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After 3 dates I wouldn't be trying to measure feelings through texting frequency. If the dates are good, he follows through, and he keeps seeing you, that's the signal to pay attention to. Twice a day is not strange this early. What would worry me more is getting attached so fast that every gap in communication starts to feel like danger.

After 3 dates I wouldn't be trying to measure feelings through texting frequency. If the dates are good, he follows through, and he keeps seeing you, that's the signal to pay attention to. Twice a day is not strange this early. What would worry me more is getting attached so fast that every gap in communication starts to feel like danger.

After 3 dates I wouldn't be trying to measure feelings through texting frequency. If the dates are good, he follows through, and he keeps seeing you, that's the signal to pay attention to. Twice a day is not strange this early. What would worry me more is getting attached so fast that every gap in communication starts to feel like danger.

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

I would leave it alone. Three weeks in, this is already way too intense and way too personal for something that barely got off the ground. Whether you meant well or not, once you're discussing his surgery, his boundaries and your future sex life this early, the whole thing is already off track. If he reaches out, slow it way down. If he doesn't, let it end.

You're not really confused, you just don't like the answer. You asked her out and she did not say yes. The hair touching and complimenting your cologne don't mean much now, because plenty of people are warm or flirty at work without wanting to date a coworker. I'd stay polite, keep it professional, and not bring it up again.

I see what your saying. I think that she does believe that she shows love in other ways but if you're "showing someone love" in a way thats not their love language or in a way that doesnt speak to them, it still leaves the person feeling like they're not loved. Her love language is acts of service so If I tried to show love through quality time with her, its not going to hit home.

I don’t mean that you should apologize for wanting to have more sex with your wife, not at all. The problem is your apparent conviction that she is supposed to want it as much as you do. You perceive her refusals as personal rejections because you think that if she doesn’t want to have sex it means she doesn’t love you. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that. You should analyze your relationship as a whole and see whether her love is manifested in other aspects besides sex. And then have a talk with her without even a hint of entitlement or pressure, and together figure out what exactly makes her want sex less.

You handled it correctly by blocking him, but you should have done it the first time he insulted you.

You're going around and around and around in circles, repeating all the same things you have said multiple times in your previous thread. I don't know what we can tell you that we haven't already told you several times, honestly.

In dating in general. My head is spinning. The last 2 times I’ve been properly depressed have been because of this relationship. We spent 11 months together and I’m now confused as ever. It feels like I keep making the same mistake, although it isn’t my fault. People wanting ridiculous things from me. My previous ex wanted to be on my mortgage for no reason and my current ex wanted kids and to live with me in my house but not to get married. I tried to look at it from her point of view, to reason and I can’t see it. She wanted to meet my family and friends and see how I ‘interact’ with them and live with me to see what it is like (conditions). But she wanted kids with me ASAP. In December she even suggested let’s try till May and if it doesn’t happen get testing (I’m assuming IVF). A very emotional and expensive process I would not want to do with someone I’m not married to/committed with. Then I sort of got angry with her because I’m like I want to get married one day but it’s not doing me a favour. I want to come to a mutually agreed conclusion with someone that is what is right to do. I only even mentioned it because of the seriousness of the other things we were talking about (kids, living together etc). She said coming to court with me for my lawsuit against a bank would be a big deal as it’s something you would always remember, yet having kids and moving in with me isn’t ??!? Full of contradictions. Now I feel distant and defensive. I feel like people always try and use me. I’ve worked hard to be stable (financially/emotionally), however, it’s always getting tested. I spent so much time with her and she wasn’t even there for me when the chips were down. She just wanted a kid and to pressure me.

That’s what is hurting me a lot and stopping me from moving on. When we first started dating it was a breath of fresh air. We live 15 minutes away from each other. I’ve never lived that close to someone I’ve been dating. It helped tremendously as we could spend a lot of time together. Then all of a sudden, she would say weird things like ‘ I have my own flat so I don’t want to then come to yours and be cooking or putting the sofa cover back on’. This really impacted me as I never asked her to do all those things and I didn’t say all the many many things I did for her. My ex partner wanted to be on my mortgage even though she never gave me a penny and wanted to live off me, so my current ex knew it was a big trigger point. Last few months she would bring up living together constantly, for what reason I do not know. I explained to her I’d rather buy somewhere together even if it’s 90% me and 10% her, so it’s ours. I don’t want to be in a position again where someone is living in my house and we fall out and then they have to leave. My family (rightfully) also would object to it as I’ve been used financially many times. I’m not desperate to get married but the things she wanted asap (kids and living together) for me are in the remit of marriage. When I would bring up marriage, she would have a million excuses or conditions. She is 8/9 years older than me and has been married before, so I felt bitter as she wants what she’s never had (kids) and what she has had before (marriage) didn’t care about. I would be against her in my head, then she would do really nice things that made me think of the original her and I would relent. I saw the pregnancy tests and we did a lot with me present. The lines were positive, however, became very faint afterwards.

This whole relationship has caused me a lot of distress as it has really warped my mind. She seemed so normal for 5/6 months and when we started to talk about kids, everything changed. She knows I own my own house and I run my own business and I’m not looking to relocate (far anyway) in the near future. I made it clear that I believe in marriage before kids as I want to make sure me and my partner are content. I don’t want to be a ‘baby daddy’. The bitterness and resentment on my part come from two areas: 1) she has been married before, yet insists to me having kids with me actually shows she is more devoted as we are combined forever. 2) Now the relationship is over I’ve seen how she pressured me. She would constantly say ‘ I’m broody’ and when we had just reconciled ask me if I wanted to try for kids that month. Knowing that if I say no, it will be a fight and if I said yes then I wouldn’t have meant it. When she got pregnant, it was an accident, I didn’t know she was ovulating and we thought she had just had a period. The pregnancy stick had lines for a week and then turned negative after. As soon as the pregnancy wasn’t viable, she turned against me. Saying I didn’t react well etc. all I asked was maths, I have never been in that situation. I didn’t know what to do for the last few months, on one hand I felt bad as I know she wanted this and the relationship had had good times, but on the other hand I do not agree with what she wants. She wanted to have kids and live with me in my house and would say ‘ I want to see how you interact with your friends and family and what it’s like living with you first’ but she wanted kids ASAP as its benefits her as she is almost 41. Im finding it hard to move on mentally. It kind of ruined the experience of being ‘pregnant’ with someone.

So someone i used to work with years ago recently messaged me out of the blue, we communicated for a week and did tentatively talk about meeting up but I started to get weird vibes so backed off a little. Ive recently come out of a relationship and have been enjoying my own company so the thought of this potentially being a date did freak me out so I politely messaged him to explain and let him down gently that I wasn't interested in meeting up. He then ended up getting angry saying I hated him and always have and he doesn't like me like that plus I'd done this before (I told him I was not single years ago when he messaged then) and i should just be honest. I deleted didnt reply because theres no point adding more fuel to the fire. Anyway he messaged again calling me rude etc. So i replied trying to again tell him why and be polite. Anyway I eventually got an apology and he explained things going on in his life (he'd had bad experiences with relationships, been stalked, had anxiety) so again I was nice, sympathised as ive had simular experiences but he still was constantly asking me if I wanted to talk as friends and kept repeating this. Alarm bells were ringing for me so in the end I told him no and blocked him. He did have one last word to insult me again, it was like everytime i told him no he went on the defence. I'm overthinking it now as I should have just said no and been blunt instead of trying to save someone's feelings. Did I handle this correctly?

I think that she feels like its mostly on her but I do a lot. I cook dinner every night, have her coffee from Starbucks every morning, take care of household tasks, plan vacations, take the kids to their storting events, ext. The financial stuff mostly does fall on her because she already had a lot of financial irons in the fire when we met and it's just easier for it to remain that way since she is more in tune with everything that's going on. That being said, we both work full time and think about the same amount so both of our paychecks go towards paying all of the bills. I do try and do as much as possible around the house, but I know she thinks its not enough.

We dont have to put a number on it but its about having a physical connection which does mean more than just sex. So yes, it is that big of a deal. I certainly an not going to apologize for wanting to have that connection to my wife. If I feel that connection through physical touch thats just what it is and Its not intentional. If I could just not feel the way I do, I wouldn't.

Does your wife work? Are you an equal partner in the home, eg., carrying half the mental load? Or are you a "helper," who relies on your wife to do all the heavy lifting of figuring out meal prep, shopping, kids' vaccinations, birthday parties, PTA meetings, etc., while adding to her load by asking her to tell you what needs to be done?

It is a big deal if she doesn’t want to do it that often. There are many couples who have sex less often than twice per week, especially if they’ve been together for several years and have kids.

You asked her for a date and she gave you an excuse. That should be all you need to close the book on this situation. If you don't you are going to find yourself in HR.

You seem to be interpreting this as a signal of....something. It's nothing. It's just her moving her hair away from her face and likely has no idea you are even paying attention to this or assigning meaning to it. It's disappointing, but you already shot your shot and she isn't interested the way you are. I don't think there's anything to be confused about at this point.

I appreciate the input. I certainly don't try to pressure her but also I can't change what my fundamental needs are. I don't want to just do it just to do it. That's how I feel closest to the most connected to her is through physical touch weather sex or otherwise. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with a man wanting to have sex with his wife. I'm certainly not trying to make it in everyday thing. I could see how something like that would be a lot of pressure but to want to be intimate with my wife even just a couple times a week doesn't seem like it should be a big deal. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just can't change the way that I feel although I don't try to pressure her. If I don't make the effort for it to happen when it does, it will never happen and that's not a marriage that I'm willing to be in

I kept expecting a question mark, then I was hoping for one. I was disappointed.

A girl at work who I chat to plays with her hair as we’re talking and has done for weeks, she doesn't appear nervous or shy and maintains eye contact, she posted a picture of herself on facebook, which I messaged her saying she looks stunning so she gets the hint, the next time I saw her at work a few days later the hair playing turned into flipping her back both sides over her shoulders and tucking it behind her ears, then later she told me my aftershave smelt nice. we was chatting about people cheating and she happened to tell me her 2 exs both cheated on her and one played her off for another girl a few years back so she doesn't really bother with relationships anymore, as men always say there different but they aren't. I'm being moved jobs to a bigger city about 40 minutes away, i bumped into her at work and we chatted, she walked off, then came back downa few minutes later asking when do I leave and can they make me or sack me if I don't. I bumped into her outside of work so took the opportunity to offer her out on a date, she didn't' really know how to take it, then said she wasn't sure when she would get time what with kids, then pointed to what her kids was doing and started giggling, although i know shes been out a few weekends since I felt awkward seeing her at work again so apologised for putting her on the spot, she said its fine honestly, and appeared the exact same, as we started chatting she started flicking her hair back again and tucking her hair her ears like she did before I asked her out.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good advice, and it’s also factually wrong. Even as a man, I sometimes need more than a few minutes to get into it. Women often need longer time. And when they aren’t in the mood, they aren’t in the mood. The last thing you want to do then is coerce her into sex or try to tell her that she is supposed to reciprocate just because the Bible advises it. Maybe that’s because she feels that would necessarily lead to sex, which she isn’t in the mood for. It is possible that the support she needs is you lowering the pressure to have sex.