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Insisting on a rematch just makes you a poor loser.

I got four lines in and then saw "He has a Napoleon complex and is a self proclaimed male chauvinist. On the 4th of July he introduced me to his mother and his 2 adult daughters. So far, so good". Did he tell you this about himself early on?

The thing is we both agreed to allow groin attack just like wwe but I never thought she would really take me down so fast with just a low blow. So on this note do you think she did the right thing to win? How can you be so sure that she will beat me again if I rematch?

You could offer her a rematch, but do you really want to be beaten again? Give her the $2000 and wish her luck on her shopping trip

How many more times does she need to have unpredictable meltdowns and trash you over nothing in order for you to recognize "beyond repair or reasoning"? Is a future tied to that behavior something you envision just because she was able to keep it under wraps while on her best behavior for a few months? This woman turns you into an enemy on a dime out of the blue and for no 'real' reason beyond whatever she makes up in her head during a mood. Is that what you want to tie your future to, and is that who you want raising YOUR children?

Basically I challenged my wife to beat me in wwe style wrestling match and baited I would give her any prize if she won. We played it in three rounds. First round she got me with scissors lock, I tapped. I made the comeback on the second round but on the third round when I dropped her with piledriver, I took a moment to showboat which was really stupid, she took the chance and straight up placed an uppercut low blow between my legs as hard as she could, instantly rolled me over, pinned me down, counted to three but I couldn’t even move. She was celebrating and laughing at me. Now she is asking for 2 grand for shopping. Should I accept or, request her for a rematch? Do you think she won fairly?

Maybe give yourself 3 more months to collect your thoughts, before deciding if you can actually forgive and rebuild your marriage or if this is a deal breaker. I wish you all the best.

Is she showing true remorse or just regret from being caught ? Also 20 seconds is a long time, maybe she has a fetish for these kinds of things , especially adding to the fact it was in the marital bed despite being the "first time" . I recommend you both do individual counseling before you continue couple's so you can gather your thoughts and emotions before making a decision, that being if you want to stay in the marriage or move on. Nothing is wrong with either choice but make sure you're wife is actually remorseful and is willing and determined to get the helps she needs (through individual counseling, reading books about affair recovery etc) to become a safe and healthy partner before you attempt reconciliation otherwise you are setting yourself up for more hurt in the future. Maybe you could also do a trial separation to see what it really is what you want and if you can be content with living without your wife.

It could be childhood sexual abuse, insecure leading her to seek validation from other men, dopamine addiction and the taboo of it all, mid-life crisis, the affair was an escape from her real life etc things like that. Just know the problem lies in her.

Hot tubs aren't particularly big, and whatever these womens' intentions were is their deal rather than you or your boyfriend's. Maybe they thought he was cute and were flirting, sure, but what matters more is how active he was in the whole thing and you don't really have the context for that. In his position to be honest he's probably there just to enjoy the hot-tub, he doesnt know these women or what these intentions are. I feel like it would be extremely awkward to suddenly stand up and move to the other side of the pool, unless they were actively harrassing him or something. It seems to me you are telling yourself a big story about your boyfriend's ability to be faithful around attractive women, without much context or evidence that he was really doing anything suspect, and there are a lot more innocent explanations that are far more likely. Now I'm not saying it's impossible that he was out of line or deliberately placed himself there to flirt, or whatever, but you dont know that. I think it's also worth keeping in mind the bit where you say "he saw that I was mad and got out", if being in the vicinity of attractive women in general is going to provoke a reaction every time it happens, it's going to wear away at him over time and create resentment.

This is another indicator that this wasn't a very healthy connection, though. Sure, people get angry sometimes and say things they don't mean. But when you add this pattern to the fact that you two were mostly a secret and didn't see each other much..well, it never amounted to the stuff relationships with a good survival rate are made of. You will need time to get used to the idea that this person is not your future, but I think you will be better off for it in the long run.

This is possible too, of course. But it was mentioned before, so there wasn't any point in me repeating it... and with a 5-year relationship I think it makes sense to consider all possibilities.

I still think the most likely explanation for all this comes from the bit in OP when he mentioned that things were getting more serious and he was thinking of buying a ring. I think its pretty common for people to coast for years in a relationship they're not truly comfortable with, and then when it comes to a big fork in the road like getting married or deciding to have kids, sometimes they don't have the emotional capacity or self-awareness to express their feelings like an adult. So the solution becomes go absolutely off your rocker and blow the whole thing up. That way they can justify the fallout by their partner's perceived bad behaviour and it's a bit more of a "comfortable" escape with less soul-searchings and emotionally vulnerable conversations.

You are 21 and you won't date anyone "a day older"? I mean, that sounds pretty immature to me, but if that's what you need, then eh, sure. You're obviously going to be restricting yourself significantly, because you can pretty much only date people who are 18-20yo (and that's not even considering your other requirements...). Also most women who hear about this "requirement" are going to ditch you even if they fulfill it, so you'll have that to contend with as well. At the end of the day, you have the right to set any "requirements" that you want. Heck you can require the women you date to have names that only start with "A" and have 3 syllables, if you choose to do so! But your choices will have consequences, and those consequences will include taking a much longer time to find your first relationship, possibly never. Also, lots of people go into relationships expecting them to be the "one", but 99% of people's first relationships will crash and burn. Relationships are kinda like learning to ride a bike - you can theorize about it as much as you like, but actually DOING it for the first time in real life will teach you more than any theory you could possibly come up with.

Has she really never behaved like this before? Being on her best behavior is a thing, but people don't usually wait 5 years to show you their true colors. If this genuinely has NEVER happened before, and then it was like a switch was flipped, it sounds more like a medical issue, honestly. Is it possible that she could be pregnant? If she has mental health issues that were previously under control, sometimes the flood of hormones can trigger pre-existing conditions. There are also extremely rare conditions like brain tumors that can completely alter a person's personality. This is something that a quick trip to the doctor could check for. If she's unwilling to even go to the doctor, I'd just leave. If you look back at her history with you and you find small indicators of this having happened before, I would also just leave.

If it's a problem for you that he is sitting next to other people in a topless hot tub, then you two need to not go to a place where people can be topless in hot tubs. Hot tubs aren't massive, there's usually not a lot of space in them to begin with, being shoulder to shoulder happens! You can't just agree to an activity and then assume that the other person knows exactly what is allowed or disallowed in that activity. Next time talk to him ahead of time, or just don't visit topless places in the future.

It's not a matter of whether you believe her or not. It's even possible that SHE believes herself, so she might not even be lying to you. People aren't always aware of what their subconscious mind is saying to them - but like @FredEire says, there's obviously something that is causing her to hesitate. The issue here is just that there is no way that the two of you are compatible. Besides the fact that you two don't even seem to really like each other... she wants kids before getting married and you (understandably) don't, and you want to get married before having kids and she (understandably) doesn't. Waiting doesn't work for either of you because waiting will prevent her from having biological kids. Frankly the best solution here, if you two were to stay together, is probably her getting a sperm donor ASAP while you two give your relationship time to develop organically... but I suspect you aren't going to be too keen on that, so that's probably a "no" too. At this point you've exhausted all possible options, so it's really best for both of you to break things off as soon as possible. Then she can get what she wants with a donor, and you can get what you want with another person.

You are under-reacting. This man should have been out of your life ages ago. Girl. It is all an act on his part. This man is the furthest thing from Godly, and he's showed you that again and again. You need to stop falling for his BS, to be very blunt. These are meaningless words and gesures from him. Don't marry him. It will be the biggest mistake of your life. And I would urge you to get some counselling for yourself. It sounds like you have no concept of what a healthy relationship should look like, and that you don't value yourself very much. If you did, you wouldn't tolerate such nonsense and you would have kicked him to the curb a while ago. You are worth more and deserve better, but it doesn't seem that you get how dysfunctional and toxic this all is.

One single day over a 5 year period does not make for an abusive relationship. There is NO WAY that this is the first time she has attacked you out of immature and petty jealousy. No way. You're either blocking out the previous incidents and or ignoring a bunch of nasty and petty stuff she has done. If this is a one time thing, she should have no problem, no hesitancy, in loudly and contritely admitting her mistake and apologizing with great humility. With no defensiveness. Doesn't sound like her, does it? There is one other possible motive to this insanity on her part. Which is that she could have deliberately attacked you because she wants to break up with you---she just doesn't have the guts to tell you directly. There are people who instead of directly breaking up they act out to destroy the relationship. They might do this when they cheat on their partner.

I'm glad you raised this and it made me think. Yes, I think I would still think the same. There would still be no reason for them to sit so tight to each other and sure any accidental boob contact would be covered but I'd still wonder why they didn't spread out.

I need to explain myself better. I don't care that they were topless, I care that when he had the chance he didn't move away from being shoulder to shoulder with them, so much so that every time one of them moved the boobs would touch him. It's about that contact and the fact it could have been avoided. If when I came the hot tub was full and he was squeezed up with them I would understand but when I got there there were other seats to move to which would make more sense that staying squeezed up in between to women. As for them, I'm not sure of their intentions. Why would they sit so close to a random guy after there was room in the tub? I would think most people would at least a foot away just for comfort if nothing else.

Her biological clock is basis all the issues in your relationship, so it's very much your problem. She doesn't have the time to let things develop organically.....and honestly my last response to you could be summed up with "if you don't want what she wants, then don't waste her time"

Of course when you're in a relationship you should be supportive of your partner. That's not what I was talking about. When someone has a behavioral problem, the drive to work on it and fix it has to come from that person themselves. If you think you can "fix" your partner's issues you are seriously kidding yourself. You only have control of your own behavior, not someone else's.

Has he met anyone?

So, I am going to guess this is not the first time something like this has happened? Because this isn't something "people" are "always" doing - but it sounds like your boyfriend pushes your boundaries. Is that a more accurate statement? So whose idea was it to go to Tata-Town for your anniversary? That was certainly... a choice.