New here and wondering where are the subforms for on meeting and attracting

[ketostix]

..Women. Well I stumbled across the site. I'm new here and I thought this might be a good place to get advice for dealing with women. All the forum titles seem to be about relationships, breakups, cheating, transitioning from friends to more, etc. But what about a guy that wants to meet and get sexual with new girls. This is the advise I'm looking for. Is this a site for women only?

[Lizzie60]

..Women. Well I stumbled across the site. I'm new here and I thought this might be a good place to get advice for dealing with women. All the forum titles seem to be about relationships, breakups, cheating, transitioning from friends to more, etc. But what about a guy that wants to meet and get sexual with new girls. This is the advise I'm looking for. Is this a site for women only?

 

No..not for women only.. there are lots of great guys on here.. they can also give great advices...

 

How old are you? Describe yourself..

[whichwayisup]

This site is not a pick-up joint. Try an actual 'dating' site.

[ketostix]

This site is not a pick-up joint. Try an actual 'dating' site.

 

Thanks Mr. Obvious. Did I say I was looking to date anyone from here? If this site is not about picking up then what is it, a relationship site? Hmm, maybe I should come back when and if I'm in a relationship.

[Touche]

Post under the dating section.

[ketostix]

No..not for women only.. there are lots of great guys on here.. they can also give great advices...

 

How old are you? Describe yourself..

 

Oh OK, thanks. Well I'm 29. I'm not sure how I should describe myself. Do you mean pyhiscally? I'm a tall, dark and handsome white guy from the USA. But I'm thinking apparently not gooed enough looking for most women, they're so picky. I think I'm a good guy. I guess the problem is as a guy I have to go up to women since they're not coming to me that I can tell. But then what? The rude poster after you suggested online dating, but I'd rather meet a girl first in real life even if it's at a bar. So any advice for me?

[ketostix]

Post under the dating section.

 

 

OK, but when I looked at the description it basically said for people in a dating relationship. I'm not really dating anyone right now.

[Touche]

What's wrong with going up to a girl? Most of the time that's how it works. When I was dating I never went up to guys.

[Touche]

OK, but when I looked at the description it basically said for people in a dating relationship. I'm not really dating anyone right now.

 

Oh, ok. Sorry. I guess you're in the right place right now then.

[Lizzie60]

Oh OK, thanks. Well I'm 29. I'm not sure how I should describe myself. Do you mean pyhiscally? I'm a tall, dark and handsome white guy from the USA. But I'm thinking apparently not gooed enough looking for most women, they're so picky. I think I'm a good guy. I guess the problem is as a guy I have to go up to women since they're not coming to me that I can tell. But then what? The rude poster after you suggested online dating, but I'd rather meet a girl first in real life even if it's at a bar. So any advice for me?

 

No...no... Keto.. this section is fine..

 

Don't listen to the others..

 

I will give you all the advices you need.. I'm a very experience woman..

[ketostix]

What's wrong with going up to a girl? Most of the time that's how it works. When I was dating I never went up to guys.

 

 

That's a loaded question. Go up to the girls but what I was wanting was advice after that. If I act casual and friendly then it's boring and I'm just making friends. And if I act agressive I'm worried I'll come acrossed as a creepy pervert. I don't ever want to be thought of one of those guys! So basically it's a balancing act except I'm not exactly sure which wire I should be balancing on.

[Belkin]

Well there are loads of posts about people seeking exactly the same sort of advice as you (in the dating forum)!

You'll just have to ask a specific question, because the "how do I get a date?" post is a bit too general.

And I'm a great guy btw, I just don't have great advice

[Lizzie60]

Keto.. Keto.. just be yourself.. don't push or force yourself to be someone you're not.

 

Girls - women love men with a good sense of humour, smart, confident, clean... that's mainly the top qualities women are looking for.. (me anyway LOL)

 

Don't be afraid to ask a girl out.. just don't come forward as being desperate or needy.. act as if you're not looking to get laid.. you're just looking to have a good conversation with a smart girl..

 

Ask her if you can offer her a drink.. a coffee... if she's sitting next to you in a public transit.. make a joke... say something..

 

Just check the reaction... go with your gut feeling...

[Touche]

That's a loaded question. Go up to the girls but what I was wanting was advice after that. If I act casual and friendly then it's boring and I'm just making friends. And if I act agressive I'm worried I'll come acrossed as a creepy pervert. I don't ever want to be thought of one of those guys! So basically it's a balancing act except I'm not exactly sure which wire I should be balancing on.

 

Is it sex only that you're interested in? That's going to be harder to find. Basically, the best approach is always the friendly, casual approach. That's how it will usually lead to more. The aggressive way, doesn't usually work with most women. Sounds like you pretty much know this already though.

[ketostix]

No...no... Keto.. this section is fine..

 

Don't listen to the others..

 

I will give you all the advices you need.. I'm a very experience woman..

 

Well I'm all ears. You have the look that I go for . Maybe I should practice on you lol. Nah, I'm just really looking for advice. I don't want to be one of those perverts!

[ketostix]

Is it sex only that you're interested in?

 

No I want everything good a girl can offer me, but sex is one of the first things and I don't want to be the "friend" while some other guy gets to be the lover.

 

That's going to be harder to find.

 

So if no sex and intimacy just conversation? That seems boring for both parties.

 

 

Basically, the best approach is always the friendly, casual approach. That's how it will usually lead to more. The aggressive way, doesn't usually work with most women. Sounds like you pretty much know this already though.

 

See I'm not so sure anymore. Every time I had to make the move and be agressive. When I'm being casual and friendly it seems like some other guy maybe a creepy frat guy ends up taking her home. I'm so confused.

[ketostix]

Keto.. Keto.. just be yourself.. don't push or force yourself to be someone you're not.

I'm not sure how to be anyone else. I'm not sure how to be myself lol. If I could I'd be more like Brad Pitt or something.

 

Girls - women love men with a good sense of humour, smart, confident, clean... that's mainly the top qualities women are looking for.. (me anyway LOL)

 

Well that seems easy. I have all that. Well maybe not all women realize it.

 

 

Don't be afraid to ask a girl out.. just don't come forward as being desperate or needy.. act as if you're not looking to get laid.. you're just looking to have a good conversation with a smart girl..

 

OK, now this makes sense I shouldn't be the creepy pervert. I don't think it's creepy and perverted by I want to get things hot and passionate asap. So I feel like I have to not be myself. So confusing.

 

Ask her if you can offer her a drink.. a coffee...

 

Well ever time I but a girl a drink at the bar I end up being out $5 and the girl quickly takes the drink and seems to avoided me and have no respect for me.

 

 

if she's sitting next to you in a public transit.. make a joke... say something..

 

It's all cars where I live. But I get your point, if I see a girl wherever, I got to get up the nerve and say something witty. It's just that I've done this several times and we just soon depart and nothing comes of it. And I feel like one of those creepy guys for soing it, but I guess that's something I have to deal with.

 

Just check the reaction... go with your gut feeling...

 

Hmm, yeah I guess I just have to keep putting my nose to the grindstone.

 

I don't mean to sound difficult it's just so complicated. And I only see girls at the bar, not any hotties at say the grocery store or where ever. Too bad there wasn't more women that looked like you stand next to me ain the grocery isle. I'd be all about that lol.

 

Anyway does anyone have advice for picking up girls in the bars?

[Touche]

No I want everything good a girl can offer me, but sex is one of the first things and I don't want to be the "friend" while some other guy gets to be the lover.

 

Well, it doesn't usually work that way. Maybe these girls are picking up on the fact that you're not interested in them beyond sex? I don't know. Because usually it's friends first then sex.

 

So if no sex and intimacy just conversation? That seems boring for both parties.

 

Not saying that. But yeah, it usually starts as friends. Have you ever had a relationship before?

 

 

 

See I'm not so sure anymore. Every time I had to make the move and be agressive. When I'm being casual and friendly it seems like some other guy maybe a creepy frat guy ends up taking her home. I'm so confused.

 

Just keep trying. You won't succeed every time but eventually you will.

[Dagger Kockburn]

No I want everything good a girl can offer me, but sex is one of the first things and I don't want to be the "friend" while some other guy gets to be the lover.

 

 

 

So if no sex and intimacy just conversation? That seems boring for both parties.

 

 

 

 

See I'm not so sure anymore. Every time I had to make the move and be agressive. When I'm being casual and friendly it seems like some other guy maybe a creepy frat guy ends up taking her home. I'm so confused.

 

This is interesting. I am in the same situation and found this site after Googling "Dating advice." Don't worry about my username, it's just my air guitar alter-ego. But that's another thread. I am a 30 year old male from the US. I've always been a really nice guy in how I treated women, but they always seem to cheat on me with some bad boy type.

 

I am almost wondering if women really know what they want. I mean, I just see the same patterns developing. I am nice to a girl, then she tells me, "Let's just be friends" and I find myself in the friend zone. Should I be more assertive and sexual in my approach to avoid the LJBF speech?

[ketostix]

Hey Dagger, that's exactly what I'm experiencing too. If being nice isn't working and being a sexual jerk is working for these other guys, then maybe that's what I need to start doing more? Or maybe my eyes are lying to me? I just don' want anyone to think I'm creepy or a pervert. That'd really suck. That reminds me, why is the guys who seem really creepy and perverted are never called that but sometimes nice guys are? Does anyone know why that is? And can anyone tell me how to be successful like those other guys? Or should I continue being nice? Actually, I don't even know what a girl considers a nice guy and a creep. Can anyone seriously explains this to me?

[ketostix]

Just keep trying. You won't succeed every time but eventually you will.

 

How many times should I keep trying it the way I am before I get successes or before I switch what I'm doing? I have to work 12 hours a day. I just dont have the time to keep trying to pick up women at the nice guy rate. I guess what I'm asking is what is the average rate of tries to successes for people here? Is it 10%, 1% or what? I'm just trying to figure out if what I'm doing works efficiently.If not I want to try something else.

 

My experience is that if a girl doesn't have sex within a few days of meeting you she never does? Why is this? I always thought girls need a lot of time and dates before that. Should I be more aggressive or not?

[Dagger Kockburn]

I know! For the women out there on LS, can one you explain what I'm doing wrong? I mean, I've tried being the "nice guy" so to speak and all it has gotten me is more female friends. But women say they want a nice guy. How come I can't create attraction?

[Touche]

My experience is that if a girl doesn't have sex within a few days of meeting you she never does? Why is this? I always thought girls need a lot of time and dates before that. Should I be more aggressive or not?

 

I don't get what you're saying. Who says that if a girl doesn't have sex with you within a few days she never does? That's ridiculous. Yes, nice girls DO need more time. Girls who are looking for just a fling don't care.

 

I can't answer if you need to be more aggressive since I don't know what you're doing wrong, if anything, now.

 

Maybe you're coming off as too desperate and not confident. Girls don't like that. Sex seems to be your MAIN focus and aim. That's a mistake. You first have to get to know someone and ask about them and their interests, etc. Because if you don't care about them and don't want to get to know them as a friend then you might just want a prostitute. Then, you'll just get the sex part and you don't have to worry about getting to know them.

[ketostix]

I don't get what you're saying. Who says that if a girl doesn't have sex with you within a few days she never does? That's ridiculous. Yes, nice girls DO need more time. Girls who are looking for just a fling don't care.

 

I can't answer if you need to be more aggressive since I don't know what you're doing wrong, if anything, now.

 

Maybe you're coming off as too desperate and not confident. Girls don't like that. Sex seems to be your MAIN focus and aim. That's a mistake. You first have to get to know someone and ask about them and their interests, etc. Because if you don't care about them and don't want to get to know them as a friend then you might just want a prostitute. Then, you'll just get the sex part and you don't have to worry about getting to know them.

 

 

I'm saying that whenever I just be friendly and don't think about having sex with the girl then nothing happens but friendship. But if I act more agressively that's worked sometimes. So how can it be that having sex as the main focus and aim is the problem? I'm not saying I want just sex, I'm saying I want the whole enchilada, sex, friendship all of that. But I don't want to be just friends while the girls are having sex with every other guy. Do you get what I'm saying now? So what should I do?

[serial muse]

This is interesting. I am in the same situation and found this site after Googling "Dating advice." Don't worry about my username, it's just my air guitar alter-ego. But that's another thread. I am a 30 year old male from the US. I've always been a really nice guy in how I treated women, but they always seem to cheat on me with some bad boy type.

 

I am almost wondering if women really know what they want. I mean, I just see the same patterns developing. I am nice to a girl, then she tells me, "Let's just be friends" and I find myself in the friend zone. Should I be more assertive and sexual in my approach to avoid the LJBF speech?

 

Ok, look. Without being a big jerk about it, it's still possible to be confident and direct about the fact that you're interested in dating a woman rather than being her buddy; the issue with so-called "nice guys" is some guys seem to interpret "nice" to mean "indirect" about communicating that you're interested in someone romantically - a.k.a. wishy-washy. Asking someone out is not acting like a jerk; it's declaring your intentions. Dancing around the issue while pretending to be someone's friend - and pretending to want nothing more - is a turnoff. Just do it. Sometimes, it won't work. Sometimes, it will.

 

If you're interested in just a sex partner, as it sounds like keto may be, I don't know how to advise, however.

 

My experience is that if a girl doesn't have sex within a few days of meeting you she never does? Why is this? I always thought girls need a lot of time and dates before that. Should I be more aggressive or not?

 

No. It's not whether she'll have sex with you within a few days; what happens quickly, often is whether she thinks of you in a sexual or a friend light. That doesn't mean she'll go ahead and jump into bed with you at the first opportunity. Good lord.

Edited March 26, 2008 by serial muse