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Nobody suggested that. Perhaps read the thread more carefully.

If you don't want to be the pursuer then move on. If you text him he may say yes to a second date but you'll still find yourself in the role of the pursuer after that. The ocean is full of fish, find one that wants to date you and is able to express it.

No offence, but you both sound like you're 15 years old

To be honest, this just sounds like a vent/rant You sound just like my ex, who was psychotic and had BPD, right down to the lies she used to tell. If he is anywhere near as bad as you claim, then LEAVE. You SHOULD have left years ago.

How long had he been single at that time?

Sorry, that sucks.

Honestly, at your age, and after dating for 6 months, it's time to s*** or get off the pot. You SHOULD be able to have mature adult conversations about such things. Her saying "yes I want kids" isn't an iron-clad contract to immediately begin procreating. If SHE can't understand that, then she really needs to grow up. If you try to have such a conversation, and her attitude remains apparently ambivalent, then what she's really saying is "I don't want to have kids (with you), but I also don't want to be alone right now." Make of that what you will.

At the risk of pointing out the obvious, this is obviously a very tumultuous time for you, so take your time to think everything through. You say that you're living with the guy, sleeping with him, and enjoying. So there's nothing wrong with that. The guy wants to step up, be a Dad, and provide for his kid, and that's a good thing. You say he wants to formalise it, so maybe check with a family law clinic about the laws in your state and country. But as a general rule, if you're married, and he eventually leaves you a widow then you would stand to inherit and you would be provided for.

LOL There is some really BAD advice on this thread WHAT exactly are you people suggesting?? That there's only one match for us, in the entire world, and we can't even talk to another woman until we find "The ONE"?!? Sorry, but that's not how life works. You're somehow "worried" that OP wasn't this guy's "First Choice"?? ROFLMFAO You think he somehow made it to 27 without so much as a crush on another girl? LOL. I have never heard such BULLSHIT. Especially when it comes to modern dating on apps. You know how many women I have "Really Liked" before meeting my goddess OP, whatever happened 2 years ago, is ancient history. Judge him on what you have now.

So, just to clarify. You've told him that you had a good time, and all you got back was an emoji? Maybe he's like me and has ASD?? Honestly, do whatever you feel comfortable with. If it were me, I'd just send a text and ask him straight up "Do you want to see me again?"

Ok first up, he's a guy, and a young guy at that. If you ask a guy if he would give up an inch in height for an inch in length, even somebody who is 5ft tall, will say YES! Guys that age still have two brains, and do most of their thinking with the lower one. Feeling inadequate in that department, much less having an actual problem, is debilitating. Secondly, if lack of penile performance is such a big issue, then you're doing sex wrong. I'm assuming he does have hands and a mouth? I do think that trying to get too much into his medical business, so early on, is a bit much. Especially given how much of the male ego is tied up in this. You're not wrong, he sould be speaking to local medical experts, rather than self-diagnosing and heading to Mexico or Thailand. But it IS his ___k. Maybe wait and see how it turns out? As for "should you try to fix things?" I say yes, only because you shouldn't have broken up over this issue alone.

Firstly, even as kids or teens, there are genuinely good people in this world. Maybe they just thought you needed a friend. Also, if you you were quiet, shy, and reserved, that may have been a refreshing break from other teenage boys always wanting to crack onto them. But I'd also say this: I have a great friend, somebody who is like a brother to me. we have been there for each other, in many ways, for over 20 years. I can tell you precisely how we met. I could not even begin to explain how we became friends, much less lifelong friends. So just be grateful.

I don’t think it’s very nice to tell me to grow up, I come on here expecting some advice and I thought everyone in this forum is on similar situations. The plan is to move on, I wanted to hear from others who have maybe been in a similar situation. If you have nothing kind to say please don’t comment on my thread thank you

then you just need to grow up, stop lying to yourself, and take SOME responsibility for your own actions. You absolutely DID want to get into this. You didn't just trip and fall on his penis. If you now feel guilty about screwing a married man, then good. Move on with your life, and don't do it again. Let me explain to you what has ACTUALLY happened: You THOUGHT that you were SPECIAL. That for a man to risk his marriage, must mean that you are in some way spectacular and worth the risk. You were both falettered and titilated by this. NOW you have suddenly realised that he is just an a-hole who will screw anything in heels. You're hurt and you are jealous. So out of SPITE, you want to hurt him and also his wife. Whatever happens, whether his wife finds out or not, YOU need to grow up and get on with your life

So if you believe this and are confident in him, why did you create this thread?

both in Germany. there are no problems on cultural basis anymore, we've discussed them in the beginning. He does a lot of things for me now that he didn’t do before, for example supporting me financially. Sure we've discussed this, he takes me to all his family events and wants a family with me.

She kind of answered your question herself when she said it wouldn't work if you don't actually do it. That's her telling you she already knows. You can't perform something you don't feel, and honestly trying to would just be exhausting for both of you. I've been in situations where I tried to be what someone needed me to be and it never goes well. You end up feeling like a bad actor in your own life. Some things are just a mismatch, and that's not a flaw on either side. She knows what she wants, you're a genuinely kind person who treats people well, and those two things just aren't compatible here. That's okay, even when it hurts.

Honestly even before this OOW i’ve drafted so many messages to his wife. Yes even before we started having issues. But due to the fact I work with him I haven’t done it. I hate myself for what i’ve done. I never wanted to get in to this. But I did.

It wasn't an abrupt out of the blue ending for him. People can do a really good job of disguising their feelings and motivations right up until the time they make their move. I suggest you try to let go and accept you'll never get the answers and get to a place where it doesn't matter.

Thanks for your replies. I really appreciate it. It was such an abrupt, out-of-the-blue ending that I just can't wrap my head around it. It happened in the middle of the street and the whole conversation didn't take longer than 5 minutes. And there we no signs at all ... I just don't get it. I'm so tempted to text him, tell him that I respect his decision if he really thinks that something is missing for HIM and HIS feelings are too platonic. But that for me it definitely wasn't platonic and that I'm sorry if I gave off the wrong "vibes". Maybe it's a cultural thing? He's from Southern Europe. I'm from Northern Europe and people have told me before that I can come across as aloof. I've been so close to tell him "I love you" several times in the past months, but I somehow really wanted him to say it first. Since he doesn't have close friends or family where we live I was the one who initiated all of these important "relationship steps" (like introducing him to my friends, to family members, taking him to a work event etc.). So I thought saying "ILY" first was something that HE could do. Now I regret it.

Is your partner financially dependent on you? It doesn't only involve social media, though. All she needs to do is say something to someone else and you might be getting a call from the local police department wanting to chat with you about suspicions of sexual impropriety. Frankly? Your partner sounds like weirdo. This isn't normal behaviour for a mother at all.

"Go to your own bed now." "Put clothes on."

Sorry, but I think you lost the context there. That whole paragraph was walking about my partner. Yes, our daughters behaviour is inappropriate, hence the thread. What I'm struggling with is how to stop it. As I've said, some issue have been stopped, but the overall attitude remains a problem.

For me, its not just becoming SOMEONE, it's about becoming something despicable. I once had a gf who enjoyed pissing on me after she orgasmed. I put up with it, but even if I'd come to "enjoy" it, that wouldn't bother me. But I wouldn't want to become somebody who enjoyed inflicting pain on a lover

Whether she is “sluttish” or not about sex with other people is entirely her decision that doesn’t involve you. The issue isn’t her attitude about sex, it’s the fact that she is making you uncomfortable by walking around naked and crawling into your marital bed. I think this is much more inappropriate than whatever she’ll be doing with her boyfriends in the privacy of her own relationships.