All Activity

Were you severely malnourished as a child or something? This is very unlikely related to diet. It's your genetics and nothing that more iron or B12 could have solved. This tells me you are not educated about where real malnurtition usually stems from in our modern diets. Not that many children are vegans and certainly there aren't enough to create an entire generation of people lacking essential vitamins and minerals. Your anger about this specific topic is completely misguided and woefully uninformed.

I’m hoping to just get some people’s thoughts on a series of related scenarios that have happened recently. I’m unsure how to feel about them. Last week I went on a trip and got very sick. My boyfriend didn’t come with me. He stayed home. He told me he would make sure the house was clean when I got home so I wouldn’t have to do anything. This was really sweet as I didn’t think I would be able to come home and clean the whole house while still recovering. As I’m writing this I still don’t feel recovered all the way. So, he picks me up from the airport and we go home. I’m drained and just want to lay down but I quickly unpack my stuff. As I do I notice there are several things (about half the tasks) that got missed when he cleaned. He got a little upset that I started cleaning but it needed to be done. We both started our work weeks the next day. I usually make lists for the cleaning but it was obvious stuff and we’ve lived together for over two years. I was a little frustrated he couldn’t have referenced an old checklist after telling me he would make sure I didn’t have to do anything and I could just rest. I spend most of the rest of that day and the next two evenings after work sleeping I could not stay awake. By the third da, Wednesday I was feeling better enough to ease back into going to the gym with my mom and eat when I got home. I told my boyfriend this. My boyfriend usually plays video games while my mom and I are at the gym. I detest being home while he does this, the way he and his friends behave when they play, the things they say make me feel really uncomfortable. He know this and all I ask from him is that he play while I’m away (which he and his friends did the whole time I was gone) and that they plan ahead so I can make plans to be out of the house. On this night before I left for the gym I told him I would be home at 7ish. I try to do this to give him time to get off the video game before I get home. While at the gym I missed a text from him asking if he could play games with a friend. When I got home exhausted and looking forward to a meal for the first time in 5 days they were playing. He said it wouldn’t be much longer so I said good because I was hungry, exhausted, and having super bad period cramps. I offered to take our dogs on a walk while he and his friend finished. They finished an hour and a half later. I stayed out the whole time because although I was doubled over crying from the pain and exhaustion and it was cold it was still the far better option than being home while he plays games. It hurt my feelings though that he knew I wasn’t feeling good and wanted to come home but still played for another hour and a half after telling me it wouldn’t be much longer. Especially after they had spend many evenings over the last week playing. He’s done this before when I haven’t been sick and I’ve expressed how it is better if they can make plans ahead of time so I can make plans too. Maybe I’m overreacting? I just can’t help but feel if our roles were reversed I would have had a warm bowl of soup waiting when he got home from the gym and knowing he was still recovering I wouldn’t have even considered playing games with a friend. I would have wanted to eat with him, see how he’s doing, and take care of him. So, now I need people’s thoughts please and thank you.

My BMI is 24. Not overweight. The main issue is my jawline didn’t grow forward enough. I blame today’s diets. Vegans and these “animal rights” activists make me sick. They’re creating a malnourished generation because plants don’t provide the tools for proper bone development. No B12 or Iron.

You seem to have a very different take on this thread than the rest of us do. The whole thing was about us giving you advice and you ignoring all of it

Oh thank you so much for your response, I'll try to do something about it

Irrelevant

You're getting lost here--this is not a close debate. He was a controlling, arrogant, insulting jerk. Now, he may have some good qualities, but clearly he has taken his own viewpoint on food way too seriously and judgmentally. I got to tell you this--you really want to get to the point where you do NOT question yourself about this kind of abusive and controlling behavior. He was clearly wrong. If you can't see that, then you're in for a world of trouble. He's going to continue to try to control you, and you won't stop it because you're doubting yourself. Please, work on this!!!

I don't know... maybe I'm wrong, but he did ask me not to drink energy drinks...

if he's still abusing and harassing her in this manner, she should be going to the police.

if you stay in this relationship, i'd guarantee it is only going to get worse about what he wants to control in your life. taking something from you and throwing it in the trash is a high level of disrespect, and none of this is "to protect your health"

Thanks for the answer! We've taken a break from communication so far, he hasn't called for the third day, although before that he called every day at the same time because of the regulations at the military school.… I don't want to part with him, and I even think that it is possible to solve this situation and I can somehow influence the other person's attitude towards me, but at the same time I understand that I am wrong.

You are not the jerk. He, on the other hand, is a controlling a**h***. I’m sorry, but what your parents say is utter nonsense. You are a grown up person who can decide for herself what you drink and what you smoke. Nobody has the right to control your life, especially in such a freakishly rude manner. I hope you broke up with this guy.

My boyfriend threw away my energy drink without even saying hello, and I left. Now am I the jerk? Hi everyone. I need an outside perspective, because I can no longer tell who’s in the wrong. I have a boyfriend — let's call him Dima. We've been together for over a year. He's at a military academy, so we see each other rarely. I wait for him for weeks, sometimes months. Recently, he finally got a leave. I came to see him. I just wanted to hug him, see him, be near him. He didn't even say hello. The first thing he did was notice the can of energy drink in my hand. He asked, "Would you be upset if I threw it away?" — then snatched it from me and tossed it in the trash. I was shocked. I told him I felt hurt. He started lecturing me about how bad energy drinks are for my health, about how I don't listen to him (since before this, he had said he was against smoking and energy drinks. Even before we got together, I used to smoke and drink energy drinks — after he spoke up, I cut back on the drinks and quit smoking). Then he asked: "What's more important to you — me or the energy drink?" I told him his actions were disrespectful. That I'm not a child. That he shouldn't make decisions for me. He said I don't appreciate his care. I got upset and left. He followed me. He said: "Come on, admit it — that was a good throw, right? Even you trying to catch the can didn't mess up its trajectory." He was proud of himself. Later, he texted me that he needed to think, and then didn't call for two days. My parents said he was right. That he's looking out for my health, and that I'm acting like a spoiled child. I understand that energy drinks are bad for you. I know he's worried. I've already cut back on them. But I can't accept that a reunion I'd waited months for started with a thrown-away can instead of a hug. That he didn't even say hello. That his "care" feels like control. That day, I hadn't slept well and wanted to make the most of our time together — plus, I'd been waiting for him outside for an hour because I arrived a bit early, so I bought the energy drink. Now I don't know if I'm right. Maybe I really am the jerk who doesn't appreciate someone caring for her? Or did he cross a line?

My boyfriend threw away my energy drink without even saying hello, and I left. Now am I the jerk? Hi everyone. I need an outside perspective, because I can no longer tell who’s in the wrong. I have a boyfriend — let’s call him Dima. We’ve been together for over a year. He’s at a military academy, so we see each other rarely. I wait for him for weeks, sometimes months. Lately, I’ve been dealing with severe apathy and anxiety. I’m on antidepressants. Recently, he finally got a leave. I came to see him. I just wanted to hug him, see him, be near him. He didn’t even say hello. The first thing he did was notice the can of energy drink in my hand. He asked, “Would you be upset if I threw it away?” — then snatched it from me and tossed it in the trash. I was shocked. I told him I felt hurt. He started lecturing me about how bad energy drinks are for my health, how I don’t listen to him. Then he asked: “Me or the energy drink?” I told him his actions were disrespectful. That I’m not a child. That he shouldn’t make decisions for me. He said I don’t appreciate his care. I got upset and left. He followed me. He said: “Come on, admit it — that was a good throw, right? Even you trying to catch the can didn’t mess up its trajectory.” He was proud of himself. Later, he texted me that he needed to think, and then didn’t call for two days. My parents said he was right. That he’s looking out for my health, and that I’m acting like a spoiled child. I understand that energy drinks are bad for you. I know he’s worried. I’ve already cut back on them. But I can’t accept that a reunion I’d waited months for started with a thrown-away can instead of a hug. That he didn’t even say hello. That his “care” feels like control. That day, I hadn’t slept well and wanted to make the most of our time together — plus, I’d been waiting for him outside for an hour because I arrived a bit early, so I bought the energy drink. Now I don’t know if I’m right. Maybe I really am the jerk who doesn’t appreciate someone caring for her? Or did he cross a line?

In all honesty, i never thought she could do this, ever, but now she has, its becoming unforgivable, no matter how much i love her right now, bottom line is, theres literally nothing i can do anymore, ive been the best boyfriend i can, treat her the best i can so i know none of this is about me. Shes broken

I know it's difficult to consider it now, but I would urge you to rethink a future with her regardless. She is showing you how much respect she has for you and your feelings. She is someone who will turn and run and refuse to communicate. People like this make horrible partners and I can nearly guarantee you she would do it again.

Its awful the way she has handled this and its pure mental tortue, the longer her silence goes on the more ill resent her, im still fresh in a sense of hurting so my emotions are all over. If it is the ex that has caused all this then we wont have a future until shes fully away from him, i know that now. Im just doing all i can to push through each day, missing her lots and it hurts lots, but i have got rid of all my socials etc so i dont have to see her

As difficult as these thoughts are, keep them in mind if she pops back up again. Remember how she treated you here and how poorly she handled all of this. It's a miserable to way to treat someone, let alone the man she's been datinf for 3 years. She isn't your future. It will take time to heal and accept, but this is your cue that she is not the one for you.

Agree, and she never accross as a person that could just cut me off like that. My mind is mess at the min, i get thoughts like does she even miss me, love me, is she struggling to eat and sleep like me.. Just wish these thoughts would go away.

Yes, that is understandable. It was a big shock to your system and the way she has handled it is terrible. It says a lot about her.

That thought has crossed my mind about her going back, i just highly doubt it, but i could be wrong. She has told me many times that once her daughter is old enough she no longer has to speak to him, i once told her that if he ever moves to where she lives then it will ruin us, she said it wont. And yes, those are red flags, i just ignored them because i thought things with me and her would just click and we would live happily ever after. In reality i do believe all this is something to do with the ex and not theres someone else or she has fallen out of love, theres not much i can do now, i gave all i can, treat her the best i can, and if she chooses to live in fear and control then its her choice, that doesnt stop the hurt or me missing her, what i thought we had was real. Venting all this is also kinda helping too Randomly i used google ai for insights, basically put all hers and our story in, her texts to me, what shes posting, and it all comes down to something called vogal shutdown, probs spelt that wrong, and it all points to her ex, hectic 6 day per week work life etc. Again, theres nothing i can other than ride the pain, and i know it will last a long time

These are the red flags you missed. I don't know how you didn't see this as a major indicator that she wasn't available to be fully present as a healthy partner to you, to be very honest. She's still far too enmeshed with this man and always has been. The fact that there is no formal marriage to dissolve yet she continues to allow him in her life like this is even worse. She could much more easily (logisitically) keep him away from her given they don't need to go through an actual divorce - yet she isn't doing that. Yet she is very attached to him. If she weren't, he wouldn't be able to cause this much emotional turmoil in her life. And given that she was never married to this man, you two could have moved well beyond the "joking" stage by now and moved closer to that sort of commitment. But it doesn't seem you had. If you're still only joking and laughing about marriage after 3 years and haven't had more concrete or serious discussions about it, it's usually because one or both parties is not convinced it's right for them. My guess in this case is that it was her holding back, not you. She is too wrapped up and not at all healed from her ex. Please brace yourself to hear news you didn't want to hear about them. I have a bad feeling you might hear that she's decided to give that another chance.

Ive never really seen many red flags, well regarding how she treat me, always kind, loving, affectionate, but when we werent together she was controlled, the amount of times sgw has rang me crying because of what hes said or done, shes told me a million times she doesnt love him, hes even tried to get her to live with him recently, saying she can stop in the daughters room, she point blank refused, she hates him, shes shown me everything he messages so i really dont know. On the flip side it feels like shes instantly stopped loving me, and that hurts so much, left without answers, nothing to me makes sense in my head. I can only leave her alone and try move forward, its just so hard, will she contact me ever again, i dont know, but that hope needs to disappear, and quickly. Nothing feels real right now, apart from the hurt. Edit, they werent ever married, just together for 20 years, we both laughed and joked about marriage and kids many times because its what we both wanted in the end

And quite possibly also because she isn't really ready to let go of him, either. He can be toxic and awful but she still remains married to him. That is a serious red flag. She doesn't appear to have made any real move to formally end the marriage and my sense is that it's not just due to her fear of backlash from him. I very much suspect she isn't emotionally ready to admit the marriage is over and maybe is still holding out hope that he will change. I agree with the others that I am surprised this relationship lasted 3 years. She has not treated you well here at all, that is true. But it sounds as though you need to do some reflecting about how many red flags about her you've been minimizing.

You are probably right, but being left like this isnt nice on me, not knowing anything and just shut out like i dont matter, i dont believe for a minute she would intentionally hurt me or ghost me but its what she is doing, and theres nothing i can do apart from somehow just get through this, 3 and half weeks since her last phonr call, which wehad daily for 3 years and niw nothing, it doesnt feel normal and im still expecting her fo ring, just wished it would all go away so i can actually function