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You being angry about this is pointless. They are both adults and it's not your place to force YD to forgive her sister and accept her back into her life. It will happen whenever YD is ready. You just need to back off and let them live their lives.

Your younger daughter is under no obligation to forgive the older daughter. She may well do so, and it will be on her own timetable. Addiction disrupts the lives of everyone in a family. Everyone is scarred. Any kid in a family where another kid is an addict (or seriously disabled) will get far less time and energy and focus with the parents that the troubled kid will get. In other words, your younger daughter was likely neglected by you and your ex--and it's likely the case that she still feels neglected---here is mom asking her to hide her feelings and compromise for the addict. What do you think younger daughter has been doing all her life?! And me calling out neglect is not a criticism of you. Parents HAVE to be preoccupied with the addict. The addict is in danger of destroying their own life. Most likely younger daughter needs to work through anger at you and her father for neglecting her. It’s sometimes harder for young people to get angry at their parents. So she’s focusing on the sibling. But look, even now mom is being preoccupied with the wellbeing of the addict. Please stop trying to persuade the younger daughter to change her feelings. And do some reading. You sound like you don't understand the devastating effect those years of addiction had on your younger daughter.

We could all see this and were trying to help you to understand. However it was pretty clear that you didn't agree with us and that thread just kept going in us saying one thing and you ignoring/refuting it. Who was right or wrong is now beside the point. My point is: Why did you keep engaging even though you felt we were wrong? I'm sure it would have been as frustrating for you as it was for us. Whether it be asking help on a forum or issues with a partner there comes a point where one needs to think "We are going in circles and I need to walk away"

My partner met a woman through his car business that him and his buddy own. When she came to buy the car, she was flirting with my partner and he told her he was with me, but mentioned his buddy to her and they got on a 3 way call to introduce him to her. I was not there to hear the conversation, but basically my partner was playing middle man and his buddy ended up asking her on a date and invited my partner to join on there first outing. This obviously made me uncomfortable and I had alot to say about it. It should have never gone past her flirting with him and business period. And no, he should not be going out with the 2 of them. His buddy never invited me either and for some time has been wanting my partner to be his wingman/matchmaker. Im not okay with my partner talking to other women to help his friend out especially considering his friend is more than old enough to find his own prospects without involving my man in his business all the time. Thoughts? I want to think my partner had good intentions but for me I don't allow certain situations to happen or get myself involved in things that will make my partner uncomfortable.

I hear. What we want for a loved one isn't always the best path for them. While YD may feel resentful and ripped off of a happy family life, or heartbroken by losing her relationship with her sister, or deprived of her parent's attention in the wake of all the chaos, one barrier to forgiveness she may not have overcome is a lack of trust and overpowering fear of having her heart broken again. We can speculate, but we can't know the mix and the depth of another's feelings and perceptions and wounds. Attempting to characterize YD's position is unfair, as would be an expectation that she bounce back according to any timeline you've assigned for her. My heart goes out to you. I'd be careful with this and avoid trying to broker the outcome you desire. Love requires respect.

Wow Good point thank you.I shouldn't say angry, mostly very sad and wanting reconciliation for them! Is this not a forum to get some support?? In my experience, there is a tough crowd out there

Yeah Id echo the others that basically you went for it and she said no, the rest is just noise not "signals". Id add that in future I dont think most women like receiving messages that they are "stunning". Its just going to get an eye roll at best or a block at worst. Engage with her like a normal human being.

So you're just pulling another round of the same cycle again. When nothing changes, nothing changes.

Nothing is going to change until you accept your role in all of this and firmly close the door on this relationship. You might benefit from discussing your patterns with a therapist who can help you explore why you pattern as you do and how to avoid future similar situations. Hope is not enough for relationship success.

The test was only positive on the test strips then went negative after a week. She must have had pregnancy hormones in her urine/blood but not enough to carry the pregnancy full term.

How can someone be pregnant with a chemical?

This story is no different than a hypothetical one where a person goes up to a window to buy a bus ticket and the clerk says "I'm happy to sell you a ticket but you should know that 30 minutes into the trip the bus will veer off the road and tumble down a 200 foot cliff" and the person says "hmm let me ask a random group of strangers what I should do I'll be right back".

Yeah the rest of the world doesn't sleep with our girlfriends and their nude teenage daughters. The rest of us are weird like that.

I skimmed the thread. The Op is messing around with a woman who is engaged to be married to another guy that she is cheating on, and is wondering if he should continue with her. Make better choices.

If you've got a double chin then you're probably overweight, maybe even obese, is this the case? If so you're dancing around the BIG problem.

Am I wrong to be angry? What a silly question. If people say "no you aren't wrong" then you'll stay angry and feel ok about it? If say, 5 people say "you are wrong to be angry" will you stop being angry or stay angry and feel bad about it? What's your cutoff in terms of votes

Judgmental isn't a word I'd throw around because you're doing it yourself. You haven't lived YD's experience, and it's not your place to impose a timeline on her ability to forgive.

No means no.

No, you don't. Why throw away your goal of finding the RIGHT lifetime partner for mutual attraction and desire just to get used by someone to gain documentation? What do you get from this arrangement? I'd tell her to find someone willing to settle for less than what you want and deserve.

Absolutely end the relationship. OMG, if you go forward you are in for a world of pain, stabbing, humiliating, insulting pain and self-rejection if you marry someone who has no attraction to you. Marriage, at its best, is about being with some who we know totally admires us and has our back. And we totally admire them. Being attracted to each other is FUNDAMENTAL. You cannot force attraction. Randomly, or in the right circumstances, it MIGHT grow. But she's already spent time with you. You guys have spent lots of time together. If it ain't there now, it ain't gonna come. I know her words must have hurt, but dude, she is doing you a huge favor by coming clean. Get out now. Do NOT marry. Your doubts are wise and important. Get out dude! And by the way, next time you date, YOU can really figure this out without the other person saying it. Going forward with the marriage would be wrong.

Whatever reason she is with you for, it isn’t love. She honestly told you she wasn’t attracted to you. If she still wants to be with you and is fine with having sex with you, it means that she is using you. It doesn’t matter what she is using you for, whether it is visa, money, security, stability, etc. The important part is that she isn’t in love with you. If you stay with her you’ll be feeling more and more miserable and unhappy,

That isn't how it works....It goes this way...you like someone, you just simply find out if they are single then ask them out. Signals are meaningless and not a way to gauge one's interests. Flicking hair etc is just a means of comfort, that's it. You took your shot, she pretty much said no. You accept it and move on like she did.

We haven’t spoken since Tuesday. She said it’s over. I feel bad because I wanted things to work as I didn’t realize the scale of the issues, I thought our issues were communication, but it’s standards/expectations misaligning. I explained to her many times I’m not desperate to get married , I only bring up marriage as that’s what I want before kids/being tied together financially. The timeline on that is when we both felt comfortable. She kept accusing me of not being committed as I don’t want her to move in or have kids till marriage, as I want a stable life. Now I see that’s all she wants even though I have the good memories I know she will just turn on me again.

I don't know the visa laws in Australia but I suggest that you should review them carefully. She doesn't deny you sex because she wants to seal the deal. But there is no way that a woman who tells you frankly she does not find you attractive, is not aroused by you, and only has sex to appease you, is going to ever be a satisfying sexual partner. The fact that she doesn't see what the problem is when she effectively allows you to use her body as a source of masturbation should be setting off alarm bells for you.

Have you left her, or are the two of you just looping another roundabout that you'll be happy to jump back on if she comes back?