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How many more people do you need to hear from? Everyone so far has said you are doing the right thing, which I hope you know in any case. You should calmly let your daughter know that she will be serving her Saturday detention and then don't engage any further on this topic. The fact that she is continuing to whine and beg tells me she has used this tactic before successfully. Nip that in the bud.

What I am really asking is: what's makig you doubt yourself on this?

Has she asked for your help? I dare say that most of this isn't any of your business.

Well, I wouldn’t accept cheating, of course. Occasional remarks about some guy’s sexiness would be okay. Except that “handsome waiter to kiss” strikes me as somewhat shallow. “A genius man in my profession whom I admire and would totally sleep with if I were single” is more like my partner’s style, for example. To me, it sounds like your friend is using superficial sexualized language to hide more serious issues. Maybe she feels guilty or unloved or sexually unsatisfied or something like that.

not really my daughter is quite well behaved and she works hard at school, i had a chat or lecture with her last night, i said to her i cant understand why she skipped the normal detention as she knew it would lead to a satuday detention, she said it was a spur of the moment thing, all her friends were going bowling, and she didnt want to be detained , she got it into her head that no one would notice and she would escape punishment. I explained that skipping a detention is NOT acceptable and now she must pay by missing the party to attend the detention, i said that is the punishment, as you can expect my daughter is not happy she has just found out she still has to serve the original 1 hour 30 minute detention this friday then back to school on the satuday to serve her other detention, i have to listen to another 2 or 3 days of her begging me to lie for her to get her out of it, i am refusing, i have also warned her i may impose my own punishment yet, i have told her that after her detention on friday evening she will NOT be going out she will stay in , and iron her school shirt, i believe i am doing the right thing i just want other parents opinions please ?

It’s because we’re pretty religious and I know someone who decided to get married within first three dates and then got married after three months.

Maybe she's secretly gay and dribbles on about men in a sexual way to hide it. Or maybe she's just a bit obsessed and creepy about guys.

Hi everyone! I'm a woman in her 30's and I would like to ask a question. A friend of mine, she has always defined as a "weak". What does weak mean? It has always been very easy for her, going to new places and discovering "attractive guys". By this I mean that if she and my other female friends went on a trip, then her would remember the "cute entertainer" or if we went to the restaurant, there would be the "handsome waiter to kiss", or if we went to school, she would have "the handsome boy who she hoped would kiss her" or if we went to the nursery to bring our children, she would find "the very handsome super fit man" to comment to our female friends. Also, we know that she cheated on her partner, was forgiven, and in 10 years she got married with him, had kids, and yet she continues to have these hints and periods about those men she encounter in her life. On a psychological level, she's not like all the other girls who can find handsome guys and comment on them to herself, but she does it way too often, too openly, and it seems like she fixates on that guy until she finds one again. Or rather, we know that she is not cheating on her current boyfriend, but obviously we are not there to follow her in her life, but she has this behavior. She also reads a lot of romance novels but it seems like once she reads one, she becomes obsessed and reads the whole series at once, sometimes for 6 or 7 hours straight, or for days on end. She also told us how she uses some scenes and replicate those with her partner in the bed. We also noticed that when we were getting married, she really pushed for bachelor parties with muscular, gym-trained male strippers or something "sexy." We didn't do any of that, but we did something to be together. If you ever had a wife or girlfriend like that, would it be normal? We could call her a "keeper", she have amazing qualities, but this costant sexual thing on men is bothering us.. Also, is this part of some hypersexuality disorder or something to do with "daddy issues" due to intermittent attention and validation from her father? What we know is that her father and mother are two very hardworkers who go out of the house at 9am till 9pm. She's been raised by her grandmother/father mainly, and we can say her father was always there to have her needs satysfied. We would really like to know how this type of psychology works, and if we could do something to help her

Are you from a culture where marriage is generally discussed this early on? I'm wondering why this is part of your thought process so soon

Do you generally struggle with your daughter being upset with you? You seem to be very unsure of your own choices here.

I must admit her satuirday detention is going to be a harsh punishment, we live in england so my daughter must wear full school uniform , white shirt, tie , black blazer and black skirt, its says all punished students MUST be smartly dressed for saturday detention, collars done up tie neat , shirt ironed blazer buttoned up and black school shoes polished, they will then sit at their desks in TOTAL silence no phones etc, all students while then write an essay on why they are being punished, after 2 hours they get a 15 minute break , then back to their desks for another 2 hours, this time they must write an essay on what they have learned from saturday detention, i FULLY support my daughters school with these strict and harsh punishments, the school gets excellent exam results, there is very little bullying and the students are well behaved, in the long term i think my daughter will benifit from these strict rules and punishments do you agree ?

thank you wasnt sure if any parents would back me up, the main thing that makes me angry is she took it for granted that i would bail her out, i what sort of message does it send if i lie in writing so she can escape punishment, i know she has been looking forward to the party, but because of her poor behavour she cannot go and must serve her satuday detention, i know its a harsh punishment but she must learn. As today is only a wednesday i have another 2 days of my daughter whining and begging me to get her out of her punishment ?

Obviously, pushing for marriage after seeing each other grand total of 5 times is pure insanity. The question is, why would you even think of something as crazy as that? Simply considering marriage at this stage is way too early. If you ask me, a good way to progress this relationship would be to abandon any thoughts of marriage, keep dating, go beyond kissing, perhaps meet each other more often than once a week, get to know each other. Personally, I’d be incredibly stressed out if a woman I only went on 5 dates with and haven’t even had sex with introduced me to her relatives. That would actually be a red flag to me. I hope you really feel fine with that.

Hey everyone. I just wanted to drop back in to genuinely thank everyone who contributed. This could have ended so much differently if I approached this in a different way but thanks to the advice I'm now experiencing wonderful things without the need for anyone else. Some of the role playing and especially using the toys in public is oh my God, so incredibly hot. I have never had so much fun. A word of advice if I may for those that are ever in a situation like I was, don't look elsewhere, keep it with just your partner and spice things up like we've discussed in this post. Oh, and ladies, do yourself a favor and buy yourself a vibrating toy that's controlled by a cell phone and let your partner control it in public. You will thank me later. He actually made me squirt once when were at a bar playing pool. I was so embarrassed but luckily I was wearing dark pants otherwise it would have looked like I peed myself. So once again, thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart. You have helped make me extremely happy.

I first matched with this girl online in late November 2025 and we’ve been dating about once every week. We enjoy kissing deeply every date, and she introduced me to her mom in fifth date. I don’t want to mess up this relationship for pushing marriage too early, so how should I progress this relationship?

You seem like someone with a good head on her shoulders. You can surely find a man who doesn't come dragging a boatload of red flags you have try to convince yourself to accept or ignore.

Don't lie for her. Lying for her would really teach her a horrible lesson. Sitting somewhere for four hours ain't gonna kill her. Can she bring a book? It'd be great if they ban her from scrolling on her phone for that time so she can do something more meaningful. Lying for her REALLY teaches her she can and will get her way and pay no consequences even when she flagrantly violates a rule. It teaches her spoiled entitlement that her parents SHOULD cover for her. I can't tell you how twisted that is. And that attitude can easily get her into major major---far worse--trouble later in life. Now, if you were living in some cruel dictatorship that randomly picked up your daughter and had a reputation of torturing people and disappearing people, sure, the rules of good parenting are different. But the school isn't a cruel dictatorship. It has a policy, it announced the policy. I'm not hearing that your daughter protested the policy. She just wants to be able to violate it at her whim. The tension you will have with her will pay off in the long term. She'll come around. One of my best friends growing up was incredibly tight with his mom, who NEVER set limits on him. It was almost like she was in love with him (I know that sounds strange). Well this guy ended up in jail for a serious felony. I mean my friend was so talented and went to great schools. Ever since he landed in jail, I have been quietly thinking about how he ended up there. We used to make fun (among ourselves) of people who committed violent crimes. But he was never forced to pay for violating a limit. I know it sounds alarmist, but people often wonder how could a "good" person steal money, cheat when they grew up in a good family. Well when that person has always gotten away with cheating and scamming, they keep cheating and scamming. And by the way, one lesson of this situation is that the punishment ain't killer. It's not going to kill her. She might see a friend there and they have a good time. Who knows? You are doing her no favors to lie for her. Oh when YOU lie for her, deep down she will lose moral respect for YOU!

I think she needs to fully feel the consequences of her actions. Getting her out of this would send a really bad message. If she didn't want to get detention then she should have thought about that before misbehaving in school. You shouldn't get her out of this.

She is married, whether it is a happy marriage or not. It is a waste of your time to sit around trying to make plans to be with someone who is married to someone else and who is not available. Focus on finding someone else.

As much as you may like this woman, there's a reason why she never went after you and married to another man. She saw you as a friend and that's it, nothing more or less. She may have appeared interested, but it was her being nice. Now, there isn't necessarily being friends with the opposite sex if it's under the right circumstances. The primary one is there's no mutual romantic feelings towards each other. You must have that. I can understand if love grows, but it must be between both parties, not one. Anyway, the point is she saw you as a friend and that's it. She married another man, regardless if her father was an influence or not. It was her decision, in the end, and she accepted this man that's now her husband. I have a friend who was giving off signals and we even went out, nut, ultimately, she had her eyes on another man who abused her and still ended up getting engaged to him because he had a lot of money. They're no longer together, but it tells me what she's looking for and it's not a guy like me. So as much as you criticize the husband of this woman, there's obviously another reason why she's with him and at some point you just need to admit that she was more invested in this guy than you. It hurts, I know. I've been there and it's in no way, shape, or form fun nor satisfying. I've been through it several times before realizing that many women today (not all) don't have much interest in us. Just a simple fact. The only way we can only get recognized by many of them at all is if you're in great physical shape, you look good, and have decent social status. Money's a nice bonus to them, so if they're getting the guys they want, a good chunky income will attract them, even if they don't feel anything for them romantically. Again, as I said, it's not all women and not even suggesting that it is. To some optimistic extent, I'd say the majority of women still want actual good men with with good morals and values. However, the growing number of females wanting those "top percentage" men is preventing regular guys from even trying anymore. Believe me when I get that the women that are taken you'd wish were one of yours. I have women who are friends of mine and they're married, but they are what I was looking for in a woman. Nice, feminine, respectful, loyal, same values/beliefs/morals, attractive (to me). Seems like, at times, the good ones are swept up quick, you know? But when having to deal with reality, to admit that they belong to another man is a tough thing to say. Even then, at this stage in the game, I don't have any romantic feelings towards them and their husbands are good guys, so it's not bad at all, and I met them well after they were married. This lady friend of yours may seem like she's interested in you, but rest assured, she's not. Doesn't mean you can't remain friends with her. By all means, be respectful. I just wouldn't advise being her close friend. Even though I have good female friends, they're not what I call close. Truth be told, I wouldn't reveal much to a woman because, honestly, many of them don't care, even if you have known each other your whole life. They know you but don't get you. It's better to open up to your family, anyway, because they understand you. In particular, your parents. Overall, though, it's difficult today with many women because they make it hard for us on whether or not they like us, unless they make it blatantly obvious. You don't sound like an unreasonable person. You're trying to focus on your goals in life, so if the day comes that you get a family of your own you can pass it on the same values to the next generation. That's good, as anyone should, especially men. However, if I were you, I wouldn't wait on this woman. You don't know how long she's going to be with this man. She could legitimately love him and it's not displayed in such a way. Don't assume she doesn't love him. She also has a kid, and when there's no particular problem helping out a child, if dad's in the picture, he should be doing the majority of the heavy lifting, not you. I understand that her dad is wealthy, but he would still expect that the man would take care of the kid. for the most part. Lastly, as mentioned before, she sees you as a friend, not a lover. I'm not trying to tear you down or anything, and could be 1000% wrong (and I hope I'm wrong and she treats you with total respect), but I've seen and experienced this enough to know that if she wanted you, she would have chased you. Let's just say if she did divorce from this man and you two started going out casually. It's easy to say that you wouldn't put up with disrespect from a woman you really like, but you sound like old me. Now, you shouldn't have to deal with disrespect, but the way you're talking about this woman, again, no disrespect, it's as if you're kind putting her up on a higher pedestal than where she actually belongs. When the time came if she did disrespect you to your face and possibly others, you'd take it because that's the woman you want. In addition to that, there's a fear of losing her and never getting the idea of the woman you want. As I said earlier, you don't sound like an unreasonable person. However, just because you may be very reasonable, doesn't mean you're immune to unreasonable actions. If you ultimately want my advice on what I would do if she were divorced, it's simple: don't pursue. Not worth the trouble. If she's (seemingly) sending you signals while she's married, she's more disloyal to others than what you may think. She may care for her child, but she won't care much for you, other than as an ATM and a babysitter. My brother was treated like that with his first wife, and she was divorced with 2 kids, who she didn't have custody of. Their marriage only lasted 6 months after he discovered she cheated on him with an old friend of his, she accused of doing things he didn't do and accused him of not doing enough (even though he paid the bills, watched her kids, provided the cash, and provided for the apartment they stayed at), and was about to steal from him. This isn't every divorced woman, but there's enough of them out there that do and makes it difficult to wife one up who may not be like my brother's ex. If she's a friend, fine, but that would be the furthest I'd go with someone like that. You don't know the all the details of how the divorce went down because you're only hearing one side. Back to my brother's first marriage, he ran into the ex-husband and gave his side of the story after my brother and this woman got divorced. Lined up exactly the same way my brother experienced it. Point is the man in your story that the woman you like is married to, you don't know him. He could be a good man and maybe just an introvert. With that in mind, you don't know how the relationship is actually going, but if she's treating him like garbage I wouldn't dunk on him. I'd feel bad for the guy because his own wife is openly disrespecting him. If you think she wouldn't do the same to you, that's foolish thought. She will not hesitate to do the same to you. If a highly attractive man was in the picture, she would probably be treating him so much better because it's who she wants. So to conclude, you would be better off finding someone else, if that's what you want. Honestly, a better idea is to continue focusing on your life and build it up so if the right woman were to come along she will love, respect, and be loyal to you. Your time and energy is valuable, and it would be better spent to focus on your goals, as you said earlier. Do that instead. Don't make women the main prize. You will lose at that game. My advice would be to also workout, get into shape, get involved with a physical sport like hobby, focus on making more money, spend more time with family and friends (make new ones), and get out into the world more. Focus on you first and get your house in order. If the right woman does come along, you won't have the hassle nor the baggage to deal with. As for this woman, let her deal with her life and you deal with yours. She's not a part of it. Your family is and so are your closest friends. Remember that.

I appreciate you. I'm going to soak in your words and decide what to do. Thank you for your time

When you're playing tit-for-tat like this and you've barely started dating the person...the relationship has a poor prognosis. I don't mean to be unkind, but this is totally unrealistic and usually what people ignoring their screaming gut instinct try to do. Why? Well, quite simply, you can't unknow what you already know about him. He cant unsay the things he's said to you. He can't undo his past. Wiping the slate clean is deeply flawed concept because it's not realistic to expect these issues to suddenlly not be issues anymore. How have you even come to that conclusion, though? You two haven't spent much time together in person and it's already evident there are indeed some big red flags about him. it sounds to me like you have gotten over-invested in the idea of him and are trying to make reality fit the idea. It is. Decent men don't randomly start spouting off about their sex lives to women they're just messaging online. That is inappropriate on so many levels. Eh, I think this is an excuse. He just sounds gross, unfortunately. And perhaps it's worked with other women he's had sexy chats with online. But hoestly? I've known men who've behaved in similar ways and been sexually inappropriate out the gate. They're not the ones to date. I would not let the excitment of having a boyfriend override your common sense or gut instinct here.

When we first met it was on an online forum and he admitted he was mostly just messaging me because he was bored and horny. So he pretty much just said whatever the f*** he thought was hot, without thinking about his audience. I admit that I had no intention of ever dating him and was mostly just talking to him to ask him questions about his country (he lives in a different one than me) and thought it was gross then but just continued to use him for information since I was planning a trip there soon. Unfortunately, I caught feelings for him though and it was after that that I realized how gross it was. He's never been single since he was 18 and very obviously had not clue how to talk with women at all. Last night I had a talk with him and randomly told him some sex details between myself and my ex. He got really upset about it, and I told him that in the beginning of our talking, he told me a bunch of details about his ex without asking. This morning, he told me he was having gross thoughts about my ex and I, he didn't like hearing those details and it kept him up at night a bit. I told him how he understands how I feel about him sharing all the gory details without my consent. I told him I want to move on from all that and start brand new with him, and he agreed. He knows now that if he shared that information, I'll share mine and/or just block him altogether. The major red flag was that we started talking in May, he was separated then, however he didnt tell me he hadn't filed for divorce. Part of that was my fault though, as I hadn't asked for details on it. I lost my s*** in August and told him I no longer wanted to speak to him. He sent me a copy of his divorce application the next day (it was legit) and told me he was waiting on her to file with him. He realized that wasn't going to happen until after I told him to stop talking to me. Since then, he's been very transparent with his divorce proceedings and is aware that I'll easily drop him if he omits information. Honestly, other than those two glaring red flags (swinging and him being married still) he's really a decent guy and ticks most of my boxes. I've kind of decided to give him a timeline in my head though and if he's not single and gives me any whiff of wanting to go back to his old ways, I'll be gone.

Yep. Its something Ive done a lot of reflecting on in the last few years. Ive come to believe that people are misled to think that you just need a "positive mindset". But you see many people on the other end of the spectrum who are overly jolly, telling everyone around them to cheer up if they're looking the least bit sad or down. Those people are struggling as well but in a different way. If you are analytical, somewhat rigid and prone to negative judgements you are not going to change yhe nature of your wiring, but you can stop taking your catastrophic thoughts less seriously and recognise they are probably not a good reflection of reality. Rather than the whole happy clappy mindset rubbish the real aim should be non-judgement. Accept all your feelings, if you feel s*** sit with it but dont let it lead to sweeping conclusions about you. your future or life/people as a whole. Then the next step is action. Go after what you want, but don't accept anything that leaves you short-changed. And I think in fairness OP has done this by giving this relationship a go, that deserves credit. You see so many posts on here along the lines of "I'm a 40 y/o virgin who never leaves the house and plays video games all day, how do I meet the love of my life?", and they've pretty much answered their own question because nothing happens if you don't act. I think where you're falling down, OP, is that you're too stuck on your vision for anyone to really fit it at the moment, and when you meet someone who very obviously doesn't fit like your ex you try to mould the situation rather than quickly accepting this one didn't work and nothing could be done. By getting more comfortable with life's flow and all the uncomfortable randomness it brings, you can free yourself up to find where you actually need to be. In other words throw the whole life vision out the window, relinquish the need for control and do more active observing rather than judging based on your pre-set criteria, both of yourself and others.

Do you even bother looking these things up before spouting them? https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/settle-down says that you are quite wrong. settle down phrasal verb with settle verb (MAKE HOME) C1 to start living in a place where you intend to stay for a long time, usually with your partner: B2 (also settle into somewhere) to become familiar with a place and to feel happy and confident in it