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  2. I'm not saying I need 6 figures necessarily. I'm perfectly fine with 5 figures assuming it's on the higher end.
  3. living at home with your parents because you can't afford to live on your own and barely have experience for a better job.
  4. I meant to say I'm jealous of people who make that income. I don't make 5 figures.
  5. I've been working with a career counselor and have a therapist yes. But it's so hard to flip this mindset.
  6. I make 24 an hour and change. and I just assume the reddit up votes are representative of MOST women not all.
  7. Sugarspice25

    Breadcrumbs?

    Hi everyone, So met a guy in person at a coffee shop. He asked me to dinner, and I agreed. When the date came it was nice and easy going until he started to kinda rub on my thigh and kept touching my thigh ( I didnt say anything) when we finally kissed it was nice but the second kiss he used his tongue. After I told him he's too physical for a first meeting he said its not like were having sex. After the date he texted me a kiss emoji (that was Sunday):on Tuesday he checked in with me how's work but still no plan. Then Thursday he texts wyd I answer and he didnt ask m3 out. Friday same thing wyd. Saturday he texts me 12am saying.."Hey wyd. Im out but not for long lets connect tomorrow. " i left him on read. Today he texted me Hello, but i didnt answer yet. Why is he breadcrumbing me? What should I reply to him for this to stop. I do kinda like him. Hes 42 no children, never married but was almost engaged once. Im 28.
  8. Els

    Emotionless Spouse

    It sounds like her mother's medical issues are serious. She's obviously having a hard time coping with the thought of potentially losing her mother, in addition to the physical and mental stress of taking care of her mother. She's in survival mode and this is how she's dealing with it. Frankly if it's only been a few months I think you need to just deal with it too. This isn't how you would handle it, but SHE is the one with the very sick mother so she is going to have to cope however she can, even if you disagree with her methods. If you want to express your feelings during this time, talk to your therapist.
  9. No, absolutely not. I talk to lots of people in kink circles where polyamory is viewed as a valid lifestyle choice, and even then I have NEVER seen a relationship between a completely monogamous person and a polyamorous person end up well. And that's because polyamory and monogamy are mutually exclusive - you MUST pick one and only one of the two. So if they decide to be poly, the monogamous person is getting zero benefits from that, and only experiences jealousy and heartbreak, in addition to the logistical challenges involved in poly. If they decide to be monogamous, the poly person eventually ends up either leaving or cheating (for some reason they don't just sit around and suffer like the monogamous person tends to do, though - might be a personality thing). If you are monogamous you need a monogamous partner, period. This is not an aspect of a relationship that you can compromise on.
  10. You're only 34. Lots of people are still figuring things out. Social media is not real - I can guarantee you that every single one of the people you are envying has problems of their own. That being said, what are you doing to make things better for yourself? Are you getting help for the social media addiction? Do you have a career counselor at your university, can you talk to them?
  11. That's what I'm wondering which part is the dealbreaker OP refers to: a literal six-figure income, reasonable income but living with parents, or somethng else.
  12. I'm assuming its a guy in his 30s who isn't making big money. But again, why look at "women on Reddit" and assume this is a representation of all women? Yes, its positive for a man to have a good income, but it really isnt a good representation of your worth as a person. On the flipside, would you really want a woman who was only with you because you were making six figures a year? Aim to further your career and income yes, but because you want to improve yourself and your own lifestyle as an individual, not because you thing you need it to finally attract a partner.
  13. Social media isnt real. Its a highlight real of people's happiest moments. Nobody is going to post a story of them crying in bed alone and depressed even though this is something many many people go through. You're not alone but social media is very good at making people feel alone. Either get off it entirely if you can (the best option) or just take a step back and realise it isnt all that it seems.
  14. Decide whether you want your independent life and finances reduced to a dependency on one private client who calls all the shots. Decide whether you want to believe claims from a man who justifies his disloyalty to a woman who believed him when he stood in public and made vows to her.
  15. Sure you may. Just to clarity, I did ask about kids on the first date and told him I definitely wanted children in the future. I also mentioned marriage on the second or third date that I would like that at some point in my life. I did not think to ask him about an open relationship as I did not see that one coming.
  16. The best way to handle this would be to stop having sex with a married man. Do you have feelings for him? If you do, then tell him to divorce his wife, and then the two of you can take it from here. Just bear in mind that you should take his love confession with a grain of salt. It’s very easy for a 53 year old man living a sexless life to delude himself into believing that what he is feeling for a 23 year old women who sleeps with him is love. If don’t have feelings for him, don’t humiliate yourself and him by sleeping with him in exchange for gifts.
  17. First of all, please know that cheaters lie, so he is probably also lying to you about the true state of his marriage and the reasons for it. Second, understand that he is trying to manipulate you by paying your bills and buying you gifits. That's not about "love" for a guy like this. And why can you not pay your own bills? Haven't you got enough money? Third, girl, what are you doing with your life? You are young and in your prime. Surely you can attract better-quality men than this. You don't need to "handle" anything about hin saying he is in love. He is not available to actually date and he'd be a horrible candidate for a relationship anyway. It's time to get your values and prirorities straightened out.
  18. I've been seeing a married man for about a year now, and today he confessed that he is in love with me, and he wants me to quit my job as an exotic dancer. He is , according to him, being neglected sexually(nor does she cook so he eats fast food all of the time) by his wife who is an engineer after making several attempts to get his needs met in his marriage. He has also started being more romantic, paying my bills, buying me flowers, lingerie, and also spending the night with me at my place. He cooks for me when he is here. Today while he was over my place, he told me that he is in love with me. From the beginning, I told him that because he is married, all we can do is have sex (as I am clearly aware that most who indulge in extramarital affairs do not leave their marriage for their affair partner), & that my intent is not to blow up his marriage or cause any drama. They sleep in separate bedrooms & sex between them is non-existent. He is 53, & I am 23. As someone who put my cards on the table in the beginning (I'm single and am not currently looking for love), how should I hande him telling me that he has fallen in love with me? I was honest about what we would be the moment he told me he was married after we decided to see each one another.
  19. Maybe you should start by understanding that much of what you see on social media is an illusion. Checking some actual facts about how most people live might help get a clearer picture of it. For example, there are only a couple of countries in the whole world where the average annual income is low 6 figures. Which means that even in those countries, most people don’t make that much (since averages are skewed towards the higher numbers because there is always a tiny amount of people that are unimaginably rich). And we’re talking about abnormally rich countries like Monaco. In Burundi, average annual income is about 300$. Yes, three hundred dollars. Per year. Only a small percentage of people can afford travel. The majority of people on our planet stay in the same location and work very hard just to stay alive. Moving out? Try living in one house or even one room with several generations of your family. That’s how most people live. Grandparents, parents, a bunch of kids. Very few people can afford to live independently. As for happy relationships, I hope you don’t need to browse through statistics website to realize how absurd it is to assume that most people have them. Being in a genuinely happy relationship that lasts many years and doesn’t end in a break up is a very rare occasion. Most people in the world are stuck in relationships because they have to, due to religious and cultural prescriptions, social stigma, and financial considerations. Many of them didn’t even choose to be in those relationships. Those that have freedom to be with people they actually choose and leave whenever they want to struggle immensely and spend a lot of time and effort to find the right partner, which is anything but guaranteed. Their small chance of success decidedly depends on their mindset. Complaining about one’s own life and envying the lives of others is deeply unattractive. Start by counting your blessings and loving yourself and your life.
  20. Yesterday
  21. I appreciate your in depth response that goes beyond "call the help line" which wouldn't of been a bad suggestion either. and yea it's hard because I'm addicted to social media and can't stop focusing on all my peers who make close to 6 figures, moved out, have happy relationships and get to travel the world.
  22. May I ask why you didn't tell him what you wanted and expected for your future on the first, second or third date also? It's important to let them know early what you want as that could have saved you a lot of heartache.
  23. I understand feeling behind in life. I'm 32, nor married and only had one serious relationship that didnt work out. Im also in an industry that doesnt pay great and struggling to find my way in the employment sphere. What I find useful is to think of it this way: today is always the first day of the rest of your life. You could be an executive with 7 figures in the bank, a wife and a happy life and in the space of a few weeks or a few months your wife leaves you, your company goes bust and you are broke and starting at square one again, basically in the same place you find yourself now. I have met many such people. Life is not linear progress but thats the way people like to depict it to comfort themselves. Age gives us generic markers for where we "should" be at a certain point in your life but we are all so different and on different paths, and many of the people we think are ahead are struggling in their own ways. There is really no use limiting yourself because you feel you haven't done enough, the past is gone and the important thing to focus on is that you are here alive and kicking, today. Whether you are 14, 24, 34, or 74 the same still applies, you have to focus on living the rest of your life to the fullest, and there are still many doors open to you if you can bring yourself to pursue them
  24. I would dump him and go get tested. He will do it again.
  25. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through something incredibly similar, and I know that gut-wrenching feeling you’re describing - like someone kicked you in the stomach. It’s completely valid to feel betrayed, hurt, and confused right now. First, please know: you are not stupid. He made a choice to hide this from you, and that’s on him, not you. The fact that you trusted him doesn’t make you foolish - it makes you someone who was capable of loving fully. As for confronting him - you deserve honesty and answers. You have every right to tell him what you know and how you feel. Whether you heard it through his therapy session or not, the truth is the truth, and you deserve to process this openly with him. Here’s what helped me: I had to remember that someone else’s betrayal doesn’t define my worth. It took time, but I eventually realized that picking myself back up wasn’t about them - it was about me choosing myself. You deserve someone who chooses you too, consistently and honestly. Take the time you need to feel everything you’re feeling. And when you’re ready, trust that you have the strength to move forward, whatever that looks like for you. You’re going to get through this
  26. MarriageRealist

    Considering divorce, scared of losing time with kids

    Thank you
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