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Ive got plenty of time to cancel the holiday, i need to have a better mindset too before i cancel, plus i honestly dont know whats actually happening, im trying to accept she doesnt want to be with me due to this silence, even though ive asked a couple of times to say if she doesnt want to be with me, she just doesnt answer or says shes overwhelmed, shut down etc, ive took day off work today beacuse its my 2nd day off in 41 days and im physically and mentally on zero, ive not had time to process anything and all ive done is over think

If it was me here's what I'd be doing: As you have already started, put all her stuff together in one out of the way place in preparation for eventually returning it but don't actually make plans to return it to her quite yet. Leave the burden to her, at least for now. Check cancelation rules for your impending holiday and think about going yourself especially if you've taken time off of work, and you can't get a refund. It might be just what you need. Spend some time at a gym you'd be amazed at what a good workout can do for your mental state and any anxiety you might be experiencing. If you're focusing on the "whys" then try to focus on other things rather than the circular non productive reasoning that naturally tends to happen in such situations.

Don't make any major decisions right away that don't have to be made. Let cool heads prevail.

Doesnt stop the hurt though lol, i think the pain is more of the fact that everything seemed normal so im just confused, but in my head it feels like she doesnt wanna be with me, hence why ive deleted everything and moved all her stuff, ive got lots of her clothes, passport,, and oyr holiday thats booked im not going to cancel it yet, i need a clear head

That's good, you're already at the regardless part and that's rapid progress.

Ive thought of many reasons lol, the only 1 thats sticking is the silence makes me thinks she doesnt wanna to be with me, regardless of why, and theres nothing i can do about it

I suggest you come up with 3 acceptable reasons and figure it's one of those and start the slow process of moving ahead without her. Here's a few to help get you started 1- She's got mental problems and it's obliterating any sense of rational thought and the pressure of a relationship, any relationship is too much to bear 2- She met another guy. It was sudden, unexpected but there he was and there you weren't 3- I can't think of a 3

I don’t see anything wrong in introducing the lady to his buddy. The weird part is his buddy asking him to come along on his date. I mean, they have already arranged the date. Your partner’s wingman role is done. Why on earth would his buddy want a third wheel during the date? And why would the woman agree to that?

Its really tough as there were zero signs of anything, im just hurting so bad and confused, ive no clue where i or we stand, if she is in a bad place or ghosting me, but i said my peace, ive deleted her number and all socials off my phone too, just, 3 years, gone, out of nowhere

Good. There will be tough moments. You may convince yourself you "only want the answers you deserve".

I have, i wont message again

This is where it got cringeworthy. Just stop.

I'm thinking this isn't about anything at all.

Indeed. I am in Europe too, and can't think of anywhere here where this would be normal or acceptable. This is not about culture at all.

Ive been with my gf for almost 3 years, both in our 40s too, our relationship has been amazing tbh, never had1 single argument, had 2 holidays abroad, 1 which was very recent. Due to us living over an hour apart and both working alot we didnt see each other as much as we would like, but we made it work, we had 2 to 3 phone calls per day, literally, for all the time we have been together. We got back off our holiday abroad around 6 weeks ago, it was amazing, i booked our 3rd too, which we was both excited about, anyway, for the next 3 weeks we spoke on the phone daily, everything mormal, as always, until 3 weeks ago, she rang as normal, our chat was normal, and her last words were 'ill ring u later, love you'.. Thats the last time ive heard her voice. Over the next week id text her a couple of times, stating im worried etc, she eventually got back to me saying she was overwhelmed, shut down, no time for anything or anyone, i text back but i never got a reply. A week later i text her again, thanking her for an amazing 3 years, but its too much for me, so can she say if she wants to be with me or not, i basically got the same reply, overwhelmed, shutdown etc, this happened before too and lasted 3 days, i text back asking if she loves me, but no reply. So 2 days ago i text again just saying i accept you dont want to be with me, i do love you and you know where i am, ive had no reply She hasnt removed me off any social medias or anything and does repost videos about shutting down and needs to be in silence. As i know her, this just isnt like her at all, i believe she would tell me if she wanted to end it, not ignore and ghost me. She does have a very hectic life at home, a controlling abusive ex wbo she was with for 20 years, we got together a year after she left him, he still controlls her too as they have kids together, she has a very demamding job, and is living back at her mothers which is not good. Im just so hurt and lost, 6 weeks ago we was holding hands and going out for meals on our holiday, and her last words were 'i love you'.. I think i just need advice

I didn’t think you were wrong as you were going off what I had shared. I think I just thought two adults should be able to work out what seemed to be minor communication issues. But everyone was right, it was much bigger than that. This would make sense if she wanted kids and I didn’t. But I do want kids, she’s just desperate due to her age, therefore, waiting till we are naturally in that position isn’t seen as a good option to her. I’m not going to lie, I’ve found it incredibly difficult to walk away from her, but I’ve finally realized she is just using me.

You can feel however you feel, but it seems your anger is misplaced. It's not up to you to manage the relationship between your daughters. They are adults now (it appears) and their relationship is theirs to mend, if and when they choose. Your best bet to is stay in your lane and let them navigate with without your interference.

Yeah, still weird. As a woman, I wouldn't want to hang out with a potential new guy ...and his buddy. Awkward.

My guy...come on. She doesn't like sex with you, is rude to you, and very clearly doesn't love you. Why else would she be there?

They worked together and ran the business together so obviously they are good friends. It probably wasn't an official date. He likely just asked if she'd like to get a drink and asked the OP's boyfriend if he'd like to come along.

I find it very weird that this grown man wanted his buddy to come along on a date. I am not sure you're getting the whole story there.

Sounds like your partner is a good wingman to his buddy. Would you have been more comfortable if both of you went on the date with them?

So basically you are saying you don't want your boyfriend to have female friends. He told this lady that he wasn't available and instead mentioned his friend to her. You might need to be a little more trusting. He easily could have gone out on a date with this woman but he didn't. It might of been nice for him to invite you along but if he thought you would complain about it I could see why he wouldn't.

You being angry about this is pointless. They are both adults and it's not your place to force YD to forgive her sister and accept her back into her life. It will happen whenever YD is ready. You just need to back off and let them live their lives.

Your younger daughter is under no obligation to forgive the older daughter. She may well do so, and it will be on her own timetable. Addiction disrupts the lives of everyone in a family. Everyone is scarred. Any kid in a family where another kid is an addict (or seriously disabled) will get far less time and energy and focus with the parents that the troubled kid will get. In other words, your younger daughter was likely neglected by you and your ex--and it's likely the case that she still feels neglected---here is mom asking her to hide her feelings and compromise for the addict. What do you think younger daughter has been doing all her life?! And me calling out neglect is not a criticism of you. Parents HAVE to be preoccupied with the addict. The addict is in danger of destroying their own life. Most likely younger daughter needs to work through anger at you and her father for neglecting her. It’s sometimes harder for young people to get angry at their parents. So she’s focusing on the sibling. But look, even now mom is being preoccupied with the wellbeing of the addict. Please stop trying to persuade the younger daughter to change her feelings. And do some reading. You sound like you don't understand the devastating effect those years of addiction had on your younger daughter.