All Activity

Well, in Reddit terminology, ESH (“everybody sucks here”). He shouldn’t have said that dumb thing about preferring girls who work out. On the other hand, seeing as your own interest in him was lukewarm at best, it’s hard to understand what exactly you wanted from him. Also, anyone who makes such sweeping generalizations about an entire gender for no good reason at all should be aware that this kind of thinking is a major turn-off.

May I ask why you'd even want to continue seeing someone who said such a thing to you? He's telling you that your body isn't his type. That was not kind of him and shows he lacks tact. There was no need to add that comment. Having said that, this was also not smart on your part: There is no way I would continue dating someone who did this, girl. You're not ready for another relationship if this is your headspace, and it's generally very off-putting to new guys. Also, how did your respond to this?:

Hey all. I want your help figuring this thing out. I was seeing a guy regularly for a month. We went on about nine or ten dates (or more like hangouts). We hung out quite often, at his place or driving in his car together. His ex had cheated on him and he had forgiven her, but they eventually broke up. He played the guitar, I sang, and we were planning to perform on the street together. There was almost no physical intimacy between us for seven dates, only during two of the last meetings at his place. He said he had previously been seeing a girl from Tinder for a month or so and realized it wasn’t right — that there was no “vibe” or something. He said she got pissed. He said he liked me, that I was pretty, and that he wanted to kiss me. I didn’t kiss him at that time. I initially saw him as a friend and wasn't that attracted to him but later on I became really into him. I wasn't initiating any physical contact though. He asked what this was leading to. He said he was unsure whether I was looking for friendship or more. He said “decide,” and “at worst our paths will part and I’ll stop trying in this way" (like grabbing my hand, cuddling, etc). He would offer me alcohol. He told me to think it over after confessing that he found me attractive. He said he "didn't know how to act" after his confession. Later, during one of our dates, we kissed passionately (he initiated it). I also stroked his hair and there was some intimacy between us. We hugged too but didn’t have sex. After that, he started rescheduling plans. In general, he would cancel quite a lot, either because of being sick or working on his game that he's creating, training etc. I often complained to him about my ex too much and even cried once. During the last date he didn’t kiss me, only hugged for hello and goodbye. He pulled back and didn't text me all day until the evening. Yesterday evening he messaged me and offered to drive over to bring me my hat I had left at his place. He wanted to talk. He said he didn’t feel the vibe with me, that I was pretty, that we both liked music, that I was talented but “you see we’re not texting each other.” He also said “a girl who goes to the gym and works out a lot is probably more my type" (I didn't really go to the gym). He said something about a lack of vibe and that we will both focus on finding someone for us. At the end, he said, “no hard feelings?” and hugged me. He didn’t even consider friendship. On his dating profile he claimed he was looking for something long or short-term. What happened here? I kinda want to text him for closure but I'm scared I'll make a fool of myself. Why say all that dumb sh.t and then pull this trash? Did he think I friendzoned him? Was he not that into me? I just wish at this point I could become gay, srsly. I hate men.

Hello. Im fresh out of a relationship and am at a bit of a loss. Im 22. My ex and i were childhood friends. Dated in teens. We were always close, but now that its over, i feel like i dont quite know how to approach new people, how to put myself out there for a restart. Im pretty sure ontop of that, im quite sure im cutting a big chunk of the pool out, cause i dont want kids. At all. No desire for it. This was the reason for me and my ex breaking up aswell. So yeah, id appreciate tips on how to restart. Maybe people who had similar experiences have something to share? Idk. Ill take any tips i can get. Thanks.

There is not enough here to guess if he is interested. Why don't you send him a message to say hello and try to start a conversation?

Either way, this is not a friendship I would ever consider revisiting.

You see yourself marrying him after three dates? Do you realize how utterly insane this is? I’m sorry, but you sound completely unhinged and out of touch with reality. Your readiness to get together and get married with the first person who’d be up for it is a huge turn-off and a major red flag. I think your issues go way beyond the dates with this man. Please consider seeing a therapist.

v We are both in our Mid 50’s. I met a man at a business function and thought he was attractive. Strictly professional. It turns out my friend actually knows him and told him I thought he was hot. He sent me a request to follow me on social media a few months later. He has liked recent pictures my friend has posted of me and her. I’m wondering if he may be interested.

You can't possibly know someone well enough after 3 dates to be saying you want to marry them. As a 25 year old adult, you should know this. You sound like you have some significant mental health issues. As soon as he sees signs of it, he is going to run for the hills. You need to worry less about rushing into marriage and more about working on yourself mentally and emotionally.

100% sure. Could've been the other way round at most, but he's just obsessed with the platonic "very deep" friendship while I'm more relaxed and, above all, I have changed because my life needs have changed.

Right, but this is pretty run-of-the-mill stuff for long and close friendships. I don't quite get what's particularly intense about it. Are you sure you didn't/ don't have stronger feelings for him than just a friend?

You need to get your mental health sorted before you will be ready for marriage and children.

if you want your answer on how he feels about you, then let him know that after three dates you want to marry him and have his children. he'll give you his answer.

Indeed. I'd partly blame popular culture for teaching the young that its always "love at first sight". "Getting out of the friend zone" with someone who has no romantic interest in you is another one.

Really, you know that you want to marry him and have kids with him after THREE dates? If you don't slow down you'll find yourself divorced and a single mother at 27.

My friend and her boyfriend became serious after 2 dates they are deeply in love with each other. I really like him and I want to marry him. I am ready to become a wife and have kids.

He makes way more than me, has a better car than me. He lives with his parents and they live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the whole state. I couldn’t afford to drop 30 bucks on an entree for him if I wanted to. He knows my financial situation and he understands. However, I see myself marrying him and the fact he is not texting me more than twice a day is making me go crazy. And making me think there’s another woman he’s focusing on??

I am on my phone every second due to work purposes. And when he is with me he texts people immediately so is he doing this on purpose?

That's the problem many young people have. They confuse attraction with love. Which is why a lot of people go for the same type of individual over and over again. It usually takes a certain amount of maturity to figure out the difference between the two and then it takes a little while longer after that to become ok with it merely being an attraction and not try to force a relationship onto it.

You can't be in love with someone after 3 dates. You can become infatuated or a bit obsessed, but thats a very different thing.

Yeah if the OP is truly that concerned about getting married and feeling like they are getting older then dating college age guys really isn't the best move as more times then not they aren't going to give her what she is looking for. Kind of like those ladies who always complain about guys being jerks but they constantly date the same type of guy over and over again and it ends up being that the problem really isn't the guy. It's the person choosing to date those types of guys.

Personal things. He opened up on his insecurities, etc. It was natural, we're talking about a longstanding friendship in which we shared trips, moments together and so on

Intimate in what way?

No, there wasn't. But we talked every day and sometimes our conversations were very open and intimate.

Just checked the OP’s previous threads and… yes. Also, the OP said this about a year ago: I’m 24 this year and I’m desperately looking for a husband. I am currently seeing a 19 year old but I’m not sure if he even wants a relationship. At this point I am ready to marry anyone who comes my way. I want a relationship and i’m getting old. I want a family. I’m broken because every other relationship failed, Im tired of being single. I fear I will be 30 and still on dating apps. OP, I hope you realize that this kind of thinking is going to repel any normal man. Nobody wants to feel pressured like that, especially into being with someone who’d literally “marry anyone who comes her way”.