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The answer to the "why" is rather simple: She's not you, she doesn't know what you generally are like, and she's not in your head. She probably feels embarrassed about the fact that she was obvious about liking you on the day you met. She doesn't have any reason to think sober you is attracted to her, so it would be foolish for her to keep being hopeful in her interactions with you. To save herself from great disappointment, she's probably told herself you were just drunk on the day you met and are just being nice to her now and she needs to move on. Also, people are generally advised not to over-text with someone they've just met and would like to get to know. This is because regular texting makes one feel like they know the other person well when they really don't. It creates a false sense of intimacy, which often leads to disappointment. So, understandably, she might not want to engage in extended texting with you. I'm inclined to agree with you when you say you're probably incompatible. You're probably better off focusing on women whose communication style is exactly like yours.

You both have every right to believe whatever it is you two choose to believe. It's clear, to me, at least, that you both are more intent on propagating your own agenda than actually taking time to read and comprehend what's written. If you two insist on refusing to understand, well... all I can say is knock yourselves out with the cavalcade of assumptions and misrepresentations. Good luck with that! Thread's yours!

Right, I think the nature of the game has changed and there is more fast-food type dating with the apps. But if you look back a couple of centuries ago there is very little evidence people were more virtuous, theres more evidence they were more open about their terrible behaviour. I go by the idea most people aren't all that nice, and of the ones who are only a small portion of them will be a good fit for you. The job of dating is to find one who is. Challenging sure, but resenting the ones who dont fit only wastes time and energy.

…which is objectively untrue. Maybe, but not because people have become selfish and horrible. Whenever someone applies such harsh words to mundane dating behaviors the reason is usually deep frustration with oneself.

Right, I think OP was just waiting for a time to say the game is rigged and its hopeless. I would agree with the general sentiment that the dating world has gotten harsher and a lot more fly-by-night. So has the career and housing world in most countries. But in the same way even though the odds maybe aren't as good as they used to be any more if you throw your hands up and complain the result will always be a fail. You need to develop thick skin and a good ability to prioritise your time for things that actually merit it.

It’s pretty clear to everyone reading your posts that you are inferring that what that girl did was horrible and selfish. You try not to say that directly and back off with way too much defensiveness whenever someone tries to point that out, but that’s what you’re implying. Even if you aren’t angry at this girl, specifically, the fact that you find behavior such as hers horrible and selfish proves that you are out of touch with reality. You apply disproportionately heavy ethical judgment to something that isn’t even morally reprehensible at all. You need to learn to see things in perspective. You have to understand that a woman ghosting you because she didn’t enjoy your texting for absolutely whatever reason is not a sign of superficiality, let alone selfishness or being “horrible”. I don’t think any woman is ever going to be happy to undergo such moral scrutiny from you and be exposed to such grossly exaggerated generalizations on your side.

Okay, so I read the first and last couple of pages. I don't personally think it's a problem to wait to ask someone out, I imagine it's just a personal preference. Some women will prefer that you wait and some don't. I generally prefer to build some rapport first, but I obviously can't speak for other women. I do think you're overanalyzing it at this point though. Sometimes things just don't work out - statistically speaking, most things don't work out, actually. There's nothing to be gained from continuing to flog the poor dead horse.

So you sexually harassed another woman in a club, got beaten up for it, but you can't accept it when you're told that you only have yourself to blame? Well, sorry, dude, but you only have yourself to blame. And yes, you absolutely deserve to feel humiliated, because you were sexually harassing a woman who just wanted to dance. If I were her I'd have left immediately. Good on the guy for teaching you a lesson, too.

Okay, clearly neither of you seems to like each other very much, let alone love each other, so it's a good thing that you are separated, right? Maybe start looking for a lawyer so you can make it official? Out of curiosity, why was there a tracker on her phone a few years ago? Did you put it there?

I don't see it that way! Even if some piece of advice isn't directly useful, it's indirectly useful because it at least helps me eliminate what doesn't work for me! Part of the process of figuring out who I am is figuring out who I'm not! Take this situation in particular: the fact that a segment of this discussion revealed that hypothetical we've been throwing around so far has helped me quite a bit, in showing me that taking my time with things is a VERY good way to filter out superficiality and selfishness! :)) So, yeah, the advice may not be applicable from my perspective, because it would lead to things I don't want, but did help me understand things better! I don't post to agree with everyone or to have everyone agree with me, I post because I want to get as many different perspectives as possible, after which I look at each perspective, try to spread them out on a spectrum, and see where I land on it! I'm nowhere near having it all figured out, but I have more figured out now than I did back when I first posted!

Ok then. It seems like we're just getting into irrelevant abstractions then basically, if you're just pointing out qualities nobody really values in general, indeed aren't great qualities. It doesn't seem like theres any advice anyone can give you if youve got it all figured out.

Or even if that's what had happened, then yes! Would've been horrible and selfish, and I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with it, anyway! :))) Again, if you don't find selfishness and superficiality "horrible," that's fine! Your perspective doesn't have to match mine! But I, personally, find both of those aspects to be horrible, yes!

No, Jesus! =)) What did I just say, the concrete situation which took place has nothing to do with the concept I find horrible and selfish - completely losing interest because of two random texts / judging someone solely based on two texts. Haven't we already established that they're 100% not the same occurrence, because that hypothetical is not what happened in this case? =)) I genuinely don't get what's unclear:))

So deciding not to continue the conversation after a couple of vague follow up texts a week after meeting is horrible and selfish?

Again, finding out that losing any and all interest to the point of ghosting due to a couple of genuinely harmless texts is an actual thing which happens :)) Again, unrelated to the situation, I am 100% certain that wasn't the case IRL, but still! Shocking! :)) Well, that's your system of value, and that's fine! I have many, many things which I absolutely do consider horrible, selfishness and superficiality being among them. Yet again, not about the scenario, as that was clearly just her not having had the same interest I had from the start, related to the concept specified above - concept, not scenario.

So who has been "horrible" in this situation? The girl in OP, the people in the thread giving advice that didn't align with your views? "Horrible" is a pretty strong word, I now reserve such terms for people I run across who are deliberately nasty and manipulative, which thankfully isnt going to be too common. The fact that you label anything in this scenario as "horrible" directly contradicts the last statement in bold.

I don't understand why either of you still tolerates the other. You were not only disrespectful to the woman you assaulted in the club, but your behavior also said 'f-you' to your GF. So you're not in a partnership on the same side; you're adversaries.

Oh, not at all! I just gotta find someone who's at least as jaded as I am! I am perfectly apt at compartmentalising, I am capable of separating vile societal tendencies from individual people, I don't judge EVERYBODY as being horrible, but I do judge as horrible those people who demonstrate themselves to be horrible! Same goes for everything else! I am angry, yes! I am frustrated, yes! But I know exactly what makes me angry, why I am frustrated, and I have no issues with keeping things in perspective.

With all due respect, I think you are far too jaded to be dating right now anyway.

And more power to them, honestly! But, for me, it's a complete and utter mess. And, unfortunately, I can only live my own life:)) Again, points to the same conclusion: any and all methods are pointless other than doing whatever works best for me. I'm not looking to pad my numbers, I'm not looking to speedrun the entire spectrum of probability, my ultimate goal is finding a long-term partner with whom I can have a functional relationship, and who enriches my life as I do theirs. Simple as. Anything which comes short of that is whatever, water under the bridge! Now, where this whole dating thing also intersects with humanity's process of going absolutely Medieval on itself, that's a different story for a different time. That'll never not get me riled up.

You realize it's not that messy for many people though, right? There are just as many who have fun with it and remain relatively low-drama. It's not a mess in general for everyone.

That's exactly my point, I'm done with all of that!:)) Both the "wait x days before yadda-yadda," and the "text the next day and set up a date yadda-yadda" stuff! I'll wait however much I feel like waiting, and I'll set up a date whenever I feel like setting up a date! :)) Thank you, and nothing but the same to you as well!

Well I would say you are looking very scientifically at something that doesn't work that way... But anyway good luck to you.

Well, I think you may have misunderstood me back then, as well. That's on me, because I tend to skip phrases when I'm revved up, but I have had and have no ill will or hard feelings toward absolutely anyone in this thread! I am 100% done with any and all methods! I am just going to do what feels natural and good for me. If it works, great, if not, bullet(s) dodged! Yes, this thread has pushed me into frustration, but it has done so in the sense that I have seen how much of a mess dating is in general, it's been min-maxed to hell and back, and I loathe min-maxing. It's the one surefire way of sucking all of the fun out of the game. So, yeah! I'll just do me, and if anyone else vibes, then that's cool!

Haha ok man. But if you look at the first post I quoted, there is a lot of underlying frustration in that. All I'm saying is it may be worth sitting with yourself or a therapist and getting to the bottom of that rather than relying on and defending some "method" that only get you frustrated and arguing with people on the internet.