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An individual counsellor who has experience with relationships/affairs.

I am looking at individual. It’s definitely not about him. I just was curious what kind deals with affairs and moving forward.

I would suggest that you find an individual counsellor. Counselling isn’t about him, it’s about you. Glad you have the resources to do this for yourself… best wishes.

I’ve never been to counseling, but I think this situation warrants one, as I am struggling more with this than any other previous break ups. Do you know what kind of counselor? Relationship? Marriage? I don’t know which direction to get the help.

This is usually how affairs end though… with a traumatic breakup. Discovery. Or, he simply decides to turn his attention back to his family and the affair partner is left out in the cold. Of course it hurts. What you are feeling is grief, and there are a lot of emotions associated with grief and the loss of an important relationship. Feel the feelings but don’t get stuck there, find something to keep your mind busy in a positive way… This too shall pass and you will be ok. Just don’t go back… find a counsellor if you can to do the work to figure out why you chose this for yourself, why you stayed so long in this relationship, and how you can begin to move forward to a better future for yourself… good luck.

It should be, but I’m also struggling hard. It went from everything be fine, to him basically hating me and cutting me off cold turkey. It was instant. I’m hurting so much.

While it may not feel like a blessing, that’s exactly what this is for you… this is your opportunity to go out and find the life that you are supposed to be living…

You opened this thread by saying you both did toxic things to each other, and you're now wondering why you weren't good enough? You're being very silly

Exactly. It's disappointing but I would not pursue this.

Yes when people are interested in you the way a go out on a date invitation implies they will find time no matter how busy they are.

By remembering that it was likely always going to end this way. You two were on borrowed time for years. It's time you stopped wasting your life on soneone who probably never had any real intention of making this into something real.

We won't be able to answer that. He just doesn't have those feelings for you. How much more of your life are you going to waste on this dead-end?

A girl had her boyfriend whom she was in love with. 2 months ago she had conflicts with him which resulted her love pour towards me at that time. We were having a good time, basically she wanted me to love her, we shared high intimacy. She also offered me to have sex (not did). Now bf come back. Last time we shared intimacy was 2 weeks ago after that i pulled away to make her chase. So 3 days ago she saw hickey mark on my neck. Today her guard was up and she was enjoying call with bf. Want to know if she will give me intimacy again & chase?

See, this is why at social events Im hardly ever noticed. If only it were easy to just relax even alone at an event with a drink in hand.

Are you seriously pondering the question why someone loves someone and doesn’t love someone else? There is no “why”. He loved other women and he doesn’t love you, period. These are feelings and they can’t be controlled. What you can control is your actions, your choices to be or not to be with someone. And your choice to still be with a man who doesn’t love you and doesn’t respect you is obviously a very poor choice. Instead of pondering why he feels or doesn’t feel this or that, cut off all ties with him and start working on your self esteem.

And if she wanted to talk with you, she'd take her headphones off. Smiling with keeping headphones on is a friendly acknowledgement - not an expression of interest

In this situation, it's because nobody is looking at us wondering what's going on. However, I think it will be noticed if you stay by yourself at social events.

His actions are that of a guy who doesn't have great social skills. I'd give it a miss

If your instincts are telling you that something is off about this guy, and you just don't like the vibe you're getting, then don't go on a date with him. Cancel it. And stop worrying about "not being a jerk." This guy is a complete stranger to you and you don't owe him anything. Just cancel the date, plain and simple, don't come up with some elaborate story, just keep it short and to the point.

One thing to take the pressure off as ExpatInItaly mentioned in the beginning is she may not even be single, and another is you may not even like her personality. When you see her, sitting or you happen to meet her at the hallway just smile and say excuse me, say hi to her then ask her name and how long she’s been a member, what her favorite exercises are, her motivations, what she likes to do for fun besides gymming, just don’t fire question after question after question after question like you’re a chief FBI interrogator at Quantico or something etc, make some several positive comments after her replies and hopefully she’s single and she’ll help you in the conversation as well, and don’t forget to ask for her number after or if you can exchange numbers if asking her is nerve wracking for you. Don’t worry about other people watching you because they’re too busy worrying about themselves.

Sorry, I’ve just been really lonely lately. I’m just overthinking the situation.

It won’t let me edit my post. For context, I absolutely did NOT send that text, but he’s adamant I did.

I’ll keep this brief and would appreciate support, not judgement. I’ve been in an affair with a MM for 9 years. We had a little argument (not unusual) and didn’t speak for a week. During that week, I got an anonymous text with his wife added to it, along with a blurry pic of us together. The wife messaged me and said she’s known about us for a long time. I didn’t deny it, but apologized for what it was worth. Fast forward a few days and my affair partner is accusing me of sending the anonymous text and says he’s no longer speaking to me anymore. I am both relieved and devastated at the same time. I wasn’t always buying his story that life at home was as bad as he claimed, but I turned a blind eye to the red flags as well. I want so much for him to reach out, but I also feel like NC can finally end this crazy life. How do I get through this?

Any person, male or female, who starts with the pet names when they don't even know you is someone to be wary of. It's over-familiar behaviour and is an early warning that the person doesn't respect boundaries and presents a fake persona, in a used-car-salesman kinda way. It's also very common for scammers to use pet names with potential victims because that way they don't have to keep remembering the names of all the women they have online contact with at the same time. Allowing a stranger access to your social media isn't a very smart thing to do, please think about this and the possible consequences, there's a lot of psychos out there. Just delete and block him, there's nothing jerky about doing that. However, if you were actually willing to have dinner with some random guy who hits up every girl on Instagram, that would be jerk behaviour. Don't entertain men who disrespect women, they don't deserve the company of females.

Yes, it's a soft rejection. She likes you, but not in "that" way. If a girl is attracted to you, even if she has a busy schedule, she'll make time for you.