All Activity

First of all, pulling away so that the other person chases you is an idiotic thing to do. No sane adult person is going to participate in such mind games. Second, hoping that something will come out from hooking up with a girl who offers sex to other men the moment she has trouble with a boyfriend is pointless. Third, if you got a hickey from another girl and displayed it to this one, it’s a 100% jerk move that it sure to repel any normal girl. Fourth, it looks like she’s back with her boyfriend, so there is no sense in pursuing her anyway.

Well, that was pretty stupid. Likewise for the hickey on your neck, I presume this was from a casual encounter, so why advertise that you've been hooking up with other females? Why would you behave like this towards a girl you supposedly like? If you ever want to find a decent, intelligent woman, grow up and stop trying to play mind games. Being a jerk is a great way to make women not chase. Not if she has any brains.

Of course there's a reason you're not being loved properly: it's what you are choosing for yourself. If you don't want to be a 'useless side piece type' you need to start making better decisions. Do you have a therapist? If not, I suggest you get one pronto. Honestly this whole situation is one of your own making

I just don’t know if I’m somehow unlovable or there’s a reason I get backburnered? All I know is this and many Saturday nights he’s taking me out for date sort of activities and it’s definitely not just casual sex… so I can’t be just like a useless side piece type

He wanted to hook up, which is fine, you wanted a bit more romance than that, which is also fine. You just didn't want the same thing, theres no amount of "showing" or "convincing" him or anything that will change that. The best way to find out if you're on the same page is to talk about it. If you are, then great. You then see if his actions line up with his statements. If not, you can just leave it there.

If they don't jump at the opportunity and make themselves available then it's a big fat NO.

Wow this guy must be great in the sac if all you women involved don't mind about his cheating and lying.

His intentions were pretty clear, he just wanted to hook up. been there done that.

OP I am really sorry it has come to this...no pun intended. IMO it's the bigger money that they keep offering her that is driving her to take on more physical roles. You can tell her, that she's over stepped the crucial boundaries you had in place, she lied, and refuse to listen to you...so what other choice did you have? You can't ever trust her again. That pretty much finishes this relationship. Sorry there was no happy ending.

An individual counsellor who has experience with relationships/affairs.

I am looking at individual. It’s definitely not about him. I just was curious what kind deals with affairs and moving forward.

I would suggest that you find an individual counsellor. Counselling isn’t about him, it’s about you. Glad you have the resources to do this for yourself… best wishes.

I’ve never been to counseling, but I think this situation warrants one, as I am struggling more with this than any other previous break ups. Do you know what kind of counselor? Relationship? Marriage? I don’t know which direction to get the help.

This is usually how affairs end though… with a traumatic breakup. Discovery. Or, he simply decides to turn his attention back to his family and the affair partner is left out in the cold. Of course it hurts. What you are feeling is grief, and there are a lot of emotions associated with grief and the loss of an important relationship. Feel the feelings but don’t get stuck there, find something to keep your mind busy in a positive way… This too shall pass and you will be ok. Just don’t go back… find a counsellor if you can to do the work to figure out why you chose this for yourself, why you stayed so long in this relationship, and how you can begin to move forward to a better future for yourself… good luck.

It should be, but I’m also struggling hard. It went from everything be fine, to him basically hating me and cutting me off cold turkey. It was instant. I’m hurting so much.

While it may not feel like a blessing, that’s exactly what this is for you… this is your opportunity to go out and find the life that you are supposed to be living…

You opened this thread by saying you both did toxic things to each other, and you're now wondering why you weren't good enough? You're being very silly

Exactly. It's disappointing but I would not pursue this.

Yes when people are interested in you the way a go out on a date invitation implies they will find time no matter how busy they are.

By remembering that it was likely always going to end this way. You two were on borrowed time for years. It's time you stopped wasting your life on soneone who probably never had any real intention of making this into something real.

We won't be able to answer that. He just doesn't have those feelings for you. How much more of your life are you going to waste on this dead-end?

A girl had her boyfriend whom she was in love with. 2 months ago she had conflicts with him which resulted her love pour towards me at that time. We were having a good time, basically she wanted me to love her, we shared high intimacy. She also offered me to have sex (not did). Now bf come back. Last time we shared intimacy was 2 weeks ago after that i pulled away to make her chase. So 3 days ago she saw hickey mark on my neck. Today her guard was up and she was enjoying call with bf. Want to know if she will give me intimacy again & chase?

See, this is why at social events Im hardly ever noticed. If only it were easy to just relax even alone at an event with a drink in hand.

Are you seriously pondering the question why someone loves someone and doesn’t love someone else? There is no “why”. He loved other women and he doesn’t love you, period. These are feelings and they can’t be controlled. What you can control is your actions, your choices to be or not to be with someone. And your choice to still be with a man who doesn’t love you and doesn’t respect you is obviously a very poor choice. Instead of pondering why he feels or doesn’t feel this or that, cut off all ties with him and start working on your self esteem.

And if she wanted to talk with you, she'd take her headphones off. Smiling with keeping headphones on is a friendly acknowledgement - not an expression of interest