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Let me ask, are you an introvert yourself?

OP, you really need to distance yourself from this person and cultivate healthier friendships with other people and, possibly, start meeting and dating other women. This friendship will never be what you want it to be. I think that's obvious to you by now. But, beyond that, she is a lousy friend to you. She seems to be using you and to be taking you for granted. She doesn't value you as a potential boyfriend or even as a platonic friend. So this idea that you can maintain a close friendship with her is self-deception. If you don't particularly want to, you don't need to confront her or anything like that. Just keep yourself busy with other things and people and make yourself less available to her.

You are never going to get anywhere if you don't get honest with yourself.... this is BS. You are not fine just being friends with her. You want more than friendship and you've been clinging to false hopes that she will come around and something more than friendship will happen. If she was interested in that, it would have happened by now. You will keep getting hurt every time you see her date other guys.... and she definitely will. This girl is not your "friend." You need to walk away.

No, it is not your job to be there for her. Not when you have feelings for her and you've been hanging on to false hopes that something more than friendship may develop here, but she is very clearly not interested in you that way. You need to stop being friends with her. You've allowed this to go on way too long and you're putting yourself in a very pathetic position here. Find your self-respect and stop being this girl's doormat.

Yes, I am very familiar with how works permits function in the EU. I've been through the system and have secured permanent residency here now so I got many opportunities to wade through the bureuacracy of it all. It's a maze and actual work visas for member states are not that simple to obtain. It sounds like you may be describing ETIAS authorization and biiometrics with EES. That's why it's a bit concerning that neither you nor your now-ex didn't know that his family cannot simply void a visa. It sounds like you and they lack informaiton about how it all works and the legalities associated with it, which suggests this was not actually a well-planned move. That's what gave me a strange feeling: your potential lack of knowledge and his lack of transparency, and maybe promising you things he was never going to deliver.

I think you've been duped in more ways than one.

I think she knows that she is a human being. Personally, I find the line “I’ve seen you around occasionally” somewhat strange, especially when it’s literally the entire conversation. The first thing I’d do is introduce myself, then have some small talk.

Why the long other story when I asked if he filed for divorce yet? also a non answer to whether or not you looked for the divorce online through county records? There is no “impending divorce” if it hasn’t been filed. it looks like you are building a life with a married man.

I just wanted to make a good impression, that she was just a human being

No she didn't ignore me, but reciprocated kindly and shook her hand. I guess I wanted to make it brief because she was in the middle of a workout

A couple of years would have been quite early to become that deeply involved with each other’s families even if you were living close to each other and meeting regularly. For a long distance relationship, this is incredibly early. A LDR moves at a much slower pace than a normal relationship. One could even say that it barely moves at all. It takes at least years to really get to know and trust a person. It would require a lifetime to get to know a person in a LDR, and even that perhaps wouldn’t be enough. One of the most basic relationship tests is the trial period when a couple begins to live together. People show their true faces when you share their daily life and routines. That is impossible in a LDR, so that essential test can never be passed. In general, I’d highly advise you to avoid long distance relationships in the future.

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1. Yes, I already had applied, and although I'm unsure of my admittance, it wasn't something I was worried about because of my grades and performance / recommendations from undergrad. I've honestly considered still going if I am accepted, but it's the same town and I run a large risk of running into both him and the people I knew because of him and I'm not sure if that is something I could handle. I'm not worried about not making friends, however. If I wasn't accepted, and lived there, I would just continue with my work permit and possibly just return home until I found something more permanent there. Those options still gave me time to think about the future there. 2. I've considered doing this. If I don't hear back by the one week mark, I will.

That was an odd interaction. Did you not know what to say next....or did she just ignore you?

Sorry about your experience @risingthemoon. Just a couple of things from me: 1. What happens to your plans for graduate school? Had you already applied, been admitted, etc.? 2. Try to find out what (legal) options you have for getting compensated and having your belongings returned if he doesn't follow through on his commitment to return them and compensate you.

Like a human being

It was an incredibly bad idea to turn your whole life upside down for this man on the other side of the world who you weren't with in person. You never truly know a person if you aren't spending time with them in person consistently. And it's weird that his family was so enmeshed in your relationship. Just pick up the pieces and let this be a learning experience. Next time don't do long distance relationships.

And, I'm sorry but you probably won't.

I thought you said he already said he would send your things back to you. You told him you didn't want any money from him, and you also rejected his parents offer to compensate you for the trip. If you are broke, what were you thinking to tell them that you didn't want the money? If you go back and ask now you may not get it.

Update: I finally worked up the courage and approached her when she looked at me. All I did was introduce myself and said "ive seen you around occasionally". That's it, and went back to my workout

There isn’t supposed to be a visa in my passport for this type of permit. Some countries put a visa sticker in the passport, but others don’t. They approve the application first, and then you get the physical residence card after doing biometrics at the embassy. My case follows that normal system. It wasn’t processed by a third-party agency and nothing unusual has happened.

This still sounds odd to me. Do you mean a thid-party agency assisted with your visa application? And the visa is currently in your passport? I am focusing on this because I have a strange feeling about a couple things here.

Unfortunately, I have very expensive items that are probably arriving to his address this week and I need them to be returned. I was also promised that he would try and figure out how to provide me compensation for my financial losses, but that was last Saturday and I haven't heard anything about that since. I wonder if he is even going to go through with that.

one of the bigger questions here is, did you actually go on a romantic date, or is this just something you're idealizing in your head? because if YOU have different ideas than she did, and maybe she was there looking to meet men and not aware that you had this romantic crush on her, then she may be thinking it was weird you sat around waiting on her instead of trying to hook up with others.

Maybe "enmeshed" is not quite the correct word, but our families were comfortable with messaging us, facetiming, and checking in. While long distance, we would get together with each other's friends online and play games together pretty infrequently, but when together in person we would all hang out much more often. A couple of years feels natural to start becoming quite close with your boyfriend/girlfriend's family and friends, but maybe I'm wrong. It seemed very important to him that I meet his friends and got on with them. That is just one of the many reasons why none of this makes sense, why nobody in his circle has reached out to me to see how I'm doing (which is obviously not their responsibility but we were all fairly close), and I wonder what he told his parents and friends to make them even agree to just dump me without talking to me first, hours before I was to leave. They are all incredibly smart people that I respect, and it all seems so out of character for everyone involved.