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So she basically didnt give a damn or "forgot" about your birthday and you ended up tying yourself in knots. Why are you now being so generous to her? Its not being a "nice person" its devoting your time and energy to someone who has plainly shown you they don't deserve it. You're not respecting yourself here.

I also spent quite some time looking for an app... like the one you mentioned, and after trying several, the best one by far is Fuego, search "Fuego couples" in the store We love it and it has what you’re looking for: several classic games and others that are more original. The app is free, although to unlock its full potential it works with a subscription.

Hello! I completely agree that the time will come but you've to go and do things to meet new people. You won't find the person or meet anyone new in your place inside your confort zone. I'm saying this not thinking that you're doing it but to encourage you to do new things and to go out from the confort zone.

Hello community! I’d love to download an app for my iPhone to improve and level up our relationship by trying new and fun experiences. The perfect app would need to have different games, ideally a mix of classic ones (like dice, for example) and other more innovative games for new experiences. If the app is free, even better, but I understand that nowadays it’s difficult and you usually have to pay to get quality products or services. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge!

Hello community! I’d love to download an app for my iPhone to improve and level up our relationship by trying new and fun experiences. The perfect app would need to have different games, ideally a mix of classic ones (like dice, for example) and other more innovative games for new experiences. If the app is free, even better, but I understand that nowadays it’s difficult and you usually have to pay to get quality products or services. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge!

I texted her earlier today that I needed to have an important conversation with her later and she said okay and said she also had something to say. Later we called and I told her to go first and the first thing that she said before I said a word was that her communication was lacking and uneven and she wasn’t reciprocating what I was giving and that she would do better at it. She said that she didn’t do a good job prioritizing the relationship and that she would work on being better at it and reiterated that communication was a big thing between us. She then asked what I had to say and I told her my boundaries and she said okay and that she had only kept contact with him because she felt obligated since he’s still homeless but he did hurt her and she understood why I felt that way and she said she’d cut contact. She didn’t try to argue or plead her case, just said that I was fair to have that boundary and that she’d respect it. The conversation lasted maybe 10 minutes max.

Understood, it's her Birthday weekend and I while mine did not go great. The good person in me is going to at least give effort and if that bites me in the end, I am already mentally prepared for that as I expected that she would of made plans with others this weekend.

I dont think this is a very good idea man, honestly. But hey, its your life your time and your heart. It's up to you if you want to keep giving chances to someone whos already shown you youre not a priority.

So for update she has agreed to see me Saturday. Her Dad has been in surgery which has created complications but she is still following through with Saturday. She was cute with her messages (I guess the hot and cold thing) and was appreciative of what I have planned for us. Will see how it goes/

Yeah 32M here and I'm the same. Dating has become a real discouraging grind now and Im not sure if its the culture changing, passing my 20s or a combination of both. I figure its most likely the latter. Its good to keep in mind that you only need to meet one person who's right for you. There seem to be less and less people out there who are actually open to dating but you have to keep going with an open mind.

This woman is not ready for another relationship. She is still hung up on her ex. The fact that you don't really see this is concerning. It's not about her being a "bad people pleaser." It's about her still being in love with him and not being ready to let go. I don't think you quite get that having a conversation about your discomfort with him is not going to move the dial as far as her true feelings are concerned. I think you moved way too quickly and didn't take the proper time to assess if this woman is acutally relationship material at this point. It seems pretty clear that she is not.

It often comes down to problems with self-worth. The passionate highs can prop up a fragile ego - temporarily. You feel wanted and desired. But since it's not consistent and the desire is not based on real substance, you go rumning after again as soon as you need your own fix. You have turned this person into a measuring stick of your self-worth and you keep going back to see how much you are worth to him. It is never going to be what you want it to be. He's told you that, in so mamy words. So this is a lot less about him, and a lot more about you.

I get it. Sorry this is happening. Divorce your wife as quickly and as painlessly as you can, and start healing. Things look very grim now, but eventually you’ll see that there are a lot of good, faithful women out there. Cheating eventually destroys the person from within, so your wife is going to have way more problems in the future than you.

You miss the passion and you don’t want to settle for someone you aren’t passionate about. That’s good. The only solution is to find a good, reliable person who’d want to be with you and who you are passionate about as well. Don’t adopt the false dichotomy “either passion with a jerk, or a nice guy to settle for”, the female variant of the Madonna / whore complex. It must be the whole package, passion and commitment. It is possible to have, you just haven’t found the right guy yet.

OP, there is a lot I could comment on here, but let’s just focus on the essentials. That man, “Mich”, lied to his girlfriend and lied to you. He hid his affair from her, and he hid his relationship from you. I’m going to be very blunt here. Mich is a bad man, one who cannot be trusted, and you should remove him from your life, now and for good. Yes, I’ve been the person someone chose over a relationship with someone else. But the word missing here is “eventually”. The woman in question chose me after exactly two weeks of an unclear, messy situation. She broke up with the other man and became my girlfriend. There were no lies in either direction preceding this. The only way to solve that kind of a situation is to make a choice as soon as possible. Either stay with the old partner or leave them and be with the new one. There is no in-between. But Mich’s behavior is the very definition of in-between. He wants to keep both his girlfriend and his affair partner. He’s been stringing both you and Louise along for convenience, because he is a selfish, lying jerk who cares only about himself. Unfortunately, things are even worse than that. He’s not only a liar and a manipulator, he is also a control freak with some serious issues, possibly an abuser and a violent man. The part about him not wanting you to follow other men on Instagram and becoming angry and jealous when you did that says nothing about his feelings for you. You’re absolutely delusional if you really think that means he cares for you or loves you. It means the opposite, that he is monumentally, pathologically selfish and possessive, to a degree that he wants to control the behavior of the woman he’s cheating on his girlfriend with. Why do you allow an a**h*** like that order you around and control your life like that? I sincerely advice you, immediately after removing him from your life, to find a good therapist and start working on restoring your self-respect. Remember, as long as you don’t respect and love yourself, you’re going to keep attracting jerks like Mich.

Ummm I left an attractive man, who was wife-ing me, for this one… no one’s ever made Me feel the passionate highs… how do I just make myself stop wanting him? I blocked him for a year and after I was single again he was alll I wanted and idk why

Well, it was only yesterday that I discovered evidence of her cheating. I can't control when s*** happens.

That’s true but I guess I just thought that I can’t control her family and I’m not dating her family and I wouldn’t turn away someone a da that I liked because they have a toxic family. To this point her family drama hasn’t effected me or our ability to hang out but just because it hasn’t doesn’t mean it won’t. True but I can tell her that it makes me uncomfortable. She texted him asking if he could pick up her brother from school and still has his profile saved on her gaming console. I’ll respect her decision to keep him around but I feel justified in not liking it and communicating that with her.

Yes, he wants to be friends with benefits. f*** buddies. Concubines. Call it what you want, but do you really want to be that? Yes, dump him for good and find a man who respects you, doesn’t lie to you, and wants to actually be in a relationship with you.

OP, I must say that I can see why some people here are asking you uncomfortable questions regarding your curiosity. My impression is, too, that you appear to be a bit too curious and somehow too excited about her message, her possible motives for sending it, and her in general. Don’t take this the wrong way, but there is a hint of an impression that a part of you, perhaps subconsciously, might be longing for the wild sex and passion that you had with her. I think you might need to be very honest with yourself and perhaps ask yourself some uncomfortable questions. This is not an accusation, but more like an advice to be careful. I’ve been in similar situations and things didn’t really go well eventually. Sexual satisfaction is an extremely important aspect of life, and the lack of it is often overlooked or downplayed.

Looking for a long term relationship is not the same as actually having one, and also not the same as being compatible for it just because you both want it. This is just the beginning of your relationship and already you’re enmeshed in her family drama. I think this is a red flag. Well, sorry, but who she keeps or doesn’t keep in her orbit is entirely her decision. You can’t just tell her to stop communicating with that ex if that’s what she wants. You can’t change her or dictate to her how she should behave with other people. The only thing you can do is break up with her if the presence of her ex bothers you so much.

You’re honestly probably right but I’m still gonna just try to talk to her and set that boundary with her now and see if she can accept it or not. The family issues don’t bother me at all because it’s not she dumped them on me, I wanted a relationship with clear communication and understanding and would rather not date her for 6 months before knowing that her mom is kinda crazy. But the other part is an issue for me. Also it’s been more than 2 weeks. We’ve been talking consistently for weeks

Thank you for posting this. I’m almost 50 and the best relationship of my life started only 3 years ago, preceded by years of breakups, divorces, heartbreaks, and moment of utter despair. It’s always possible to find a good partner and have a good relationship at any age. Instead of losing hope and forcing bad relationships to happen, we should work on our issues and strive to become the best versions of ourselves, so that we’re in a good mental shape when a suitable partner does appear.

We’ve been talking for well over a month. When we started dating we both made it clear that we were looking for something long term and not a casual relationship. I don’t have a problem with her forgiving him. I have a problem with her keeping him in her orbit after such a toxic situation. It speaks to a lack of respect for herself and boundaries that is a massive problem with me. I trust her to not cheat, but I don’t trust him nor do I know if I can really trust her judgment if she can’t see that this isn’t normal. you’re right I don’t owe her but I just want to give her the opportunity to see why this doesn’t sit right with me

Goodness, if that’s what your wife really is, why do you even need to ask questions on the forum and make it initially sound like all she was doing was taking business trips? The only possible advice here would be “divorce her and find a woman who doesn’t behave like a prostitute”. I have a strange feeling from reading this thread. Based on the two-tiered information you’ve provided, it went very quickly from “why on Earth would you think she’s cheating?” to “why on Earth would you think she’s not cheating?”.