he will look like a completely different person:eek: Yeah I totally hear you. I think you need to consider your own feelings first, get straight on how it makes you feel. Somehow I think you will get to a place where it would be something you were fine with it indeed it is the case (it probably is, let's face it!). Then worry about how you will have the discussion with him. I feel for guys that go to such lengths to hide things like this but then they really set themselves up for some awkwardness or potentially to lose someone they really care about. I agree that the hardest part to accept is how did he really think he was going to get away with this!!! That's what puts the whole thing into an icky category where you'd be kinda torn. I guess you will just have to see if your sympathy instincts can kick in where you "could" step into his shoes and imagine why &how this must be for him. It sounds like it's almost bigger than himself if he was willing to go to these lengths (and imagine he'd get away with it indefinitely!!). Good luck 1
ALL OR NOTHING Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 LOL this made me laugh...i dont know if thats a good idea Well I don't wear a wig and I can make you laugh , I no it's bold move but you could leave him for me? I just broke up with my squirrel because she was nuts. 1
Ami1uwant Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 If he is bald at 31. Do You Break Up With HiM ? A friend of a friend in college had premature grey hair. He was around 26 with a full head of grey hair. 1
Emilia Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Versacehottie, Thats true! Honestly I think it bothers me more that he thinks he can get away with it!! I'm a pretty accepting person and Im with him because of his personality. But Im also attracted to him. Im afraid if i see him without it il feel like i dont know who he is anymore. Because he will look like a completely different person:eek: Bwahahaha I'm calling BS. 'He thinks he can get away with it' Get away with what? Having a completely natural insecurity problem? You don't know who he is anymore because he has a bald patch? What happens when you get married and your husband goes bald? Divorce him? Just leave it be, clearly it's a big deal for him. You don't have to analyse everything to death. 8
introverted1 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 How is this different than, say a push-up bramake-uphair colorhair straightening/keratinbody shapersretainer ? 11
sunking101 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 It's better than a combover... Just bring into the conversation how much better John Travolta looked in From Paris With Love because he had a shaved head "instead of those ridiculous hair pieces he normally wears"... 2
Standard-Fare Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 It's definitely a tough subject to approach. If I were you, I'd bring it up at a time when he feels safe with you, i.e. in bed one morning. Maybe try to ruffle his hair, then when he inevitably pulls away, be like, "Hey, you realize I know you've got a hairpiece there, right? I don't care, I don't judge you, but I don't want you to feel like you've gotta keep it a secret." He might get embarrassed and defensive and shut down the convo right then and there. But if he's willing to talk about it honestly, maybe you can see if he's planning to rely on that as a long-term solution, and encourage him to explore other options. My guess is it will be a conversation that happens in several disjointed segments over time, as he works his way to getting more comfortable talking about it. 1
Versacehottie Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 (edited) Bwahahaha I'm calling BS. 'He thinks he can get away with it' Get away with what? Having a completely natural insecurity problem? You don't know who he is anymore because he has a bald patch? What happens when you get married and your husband goes bald? Divorce him? Just leave it be, clearly it's a big deal for him. You don't have to analyse everything to death. Yep, guess that's it, if I were in OP's shoes. I would wonder how long he thought he was going to be this "person with huge secret" that I would never figure out. That would bother me. Both in the fact that he thought I was naive enough, wasn't gonna be around long enough or that his issues about his follicles were such a big deal. I mean how are they supposed to honeymoon in the caribbean frolicking in the surf. I actually do think it's different if you are married to someone or together with someone and THEN they lose their hair. They have never presented themselves as anything different than they are. To me a "wig" or hairpiece is significant. To be fair, I do think it's similar to when a girl puts silicon boob inserts in (and some of the other things introverted listed). As in on date 2-3, when things get more physical what then? I also feel somewhat similarly about plastic surgery, such as nose jobs--like your kids aren't going to look like that--they are going to have the nose determined by the genes you have. But I get that it's more acceptable. I also get that pretty much anything women to do enhance their looks is more acceptable than something a guy might do, like wear a hairpiece. Edited to add: it's also basically the same as lying about your age IMO Edited May 10, 2016 by Versacehottie 1
lana-banana Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Break up with him now before he asks you to bug your boss's office! Seriously, though, once you're past the initial shock, ask yourself what's wrong with a wig. Do you like him for who he is? Can you see a future with him? Does he make you happy? These are the really important questions. You may be able to have a good conversation with him about insecurity and self-consciousness, too. 4
Lois_Griffin Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Ask him "what's up with that thing on your head?" and then get him to become a close-cut or bald guy. Srsly that's an elephant in the room you just can't ignore. Ugh. Then he can join the rest of the 90% of men who all look like cue balls. Don't know what's happened in the last 30 years, but just about everyone is bald now. Let him be one of the very few left that still have hair - whether it's his or not. 2
S_A Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 (edited) If he is bald at 31. Do You Break Up With HiM ? A friend of a friend in college had premature grey hair. He was around 26 with a full head of grey hair. Wow at 26? How grey we talking? Like salt-and-pepper hair with a lot more salt than pepper? Or was it all grey like Anderson Cooper? I would say if it was all grey that it'd actually be pretty awesome. I'm curious to see how I'll look all grey. Well, more silver-like than grey. Ugh. Then he can join the rest of the 90% of men who all look like cue balls. Don't know what's happened in the last 30 years, but just about everyone is bald now. Let him be one of the very few left that still have hair - whether it's his or not. I agree that guys shaving off their hair is super common, but the guy does not have a lot of options. He is going bald and is very insecure about it. Given that, shaving off all his hair is probably the way he should go IMO. Edited May 10, 2016 by S_A 1
Satu Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 It could be a small furry animal like a chinchilla thats living on his head without him noticing. That happens a lot. 7
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