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I haven’t been in contact with him for a month now. It’s been really hard because I still miss him, which I know I shouldn’t. I sometimes think back to everything that happened and wonder if anything I can do to change the outcome, but I don’t think there is anything I can do. I also come to realised, I don’t think I’ll be happy with him long term. Not sure if that’s true or if it’s my brain trying to comfort me.

Thank you for your advices. I will try and be more aware of what actually happening instead of fantasising. I know it’s only been a month but he was very caring and attentive. Always message and call and sometimes even implying future stuff with me. So I guess I thought he really likes me and wanted something long term.

Look, I get it, I understand all the comments here. But she's never lied. She's done stuff I don't care for and especially in hindsight would rather have never happened but she's never lied. I'm honestly over it but I've just had this huge spanner thrown in the works and every way I look at it I just can't walk away from my child if it ends up being mine. How that would look with her and I scares the s*** out of me.

Thank you !!! I put this to her and she has agreed. I contacted a place and we are booked in after Christmas. They suggested to do it at 10 weeks and that would be the week after Christmas we think. Damn expensive !! I'll just have to play it as though I am the father until then and if it turns out I am, well I just don't know, I just can't bring myself to walk away from my child.

Yes to very much. And you barely saw the world at 18 and the older person will take away from your time to do so intentionally or unintentionally. Because when you at that young age wanna have fun do stuff you do at your age,the older person is over that stage of life long ago and wanna do serious stuff and can't get along with your life. You may end up adjusting and wasting time At some point also....what grown adult with job and stable life chose a young person....??! Best is to stay around your age, especially as younger one. Cause you sure got a lot to lose and more easy to be taken advantage of

What would your parents say? If you respect them and they've generally done a good job of raising you, you should trust them on this

20M, suffer from social anxiety and depression (not diagnosed but likely), virgin, never had a girlfriend, no friends, never approached a girl before. I've definitely been exposed to a lot of redpill and blackpill content and while it's definitely distorted my perception, I'm just an incel insofar as I'm celibate and wish I wasn't. No ideology attached. I live in a small, rural Indiana town with a 4k population, though college towns and Indianapolis are less than 2 hours away for me. I weighed 350+ lbs last year but started working out and now weigh around 230 lbs. I am 6'1. I've dealt with lots of issues with my self-image but objectively I'm average to potentially slightly above average looking. Recently was catcalled "Hey handsome!" while delivering a Doordash order late at night. Got approached by a goth chick at a underground extreme metal concert and completely froze up, she was visibly uncomfortable after noticing that. Throughout my life I've always been a loner. Never made any friends, didn't have any siblings growing up. Had a rough upbringing, my dad abused my mom and she kicked him out when I was a baby. He died a few years ago, never had the chance to meet him. Never had any father figure in my life. My mom OD'd on fentanyl and barely survived when I was 14, lived with my aunt ever since. Never severely bullied but definitely teased constantly in school. Rather it be my weight or an awkward joke that didn't land. I've always been far too sensitive. When the pandemic started I stayed at home and did online classes until I graduated. I've been isolated from the outside world pretty much since then. Any social network from high-school most people develop has been non-existent for me. Not like I can afford college, I'd be lucky to get into trade school. Currently, I'm in the darkest place I've ever been. Very rarely do I have an interaction with someone where I feel like I didn't completely f*** it up. Everyday feels exactly the same, there doesn't seem to be an end to the cycle in sight. Dating doesn't feel possible to me. My worst fear is that 2, 5, 10, 20 years from now nothing about me or my circumstances will change and I'll still alone. It feels inevitable. [ ] I probably should seek therapy but it feels pointless. All I'm wanting is a normal, fulfilling life that isn't spent alone. I don't think I'll ever have that.

So sorry that you're going through this. I can tell you what has helped me as someone who received a serious health diagnosis myself this year. I got connected to an organization that offers support groups, and I've been doing a support group that meets weekly via zoom. Find a support group that is geared towards situations similar to yours; not necessarily the exact condition that your granddaughter has, but maybe for family members and caregivers of children with serious illnesses. There are also facebook groups about different health conditions where you can connect with other people. Of course there's always individual therapy as well. But I find that talking to other people going through similar situations is the most helpful.

Using a child to repair a doomed relationship never works. No, being a middle aged single mom wannabe porn star is still more attractive than being with a man you don’t love or respect.

I have been in a relationship coming up to two years and it feels like it is struggling on an almost consistence basis. At some points it goes really well and at other times it feels like I might as well not exist. Part of me thinks I should step away, that if I am even questioning things it is a massive warning sign but I don't want to. We have spoken on a number of occasions that we do not want to break up and if anything the person has said they are waiting for me to give up. I really don't want to but I do think it is for very selfish reasons and mainly about not wanting to be alone. I am terrified if I say what is on my mind I am going to destroy what I have and that there is no turning back, I want to believe that sooner rather than later things will improve I just need to wait it out and get through the storm, I am just not sure how. Does anyone have any advice?

Yeah, right. Are you perhaps interested in ocean-front property in Kazakhstan? I've got some for sale.

She's a grown a$$ woman, she can accommodate and leave her dog with a friend simple as that. No different if she were a single mother. This is totally an adaptable situation.

i mean, landlord makes the rules. setting a precedent is meaning if they make an exception one time then people will do it again and again and take advantage of it. and you already know that it isn't just "one time" because you'd be doing it constantly. her dog is not your issue, her dog is her issue. if she wants to stay with you, she needs to manage her dog. you aren't the caretaker of the dog. this is hardly different than someone needing a babysitter if they want to be out all night, except dogs are easier than babies. surely she has a friend that can drop by and check on the animal while she's gone, animals exist just fine without us standing over them.

she was blowing other guys before you split up, so i think the chances are still "pretty high" that she was sleeping with other men before just last week. sorry to be the one to say it.

I've just started seeing someone and after making an enquiry, I learned that the landlord of my leasehold property won't allow her dog to stay overnight 'as it would set a precedence', whatever that means. The girl I'm seeing previously said that it would be unfair to me to always be coming to her - we live an hour apart. But now I'm realising this might be a case of having no choice and always having to be at hers every weekend, always being the guest. It's very discouraging to think that she would only ever be able to spend a few hours at mine and never stay the night unless she got a dog sitter. Has anyone had any similar experience and had it work?

He's definitely got a huge crush on the 22 year old and has been relieving himself looking at her pictures. She probably is aware of his crush on her as well as other guys who patronize the restaurant. I'm sure it's clear to her how much they like her by the amount of her tips. Of course, he doesn't think his actions should impact your relationship with him, because the 22 year old isn't looking after his home while he's in the hospital or sitting by his bedside.

Sure everyone can be creepy, i mean for me its just an inevitability Yes basically currently its pretty much just an aestetic issue, i used to have horrible sleep and breating issues but that part lessened with age

This isn't an appearance thing... it's completely possible for a male model to be creepy and an unattractive man to not be creepy. It's more about understanding social cues and being willing to back down and leave gracefully as soon as you sense that the person isn't interested. Anyway, to answer your question, is the deformity just an aesthetic issue? Are you able to live normally, work, have a social circle, etc?

Hello everyone. I'm hoping someone here might have insight or clarity to offer in this bizarre, possibly dangerous(?), or perhaps demented (?) situation I've stumbled upon. I reconnected with an ex (we are both in our 50s) who is a widower. We've been dating for 6 months and going to couples counselling (Gottman Method) to repair his betrayal of me in the past. He has had two failed live-in relationships since I went no-contact after said betrayal - for 3 years- till this reconnection 6 months ago. He has been passionately participating in therapy, with what seems to be a significant interest in a permanent, healthy repair. However, 2 weeks ago, I stopped by his home to care for his animals when he had a health crisis and was in the hospital undergoing surgery. I stumbled upon something in his bathroom that has shaken my world, and I don't know what to do. In his emergency, he had left personal things out for anyone to see. The personal items were dozens of candid photos (not explicit - they were all probably her Facebook images he had printed out on glossy photo paper) of a 22-year-old woman who manages the local coffee shop in his rural area. With the photographs was a plastic iced coffee cup, and its transparent walls were lined with pictures of this young woman. Pictures he had obviously taken of her (with her not knowing) while at the drive-through and printed out to decorate the coffee cup - or create some symbol or totem???. I don't know what to do. Do I inform the police that my bf is possibly a stalker? I can't say if she is unaware or aware of his obsession/desires. Do I assume he has a mutual relationship with this young woman and return to no contact with him? That does not seem plausible at all. I went to visit him 2 days ago and let him know what I had found accidentally ( I waited for him to recover from the surgery), and his reaction was one of severe rage. He accused me of snooping and violating his privacy, and that I had no right to any knowledge of his personal things, and that, however he chooses to relieve himself sexually, is not my business (his language was more colorful). He refused to explain it all, saying I was too judgmental and prone to using personal info to chastise and shame him...Therefore, I was not privileged to know things a devoted, trusting gf would rightfully need explained. He also told me that he COULD explain it all in a few quick moments, but that he would not explain it to me personally. He does not think this incident should impact our relationship in any way, and he believes I'm sabotaging our progress if I don't let this go and continue with our ongoing therapy process to be together for a lifetime?! His severe rage scared me, so I did not continue the discussion, and I've not seen him or spoken to him since. I'm deliberating and digesting what has happened. Am I correct that this is showing me that not only has his "interest" in relationship repair been all a bizarre lie, but he is also a dangerous stalker and possibly a sociopath? I don't know why my head is so jumbled. I wish to be clear-eyed before I decide what to do - if the proper and moral thing is to do something?

There are non-invasive paternity tests that can be done as early as 7 weeks. I tried to post a link but apparently a moderator has to review all posts with a link. Google is your friend.

There are DNA tests that can be done as early as 7 weeks from a simple blood draw (non-invasive).Non-Invasive Paternity Test | DNA Paternity Test

Yeah. And I had moved on in my head, I had accepted that. One week was all it lasted and now my world has exploded. She's pregnant! Of course she is. Why not. Why does fate mock me. The way I was told is heartbreaking. It's mine she says because she only slept with other people after we split. It's be a week ffs. What a way to dig the knife in, one week, other people, PLURAL. I'm stuck here now. This is my s*** life. I cannot be sure the child is mine and there will be a DNA test as soon as it's born but just in case it is mine I simply have to be here for my child, I will not abandon them, they have done nothing wrong. I can't imagine keeping my distance now only to find out that it is indeed mine. I loved her, I mean I truly loved her with my everything. I allowed her so much grace to explore herself and she's just spat in my face. So she's now got everything she wanted, she single and has already shown she's going to put out to anyone and I'm gonna be this wimpy husband at home looking after our child while she's out being a sl*t. As much an a hate to say this I hope the child is not mine so I can get out of this but right now I have to move forward as though it is. And maybe this is a gullible me talking but I do believe her, I don't think there way anyone before we split so hey, welcome to my life. I anticipate I will get a lot of backlash here but I have asked her to reconsider and to give us another shot. I believe our child can bring us closer together. Surely that's more attractive than being a middle aged single mom wannabe porn star.

Hi, everyone. It's been ages since I've been on here. I'm in a very bad place right now and need your help. My 14 month old granddaughter was recently diagnosed with MPS1 or Hurler syndrome. She lacks an enzyme that breaks down the body's complex sugar molecules. In time they collect and destroy all her organds including the brain. There is no cure. Just treatment. She is having weekly infusions of the enzyme she is missing and we are waiting for a match for a bone marrow transplant. This has to be done before she's two. She's 14 months now. To say I am devastated is a gross understatement. I am losing my mind over this. At times my despair leads down very dark paths. I am worried out od my wits both for my daughter and my beautiful granddaughter. How do I come to terms with this? How do I accept such a hard future for the both of them. Even if the transplant is a success, she will continue to have all sorts of serious medical problems, mostly surgeries, all her life which in the best of circumstances will be contunue into her early adulthood. I think I am going insane. I am not who I used to be nor is my life what it used to be. I guess what I'm asking Q HOW DO I COPE WITH ALL THIS?

I'm guessing there are online communities for people with disabilities? If you can find a couple that you're comfortable with and post your queries on them, you might find people who are similar to you or people who can speak from experience about dealing with dating struggles similar to yours. You could also ask your doctor if he knows of support groups for people with your condition. That might open up other doors and lead to your meeting people. I wish you wouldn't refer to yourself as a creep. It is normal (not creepy) to want to love and to be loved. That has nothing to do with whether you are conventionally attractive. Showing interest in someone and asking them out is not creepy as long as you respect them and their boundaries. If people have called you a creep for being human and doing the same as them and everyone else, they are wrong. Please don't internalize their insults or legitimize them.

I don’t want to discourage you, but as someone who’s been on the other side of such a relationship, I feel that I have to warn you of the inherent difficulties. First, I don’t think that it’s intrinsically impossible to have a happy relationship under these conditions. That girl and I lasted 7 years, the breakup was amicable, and there are no hard feelings or bitterness. But here is what she said when she broke up with me. She said that she felt she was locked in a cage. That she sensed herself a doll and not a real human being. That she didn’t know life and didn’t have the opportunity to explore it. Mind you, of course I didn’t physically lock her up or prevented her from pursuing her studies, her hobbies, having her friends, etc. I also definitely didn’t consider her a doll, I had feelings for her and my intentions were to stay with her for good. The thing is that, no matter how mature you are for your age and how certain you feel about things, at 18 a person isn’t fully formed yet. Life experience is crucial in order to determine what you truly want. Exploration and experimentation are crucial components there. Now, a 38 year old person usually has had enough experience. Assuming that your love interest has serious intentions and isn’t just looking for sex, he is probably looking for a long-term relationship, possibly even for life. That glaring discrepancy in life experience and expectations is what causes most such relationship to fail. It doesn’t mean yours will, but you’ll be definitely fighting against the odds.