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I know I have overlook or ignored signs that he not fully invest and will eventually want to break up again. I guess I was hoping that he would change his mind. That’s feelings can grow the longer we spend together. When he came back after the break up and want to date again, I agree but was being very cautious. He put in effort of texting me everyday, calling me every night before bed to talk until we fall asleep, and take me out on dates, being caring and attentive made me thought that he changed and maybe he does like me since he putting in efforts. That’s where I guess my feelings grew for him even more. A lot of confusing things happened during the time I was dating him. It made me feel confuse and conflicted. When we broke up for good, I do accepted it because I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t fully like me either. I just feel sad knowing I stressed him out during dating and regret I didn’t try harder to plan dates and spend time with him. Part of me just wonder if I tried harder to not stress him out, would things turn out differently.

No matter how hard I try, what different methods I try it doesn't work out and always left hurt, it has gotten to the point where I no longer wanna be hurt, Here in the UK, quite possibly jailed if you get it wrong and the women doesn't like you, I think I am better off alone, after all I am at least safe and free then. Love doesn't exist outside of god anymore. I have been messed about, bullied by women, strung along, ganged up on and they all got away with it, then when a serious of very unfortunate events In my life happen I turn to a women she gives me the finger and like a normal person asked why she was treating me this way and bang I am in jail for harassment, reconciliation is illegal, love is dangerous and life is a joke. Thankyou very much.

With respect, you seem to be re-writing history in your mind. Your first post about this break-up paints a very different picture, one of a man who's never been that keen and went along with things rather than demonstrating true interest of his own volitiion. It seems you can't accept that people sometimes change their minds, and he was never really as into this as you were. He should not have continued seeing you if he knew he wasn't that into you, no. But this is why you need to do a better job of looking out for yourself, too. You introduced this man to your parents after he'd already broken up with you once. That was not smart on your part. He told you on your fourth date that he wasn't really into you. You needed to walk away then, not double-down in your efforts to keep him around. It nearly never ends well, as you're seeing. I don't quite understand how you thought things were good, given the entire backstory here. You were (and still are) in quite a lot of denial about your connection to him. He's been showing signs all along that he wasn't going to stick around. You were simply not wanting to see those signs.

He didn't continue to pursue you.....he actually broke up with you early on. Then at around 2 months in, he confessed he was still struggling to be attracted. Yes, he did nice things for you, but him being unable to find the right level of attraction never really went away. This should have ended when he said that he still wasn't attracted the second time.

I think I’m just really upset. If he felt no attraction towards me then why continue dating me and only let me know months later. Why tell me he likes me after our second date and continue to pursue me. Showing me he was interested, continuous texting, calling and taking me out on dates. When we together it felt nice and everything felt good. I think I’m just really upset, more on myself for like him too much and too quick. I let my wall down too early and end up being heartbroken. I just feel dumb for thinking we were good.

When the excuses don't add up to why a person doesn't want to be with you the answer is simple. He's just not feeling you in the way that matters to him and there is literally nothing you can do to change this. You should have ended it with him the moment he told you he didn't feel a spark for you. What he's looking for is passion and he isn't feeling it with you. Let him go so you can find a man who does.

I don't know if it's beneficial to be analyzing a third party relationship where neither party is even here. It's like responding to hearsay of hearsay of hearsay (you saying what she says about what her husband says)... Is that even useful? That being said, there are lots of possibilities here. One is that he doesn't want the same things she does (e.g. kids) but she pushed her own desires on him and he caved in because he doesn't have strong boundaries. Another is that, like you said, she doesn't believe that she deserves a more compatible partner because she has low self esteem. Or it could be both, or neither, or there's something going on in their relationship that we don't even know about.

This is a lot of analysis for a 3 month long relationship. Why are you even so invested in this? Why are you jumping through so many mental hoops to try and explain this to yourself? The early dating stages are precisely for determining whether or not you feel chemistry between the two of you. You can't know for sure that they are the right person for you so early on... But you can definitely know that they are the WRONG person. Once you know that they are wrong, what's the point in dragging things out? He's doing the right thing IMO. If he doesn't feel it, he doesn't feel it. Far better that he be honest with you now than string you along. Also stop twisting yourself into pretzels trying to figure out "what's wrong with you" - it's very possible that nothing is wrong (except for the fact that you seem to get attached very very quickly), you just don't have chemistry together.

What sort of texts have you sent her?

Is is the primrary reason didn't work out. It's not something that can be "overcome."

It’s not an issue, it’s the issue. What do you mean “overcome”? Gain attraction over time? That’s not possible. Either you feel it, or you don’t. He doesn’t, and he won’t. Or do you mean stay with you despite not being attracted to you? Maybe he’d do it for whatever wrong reason, but why would you want to be with a man who isn’t attracted to you? It’s very humiliating and it would never make you truly happy. One more time, no.

My thought exactly.

Some people are just gronks, (lacking self-awareness and emotional depth, unaware of the feelings and boundaries of others), and if you're a sensitive and kind person in a family of gronks, you're in trouble.

I understand attraction or he didn’t feel the spark is an issue, but he still wanted to date me so I thought it something he can overcome. But maybe it was my indecisive that drove him away. I regret a lot not trying harder or plan more dates instead of leaving it for him to do. I wish I knew it stressed him out, I would have help or take over and do it on my own. I can’t stop blaming myself for this break up. He even made a comment that I should have try harder, but I stayed the same the whole time. It really hit hard when I heard that comment.

You know AI chatbots have led to at least one suicide, right? They absolutely must not be trusted with your mental health. As for the AI virtual friend/lover thing....I'm familiar with them, and they're entertainment, nothing more. It's a kind of sex work, like online pornography, and that has it's place, but it does hinder your ability to make friends and improve your social skills. They just tell you what you want to hear: you're hot, you're so fun and interesting, boy is your schwanz huge, all that BS. Are there any resources around you to go out and meet people in a friendly, welcoming environment? Meetup, Facebook or reddit groups...are their things like Unitarian meetinghouses or a gym near where you live? You have to go do that stuff. Finding people who share your interests and working on those interests together is important.

You don't need to feel Hey, don't be embarrassed. Mental health disorders are very common, especially temporary ones caused by external issues, (like, for instance, living with argumentative family), so don't feel like you're alone or different from other people. If you really feel you might have a problem you need to look into as soon as possible to avoid it impacting your life too much. At 17 you must be either still at school and maybe planning to continue your education, or you might even already be working, but whichever it is, if you ignore a growing problem it will eventually start to affect all areas of your life. Honestly, you have no reason to be embarrassed about reaching out for help, it takes a lot of guts to deal with things like this, and mental health professionals won't judge you, and they're bound to confidentiality so no one but you has to know that you're seeking support. Aside from that, you're displaying self-awareness and empathy, which is a good indicator that you're completely sane . I also would encourage you to talk to your brother if you can, a strong bond with a sibling can be a great source of friendship and support throughout your life.

Oh, I understand. I'm from Mexico, and religiously speaking, I'd say I'm Christian because I believe in the God of the Bible, although I must admit I'm not someone who goes to church or follows it to the letter. I simply believe in God and in loving people. I've thought about talking to a professional, although I must admit I'm a little embarrassed, but I have no doubt that I might have some kind of disorder. I hate it when adults don't behave like adults, even though I sometimes empathize with them. It's their first time living, just like me, but they don't realize that many of their actions hurt others. My family is in another state, and honestly, I don't talk to them much, only to wish them a happy birthday. My relationship with my brother is quite good, but I feel ashamed to tell anyone what I'm feeling. In fact, that's why I'm writing this here. Thank you so much for responding to my comments; I really appreciate it

Thank you everyone for the replies and reinforcing what I guess I already knew. I agree with you all, I made mistakes not stopping this earlier and now it's too far gone. In hindsight I was never really comfortable with her kissing other people, especially when some of them scenes were rather hot and heavy, but I told myself this is what actors do. I guess that opened the door for her to push further and I was too stupid not to shut it. I still wouldn't classify it as porn so we can agree to disagree there, as as has been said how it's classified really doesn't matter. As for doing this stuff before, well yes, we've had our fair share of adventures. We have made movies for our own viewing and one some rather risque stuff but it's always only ever been us. There had never ever been discussion of another people in our relationship. In fact when a couple we were friends with came out as swingers my wife was appalled and we distanced ourselves from them. That decision seems bizarre now given what I'm going through. So I guess where we are is that I am going to reiterate where I'm at to her and then the ball is in her court. Either she respects our relationship and me and we can move forward or she totally disrespects me and my feelings and the choice will have been made for me.

Ohh, good catch. Yes this seems likely!

I wish they had such things where I live. I'd have used it earlier instead of finally finding out that she's cheating, after suspecting her for years.

Who wouldn’t want to grow up in a healthy, supportive family? Unfortunately, not all of us are given that privilege. When you study relationships and start to understand how they should work, you suddenly feel the emptiness of what you never had. You notice other families who communicate openly, support each other, and grow together, and you realize how different things are at home. (your home). Part of you wants to create the same dynamic with your own family, because you want to feel in a safe place, but you know it wouldn’t work, and that makes you feel broken. That sense of warmth and safety that real families share is priceless, and many of us have never experienced it. You may wonder who am I to talk like this. I'd love to say I'm not an antropologyst, but I'm someone who experienced this on his own skin. To share a real life things, a friend of mine found that kind of love in his partner’s family, and it completely changed him. Hearing his story made me reflect on my own background, where love exists only on a biological level, without true unity or emotional growth. I can cleary see his transition from a guy to a man, just because of the influence of that family. He also told me now He feel in a safe place. Like something like a "positive feedback loop" or something like "honeymoon phase" but perpetual. I look around and see families who grow together, while I feel the sadness of not having one. Even the people I hoped I could rely on behave in ways that remind me of the environment I grew up in, shouting, disrespect, and a lack of care. Instead of having a solid family or social circle to lean on, I feel alone among people who often show only their worst traits. Whenever you try to open up, you end up getting hurt. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never find a group I can truly call family, a team that moves forward together. And I keep wondering where I might find people who can finally make the world feel safe.Sure, I can still see families united, but I can sense that something's not right. Even though I see them united, I see them partying, always being present, etc., there's something about their level of rudeness or how they relate to each other that makes you say they're all together for reasons of blood alone, and not to help each other. I always wonder, in these cases, where we should start to create points, pillars, people in our lives who we can truly trust?

"Cultural background" means the country you come from, your religion, your education, etc, . So, you're coping with a lot, it's hard enough navigating your teenage years without having difficulties at home making it harder. Anxiety disorders, depression, bipolarity, etc, can be inherited, and if you think you may have some type of disorder then, if possible, the best thing to do is see your doctor and talk to him/her about it, and if you need therapy they can refer you to a professional who can diagnose and support you. The anxiety you feel about your girlfriend, a kind of over-dependence, could also be part of an anxiety disorder. It's quite likely that living with parents who create a stressful environment by arguing is a big part of any emotional distress you're feeling, and unfortunately there's probably not much you can do about that, adults don't always act like grown-ups. Do you have grand-parents, siblings, or any other family who you could turn to to talk about what's happening?

It sounds to me that she's already there, if she's outsourcing her desire for kink to her new career. OP has she ever asked you for stuff like public/risky sex or shooting your own private movies, or is this somewhat out of the blue?

The lady in question clearly has exhibitionist tendencies. If the OP isn't exploring that with her I could see her growing bored with the relationship over time. Perhaps he could agree to participate in only fans with her.

Hi, thank you so much for your reply. I don't quite understand what you mean by "cultural background." So, I'll say that I'm from a Latin American country, and I'm 17 years old. I've been thinking that I'm just another teenager with obvious emotional problems, I say this because of my age. My family problems seem to center around my mother and father. I know they shouldn't be together, but they are, and I doubt they'll ever separate because the time for decisions has passed. Sometimes they seem like good parents, but then they have to argue about something, and that stresses me out a lot, to the point where I feel like I'm going to explode. The slightest noise I hear when they're like that causes me so much stress, ugh. My father went to a psychologist before (many years ago) for anxiety and bipolar disorder. I don't know if that can be inherited, but one of my conclusions is that I might have it too. I am very dependent on my girlfriend, and I am in a situation where this year I have seen her a maximum of 15 or 20 times, which puts me at a point where I cannot sleep at night