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No, you shouldn't. YOU CHOSE to have an affair with a MM. You are at least as guilty as he is. Now, you just want to tell her out of spite. If, as you claim, you now "know your worth" then just forget them both and get on with your life.

I don’t have a teenage daughter or stepdaughter, but if I did, I’d be extremely uncomfortable with her running around the house naked and / or getting into bed with me naked. I don’t think this is normal, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with being sexually liberated. I don’t understand why the mother condones such behavior.

Firstly, I love them both, My Partner is incredible, and yes we are planning to Marry She's actually a great kid, albeit with no boundaries. I actually love having her in my life. I love how close she is with her mum, and to some extent I feel happy that she seems to include me. It's just that so far, I am getting no traction. I've been hoping that the "joke" would wear off, but not so far. My partner legit seems to think that I am over reacting. Also, they have both given up everything to move halfway round the world to be with me. My partner was very independent before we met, and she is the one that has made all the sacrifices. We don't fight. We may disagree over say timing, but it never becomes a big issue. Importantly, we have never "disagreed" over our daughter. My partner says to me "she is your daughter now, so of course she must do as you say." We have never had a "you're not really her father" type conversation, and I don't want to risk that starting. But, what HAS been really difficult, is that my partner just does not accept the notion of different rules or standards for her and our daughter. Is she goes to the hairdresser, or beauty salon, or gets her nails done, then our daughter does to. She's not spoiled, as such, they just do everything together. I try to have serious conversations with my partner, and I know that if I really come down hard on the issue, that they will do as I say. But I don't want to be a dictator, and sometimes I just struggle to explain it. My partner now seems to have so fully embraced the idea that she is OUR daughter, that my awkwardness doesn't make sense to her. We have told our daughter that she must be more careful around the house, in case there are visitors. But then she gets cheeky and says "so is ok if no visitors?"

Her daughter, her problem. No need to make it yours. Stay out of it and enjoy your time with your girlfriend. Don't marry her and don't adopt the kid, she's going to be trouble.

Definitely inappropriate. And the mother is a huge part of the problem. You need to end the relationship and walk away.

My dad was married 3x and did the online dating thing until his early 80s at which point he finally gave up but hey he tried. My sister is 64 and she's back at again after yet another relationship failure. Her odds are slim but that's because of the type of person she is inside and how she looks on the outside. My point being 50 is young compared to what other people go thru. You can do this, and it's better to be single then to be with the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

Maybe, id not mind these episodes if she didnt push me away so i dont know anything, i mean, i dont even know if this is the truth, im feeling like im being ghosted, not that i believe she would do that, my mind is just too tired now

(Very) long-time member, but I haven’t posted for a while. After being single and on the apps for 15 years (interrupted by several chaotic situationships that were the reason I ended up on this forum), I finally met someone last year in May. We made it official in June and have been together for almost a year now. There was a relationship hiccup in October, when I had doubts. The reason was that my life is quite busy and he had the feeling I wasn’t making enough time for him. That in return led to me feeling a bit claustrophobic, so I asked him for a break to think things over. After a few weeks we decided to give it another try and since then I’ve really been trying to incorporate him into my life and to show him, that he means a lot to me. Over Easter we went on our first week-long trip together and it was lovely. We talked about the future, decided to go on holiday again together in late summer so I could meet his family. After many years, I finally felt happy, safe and secure in a relationship with a man. Then yesterday evening we had planned to meet. I told him I’d come to his place after work but he suggested meeting at a café instead (first sign something was off). We had a glass of wine and he seemed distant the whole time. Afterwards, while we were walking to his place, he suddenly said: “I have to ask you something.” For a millisecond I thought he was going to suggest moving in together. But he said: “Do you sometimes feel like this feels more like a platonic friendship? Because I do.” That was a complete shock. I told him that to me it 100% never felt that way. And I asked him if he wanted to break up. He was hesitant. I said: “I can deal with relationship ups and downs and we can work on anything. But I need to know that you still want to make this work. I wouldn’t want to be with somebody who’d rather not be with me.” He said “Do I have to answer that right now?” I said “Yes, preferably – as you’re leaving for a business trip tomorrow and I’d rather have clarity before. And then he just said: “I’m sorry.” Turned around and left. I haven’t slept all night and feel completely devastated. Now I’m at work, trying to get through the day. I had a big party planned for the weekend and I invited 40 people. They’re all going to ask where he is. Right now I can’t see myself going through with that. I miss him. I want him back. I can’t even fathom having to go back on the apps at almost 50. I’m sick of dating and I just want to finally find my person. I don’t think I’ve ever been so sad. Sorry, I know this is not really a question. I just needed to write this down somewhere ☹

People like this don't make for good partners in the long-term. You're seeing why.

I honestly dont know, all this is out of character for her, shes a genuine caring person and i believe she would tell me its over, i did tell her to always be honest with me too, and ive gave her a couple of opportunities to end it in my texts but nooe, she hasnt. I dont know any of her work friends ir family tbh, i did speak to 1 if our mutual friends recently and she said shes not seen her about anywhere, group chats or anything, which is unlike her. I dont think anything serious has happend as ive seen her post a song in fb, which im probs over thinking here, the lyrics where sonething like will i still love her when shes a mess etc. I dont know what to think tbh, this is out of character for her, but at the same time i feel this silence is her way of ending things, and it hurts, was only a few days prior we was laughing and joking about the next holiday id booked, hence nothing makes sense. The only thing that would have made sense is if there was someone else but with her busy life and how our relationship has been, like hid from from her ex, and i live an hour away, theres no way she would be with someone local. Regardless, i think this silence is her way of ending things and i havd to treat it as such, i hope not though

Basically yes, both times out of the blue too, no signs of anything, i remember the 1st time, had my usuall phone call before she went to work, then nothing for 3 days, she rang me after 3 days and basically said the same thing as her text this time, shes exhausted from everything etc, she did share a post during these 3 days thoigh that basically said shes not ignoring people, its how she is when she shuts down.. This time though is a lot longer and is worrying me, i logged on things yesterday and shes not removed me off anything so i dont know what to think

I don't really get the timeline here. Do you mean she is pulling the disappearing act again, that this is the second time she's done this?

None of this is normal whatsoever. It's not about having a liberal attitude towards nudity or cultural difference - it's about a young girl with inappropraite sexual behaviour and a mother who enables that. I am shocked you're still dating this woman. I would have ended it at the first sign that mom was such a piss-poor parent.

I once tried to date a woman who claimed to like pain as part of the experience. She wanted to be slapped across her thighs and butt, and bitten during intercourse. Afterward should told me that I hadn't done it hard enough. it sounded like something that would be kinky and freaky, but was actually just upsetting. I was worried that it was some kind of trauma from previous abuse. We made love twice. For the 2nd time she told me that unless she was literally crying in pain that I wasn't doing it right. I actually felt physically and emotionally ill. My biggest fear was that I might actually start to enjoy it. Don't do it.