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- Past hour
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This is what i've been doing the past few days just a some minor touch points that dont require an actual response from her end. Just a simple goodmorning and reminders, i never really tried to open up about how shes feeling or where shes at emotionally since this happened. I dont want to add to her burden.
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Its been about 3-4 weeks at this point, but the total communication break down is like 1-2 weeks ago, at first she was still responsive and initiative now its been a few messages a day.
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We do meet atleast once a week before this all happened, I am unable to share such personal details. It was 3 weeks ago decided to cancel it coz of medical emergencies on her end. We have travelled together we both are from the same country but we are from different regions.
- Yesterday
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As a man, who has been in this situation, part of us go speechless, and have a Friends Joey confused look. The reasons are not always the same, however the results are. The man is playing life like a Poker game, or more accurately, the Stock Market. Keeping the money spread around in case one woman, I mean business goes South. Others do it as a part of sex addiction problem. The dopamine's at orgasm are difficult to go without.
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About to get married and found out my partner has never been attracted to me and has never enjoyed sex with me
ChrisTheCat replied to JohnGoober's topic in Getting Married
I think you need to give your head a wobble. I don't know what the immigration laws are in your country but in UK this set-up could get you into a whole pile of trouble. In UK if the Home Office suspects it is a "sham" marriage they will investigate you both - you could be fined and she could be deported. The best course of action you can take is to stop this right now and have nothing more to do with her. -
I had a falling out with the man I’m dating, should I try to fix things
ChrisTheCat replied to a topic in Dating
I was also wondering why he needed to go 'abroad' to have the surgery ? Where is 'abroad' in this instance? It seems a bit odd. -
He walked out 3 minutes into the date
ChrisTheCat replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
I had a lot of really weird experiences when I was on-line dating. I wish I'd had the nerve to walk out right away when I saw some of them ! -
I’m a PhD student (F29) with a male supervisor (M35)(not main supervisor). I’ve noticed recently that he keeps staring at me everytime he walks past my desk. He seems to be walking past my desk more frequently too, sometime walking by slowly and looking at me. We make eye contact a lot. He has approached me to simply ask “if you ever wanna chat we can always go for a coffee” I brushed him off a bit saying that I’m still early in my project and I don’t really have anything to update him on, as I assumed he meant he wanted a project update. However, he said I don’t have to have much to update but that if I just wanted to chat we could. He has then asked the same thing again on a different occasion. I emailed him recently to arrange a catch up about my project, which he agreed to. The email was typical of a supervisor/student, “hey, would you be available for a catch up next week?” although this was our first meeting as I have only recently started. One week after arranging this meeting, I was having lunch by myself and he walks in, looks at me for a moment, but with his eyes kind of narrowed like he’s thinking about something as he’s looking at me, I say hello, he does an awkward wave, waving his hand down by his side but doesn’t say hi. I think there may have been one other person in the lunch room. He gets a drink then heads back to the door. But before he leaves, he turns around and says “actually myname, I just wanted to ask if anything’s wrong, did something bad happen? I was taken aback and said no, I just wanted to give you an update on my project. He then seemed relieved and said he just wanted to know the “tone” of the meeting. Does this seem like an excuse to come up to me or was he checking to see if the meeting was to talk about something more personal? It seems very strange and I haven’t had this type of interaction with any other supervisor. Surely he wouldn’t need to check the tone of our meeting, of course it’s about my project, he’s my supervisor?! , what else would it be about, and if it were something bad I would have mentioned in the email. During the meeting he brought a water bottle, and had his phone propped up on the water bottle, and on the screen was picture of who I assume was him and his wife. It was an incredibly odd thing to do. Since then, he’s been looking at me, there was a moment where we locked eyes for a few seconds, but it was really odd, and felt very intense to the point I had to look away. Because of the eye contact and looks when we met for the meeting it was definitely awkward to begin with, I think we both definitely feel there is some tension. Sometimes he’ll come into his work area which is behind mine and just potter around for a minute before leaving, and I’ll catch him looking at me. About a month ago he sent an email as I was on my way into work, saying: Hoping you could help me out with a quick favour... would you please be able to take out the orange bin in my lab bay area? manager says it needs taking out for a visit (I must have missed the other day) and I'm WFH today and have no one else I can ask... I'd really owe you one! He has been WFH since sending the email. Sorry for the wall of text. I don’t have an interest in anything with this person, but for the sake of my career etc, I would like to know what, if anything is going on.
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He walked out 3 minutes into the date
Carlston replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
Was it a long time ago? -
He was likely just trying to think of a way to leave.
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He walked out 3 minutes into the date
Anonymous replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
Girl I blocked him as soon as he sent me that text right when he left. It’s weird cause he went straight to the bathroom looked at me then went back in? Then made a lap came behind me and tapped me??? The behavior is bizarre -
Residency alone is brutal, and she's got a family medical emergency and an ex causing problems stacked on top of that. A lot of things collapsing at once. Survival mode, basically. I've gone quiet on people I actually cared about when I was in a version of that , nothing as extreme, but I work a beauty counter and there are shifts where I've been "on" for eight solid hours, warm and present for every single person who walks up. By the time I get home I have nothing left. Not because I stopped caring, just genuinely empty. Initiating anything feels impossible when you're like that. The warm tone when she does reply actually matters. If she'd checked out emotionally you'd feel it differently. What I'd try is instead of a check-in that asks her to update you on where she's at emotionally, send something that doesn't need a response at all. Just a "thinking of you, no need to reply" kind of thing. It takes the pressure off without you disappearing. That's hard to do when you're anxious about what's happening between you, but it probably gives her the most room to actually come back when she has something left to give.
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He walked out 3 minutes into the date
Tia_minds replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
Don't reach out asking what happened. I know that's probably the impulse but it just gives him the chance to explain himself in a way that makes you feel like you owe him understanding, or ignore you entirely, which would feel worse. The shoulder tap and "I'm still here just taking a call real quick" thing... that reads like someone checking if you'd wait. And you did. And then he left anyway. I think about how much work goes into getting ready for a date when you actually want it to go well. Picking the outfit, doing your makeup twice because the first attempt felt wrong. You showed up, apologized for being fifteen minutes late, and he couldn't stay three minutes. He had been begging for this. If he texts you with an explanation, you can decide then whether it matters. But I wouldn't go looking for one. -
He walked out 3 minutes into the date
Anonymous replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
He has seen me in person before -
Also on top of not always giving up to date photos there are also people who don't give up to date ages. I often find myself saying when looking at photos of people that there are either a lot of people who don't age very well on these sites or they are lying about their age.
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^This. Some call it "Sit on your hands". Find other things to focus on. If there's no commitment then start browsing the dating sites. Or spend more time with friends or on hobbies or whatever, just not on her and don't rent her too much space in your head thinking about what's going on. But do NOT do this as some sort of manipulative ploy, you know when you ignore someone thinking they will miss you and want you more. That never works.
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He walked out 3 minutes into the date
Carlston replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
He clearly did not meet the woman he expected to meet. When I was online dating, it happened to me more often than not, although I didn't have the inclination to be so bold as to just leave, I'd sit it out for an hour or so, sometimes even paying for the promised dinner for a person who totally deceived me or deceived both of us into believing they looked the same as they did when their profile pictures were taken 10 or more years ago. I sort of like his style. -
He walked out 3 minutes into the date
Gebidozo replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
I think the entire process was cringeworthy, not just the date. Begging for a date is extremely unattractive. Neither of you should have agreed to have it. The cancelation of the first date certainly didn’t help, either. He must have been quite desperate to show up. It’s possible that he realized how sad it had been to beg for the date, made up some excuse, and disappeared. Overall, the entire vibe here is weird and unpleasant, from both of you. It’s therefore hard to understand what you’re worried about, the date had been pretty much doomed before it even started. -
It is strange however the whole thing was set up to be awkward from the very beginning when there were cancellations right from the get go. He likely was extremely on the fence about the situation because of that and unless you turned out to be exactly what he pictured you to be he was probably going to lose interest very quickly. In the future if you feel the need to cancel the first date without a legitimate personal life reason it's better to just call the whole thing off and wish each other best.
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He walked out 3 minutes into the date
ExpatInItaly replied to a topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
I suppose you met him online, is that right? If so, can you describe what you mean by begging you for a date? I would have been put off if a strange man I'd never met were doing so, but perhaps you can elaborate on this. It is definitely strange, yes. I think he was rude and didn't handle this well at all. I am glad you have blocked him. -
So I ended up going out with this guy. This man has been begging me for a date so I decided to go. I canceled on him yesterday cause he was too last minute, when it came to the details. So i ended up going out with him tonight, I was about 15 min late which I apologized for. He comes down and walks me up, he’s constantly staring at me awkwardly/nervously? We get to the restaurant and he instantly goes to the bathroom, little weird but cool. Then he walks out the bathroom looks at me then walks back in to the bathroom ? Then two minutes go by and I feel someone tap me on the back and it’s him and he said “I’m still here just taking a call real quick”. At that point I should have walked out I stayed maybe two minutes longer. Then I get a text saying Sorry my cousin calling me with sum important I have to go get him right now I’m sorry, his bm just kicked him out Y’all this man left !!!! Didn’t come back in didn’t tell me face to face. He sent me a text and was outta there. I’m a beautiful woman, I know everyone isn’t going to be attracted to me. Yet I look just like my pictures, so I’m beating my self up thinking maybe he just didn’t think I was cute. Yet I’ve never seen anyone act like this it’s weird I’m appalled and in shock… He’s blocked Any advice?
- Last week
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How recent? I'd pull back and give her time. If you stop compensating for her lack of input, she can choose to step up to fill the gap when she's ready, or she won't. If she does not, there isn't anything to say. If she does, then you'll know she's been through a temporary bump in the road.
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Partner acting as matchmaker/wingman
Sony12 replied to cnstx82's topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
It definitely wouldn't be the first time. Does seem slightly odd that she had a detailed description of it even though she wasn't there. If her bf comes home and tells her about customers I would expect very brief second hand knowledge of the events. Not detailed descriptions about three way phone conversations and what not. If she is getting this detailed of accounts without actually being there it would almost have to be that she enjoys the story's and perhaps is even a part of them occasionally. -
Any ideas on practicing what tone of voice to use based on one's own everyday voice?
Saga Not Saga replied to Saga Not Saga's topic in Dating
There are chat rooms, but chances are it's likely gonna be someone i'm meeting far away from where I live. I've tried my hand at dating sites, but my luck has been limited. All too often I get scammers. I'm open to recommendations if you know any. -
Any ideas on practicing what tone of voice to use based on one's own everyday voice?
smackie9 replied to Saga Not Saga's topic in Dating
Isn't there chat rooms, sites for this? What about events? I know where I live there is always something going on. When I come back from downtown I see them on the skytrain all dressed up...some fits are really cute...it looks like fun.
