All Activity

"Unhappy most of the time, even though the relationship was amazing" - that specific combination is so hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it. There's no clean problem to point at. The problem is almost that there isn't one, on paper. I've had smaller versions of that, where you keep waiting for yourself to catch up with the situation. Like you're supposed to feel lucky and mostly you just feel tired.

Three weeks in and there's already been a falling out. That's a lot, pretty fast. The qualities you listed are real and I understand why you want to try. I've been in early dating situations where I was mentally cataloguing someone's good points at exactly the moment I should've been paying more attention to how things felt when they got hard. The bedroom stuff at this stage is probably just nerves, genuinely. But how the falling out went, whether he got defensive or went cold or actually talked to you properly, that's the part I'd be paying more attention to than whether to fix it.

First of all, I apologize if I make any grammar errors. English is not my first language, I'll do my best. I was in a relationship, it lasted many years, but we grew apart and she decided to leave. After that I got depression. Now I'm feeling el better, but some days are rough. A couple of years later I started dating a girl. She was once one friend (probably my best friend, actually). It was so unexpected, it just happened. We dated for almost an year. She was amazing, fun, smart and we shared so many interests and hobbies. But something felt... Off. I felt unhappy most of the time, even tho our relationship was amazing. One day that feeling became unbearable and I broke up with her. I feel so guilty. I know she loved me so much...but for some reason I couldn't feel the same. I hurt her and she didn't deserve it. I miss her. I miss our conversations, her laugh, her jokes. I love her but I don't love her THAT way (does it makes sense?). I don't understand why I didn't fell in love with such an amazing woman. I'm not putting her on a pedestal, I'm 100% sure about what I'm saying. So now I'm trying to figure out what went wrong. As I said, I miss her...but contacting her would be selfish. I know I can't lover her the same way she did. I just can't accept the fact that she's not part of my life anymore.

Je suis toujours vierge J'ai 46 ans Je suis asexuel

I only saw this thread because it was bumped by the post above mine. It's astounding to me how an other man or other woman can ask if their marrired affair partner can be trusted because they're making eyes at yet another person. Do you really think you're any better than this person's chosen life partner or anyone else, and that this person who is so quick to cheat on their partner won't do it to you?

Well that's rather silly. You're posting on an anonymous forum under an anonymous user name to a bunch of random internet strangers trying to help you based on information you provide and you won't answer a simple question because it's too personal.

This is what i've been doing the past few days just a some minor touch points that dont require an actual response from her end. Just a simple goodmorning and reminders, i never really tried to open up about how shes feeling or where shes at emotionally since this happened. I dont want to add to her burden.

Its been about 3-4 weeks at this point, but the total communication break down is like 1-2 weeks ago, at first she was still responsive and initiative now its been a few messages a day.

We do meet atleast once a week before this all happened, I am unable to share such personal details. It was 3 weeks ago decided to cancel it coz of medical emergencies on her end. We have travelled together we both are from the same country but we are from different regions.

As a man, who has been in this situation, part of us go speechless, and have a Friends Joey confused look. The reasons are not always the same, however the results are. The man is playing life like a Poker game, or more accurately, the Stock Market. Keeping the money spread around in case one woman, I mean business goes South. Others do it as a part of sex addiction problem. The dopamine's at orgasm are difficult to go without.

I think you need to give your head a wobble. I don't know what the immigration laws are in your country but in UK this set-up could get you into a whole pile of trouble. In UK if the Home Office suspects it is a "sham" marriage they will investigate you both - you could be fined and she could be deported. The best course of action you can take is to stop this right now and have nothing more to do with her.

I was also wondering why he needed to go 'abroad' to have the surgery ? Where is 'abroad' in this instance? It seems a bit odd.

I had a lot of really weird experiences when I was on-line dating. I wish I'd had the nerve to walk out right away when I saw some of them !

I’m a PhD student (F29) with a male supervisor (M35)(not main supervisor). I’ve noticed recently that he keeps staring at me everytime he walks past my desk. He seems to be walking past my desk more frequently too, sometime walking by slowly and looking at me. We make eye contact a lot. He has approached me to simply ask “if you ever wanna chat we can always go for a coffee” I brushed him off a bit saying that I’m still early in my project and I don’t really have anything to update him on, as I assumed he meant he wanted a project update. However, he said I don’t have to have much to update but that if I just wanted to chat we could. He has then asked the same thing again on a different occasion. I emailed him recently to arrange a catch up about my project, which he agreed to. The email was typical of a supervisor/student, “hey, would you be available for a catch up next week?” although this was our first meeting as I have only recently started. One week after arranging this meeting, I was having lunch by myself and he walks in, looks at me for a moment, but with his eyes kind of narrowed like he’s thinking about something as he’s looking at me, I say hello, he does an awkward wave, waving his hand down by his side but doesn’t say hi. I think there may have been one other person in the lunch room. He gets a drink then heads back to the door. But before he leaves, he turns around and says “actually myname, I just wanted to ask if anything’s wrong, did something bad happen? I was taken aback and said no, I just wanted to give you an update on my project. He then seemed relieved and said he just wanted to know the “tone” of the meeting. Does this seem like an excuse to come up to me or was he checking to see if the meeting was to talk about something more personal? It seems very strange and I haven’t had this type of interaction with any other supervisor. Surely he wouldn’t need to check the tone of our meeting, of course it’s about my project, he’s my supervisor?! , what else would it be about, and if it were something bad I would have mentioned in the email. During the meeting he brought a water bottle, and had his phone propped up on the water bottle, and on the screen was picture of who I assume was him and his wife. It was an incredibly odd thing to do. Since then, he’s been looking at me, there was a moment where we locked eyes for a few seconds, but it was really odd, and felt very intense to the point I had to look away. Because of the eye contact and looks when we met for the meeting it was definitely awkward to begin with, I think we both definitely feel there is some tension. Sometimes he’ll come into his work area which is behind mine and just potter around for a minute before leaving, and I’ll catch him looking at me. About a month ago he sent an email as I was on my way into work, saying: Hoping you could help me out with a quick favour... would you please be able to take out the orange bin in my lab bay area? manager says it needs taking out for a visit (I must have missed the other day) and I'm WFH today and have no one else I can ask... I'd really owe you one! He has been WFH since sending the email. Sorry for the wall of text. I don’t have an interest in anything with this person, but for the sake of my career etc, I would like to know what, if anything is going on.

Was it a long time ago?

He was likely just trying to think of a way to leave.

Girl I blocked him as soon as he sent me that text right when he left. It’s weird cause he went straight to the bathroom looked at me then went back in? Then made a lap came behind me and tapped me??? The behavior is bizarre

Residency alone is brutal, and she's got a family medical emergency and an ex causing problems stacked on top of that. A lot of things collapsing at once. Survival mode, basically. I've gone quiet on people I actually cared about when I was in a version of that , nothing as extreme, but I work a beauty counter and there are shifts where I've been "on" for eight solid hours, warm and present for every single person who walks up. By the time I get home I have nothing left. Not because I stopped caring, just genuinely empty. Initiating anything feels impossible when you're like that. The warm tone when she does reply actually matters. If she'd checked out emotionally you'd feel it differently. What I'd try is instead of a check-in that asks her to update you on where she's at emotionally, send something that doesn't need a response at all. Just a "thinking of you, no need to reply" kind of thing. It takes the pressure off without you disappearing. That's hard to do when you're anxious about what's happening between you, but it probably gives her the most room to actually come back when she has something left to give.

Don't reach out asking what happened. I know that's probably the impulse but it just gives him the chance to explain himself in a way that makes you feel like you owe him understanding, or ignore you entirely, which would feel worse. The shoulder tap and "I'm still here just taking a call real quick" thing... that reads like someone checking if you'd wait. And you did. And then he left anyway. I think about how much work goes into getting ready for a date when you actually want it to go well. Picking the outfit, doing your makeup twice because the first attempt felt wrong. You showed up, apologized for being fifteen minutes late, and he couldn't stay three minutes. He had been begging for this. If he texts you with an explanation, you can decide then whether it matters. But I wouldn't go looking for one.

He has seen me in person before

Also on top of not always giving up to date photos there are also people who don't give up to date ages. I often find myself saying when looking at photos of people that there are either a lot of people who don't age very well on these sites or they are lying about their age.

^This. Some call it "Sit on your hands". Find other things to focus on. If there's no commitment then start browsing the dating sites. Or spend more time with friends or on hobbies or whatever, just not on her and don't rent her too much space in your head thinking about what's going on. But do NOT do this as some sort of manipulative ploy, you know when you ignore someone thinking they will miss you and want you more. That never works.

He clearly did not meet the woman he expected to meet. When I was online dating, it happened to me more often than not, although I didn't have the inclination to be so bold as to just leave, I'd sit it out for an hour or so, sometimes even paying for the promised dinner for a person who totally deceived me or deceived both of us into believing they looked the same as they did when their profile pictures were taken 10 or more years ago. I sort of like his style.

I think the entire process was cringeworthy, not just the date. Begging for a date is extremely unattractive. Neither of you should have agreed to have it. The cancelation of the first date certainly didn’t help, either. He must have been quite desperate to show up. It’s possible that he realized how sad it had been to beg for the date, made up some excuse, and disappeared. Overall, the entire vibe here is weird and unpleasant, from both of you. It’s therefore hard to understand what you’re worried about, the date had been pretty much doomed before it even started.

It is strange however the whole thing was set up to be awkward from the very beginning when there were cancellations right from the get go. He likely was extremely on the fence about the situation because of that and unless you turned out to be exactly what he pictured you to be he was probably going to lose interest very quickly. In the future if you feel the need to cancel the first date without a legitimate personal life reason it's better to just call the whole thing off and wish each other best.