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So I ended up going out with this guy. This man has been begging me for a date so I decided to go. I canceled on him yesterday cause he was too last minute, when it came to the details. So i ended up going out with him tonight, I was about 15 min late which I apologized for. He comes down and walks me up, he’s constantly staring at me awkwardly/nervously? We get to the restaurant and he instantly goes to the bathroom, little weird but cool. Then he walks out the bathroom looks at me then walks back in to the bathroom ? Then two minutes go by and I feel someone tap me on the back and it’s him and he said “I’m still here just taking a call real quick”. At that point I should have walked out I stayed maybe two minutes longer. Then I get a text saying Sorry my cousin calling me with sum important I have to go get him right now I’m sorry, his bm just kicked him out Y’all this man left !!!! Didn’t come back in didn’t tell me face to face. He sent me a text and was outta there. I’m a beautiful woman, I know everyone isn’t going to be attracted to me. Yet I look just like my pictures, so I’m beating my self up thinking maybe he just didn’t think I was cute. Yet I’ve never seen anyone act like this it’s weird I’m appalled and in shock… He’s blocked Any advice?

How recent? I'd pull back and give her time. If you stop compensating for her lack of input, she can choose to step up to fill the gap when she's ready, or she won't. If she does not, there isn't anything to say. If she does, then you'll know she's been through a temporary bump in the road.

It definitely wouldn't be the first time. Does seem slightly odd that she had a detailed description of it even though she wasn't there. If her bf comes home and tells her about customers I would expect very brief second hand knowledge of the events. Not detailed descriptions about three way phone conversations and what not. If she is getting this detailed of accounts without actually being there it would almost have to be that she enjoys the story's and perhaps is even a part of them occasionally.

There are chat rooms, but chances are it's likely gonna be someone i'm meeting far away from where I live. I've tried my hand at dating sites, but my luck has been limited. All too often I get scammers. I'm open to recommendations if you know any.

Isn't there chat rooms, sites for this? What about events? I know where I live there is always something going on. When I come back from downtown I see them on the skytrain all dressed up...some fits are really cute...it looks like fun.

My question is...did this phone conversation actually happen?...I think it's all made up.

"I hate this place and all the people in it and I'm bitter and miserable but here I am anyway". Was there a question?

I'm done with this place, but I got an email saying that somebody has replied to something... I actually manged to get some great help elsewhere, of a reddit nudity forum, of all places, so given the complete lack of any real advice in this place, I thought I would share it. Who knows, maybe it helps somebody. LOL Put simply there's nothing wrong with my fiancés' outlook, nor the way she is raising our daughter. If anything it's healthier than my own uptight upbringing. It is in fact considered healthy and natural where they come from. Furthermore I have to respect that. However, respect has to be mutual, "boundaries" are important, and it's perfectly ok if MY boundaries are different to hers and theirs. I'd already laid out some "rules" which I guess were actually like boundaries, and so we have gone though and spelled out some more. I fully expect that our daughter will keep giving me cheek, and try to "end-run" around some of these. But we've addressed that too. Her need to be respectful, even when joking around. I'm extra happy with the approach, because it kinda reinforces that its ok to different rules. I'd love to explain more, but people will just accuse me of being a creep and getting off, so I'll just summarise. She's "OUR" daughter, I love her, and will do everything I can to support her. My comfort level says that the boundaries between Dads and Daughters is different to Mums and Daughters. So my fiancé can set hers, but I get to set mine, and around certain things they will be very different. Boundaries between Mum and Dad are completely different, and none of her business. She's my daughter, and can, if needed, seriously ask me about anything. But I can refer any appropriate question to her mother, and have already set certain boundaries, such that SOME questions go directly to the woman. Being open and honest, and being able to talk about serious subjects as a family, doesn't make them open-season for teasing and jokes. My boundaries put some things off limits. anyway, fingers crossed

Some questions to establish better context: How often do you meet in person? What are the problems wiht her ex? When is the next date planned? You said you have had international dates - what does this mean, that you two live in different countries and have traveled to each other?

I’ve been talking to someone for a few months now. We’ve had real connection—spent time together multiple dates (Local and international), physical closeness, opened up about personal stuff, and at one point things felt mutual and consistent. Recently, her situation got really heavy all at once (medical emergencies, family issues, problems ex , work stress) she is a medical professional a resident doctor. Since then, her energy dropped noticeably. She still replies when I message, her tone is still warm, and she shares small things about her day—but she doesn’t initiate anymore and conversations don’t really continue. There’s no clear rejection or cutoff, just low engagement and gaps. At the same time, she’s still somewhat active on social media. I’ve been trying to stay patient and not add pressure, but it’s starting to feel one-sided and uncertain. I’m not sure if this is just burnout/overwhelm on her end or if she’s slowly losing interest and just not saying it directly. How do you tell the difference between someone who’s overwhelmed vs. someone who’s fading out? And at what point do you stop waiting and step back?

Power struggles erode relationships, so I'd choose my battles. You get to decide how much your incompatibilities must bother you. You sound stringent. Most people are not much of a checklister on cleaning, and everyone's definition of 'good enough' is not the same. A choice to translate that into a personal insult is your own. Attempts to parent a grown adult can be dangerously dismal for both of you. Aside from being the most un-sexy way to snuff out desire inspired by equality, people treated as children tend to grow resentful and rebel. I'd also consider the value of extreme hand-wringing over the gaming that you'd force yourself out of the home to make your point of contention into such a degree of suffering. Is BF being tone deaf? Sure. But amplifying the issue by running yourself through your neighborhood instead of hunkering down and offering the guys a drink is the kind of overkill that can turn a mild problem into a crisis. Try throwing a noise-cancelling headset over earbuds or playing white noise. Understand, the outcome may be influenced by whether you're invested in the people around you having a good time, or whether you're preoccupied with viewing this as a crisis you're unable to control. If you truly love this man, I'd do what it takes to learn whether a need for control is driving resentment, or whether missing a few points on a cleaning list can be turned into a simple thank you without demonstrating a need to overcompensate and inflate that into a lack of concern for you. Decide whether you may be trying to find a reason to exit this relationship.

(Chuckles), nope. I myself just love Otaku culture. Good guess though.

Are you in Japan, OP? Cultural differences are an important factor to take into consideration here as well.

Interesting way of putting it.

Well, common interests are the context for meeting in the first place. For instance, if the mall is hosting an Anime event, then you'd have an opening for discussion about that, as opposed to just walking up to strangers shopping in a mall to introduce yourself. That's more likely to creep people out and make them defensive against whatever they think you're trying to sell, no matter what your voice sounds like. Pursue hobbies or causes that interest you, and you'll form friendships organically through that repeated exposure.

Possible. And yes this thread is indeed real. Just want to learn as much as I can. Introductions do play a role in whether or not someone would give someone else a shot. Not just what interests are compatible.

If this thread is real you would probably get better advice from other people who are big anime fans then those who aren't. A lot of times the people who are real big into anime have a lot different life interests and they aren't real compatible (nor understood) by people who aren't into anime.

If you want the surgery and can afford it then get it. You don't need anyone's approval. Do it for yourself and your self esteem. Don't do it to get more success at dating because you may be chocked that the surgery may change nothing in terms of dating. One advise: you are the way you are because of genetics. Stop blaming it on others and their nutrition. There are types of people that always accuse others for their issues, it's their mom's fault, the ex' fault, the government's fault, feminisim's fault. That attitude makes a person very unattractive no matter how square their jaw is.

What's wrong with your voice? Your voice is yours it's in your dna but maybe the problem is your tone? Your confidence?

More or less I moved to my own place back in 2022. As an Otaku with a fondage for anime I see alot of anime folks there so I swing by there every Saturday(where its most busy). I opened the topic since I think ones own voice means having yo discover how one plays towards his or her own strengths. I just down know how.

Going to the mall to make friends or ask people out on dates. Is this a thing?

You say you keep making the same mistake and you want to change that. But when you're in a situation where you're doing things the usual way and practically everyone advises you to do them differently, you stubbornly insist on doing things the same way. You know what, OP? When you really want to, you will follow folks advice and do things differently. For the present, you need to admit that part of the reason why you are where you are is because you consistently make the choice to be there. You make the choices you do because deep down inside, there's a part of you that wants to. You really need to own that.

Frankly speaking, it sounds like your partner and daughter were both exposed to inappropriate sexual behavior at very young ages. That would explain the lack of appropriate boundaries. What you're calling "relaxed" attitudes sounds to me like the aftermath of something like incest or child abuse.

My question is why did you keep coming back if you thought we were wrong? There's a common theme between continuing to get advice from those who you disagree with and staying with someone who you're incompatible with. It seems you don't know when to quit

You'll want to see a voice coach