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Thank you. It’s been hard. The thought of her moving her stuff out of the apartment and being in pain makes me feel a pain I’ve never felt before. Can’t even describe it

If you call someone a narcissist, of course they aren't going to pick up the phone! And then you doubled down and kept calling her

I glanced through your post and thought that you were the controlling boyfriend, BEFORE I read the comments and found out that you are apparently her friend. Just... what??? This is not your problem. You're not her psychologist. If it bothers you that much, stop being friends with her. That's all you can do. Judging someone for reading romance novels is a new low, though, so I suspect that she's not going to miss your friendship much.

Okay, so this is like the third time you're describing her school outfit in great detail from head to toe. And the second time you've repeated that you're going to make her walk around shops in this uniform... I don't understand why you're so fixated on letting us know what exactly she's going to wear to school, and telling us that you're going to be parading her around in it. And honestly? This fixation is kinda giving me the creeps. Are you SURE you're a mom?

You did the right thing! Kudos to you, and all the best for your recovery. It'll feel awful for a while, but the negative emotions are only temporary, while you've made both of your futures better and brighter. You should be proud of yourself.

What would be the point of this? I'm startingn to get the sense that you're now trying to over-compensate for not having the courage to stand the ground with her in the past. Over-doing it in the manner described above is going to make things worse and won't help her respect your authority as a parent.

mail the frying pan to her house. that way you don't have to respond to her. and block her number.

i have had a massive row with my daughter this evening she wont leave off about me getting her out of her saturday detention, so now i have taken your advie and imposed my own punishment, i have told her i will be picking her up from her satuday detention, then i am going to take her shopping in her school uniform , when she gets home she will be confined to her room for the rest of the weekend, my daughter says she will sneak out of her room, so i said if necerssary i will lock her in her room ?

Attempts to diagnose your friend are misplaced. If you find her that annoying, spend less time with her, and focus on finding more secure people with whom to surround yourself. Secure people tend to gossip less and inspire others more through their own productivity, talents, and exploration of creative things. Finding fault with others doesn't tend to be on their radar.

I second this. I'd tell her the subject is closed, and if she raises it with me again, I'll tack on my own punishment, like taking her phone away. I'd reflect on why daughter has gained the notion that lying is okay, and that I'd be willing to do it for her. It sounds like she has learned how to manipulate you, and you've modeled for her that it's easy. Maybe it's been easier for you to give into it rather than buckle down and teach her that she can't always get what she wants? I'd make it my goal to teach her that lying and manipulating are serious character flaws that will harm her in the real world. I would NOT do this merely by speaking about it, I would make it my resolution to model it and enforce it for her as well.

Your grief is natural, and my heart goes out to you both. You did the right thing.

Well I did it. Feeling all sorts of emotions right now, everything from regret, relief, sadness, and loneliness. We both cried our eyes out and talked for quite a while. She handled it pretty maturely and honestly better than I expected, we both reflected on the great times we had and how much we both cared for each other. I explained, it’s not fair to her and I can’t continue to be in the relationships if my hearts not fully in it, she deserves someone who is undoubtedly certain about wanting to marry her and start a life together.

, i have told my daughter that she MUST and WILL be serving her saturday detention this saturday, and she will not be attending the theme park party, i have told her its her own fault she is being punished, you cannot just miss a detention for no reason and expect to escape punishment, what is making things worse is my other 2 daughters are also invited to the party this saturday and they are obviously teasing her about her saturday detention and winding her up about how cool the party will be, this is of course making things difficult , i have also told my daughter i may impose my own punishment, i have a good mind to pick her up from her saturday detention and walk her around the shops in her school uniform , she wont like that that ?

Has she asked for "help" from you for this supposed "problem"? If not, then it sounds like you need to mind your business and stop trying to psycho-analyze your friend. If her flirtatious nature bothers you so much then maybe pull back from the friendship. It's not your place to change your friends or judge their behavior.

i dont know really everyone on this site supports me, i have told my daughter that she MUST and WILL be serving her saturday detention this saturday, and she will not be attending the theme park party, i have told her its her own fault she is being punished, you cannot just miss a detention for no reason and expect to escape punishment, what is making things worse is my other 2 daughters are also invited to the party this saturday and they are obviously teasing her about her saturday detention and winding her up about how cool the party will be, this is of course making things difficult ?

Well that's just insane. It's not normal to rush into marriage like that when you barely know someone, so this example isn't something to compare your situation to. You have been casually dating this woman for two months. You barely know her. You should not be thinking about marriage at this point. Circle back to the idea if you are still dating her after a year.

I am actually not a parent but I'm a teacher. This is the part where it's important to have a backbone. You don't let a kid whine at you for 2 or 3 days. She should have learned long ago that whining and throwing a tantrum will not get her what she wants. If a kid didn't cut out the whining and asking for the same thing repeatedly I would give them another consequence just for that. You don't listen to a kid whine for 2-3 days. She should already figure out way before that, that it's not going to work.

yes you are right she was managed to get her own way in the past, but i have told her this time she WILL be serving her satuday detention, and she will NOT be attending the party , i have explained to hear that that is her punishment for skipping a detention for no reason

How many more people do you need to hear from? Everyone so far has said you are doing the right thing, which I hope you know in any case. You should calmly let your daughter know that she will be serving her Saturday detention and then don't engage any further on this topic. The fact that she is continuing to whine and beg tells me she has used this tactic before successfully. Nip that in the bud.

What I am really asking is: what's makig you doubt yourself on this?

Has she asked for your help? I dare say that most of this isn't any of your business.

Well, I wouldn’t accept cheating, of course. Occasional remarks about some guy’s sexiness would be okay. Except that “handsome waiter to kiss” strikes me as somewhat shallow. “A genius man in my profession whom I admire and would totally sleep with if I were single” is more like my partner’s style, for example. To me, it sounds like your friend is using superficial sexualized language to hide more serious issues. Maybe she feels guilty or unloved or sexually unsatisfied or something like that.

not really my daughter is quite well behaved and she works hard at school, i had a chat or lecture with her last night, i said to her i cant understand why she skipped the normal detention as she knew it would lead to a satuday detention, she said it was a spur of the moment thing, all her friends were going bowling, and she didnt want to be detained , she got it into her head that no one would notice and she would escape punishment. I explained that skipping a detention is NOT acceptable and now she must pay by missing the party to attend the detention, i said that is the punishment, as you can expect my daughter is not happy she has just found out she still has to serve the original 1 hour 30 minute detention this friday then back to school on the satuday to serve her other detention, i have to listen to another 2 or 3 days of her begging me to lie for her to get her out of it, i am refusing, i have also warned her i may impose my own punishment yet, i have told her that after her detention on friday evening she will NOT be going out she will stay in , and iron her school shirt, i believe i am doing the right thing i just want other parents opinions please ?

It’s because we’re pretty religious and I know someone who decided to get married within first three dates and then got married after three months.

Maybe she's secretly gay and dribbles on about men in a sexual way to hide it. Or maybe she's just a bit obsessed and creepy about guys.