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  1. Today
  2. I find it very strange that you are so concerned with the behavior of a coworker. She hasn’t been behaving inappropriately with you, has she? Then why are you so obsessed with her potentially flirty behavior with other men? Why the weirdly detailed analysis, complete with astrological mumbo-jumbo?
  3. I am asking myself questions about the meaning of some behaviors and words of a colleague at work. I am wondering if it is pure conversation and a desire to be frienfly or flirting in the romantic sense or flirting for the sake of flirting? As a general presentation, it is a 59-year-old woman, married. In turn, I am married, I am 38 years old, I specify from the very beginning that there is no question of any romantic relationship, either currently or in the past, with the person in question. I am not pursuing any interest of any kind. She is the female colleague with who I work on the same tasks, with who I collaborate best for over 7 years. I myself campaigned alongside the manager at the time for her to join our team, knowing that she is a hardworking person. Below are some situations to give you an idea of her personality (by the way, she is a Gemini): - when we walk in the hallways or in the yard, if she sees a colleague from a distance, she greets him/her and even waves; - she talks a lot about any topic and gets into conversations with colleagues from other departments, asks for details, asks questions in parallel fields that she has no competence or connection to and likes to say that she would be good at those fields here too, getting into a lot of trouble; - she makes repetitive jokes or if she gets fixated on an idea, a phrase, she repeats it for days in a row in various contexts; - when she worked in another department, she would go to other departments to gather information and do her job, an opportunity she used to criticize some of her colleagues and complain that she didn't get along with them; - from the departments where she left, she worked in two more places, she kept arguing with her colleagues whom she criticized throughout the building. - she is not liked or accepted very well by others due to her behaviour. Now, situations that may or may not be flirting: In the past, an unmarried colleague, 5 years younger than her, who made rather inappropriate jokes with almost all his female colleagues, had started to address her as a "little kitten". Totally inappropriate in the work environment. She never said anything to him. Moreover, one morning she told him in the hallway that he seemed asleep and he kissed her on the cheek. She didn't say anything, she laughed a little. Very akward situation for the others. Another time, she was talking to him about various things related to the job and joking, and I noticed that they looked into each other's eyes for a long time in silence. Another young female colleague saw that too and asked me after if our player male colleague knows that our female colleague is married (he knew that because she told her). Another time, without any connection, she told him in the hallway that she was angry with him for not taking her intoaccount, what wasn't true. This male colleague criticized her behind her back and said she was not good at anything and she always came to him to ask for information to do her job. Years passed, there was nothing between them, now she barely speaks to him anymore, finding out how he criticized her to other colleagues. We have a colleague who works in another field, in our office, who is single, has never been married. In addition to the fact that she talks to him a lot and asks him for information about his work, which is not related to her work, she once asked him how old he was and when he said 58 years old she said she thought he was somewhere around 50. This colleague always wears a T-shirt, goes to the gym, has a normal to athletic physique although he does not have prominent biceps. Another colleague, also 60 years old, told her about this colleague that he wears a T-shirt to impress younger colleagues and she commented that she had no concerns about his age. In various circumstances, the person I am talking about said that she is old in her 59 y.o. age, as if expecting compliments from other colleagues that she looked much younger and so on. The others refrained from commenting. Sometimes in situations where she upset me with what she said to me, small things related to daily activity, I withdrew and did not talk to her that day, did I not take her into account? Being a Gemini, this annoys her the most and later told me this that I was uppset on her and didn't talk to her... Reading all of the above, does it seem to you that this is flirting or a desire to communicate and always be the center of attention specific to the Gemini sign?
  4. Yesterday
  5. This is not a relationship that will last. He will never meet that super high standard you want, he’s just a normal guy. you should realise the fact you are incompatible and wasting each other’s time. Your prince has not arrived just yet, be patient.
  6. Hi all, I posted here in September about a man I dated for months who liked me but didn’t want a relationship as he wasn’t 100% sure he wants one. He wanted to stay friends. I was so sad about this and unsure what to do. So, I tried this “friendship”. He came over a few Saturday evenings. Stayed until late in the night. The third Saturday he kissed me and we had sex. I feel so stupid. Because he later said it was the alcohol that lowered his boundaries. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you were right. I went no contact two weeks ago. This dynamic totally ruined my self esteem. I need to feel what I want and need. Any of you also started no contact recently and want to keep each other strong?
  7. Gebidozo

    Am I selfish or is it valid?

    I don’t understand what you’re waiting for. Divorce him. Life is too short to waste it on someone who emotionally manipulates you like this.
  8. Sanch62

    Am I selfish or is it valid?

    I'd just have my lawyer send him divorce papers.
  9. little_wish

    Am I selfish or is it valid?

    No. We are still married. We have been fine couple of months ago but the moment he went back to his parents house in his hometown, he stopped answering my calls. I hate this and his family is manipulative, may be so is he. Each and every time this happens, I am expected to visit him and comfort him, coax him and I am sick of this. We don't have any kids right now. I haven't done anything and I have only ever been with him in my life so far.
  10. Mainly it's because while she told me that about her husband she also told me about what some of her other experiences were like after her and her husband split. I wasn't the first guy she had sex with after her and her husband divorced. She was very open about her sexual experiences both good and bad and what turned her on
  11. Why would you think she went down on you a lot more than she went down on her husband? If it's because she told you she wasn't all that into him and the sex was rare and not all that great, you really should be aware that lots of women say this sort of thing to the new guy to make him feel special and there's no truth to it whatsoever.
  12. Last week
  13. Even for a middle aged married couple no sex would usually mean a relationship that was lacking and often times is a road to an affair and/or divorce happening. Some of the most horny women I have dated were involved in marriages where there was little or no sex. I made a joke to one of them one time that you have probably spent more time going down on me in the couple months we have been seeing each other then you did in the twenty some years you were married to your husband.
  14. Gebidozo

    Am I selfish or is it valid?

    If I understood correctly, you and your husband are separated (divorced?), and now he doesn’t answer your calls? Why are you calling him? Do you have kids? I don’t understand what your parents have to do with this. Of course you shouldn’t contact your husband if you don’t want to. Why do they expect you to go and “comfort” your husband? Did you do something bad to him - cheated on him or something like that?
  15. little_wish

    Am I selfish or is it valid?

    Sorry I was not in the right frame of mind. I want to run far away and cut off all the communications. My husband went back to his hometown and I went back to mine. Sorry my mind is a mess right now. I lost contact with my husband and he wouldn't pick my calls. He could just keep me know what's going on. I am in a place where women should always cater to their husbands
  16. Get to know all 3 of them over time. Once you feel more relaxed around one another, you won't feel like you're under a microscope. Then you can ask to speak with her out of range of the other two without it being a big deal. Getting to know as many classmates as possible is always an advantage. Don't wait until you have an agenda to be more social in general. It makes everything easier.
  17. I think a focus on making someone into a villain will surely get you your villain.
  18. Sanch62

    Not sure how he feels.

    Watch the actions, not the lips. Talk is cheap. If he doesn't back up what he 'says' with actions, then he's full of BS.
  19. So glad to hear this. Lots of times nasty people will hang themselves if you leave them alone and let them use enough of their own rope. Congrats!
  20. I wouldn't go down this route. It sounds like the mindset that doesn't accept that 'no' means 'no'.
  21. Not all people are mature and not all people are "normal". Some people use tricks to trap other people. I'm not encouraging it, I'm just trying to give an explanation as to why the OP's GF behaved like this.
  22. As a matter of fact I did wait and my boss did call me and offered me the closer position 36 hours a week. I am so happy! Thanks to everyone here who took the time to write to me!!
  23. At 24 years old, you are planning to spend the rest of your life with this person when the sex life has already died out? You two don't sound compatible. If there is no sex life, then you are just friends. You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. There are many other great people out there who you may be able to have a much more fulfilling relationship with. This possible solution of opening up the relationship doesn't sound like something you're entirely comfortable with, and the idea came from her, not you. It doesn't sound like something you even want to do. Why not just look for someone who you could have a healthy, normal relationship with, rather than try to force this to work. If you were a middle-aged married couple, that would be one thing, but you are 24 years old for goodness sake. This is really kind of insane.
  24. I’ve never met a woman like that, never heard of one either. If this is really the type of women that is attracted to you and that you’re attracted to, I advise you to try and figure out why you’re unable to work out a relationship with a normal, mature person.
  25. You can't process a claim unless and until you are laid off. Filing a claim prematurely will prompt the UIS will send your employer a request to confirm termination, and it wouldn't be a good look for your employer to receive that without having fired you. Pipe down, go to your next scheduled workday and play it through. Maybe you'll get a call from them offering you more hours.
  26. ShyViolet

    Not sure how he feels.

    You need to trust your gut on this one. You are seeing multiple signs that this guy isn't serious about you, he isn't interested in properly dating you, only keeping it super casual and keeping his options open. Stop wasting your time with this guy.
  27. ExpatInItaly

    Not sure how he feels.

    He can't "use" you without your participation. You are seeing he doesn't have much interest in dating you. If he did, well, you'd be going on dates. However, it sounds as though that isn't happening. It is up to you to draw your own boundaries and not see or sleep with him anymore if this arrangement isn't working for you.
  28. I’m a 37F and have been causally seeing 52M for a few months. He texts often but sometimes it dwindles. I know I shouldn’t care but I notice he adds a lot of women on his social media, some local to us, some from where he’s originally from. I ask him if anything is going on with any of these other women and he tells me they’re only friends. I have told him if he sleeps with these women he needs to tell me as I don’t want to be used. He keeps saying we’ll go for meals or days out etc but so far it hasn’t happened. I think deep down I know I need to stop seeing him as I’m starting to feel jealous when he adds women on his social media and I don’t want to feel like that. He tells me he likes me a lot and wants to keep seeing me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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