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If she is going on a message board complaining about her boyfriend going out and being around other women chances are she complains about it in real life as well. The OP and her BF might not be a great match.

Exactly. It's just bizarre. My guess is that the boyfriend wants to get out and go for drinks more often, and claiming it's to help his buddy as a wingman is a convenient excuse. I don't necessarily think it's his own intention to meet women but I do wonder if he's missing that scene a little. Because if this were just a causal hang for drinks with his friend and this woman and not a date, why not invite your girlfriend to come along?

Again, and at the risk of being repetitive, we've all gone through this and feel the same. Well most of us. We don't marry the first person we meet, there are lots of relationships in between and they are usually ended by one person.

I definately feel like ive just been discarded, its not fair on me, i did everything i could and here i am, the 1 that has to suffer, what was hard for me was trusting another person after getting cheated on in 2012, she was the 1st person ive trusted, never once doubted her, and then this, i dont even know if ill be able to trust a woman again

It happens all the time. A person wants out and the formerly most important thing in their lives with whom they shared countless special occasions is thrown away like yesterday's news. She's probably hurting, feeling some loss, and possibly even doubting her decision but it's never as bad for the dumper as they control the situation.

Ive no clue, crazy to think the woman i trusted and fell inlove with, took on holidays, dates etc, hasnt even got the stomach to tell me its over, id even be happy at that, would hurt like but still its something, i got over a 3 year relationship before when i was younger, i was cheated on, now im older this 1 feels different, i thought she was the 1, guess not, im full of anger at the minute because it feels like she has literally ghosted me, knows its killing me and cant even say a word

You're not the first relationship partner to be dumped, and you won't be the last. We all get through it one way or another, some sooner, some later. It may help to think back to 3 years ago before you met her. You were ok then, you'll be ok again. It may also help to consider that even she might not know why her feelings changed, sometimes it just happens, people fall out of love. Or it's nothing to do with you whatsoever and she just can't deal with life in general let alone a relationship.

Ive thought that too, if she hadnt shared shared videos about shut downs, overwhelm etc then that could be 1 answer, i suppose ill never know, it literally could be anything and only her knows, the not removing me also plays a part, again that could mean anything, ive sent myself crazy thinking about everything, im trying to stop, its just hard

The exact circumstances and what was actually said and the context in which it was said is not clear, that much being said, it may have been more appropriate for your partner to invite you along. How was this all explained to you and was it after the fact?

This sort of thing happens all the time, sometimes it's much worse. It's "I love you and let's go shopping to wedding rings" to "I need space". People are fickle, they're selfish, they're dishonest, they're always looking out for number one before anyone else including their partner and if they have doubts they might not even be honest with themselves until they suddenly get to the point that the reality of what they don't want anymore is staring them right in the face. Be glad you don't have a house and kids with her. That happens all the time too.

Yup, especially after her last words on the phone, as far as i knew we was fine

You panicked because you suddenly experienced an unexpected and unexplained loss and realized you have no control over a person who (at least for the moment) has a lot of control over you.

Yup i agree, i just panicked cos all this is out of character for her, and i assumed the worst, as much as nothing adds up or makes sense theres nothing i can do, other than try move forward, no matter the reason for this silence, ive done way too much looking for answers, and i wont get any unless she decides to contact me

If all they were doing is going to get some drinks I could see why they would do it. It seems to be the OP's interpretation that it was an official date. In reality what people are more likely to do when they have only talked to someone for a few minutes is just ask to go get a drink. And in that instance inviting a friend along isn't that odd. Infact if conversations grow stale and they find out that they don't have anything in common him and his buddy can just chat with each other.

This is the worst thing a potential dumpee can do. First of all, it's weak and unattractive and if the dumper is on the fence it can be the fatal blow. Secondly, when a dumper looks back at how they acted when they were dumped it's going to do a real job on their self respect and closely related, their self esteem. You need to get to a place where you aren't so affected by a person you've known for 3 years that they're completely incapacitating you.

Ive got plenty of time to cancel the holiday, i need to have a better mindset too before i cancel, plus i honestly dont know whats actually happening, im trying to accept she doesnt want to be with me due to this silence, even though ive asked a couple of times to say if she doesnt want to be with me, she just doesnt answer or says shes overwhelmed, shut down etc, ive took day off work today beacuse its my 2nd day off in 41 days and im physically and mentally on zero, ive not had time to process anything and all ive done is over think

If it was me here's what I'd be doing: As you have already started, put all her stuff together in one out of the way place in preparation for eventually returning it but don't actually make plans to return it to her quite yet. Leave the burden to her, at least for now. Check cancelation rules for your impending holiday and think about going yourself especially if you've taken time off of work, and you can't get a refund. It might be just what you need. Spend some time at a gym you'd be amazed at what a good workout can do for your mental state and any anxiety you might be experiencing. If you're focusing on the "whys" then try to focus on other things rather than the circular non productive reasoning that naturally tends to happen in such situations.

Don't make any major decisions right away that don't have to be made. Let cool heads prevail.

Doesnt stop the hurt though lol, i think the pain is more of the fact that everything seemed normal so im just confused, but in my head it feels like she doesnt wanna be with me, hence why ive deleted everything and moved all her stuff, ive got lots of her clothes, passport,, and oyr holiday thats booked im not going to cancel it yet, i need a clear head

That's good, you're already at the regardless part and that's rapid progress.

Ive thought of many reasons lol, the only 1 thats sticking is the silence makes me thinks she doesnt wanna to be with me, regardless of why, and theres nothing i can do about it

I suggest you come up with 3 acceptable reasons and figure it's one of those and start the slow process of moving ahead without her. Here's a few to help get you started 1- She's got mental problems and it's obliterating any sense of rational thought and the pressure of a relationship, any relationship is too much to bear 2- She met another guy. It was sudden, unexpected but there he was and there you weren't 3- I can't think of a 3

I don’t see anything wrong in introducing the lady to his buddy. The weird part is his buddy asking him to come along on his date. I mean, they have already arranged the date. Your partner’s wingman role is done. Why on earth would his buddy want a third wheel during the date? And why would the woman agree to that?

Its really tough as there were zero signs of anything, im just hurting so bad and confused, ive no clue where i or we stand, if she is in a bad place or ghosting me, but i said my peace, ive deleted her number and all socials off my phone too, just, 3 years, gone, out of nowhere

Good. There will be tough moments. You may convince yourself you "only want the answers you deserve".