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Yeah… I noticed that too. The OP keeps emphasizing that she was a “crazy broad” and that his relationship with her was almost nothing, “less than f*** buddies”. This seems to be like a serious downplaying of something that nevertheless appears to greatly occupy the OP’s mind.

What’s wrong is that you let a man who was married and involved in a relationship with another lover into your life, and even hoped to have a serious relationship with him. That is exactly what makes men unlikely to commit to you. You need to have self-respect and demand right away that the man be yours and only yours, not share him with other women. If he doesn’t want that, you should simply dump him instead of sticking around and hoping that he’ll change his mind.

Yes. There has to be just something wrong with me, given that we’ve had amazing chemistry and shared a lot for 7 years, yet he tells me he didn’t “love” me. My recent BF, who never had a relationship more than surface level, couldn’t tell me he loved me for almost a year & then it was only in signing a card. He’d disappear like 1 night a week, not even a single text till halfway thru next day, and even after I asked if he could at least shoot a quick “home safe” text, he didn’t, nor did I know where he was going out or the people accompanying etc. when I nicely, non confrontationally brought it up, he got all angry and attacked me then dumped me.

I would first want to know whether this hacker is being completely truthful or whether this is some sort of elaborate scam. If he's running any sort of IT security business it would be extremely unprofessional, and potentially dangerous, to expose his client. You need to discuss it with your husband so you can establish whether this invasion of privacy was actually instigated by him, and if it was, why on Earth he would do something so underhanded, and also why he hasn't paid the guy. If you've never given him reason to doubt your fidelity it's a very strange thing to do, and you need to find out the 'why' before you can decide how you feel about it and how you're going to respond. Discuss it with him ASAP, the longer you leave it the more weird it will be.

Is there a reason you wom't answer this question? Or this:

Why do you think their relationship is "sad?" Why do you think her current SO is "being treated like a schmuck?" It kinda seems like you're devaluing her here. Why?

No, I know her irl.

All of it is true. I just forgot to tell the part where I cussed her out. Yes, I cussed her out because I felt hurt by the fact that I thought she faked her love for money and yanked me around emotionally.

So she finally reached back out. Apperantly, the reason why she went ghost is because she was hurt when I told her to "do the world a favor and die." comment. I only said that because I felt hurt that she faked the relationship. But she made it clear that wasn't it, and that's why she's so hurt. That the comment I said was extremely vile and cruel. I asked her if that means she doesn't love me anymore and she said "If I didn't love you anymore, I'd tell you directly. I can use my big girl words." , but I know she's lying. No one can love someone after what I said.

Giving someone money is not a "love language". It's not normal in a relationship for one partner to treat the other partner like their personal ATM. Your whole relationship is strange and dysfunctional. She did you a favor by breaking up with you..... stay broken up and do some work on your self-esteem so you don't think that you need to pay someone to be in a relationship with you.

You've made some really bad decisions in this relationship, and if you stay with him despite how the relationship is dying a slow death, you're just continuing to make bad decisions. Yes a breakup may temporarily make you feel terrible or trigger depressive tendencies, but this is not a reason to stay with someone.

People have different reasons and you'll never know why if you don't answer. I guess that's the tricky part. I wouldn't say it's the hook that curiosity and our need for "closure" gets caught on because I've had several old BF's that I broke up with from my past reach out and I've responded. Not because I have had this deep-seated longing for them but it's a chance to catch up as mature adults and see how someone you once cared about turned out. Plus, I do enjoy the fact, if I'm being honest, ...that it's an ego boost. There, we can say it. It feels good to be remembered. It's a validation that you made an impression, that you mattered in someone's narrative. It's a little psychic nod that says, "Yep, you were a significant chapter." As long as they don't talk about our past relationship I'm okay with it. "How's your career?" "Seen any good movies?" "How's your family?"—with someone who has the maturity to keep it there. But you know, with absolute certainty, that a conversation with this woman will not stay in the safe, neutral present. How could it? Your entire shared history is a minefield of intense, unstable, and sexual energy. There is no platonic common ground to retreat to. The second you acknowledge her, you are acknowledging that past.

I've been on multiple dates with her in person.

You know it in your head, but your heart and your nervous system are still screaming for that "fix" which is the hope of the "good" version of her, the one you fell for. She is not the enemy; she's just a person acting out her own damaged script. The enemy is the part of you that would rather have the certainty of pain than the terrifying uncertainty of freedom. Cut the cord. It's not a thread of love you're holding onto; it's a leash. And you have the scissors. Use them. The reset begins the moment you choose you, and only you, for the first time in a very, very long time.

This has happened to me a few times over the years, with men from my past resurfacing out of the blue. In my experience, people who do this when they are in another relationship are usually just looking for some temporary attention. Maybe they've had an argument with the current partner, maybe the partner hasn't been so present, maybe they just always like imagining there's someone in their fan club...it usually isn't more than that.

Quite new to online dating and I'd matched up with someone who I thought had a good back and forth with. We'd been talking for a few days with pretty detailed replies and questions. The last exchange I replied to a question that they asked and asked my own, and was actually thinking of asking to meet depending on how the response went. However, it's now been a few days and I've not heard anything and am not really sure what to do. I'm aware these things happen with online dating so don't want to overthink it. Part of me thinks to just leave it and move on, but another part thinks it might be worth sending a follow up maybe asking of they wanted to meet for coffee? If it was just one message and nothing I would leave it, but it looked like it was genuine interest to me, but maybe I'm wrong. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks,

Where in her message does she say that she doesn’t love you and got a new boyfriend? On the contrary, she basically says that she love(d) you and that she is mad because you questioned her and allegedly told her some awful things. Did you? Did you really say, or imply, that she was a “piece of s***” and that she should “go die”? The whole narrative, which was very strange from the beginning, now takes a weird turn. Sorry, but which part of what you’ve told us is true and which is not?

Dating a person for one year means barely knowing that person. It usually takes several years to really get to know someone. Sometimes many years. I don’t want to be harsh but if you really think that sending sweet love letters means the person loves you, you must be exceptionally naive and gullible. Anyone can write sweet love letters. Love is expressed through actions much more than through words. And if you think that you need to give someone money so that they will love you, your self-esteem must be very low indeed.

This is why these forums can be tricky to navigate at times. Nothing I said was referring to your post. I had absolutely no issue with anything you said at all. My response to you was about others who posted before you.

I fell victim to crypto scam and lost all my life savings when I invested in cryptocurrencies and got into the wrong hands, i had $310,000 in BTC stolen from me. I was about to lose hope in life after hearing that it couldn’t be found or recovered, but fortunately I came across an article online about a recovery specialist called Wintech Security, and on how he has been helping people recover their lost funds via scam, I contacted them and did some work with them just to give it a try. I never thought it would be feasible, but to my greatest amazement, they were able to recover the money that was taken from me. I decided to share this with anyone who might require such a service. Regarding BTC recovery or money lost to scammers/Hacking services you can reach out to them on..: E-mail: Swintech2 (@) gmail com. Whats/App: 1 (448)238- (0817).

I just re-read your OP, where someone pretends to be her friend texting from the same phone. This is typical of scammers, they often play multiple characters. You will likely hear from her "friend" again. There's a show called Catfished on YT. They cover these sorts of cases. I get the feeling your self-esteem is pretty low, and if you realize you're being scammed, you might spiral. Please just be kind to yourself. Block her number and any other numbers that contact you regarding this relationship.

I don't want to mock or embarrass you, at all. Is this a person you hang out with in person, or does your relationship consist of texting and phone calls? You talk about "sending" her money, which implies you don't meet face-to-face. If this is an online relationship, there's a chance you don't know who you are talking to. This happened to a friend of mine who has autism, he is very sweet and vulnerable. If you have some sort of vulnerability when it comes to socializing, you might consider finding a trusted mentor who can help you avoid these sorts of situations. I wish you the best.

UPDATE: She sent me a message saying she doesn't love me and got a new boyfriend. She sent. “First of all, I kinda actually think it is funny that you say I replaced you like an object and that I do not need the money. Do you think that if I did not need the money I would not have gone almost an entire 24 hours without talking to you. Secondly, I am not about to keep trying to prove that I love you and I am not about to sit here listening to you tell me that I am a piece of s***, you telling me to go die just because I will not sit on my ass and talk to you all day. At the end of the day we are both grown adults. Since you really want to play this game, how about I start questioning your love for me because let us be honest, if you really loved me the way you claim to, earlier when I told you I was stressing and trying to figure things out, instead of bashing me for not talking to you, it would have been nice for once if someone could be thoroughly understanding about the fact that I am going through real life s***. And if you are going to help then help, but I am not going to keep begging anyone to help me. My point right there. One minute you do not mind helping me and then after I told you I might not be able to respond as much today because of the plans I had in place to get more money you still made it seem like I was ignoring you. It is like you fail to realize that I do not make hundreds of dollars by sitting on my phone all day. So in conclusion, you can question my love all you want, but I know my heart. It is like you do not want me to do things that confuse you, but then you turn around and do the same thing to me. So at this point I do not know but I do know I am not about to beg you for what I need.” I tried apologizing and no answer, which to me reads that she's done and found someone else.

It’s good that you realize that. Hopefully you won’t move together so soon with your next boyfriend, however wonderful he might seem in the beginning I also hope that you realize that most men have friends and hobbies, and I’ve never met a man who’d be okay with his girlfriend trying to interfere and control those. That’s a terrible reason to stay with someone. Just tell him exactly this, “I’m hesitant to break up with you because I know I will feel terrible and probably become depressive again”. He’ll break up with you on his own upon learning the truth. Think of it this way, he deserves to be with someone who respects his friendships and his hobbies. And you deserve to be with someone whom you really like.

Hmm, that's not a very good reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. Sounds like a co-dependent relationship. Maybe you need to organise yourself a counsellor or other therapist, someone who can give you the support you'll need to face up to the realities here and deal with the inevitable breakup. It would be better if it was you who ended it, because you're the one who's most unhappy by the sound of it, plus he sounds like a major drag. You think that things will go back to the way they were in the beginning, but they won't, it will just continue on, with him being a self-absorbed bore and you being discontented, resentful, and unsatisfied. Seriously, if you're the kind of girl who has some ambition and wants to do things with her life, don't wait for him to get off his a** and join you, you'll die waiting. By the time he grows up you could have travelled the world five times. You don't love this guy, you have an emotional dependence on him, there's a big, big difference. Time to be a big girl and take charge of your life, acknowledge the incompatibilities between you, acknowledge how rude and dismissive he is to you, and make a decision to get the negativity, (him), out of your life.