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Haha I would say I'm more of an extrovert with introvert tendencies. I wouldn't worry so much about categorising everything by personality types though, we are all just people complex in our own ways. "Introvert/Extrovert" or "INTJ" or whatever labels you want to use doesn't give you much insight in reality.

Are you an extrovert or introvert? I should talk to guys too i keep forgetting

Right. The main thing is just to try and increase your social circle (not just talking to women). Don't worry so much about the outcome. It's no use keeping to yourself all the time wondering about what ifs.

Id rather say whatever comes to mind. In fact if she was in a certain corner of the gym id probably say "im usually there but you beat me to it" lol

I would say in general just try and be friendly and chat for a while. Also you mentioned you're on the spectrum. I would say just lean into the awkwardness and embrace being a little bit quirky. I've met guys on the spectrum who everyone liked because they were just having fun and being themselves and not forcing being "normal". It's fine if one or two interactions are a little bit awkward. You're learning, that's part of the process.

Maybe ill try that next time I see her. I did say "enjoy your workout" before I walked away

In answer the OP, the way to initiate small talk is to initiate small talk. Just do it. I think what you said to her is fine, but its going to be a bit off-putting if you then just walk away and go striaght back to your workout. You could ask a few followup questions like how long shes been coming, where shes from etc. Or you can may a joke like "Damn your biceps are better than mine! How'd you manage that?" Making people laugh is the best way to win them over, I find. If youre a little bit socially awkward as you mentioned, it can take away the edge and can come off as cute if you're relaxed about it.

I agree with the others. A "maybe later/too busy right now" is almost always a no in practice. But one thing I noticed is you said that youve been talking off an on for over a month! If she's super duper into you it may not matter, but if she thought you were cute and was on the fence thats enough time that the interest might fizzle. Next time Id say if you meet a nice girl and she seems interested don't wait for a month, ask her out on a date when you start chatting and use the momentum.

I hear ya. Maybe I shouldn't have said "I see you around occasionally". I just wanted to get over my fear is all despite my introversion. Even in large gatherings I tend to phase out and feel somewhat dizzy so I gotta keep drinking water lol

Oh, I think I’m the textbook definition of an introvert. I can get nearly physically ill from large social gatherings.

Let me ask, are you an introvert yourself?

OP, you really need to distance yourself from this person and cultivate healthier friendships with other people and, possibly, start meeting and dating other women. This friendship will never be what you want it to be. I think that's obvious to you by now. But, beyond that, she is a lousy friend to you. She seems to be using you and to be taking you for granted. She doesn't value you as a potential boyfriend or even as a platonic friend. So this idea that you can maintain a close friendship with her is self-deception. If you don't particularly want to, you don't need to confront her or anything like that. Just keep yourself busy with other things and people and make yourself less available to her.

You are never going to get anywhere if you don't get honest with yourself.... this is BS. You are not fine just being friends with her. You want more than friendship and you've been clinging to false hopes that she will come around and something more than friendship will happen. If she was interested in that, it would have happened by now. You will keep getting hurt every time you see her date other guys.... and she definitely will. This girl is not your "friend." You need to walk away.

No, it is not your job to be there for her. Not when you have feelings for her and you've been hanging on to false hopes that something more than friendship may develop here, but she is very clearly not interested in you that way. You need to stop being friends with her. You've allowed this to go on way too long and you're putting yourself in a very pathetic position here. Find your self-respect and stop being this girl's doormat.

Yes, I am very familiar with how works permits function in the EU. I've been through the system and have secured permanent residency here now so I got many opportunities to wade through the bureuacracy of it all. It's a maze and actual work visas for member states are not that simple to obtain. It sounds like you may be describing ETIAS authorization and biiometrics with EES. That's why it's a bit concerning that neither you nor your now-ex didn't know that his family cannot simply void a visa. It sounds like you and they lack informaiton about how it all works and the legalities associated with it, which suggests this was not actually a well-planned move. That's what gave me a strange feeling: your potential lack of knowledge and his lack of transparency, and maybe promising you things he was never going to deliver.

I think you've been duped in more ways than one.

I think she knows that she is a human being. Personally, I find the line “I’ve seen you around occasionally” somewhat strange, especially when it’s literally the entire conversation. The first thing I’d do is introduce myself, then have some small talk.

Why the long other story when I asked if he filed for divorce yet? also a non answer to whether or not you looked for the divorce online through county records? There is no “impending divorce” if it hasn’t been filed. it looks like you are building a life with a married man.

I just wanted to make a good impression, that she was just a human being

No she didn't ignore me, but reciprocated kindly and shook her hand. I guess I wanted to make it brief because she was in the middle of a workout

A couple of years would have been quite early to become that deeply involved with each other’s families even if you were living close to each other and meeting regularly. For a long distance relationship, this is incredibly early. A LDR moves at a much slower pace than a normal relationship. One could even say that it barely moves at all. It takes at least years to really get to know and trust a person. It would require a lifetime to get to know a person in a LDR, and even that perhaps wouldn’t be enough. One of the most basic relationship tests is the trial period when a couple begins to live together. People show their true faces when you share their daily life and routines. That is impossible in a LDR, so that essential test can never be passed. In general, I’d highly advise you to avoid long distance relationships in the future.

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1. Yes, I already had applied, and although I'm unsure of my admittance, it wasn't something I was worried about because of my grades and performance / recommendations from undergrad. I've honestly considered still going if I am accepted, but it's the same town and I run a large risk of running into both him and the people I knew because of him and I'm not sure if that is something I could handle. I'm not worried about not making friends, however. If I wasn't accepted, and lived there, I would just continue with my work permit and possibly just return home until I found something more permanent there. Those options still gave me time to think about the future there. 2. I've considered doing this. If I don't hear back by the one week mark, I will.

That was an odd interaction. Did you not know what to say next....or did she just ignore you?

Sorry about your experience @risingthemoon. Just a couple of things from me: 1. What happens to your plans for graduate school? Had you already applied, been admitted, etc.? 2. Try to find out what (legal) options you have for getting compensated and having your belongings returned if he doesn't follow through on his commitment to return them and compensate you.