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WHY are you still saying stuff like this about the stranger you spent two days with, and why are you still drawing such strong connections between him and your ex?? This is super unhealthy and delusional. This man you had a short lived fling with has nothing to do with your ex and is not a way for you to connect with your ex. You seem to be repeating the same things over and over, rather than really taking in the good advice you're getting here.
- Today
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Reading this turned me into a puddle of tears. My ex didn’t do drugs but this persons energy reminded me so much of him. Very similar personalities. Very free spirited, extroverted, long hair, could talk to anyone. It was so uncanny and felt like for 2 days he was alive again and we got to hangout. I can’t dig my ex out of the grave and make him alive again; so for me even though short lived it felt like the closest thing to it. However, now knowing what this person has an entire spouse who is pregnant honestly just makes it more painful in that my ex would never do something like that. It was wishful thinking for me. It felt kindred though and to him I was just another girl to cheat on his spouse with. I hate that now I feel so jealous of his fiancé even still. Even knowing she likely doesn’t know about me because at least she still gets the person I’d kill to relive certain moments with that were similar to my ex. This has brought up so much. I wish I’d never crossed paths with this individual. I can’t even focus at work dealing with patients. I took today off because of everything this has stirred up. I just can’t believe it meant nothing.
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Vote for my parents for America's Favorite Couple
Mads posted a topic in Marriage and Life Partnerships
Hi friends! My parents are nominated for America's Favorite Couple. If you can take a few seconds to vote for them, I’d be so grateful. It’s completely free for 1 vote or you can donate to LA Foodbank to vote more than once! https://americasfavcouple.org/2025/the-reedys-2 All you need is a Facebook account! Please share with friends and family! You can read about their story on the voting page! -
Love interest acting distant what should i do?
Anonymous posted a topic in Long-Distance Relationships
So a month ago i met someone online and we started talking. At first it all started as platonic regular friends with some flirting initiated by them and reciprocated by me. We had many nights of deep conversations with each other that I feel like we both enjoyed since she would often initiate when we hung out and everything too. She went on a trip around a week and a half ago and during that trip we i guess really connected alot more. We texted each other significantly more and the conversations got alot more intimate as well. She also had this habit of just telling me what she was doing throughout the day no matter how irrelevant it was whether it was just the fact she picked up a hamburger or saw a kid doing a funny dance just basically anything. Then around 5 days ago I basically told her I really liked her and she said she liked me the same way before she initiated a 18+ text session. Note this wasn't anything quite particularly out of the ordinary for her because in general she was a very sexual person who often told me when she masturbated and alot of the flirting was on the significantly more sexual side. Now next two days were perfectly normal if anything much more coupley then before even though we both stated we'd stay friends cause we both had things we wanted to sort out first. We told each other we missed one another, we flirted more then before and so on. So this is where i guess I'm getting paranoid. so 3 days ago she got back from her trip and we were finally able to talk again in voice (she had bad wifi on the cruise). The call was great, filled lots of laughs and we were having fun like usual. We were asking each other questions, bantering etc and it was all really fun again as per usual maybe even more so cause it was the first time we've talked in voice in over a week. While i was answering some of the questions though I accidently said "this is why I love you so much". She just sorta chuckled a little when i said it but I know from what she described before that she really doesnt like it when people say it early. I apologized for it and said it sorta slipped out and she reassured me it was fine. So i took her word for it in the moment but there was always a lingering doubt in my mind. So this next part maybe im just being paranoid or what not, maybe it was just coincidence but it felt like she was friendly but more distant over last two days. We still talked at night like we usually do but she didn't really flirt. She also didn't really message me throughout the day and only responded when i messaged her, and it felt like she was alot more reserved with how she went about talking about her day. Also normally when i messaged her "I'll miss you" she'll reply back with it too or at least react with heart emoji but she didn't really say that either. We still had our late night call that day and during it she was still friendly, we still chatted but she was alot more reserved with the flirting and banter to the point where it basically felt like there was none. A day ago it felt even worse since we ended up skipping out on our usual late night talks. when i asked her to hang out as well she initially said she was busy and we'd do so later in the day when she was done her business but it just never ended up happening. Maybe this is because she came back from her trip or maybe she just been busy catching up with her other online friends but idk. So i guess the main thing I was wondering is, should I give this more time before I say anything? Should I approach them and ask them about it? I'm someone who overthinks alot and this situation has honestly been driving me crazy. I would really appreciate any inputs or suggestions on what to do from here. -
Is he afraid that you'll become a bigger part of the dogs life than he is? That when the dog gets married it will want you to walk it down the aisle instead of him? Honestly, that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard, clearly her ex is unhinged and difficult to deal with, so maybe that's why she's kept you a secret, she's just avoiding dealing with the lunacy.
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My husband and I said we hated one another, and wanted a divorce tonight
Els replied to Kitty74's topic in Separation and Divorce
Why don't you think it's unhealthy? Generally speaking, couples decide on a budget together, and couples also help one another out without "payment". So if financeswere tight, for instance, you'd both agree together that you each only get to spend $100 a month on non-essential stuff. And you'd also help him out if he needed it without asking for $100! This dynamic feels very parent-child, like he's your father giving you $100 for helping with the house chores. That's unhealthy. Sorry, but I think all of these are luxuries, if there are bills that you are struggling to pay. Him being able to "use" the stuff you bought him doesn't make them "not luxuries". Material gifts for Father's Day are also a luxury, you could just visit your dad and help him out in the house or something, if money is tight. So essentially, I can see where your husband is coming from. But that doesn't mean that I support the way that he's expressing it - yelling, name-calling, etc should never be okay. Do you both have access to free or subsidized counseling (for financial management, and for alcoholism, and for mental health) where you live? -
Boyfriend cheating because he needs to feel like he's a bad person
MsJayne replied to Sindun's topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
Yes, I know what you should do in this situation. You should leave him to languish in his own self-obsessive stupidity and stop wasting your life hanging out with a loser.- 1 reply
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Why a guy want i makeout with his female friend in club?
MsJayne replied to prestere's topic in Friendship
It doesn't matter what his reasons are, he's a creep, and that's all you need to know. Find better friends. -
My husband and I said we hated one another, and wanted a divorce tonight
Kitty74 replied to Kitty74's topic in Separation and Divorce
Els, I appreciate your input, so thank you for that. First of all, when I stated that my husband paid me fory help, it isn't unhealthy for me, because he has a work at home business, and I work part-time in retail. Well I needed some money, and he told me if I help out that he would give me some extra money for myself. So, no I don't think that's unhealthy. Second of all, I didn't spend the money on "luxeries" I bout him a couple things he could use, and a new pair of jeans for my dad that I meant to give him on Father's Day, but forgot to buy. Yes, the keychain, was unneeded. I really don't pay as much towards the bills as I should, but Ionly make $13 an hour, and a only work 12 hours a week, so it's kind of hard. However, for the past couple of months I HAVE been applying for another job and even had an interview in which I'm still waiting to hear back from. Last of all, I NEVER drive drunk/buzzed. Yesterday was a huge mistake, and is part of why I turned around and went home. And Yes, I agree that we are in DIRE need of some non- biased intervention with our marriage and with our drinking. I know it is probably for the best, to separate because we treat each other horribly when we fight, and we both need to grow up, and it may sound crazy, but I don't want to. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment -
My husband and I said we hated one another, and wanted a divorce tonight
MsJayne replied to Kitty74's topic in Separation and Divorce
It sounds like separation might be a very good idea, for him. I can see why he gets angry at you for spending money on gifts, etc, when there are bills to be paid. Bills come first. I reiterate Els question, why is he paying you to help him with something if he's the breadwinner and is covering you for lifestyle expenses? Helping your partner with something is not a paying job, it's something you do because you love them. If this is true I think maybe I see the cause of his anger right there. You need to start contributing, especially being as you don't have children, you literally have nothing stopping you from working full-time and sharing financial responsibilities, (unless you're disabled in some way). It's interesting that you present your gift-buying as if you're performing some sort of charitable act when in fact it's just irresponsible. You say he's immature, but you don't sound very grown up yourself. Is it really that surprising that he gets angry when you try to tell him something he's done or said is bothering you? You sound more like a liability than a wife, and he sounds like he's had a gutful of carrying you. It's not the 1950's any more, women don't have to stay at home baking cookies and plumping the cushions, and expecting a partner to pay your way in life is so far out of line I'm surprised he's put up with 20 years of it. -
Boyfriend cheating because he needs to feel like he's a bad person
Sindun posted a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
Does anyone know what to do when your partner cheats because he wants / needs to feel like a piece of s***? I know it’s unresolved childhood trauma and I can’t force him to go to therapy. So I’ve left him. But I still care about him deeply and hope one day to be friends but at the moment that’s not possible – we tried for the past 3 months to be friends and I thought everything was great we were building honesty etc. (and I even suggested to him a few weeks ago that our friendship might be strong because we both see potential for something more and he said that was spot on), but he was lying to me again, pretending he was single and working on himself, but he was secretly seeing someone. -
My husband and I said we hated one another, and wanted a divorce tonight
Els replied to Kitty74's topic in Separation and Divorce
Huh? I'm just trying to wrap my head around this... do you feel like it's healthy/normal for your husband to be "paying you for help", or for you to be in a situation where you feel like you need to ask him to "pay you $100"? Is it true that you are both struggling with bills, and yet you immediately spent $100 on a bunch of luxuries? How exactly do you both handle your finances? If you're working and not "helping" with any bills, how does that work? He yelled names at you? You drove drunk?!?!? Both of you are in serious need of some growing up here. You also both sound like you need an intervention for alcoholism, and individual therapy to learn to manage your emotions. Honestly it sounds like separating isn't a bad idea at all. You're both behaving in incredibly toxic ways, and you both just egg each other on into more and more unhealthy behaviour. Good luck. -
My husband and I said we hated one another, and wanted a divorce tonight
Kitty74 replied to Kitty74's topic in Separation and Divorce
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Mark, my best friend is a woman with people pleasing tendencies. She kept her relationship with the person she ended up marrying a secret for a long time. She avoided telling her family until they were basically engaged. It wasn't because she was wanting to hide anything or was up to something. She just knew her mother was the type to find fault with everything and everyone and was likely to say or do something upsetting. She wanted to avoid the drama as long as possible and keep the peace. There could be a lot of reasons for this sitution and they could very well be innocent. It might simple be to avoid causing waves and not have to deal with any uncomfortable tension. You are the one who knows her best, so trust your judgement and the kind of person she has shown herself to be this entire time. Hopefully you are nearing the end of this and things can begin to settle down. Wishing you well and let us know if you need anything else.
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Getting Tons of Attention on app – Genuine Connections or Just Curiosity?
ShySoul replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
Don't have experience with this app in particular, but from what I know of most apps, it is best to be cautious. Scams, bots, people just wanting causual hookups (many won't read the profile or will ignore it), people just messaging as many people as possible to increase there odds, the idea of the "exotic" woman... there are all kinds of reasons people might respond. And sadly as a female you are more likely to get those responses. If you want to use the app, or any of them, take your time. It might take many responses that go nowhere or disappear quickly when they realize they won't get the quick thing they wanted. But a genuine person will not rush or pressure you for anything. Sincere people will focus on getting to know you. It's hard to say exactly, but I think there is this gut feeling that you get. You are comfortable just talking to them and things progress naturally at whatever pace is comfortable for the two of you. Do what you think is right for you. If you want to use it just to meet people of different cultures, it's worth a try. Just be careful and don't give out personal information. Use common sense and be patient to weed out the scams or inappropriate people. You seem to have an idea of what is acceptable and not acceptable for you, so stick to it. Likewise, if it begins to feel like it's not worth the effort, stop. Pursue whatever method of meeting people makes you happy and you enjoy the most. When it stops being fun, probably the sign to stop doing it. Good luck. -
Why a guy want i makeout with his female friend in club?
ShySoul replied to prestere's topic in Friendship
Is this something you want? Or is this your friends idea and you are confused by it, not wanting to go along with it? There are some people who are into the idea of sharing their partner. "Hot wife", "cuckold," "polyamory".... there are people who enjoy anything you can think of. If you are into it, you don't need an explanation. If you aren't into it, you'll never fully understand. These other people are not in your relationship. What they want isn't important. What counts is what you and your partner want. If these ideas don't sound appealing to both of you, then don't get involved with it. In the end, she is her own person and deserves the respect of having her own say in things. She deserves to be treated as an individual and not something to be passed around or hit on. You are probably best ignoring whatever your friends are offering and concentrating on being with your partner, fully enjoying what the two of you have without any outside interference. -
WTF dude? I understand you're trying to say "shouldn't she at least tell me she no longer wants to be with me if she's done"". But even having the phrase of 'eat a bullet' in your vocabulary for anything other than describing how you were held up at the convenience store is scary s***. I'm also concerned that you've mentioned a few times that she's aware you have trust issues. Are you aware this is not something that others should have to work around? Rather, it's on you to sort yourself out. I can't recommend therapy strongly enough to you. When you're there, please focus on 1. working through your abandonment issues 2. be open to considering if you contributed to any of the people in your life walking away from you, and what you could have done differently 3. learn to differentiate when you should speak up with a concern and when you talk yourself down 4. And please, please work on the language you're using so that you don't push others away. Because if you continue as you are, people WILL keep walking away
- Yesterday
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Why a guy want i makeout with his female friend in club?
basil67 replied to prestere's topic in Friendship
You're talking about her like you're brothers arguing over a single PlayStation! But she is not a toy. She is a human who gets to decide for herself if and who she may be interested in Stop marking your territory and give her the respect she deserves -
I know you can't understand how your words sound, but if someone told me to go be with another guy if I want, I'd actually consider that conversation to be a breakup. I can't see that any further conversation would be warranted. If you don't want to break up with her, reach out and apologise. And get yourself into therapy so that you can a)learn to deal with your abandonment issues and b) learn to not torpedo a new relationship because you felt a bit uncomfortable
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Getting Tons of Attention on app – Genuine Connections or Just Curiosity?
Sony12 replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
99% of the time messages from people overseas from where you are currently at are scams. -
^^ this. something seems weird about this whole thing. are you sure she isn't actually married and this isn't just an ex boyfriend? i mean listen, i can understand "safety" when it comes to exes, but the story sounds like theyve been broken up and i can't imagine that they are just going to gift her 100k out of the goodness of their hearts, and suddenly if she makes the wrong move that they will no longer give this 100k from the sale. that doesn't really make any sense. it would make sense if she is a co-owner of the mortgage and legally entitled to half of it. i'd just tread cautiously, as Expat said it just seems like there's more background to this story that you aren't being told.
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Your "next option"?? Reckon you might be projecting a bit onto her here? And by "a bit" I mean "A LOT", by the way...
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100% This is where counselling will be really helpful OP. Exactly. Learn from this experience. Heal what needs to be healed from the past so that you can make better decisions in the future… that’s the bottom line.
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You are showing clear signs of trust issues and probably a bit of jealousy as well. Which is never an attractive quality when things are just starting out It's something that you need to figure out for yourself because even if you and this gal end things you will probably develop the same issues with the next gal.
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1 guy that is friend of my friend want i try makeout with his female friend in club. And other 2 friends of him try pick up her at same time.Why he want i try too?