What are some signs of a gold digger?

Im not rich (im actually a broke college student LOL) and this question is mainly cause Im bored...but here it goes. Anyways, I was talking with a female friend and was mentioning how nowadays so many women simply use marriage as a free pass to marry a rich guy and be lazy throughout life. However, she was saying that while many do only care about $$$, some actually like the security factor of dating a wealthy man and the stability it provides. She also said that the reason many young and pretty women date older/wealthier men is because younger guys are too focused on getting L--d and aren't emotionally/financially stable.

So anyways, if your rich, how do you seperate gold diggers from non-gold diggers?

P.S. Don't say "prenup." They only help but lawyers find ways around them

Gold diggers are lazy creatures.

I understand women who marry into money if they lived in Afghanistan or something because they wouldnt be able to survive without a man.

But in a country of unlimited equal opportunity like the US, it baffles me that some people hide behind 'financial security' bullcrap for being lazy gold diggers.

If you want to be financially secure, then stay in school, go to college, have a career and make your own money instead of being a dependent parasite.

Besides, rich men know when women are after their money and they usually make them earn every penny they get from them.

they tell you they wouldn't date a guy who paid with a credit card on every date.

they tell you they wouldn't date a guy who paid with a credit card on every date.

I thought this exact thing when I read the thread title.

ALL women would love a guy who can afford to wine & dine them. Only gold diggers would reject a man that couldn't do that.

Gold diggers also expect expensive gifts. Non-gold diggers don't but really appreciate even a little gift from their man.

Also, I know wealthy guys in their 40's & 50's dateing women in their 20's. (make over 200k a yr which is big in my area) They bang those women like screen doors in a hurricane daily. If those girls started acting like their gold digging ways somehow earned them true relationship status & started talking about marriage ect., they would be replaced.

Almost all of those men eventually settled down with a woman their own age that had a good job.

They:

Have lots of expensive things with a modest paying job.

Lack empathy for others

Envious of others or thinks they are of them

Drop hints they need a loan or wish they could have those shoes

Don't suggest restaurants, hotels or plane tickets that aren't all first class

Have an inflated view of their importance to the world

Believes they are special and should only be associating with the high powered rich folks

Ask you what you do for a living, what kind of car you drive instead of your hobbies right away

Will not try to reciprocate doing something nice for you

Don't make it a habit to say please and thank you

Will share expensive gifts they have gotten for the top things the have ever received, not a meaningful gift that doesn't cost much

Asks how much you make a year

How to get rid of a gold digger:

Tell them you just lost all your money

Go dutch on dinner dates

Tell them to sell something they own to avoid borrowing from you

Go to some very important places without them, and take them to the park for a picnic instead

Shower them with gifts of special importance that are easy on the pocketbook

Tell them you want to go on a vacation with them, and let them know what their share of the trip will be

Tell them you want to go live the simple life and become a farmer or live in a cabin on the side of a lake somewhere with no electricity, has no heat or god forbid....mirrors

They don't offer to pay for something on the first few dates...

Men can be gold diggers too. I married a guy like that & I was the primary breadwinner, but he did have a job (for awhile). He kept ordering credit cards for us. I forgot about them and kept them in a drawer. In fact, before I met him I had one credit card with a $1,000 limit.

He had an affair with a wealthy woman & to woo her, he used our credit cards. She didn't pay for anything because her millionaire husband would discover the affair. He took care of the finances (stupid, immature mistake on my part). I didn't notice anything because he was paying the minimum. (And I was completely stupid). He and I took a couple trips, but we shopped at Old Navy, didn't own a car and lived modestly. He lost his job (company folded), but was collecting unemployment so I didn't think of him as a loafer. Gold digging can be subtle and not flashy.

I left him because he basically ignored me & never listened to me. I am the type of person who is able to leave relationships when they aren't working, so that is one of my strengths. If I clung onto him, I would have been completely ruined. I didn't know about the affair until the divorce when I saw the $20,000 in credit card bills. He financed expensive gifts and trips (I thought he was visiting his brother) with the cards. I was the primary card holder so there was not much I could do. Sure, I could sue him, but he was working retail in a department store for $8 an hour.

In retrospect, I realized he was a needy, dependent guy who used women who could financially support him. He was a con artist- gentle, charming, and never mean. The last time I saw him (we lived near each other), he told me he was in a marriage for hire situation. He married a woman so she could get her green card and she paid him money to do it. I didn't bother calling the cops on him because he wasn't a bad person, just a broken one. I felt sorry for him & grateful to be free from his chaos.

As they say, "A fool and their money are easily parted." I was a total fool. I'm not bitter or angry about it (anymore). I used the experience to grow into a better, more independent person. I'm a new woman since the divorce 6 years ago & I don't think I would have changed had I not fallen so hard.

There's my experience...

Here is a good article:

http://www.wikihow.com/Spot-a-Gold-Digger

I think Beyonce made a song about it and Kanye too:

hat's a golddigger, ask Kanye West and E.P.M.D, they'll tell you...

LOl.

Anyways the whole paying things with a credit card, hmm, well there's money in the account. It's not like he's paying with credit all the time.

I pay alot with my debit card from chase. It doesnt mean i dont have money, the money is getting deducted from the account because of the purchases anyways. Also it saves alot of time, then having to go to an atm for hard cash. I prefer using my card when im out too.

I think a golddigger is a lazy bum using a men for only his money. Yeah a woman can say oh he's financially stable meaning, he's well off and his money would do well to take care of you, that's all. Kinda selfish. I would rather a woman who has her own combines with mines and share and share alike.

It's not my money is my money and HIS money is my money.

Oh and if your rich, get a iron clad prenup. even if the lawyer can get around it, she wont be getting totally half. it'll go to trial and deppending on the state. Well it might work.

Some women do marry to get a free pass ... but some men do marry because they get free sex... (in fact, I've heard that one many times).

Some women do marry to get a free pass ... but some men do marry because they get free sex... (in fact, I've heard that one many times).

LOL. id rather stay single and have my pick of women. She's not gonna use me for my money.

If she judges a man based on his status.

If she keeps wanting a man to get bigger and better things. He can have a perfectly great house in a great location that is almost paid off but she wants him to get a better one.

If she talks about how she is traditional but is unwilling to do her end of it

If she seems to view men as walking wallets rather than actual human beings

If she dumps you during hard times

OP, even if you're 'broke', be cognizant of the family dynamic. Gold-diggers have a keen eye for the total package of potentials. Considering your current situation and background, you could be ripe for that. Good luck

My family isn't rich. Im going to college with financial aid. BTW, how do you know my "current situation and background?"

You've posted some threads about a physical issue, inability to get a girlfriend, your physical description, where you're going to school and what your aspirations are. Gold-diggers can add up stuff and come to a conclusion, perhaps inaccurate in your case, but they might investigate, burning up your time and emotions.

Some signs of gold-diggery I've experienced are

- say if you ask someone to lunch, they immediately think they can pick the restaurant and herd you into dropping a c-note on some fancy Japanese food you don't even like

- after a few dates they want you to buy them a $600 Louis Vuiton hand bag for mother's day in as much as she's a mother of some other guy's mistake. Sorry, you're not MY mother.

- obsessive gab about vain trinketry and adornments they can't afford but assume you can

- an insecurity about themselves and thier agenda in which they try to control you when you're not with them by calling you and trying to keep you on the phone.

- She contrives some story about needing $500 for birth control so we can have sex and then demands you use a condom anyway when you actually have a go. Something fishy there.

Fooey.

I think gold diggers are con artists. Maybe most of them are sociopaths. They pretend to be something to get access to $$$. Very few people are gold diggers.

Ordinary people that have a sense of entitlement aren't really gold diggers.

Yes men do this too:

What do you call a musician who broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.

Think about this: Gold Digger VS Trophy Wife

There is someone for everyone

Many many men want a trophy wife: She has an Ivy League Education, held a successful position prior to marriage (or kids) , always looks like she just left a modeling shoot, attends seminars and is on the board of a charity and a museum. She does these things because the H either makes more than they need and he prefers her not to work - so she can be supportive of his social obligations & networks. And because even if they have someone come in...she needs to be the caretaker of his children. If she hadn't married him she would still be working and will go back to work after the divorce, regardless of her settlement.

If you cannot offer what it takes to get a trophy wife...you will call them gold diggers.

But unless you are in the habit of dating graduates of Cornell who are working abroad while staying at a relatives vacation home you will not meet a true gold digger.

Maybe freeloader? I think you would be able to tell one right away.

just don't pay for anything of hers. If she walks she never liked your ass to begin with and was planning on just using you for a free-ride until you ruined it with being a "cheap ass". Problem solved.

Think about this: Gold Digger VS Trophy Wife

 

There is someone for everyone

 

Many many men want a trophy wife: She has an Ivy League Education, held a successful position prior to marriage (or kids) , always looks like she just left a modeling shoot, attends seminars and is on the board of a charity and a museum. She does these things because the H either makes more than they need and he prefers her not to work - so she can be supportive of his social obligations & networks. And because even if they have someone come in...she needs to be the caretaker of his children. If she hadn't married him she would still be working and will go back to work after the divorce, regardless of her settlement.

 

If you cannot offer what it takes to get a trophy wife...you will call them gold diggers.

 

But unless you are in the habit of dating graduates of Cornell who are working abroad while staying at a relatives vacation home you will not meet a true gold digger.

 

Maybe freeloader? I think you would be able to tell one right away.

what the ****. Your definition of a trophy wife appears to very different from mine. Apparently a trophy wife is really ****ing hot, doesn't do **** all besides this, leaches off my wages (with plans of taking my money if we break up), and is on some bull**** charity comittee I don't give two ****s about (do I have to listen to her talk about that crap?). Lol **** not a trophy wife.

LOLOLOL. Yeah, not for everyone!

And no - no one talks about the charities.

I know average guys that married golddiggers. Maybe they are not the big time kind who go after rich men but they are looking for a stable man to support them and pay the bills. They want a meal ticket instead of actual love. My boss is married to a woman like this and in many ways I think my first marriage was somewhat like this as well.

I know average guys that married golddiggers. Maybe they are not the big time kind who go after rich men but they are looking for a stable man to support them and pay the bills. They want a meal ticket instead of actual love. My boss is married to a woman like this and in many ways I think my first marriage was somewhat like this as well.

My STBXW was like that.

My money was our money & her money was her money.

She was more than happy to contribute to the house when she moved in.

But after marriage she seemed to take personal offence over running out of our money & having to dip into her money.

bitch. LOL!

If you cannot offer what it takes to get a trophy wife...you will call them gold diggers.

 

But unless you are in the habit of dating graduates of Cornell who are working abroad while staying at a relatives vacation home you will not meet a true gold digger.

So the trailer park denizen who goes after the dude with the biggest double wide can never be considered a "gold-digger" as that term is reserved only for certain members of the top .001% of Northeastern establishment? Sorry, no.

But nice try in attempting to characterize gold-diggers as merely "better than" the men who decry them as such.

Rather than going to a checklist as others do (clep's is a pretty good one), will describe some underlying attitudes and characteristics to watch out for.

Gold-diggers tend to have no real hobbies. Lots of them will claim to be into whatever in the moment to attract their target, and will change chameleonlike once a new target is set. Telltale gold-digger "hobbies" include haute cuisine (watch out for the self-descriptive term "foodie"), wine, travel, symphony, museums, faux charity (the "buy a ticket" type or "go to a monthly board meeting type", not the real "actually do something" type), and any activity that takes place at a country club.

None of their "hobbies" will ever be anything simple or interesting. They love to water ski behind a donzi or cigarette boat (never behind a bass boat), but never canoe, they are passable golfers, but never frisbee golfers, they play tennis, never volleyball, shoot skeet, never archery, they love to be photographed, but don't photograph (why bother? pictures that don't include them are worthless). The pattern is that they do very little in life that doesn't put them in proximity with wealthy people, and when pushed or questioned a bit, don't really do anything much other than feed their luxury addiction, despite euphemising quite prodigiously about their "volunteer work," "cooking school," etc.

They tend to work in retail, specifically among decorators or interior designers or fashion stores. If there is an upscale "wholesale mart," or "decor mart," or luxury furniture showroom in your area, it will be crawling with gold-diggers. Go there, observe, and you will be able to distinguish them by sight alone after some practice. Look for concentrations of gay male interior designers and you will almost always find flocks of gold-diggers nearby.

Gold-diggers tend to also be "star-f_ckers" and will drop to their knees in a second merely to polish a celebrity knob. They are amazingly astute at feigning "sincere" interest in strangers they perceive to be wealthy or powerful. They will be preoccupied with royalty, can name the British royal family out to small branches on the family tree, will know the pedigree of all the wealthy families in their area. They are preoccupied with Ivy League schools, not because they provide any better education (everyone knows the Ivys jumped the shark on that 50+ years ago) but rather because of clubbish, NE social register connotations. They will know the names and street cred of every social club within 50 miles, and will never consider a man seriously who doesn't aspire to be a member of one of the top clubs.

As far as knowledge goes, they are woefully ignorant of most everything, but laughably so as to matters of taste. Their sole measures of quality are brands and cost. They believe that Cristal is better champagne than Veuve Cliquot, that Grey Goose or Belvedere vodka is better than Absolut. That a $20 plate of pad thai (when they are feigning "ethnic" sensitivity) is necessarily better than an $8 plate, and that things bought at Neiman Marcus are inherently better than the exact same item bought elsewhere (they will keep luxury store bags around their house or apartment). Their taste in art and literature is wealth-centric, if wealthy people like it they do too. They subscribe to Town & Country, Vogue and the New Yorker, but actually -read- only the tabloids they buy at the grocery store weekly.

Interestingly enough, they -will- pay for things on occasion, and may even get you nice gifts, but the balance will never tip past 80% your money/20% hers, and in time, you will realize that they resent every penny they spend doing things with you, no matter how ostensibly cheerful they are when offering to pay for something.

They will date you and have sex with you, maybe even -marry- you, until they figure out you aren't on the same page they are as far as social climbing, then they will start the search for the next target while still exclusive, even married, and once they find him, their feelings for you will miraculously change overnight (but they will rationalize their misgivings have been going on for some time). Even if you are on the same page, the instant they think an upgrade is obtainable, you are done. They are expert at presenting a completely false, seemingly authentic persona until they feel the new target is hooked hard enough. You will think you have found the coolest, most fun, down to earth girl in the world... until it's too late, truth comes out, and you realize how much time you have pissed away on what amounts to a waste of human skin.

If you are a masochist like me, you can play the game of seeing how deeply infatuated you can get them in the early going, how completely sexually satisfied, how good a BF you can be, and watch as they -still- go for the cash and don't change their perspective or priorities one iota. You absolutely can not change them, they are beyond all hope.

Don't believe the movies about these types "coming around" and falling for the average guy, that -never- happens. Three of my last five GFs have been gold-diggers, about 50/50 over my lifetime of relationships. Hopefully the above will help someone avoid repeating my mistakes. There are many other types of gold-diggers out and about, the above are the ones I have extensive personal experience with.

Have lots of expensive things with a modest paying job.

This is a bit tricky. It is very hard to know what someone is paid, some teachers make 100k and some lawyers make 40k. I knew someone in college who bought her own brand new convertible with babysitting money. And some items are gifts.

Ask you what you do for a living, what kind of car you drive instead of your hobbies right away

Asking what kind of car you drive only makes sense if you are 1) talking about cars or 2) you are picking her up and she needs to know what she should be looking for. But asking about your job is standard. I really find talking about work to be a much more natural conversation than the bland "what do you like to do for fun?"

Many many men want a trophy wife: She has an Ivy League Education, held a successful position prior to marriage (or kids) , always looks like she just left a modeling shoot, attends seminars and is on the board of a charity and a museum. She does these things because the H either makes more than they need and he prefers her not to work - so she can be supportive of his social obligations & networks. And because even if they have someone come in...she needs to be the caretaker of his children. If she hadn't married him she would still be working and will go back to work after the divorce, regardless of her settlement.

I wouldn't consider this a trophy wife, I know lots of women like this. Trophy wife suggests a significant age gap and the man wouldn't have gotten her without his money or success.

I do think there is a slight difference between a gold digger and a woman who is looking for security. A gold digger wants to leech off a man plain and simple. If you're looking, it will be obvious, she'll ask you to buy her things. It is one thing to talk about how you love your new handbag, it is another to stand outside the Louis Vitton shop and give your meaningful looks.

As for security, I'll give you an example. I used to know a couple, both of whom had degrees and decent salaries. The boyfriend disliked his field and was debated between applying for jobs in a field that paid $ and one that paid $$$$$. She encouraged him to choose the $$$$$ because she was hoping to be able to stay home when her children were small. You can say that is unfair of her or foolish of her, but she wasn't dating him for the money. He ended up picking a field that paid $$ and it didn't effect their relationship. There is a difference between a woman who likes the idea of a man with a high salary because of what it could do for their potential children and one who likes the idea of a man with a high salary because of what he can buy her.