All Activity

You’re only 30. I’m 50 and still in a relatively new relationship (3 years). Anything can happen. Try not to carry the negative attitude with you when you do go on dates.

I hope the automatic English-Russian translation that the OP is using will be able to adequately convey your patented sarcasm

If you're going to stay with this child get a good set of headphones and play music or a podcast while you're home to block out the juvenille stupity. In fact you can specifically listen to infomercials about how to choose better partners.

Stay with this guy. He's a controlling ass but some day he could be a Major League ballplayer.

There is no way this is a factual statement. If it is your ex was a fool. But you wrote it twice on this thread which makes me think it is. WTF was she thinking

You're a doctor and presumable earning good money so I'm not understanding why you're struggling financially and can't live in a decent place. As to your dating and relationship failures and frustrations, why do you think so many others have enjoyed success and you haven't? Find the reasons and work on eliminating them.

Wow!

I feel so sad, I don't know what to do. I've just returned from a trip to see my brother, his wife and their lovely newborn. They have the perfect house, in a lively, exciting city. They both have good jobs and substantially out-earn me. I'm the only single person in my family, my friend group and anyone I know at work. I'm a doctor, working long hours, doing my best. I can't afford to buy, so I'm renting a shitty apartment in a run down area, so I'm close to work. I live by myself. I've never felt so low as I do tonight. Seeing my brother and his little family made me realise how I'm never going to have that for myself (or the odds are reducing rapidly year after year). I'm 30 and haven't been in a relationship since I was 24. Due to the way medical training in the UK works, I've moved to a new town or city at least every year since I was 22 (sometimes up to 3 or 4 times per year). I've changed departments more times than I can count. I say this to illustrate that I constantly have a feeling of being unsettled. My ex boyfriends are all now married/engaged/have children. I feel like a failure. I've tried putting myself out there on dating apps and in real life for years, but honestly I've found the whole process depressing as hell. I don't know what to do. I hope that this is just a phase because I'm usually very happy being alone/have accepted it. Does it all just boil down to luck in the end? Some of us get to meet our match, but tough luck to the stragglers? I quite often find myself wanting life to be like it was when I was 19. When nobody had long term partners and I felt like I was competing on a level playing field. Now everyone I know seems to be building their own empire and this just gets worse as time goes on (empires being good job, long term partner, own home, children etc). I feel like I fall further and further behind. Just wondered if anyone had any advice to stop feeling so s*** about this? I'm doing what I can as a single person (good job, hobbies) but still feel so out of the race.

I don't quite get this, either. Are you trying to prove a point by refusing to be home with him when he's gaming? What's the reason you refuse to even be in another room? It seems both of you are contributors to the strange and strained dynamic between you, OP. I am also guessing there's a lot of backstory underpinning this. He was not being very considerate, and you were blowing it out of proportion and blaming him when you did not literally need to be outside the house the entire time.

It was very inconsiderate of him to keep playing while knowing that you were tired and needed to rest at home. It is generally quite strange that you stay outside when he is playing video games with friends. What exactly makes you so uncomfortable that you can’t even be in the same apartment with him when he is doing that?

Were you severely malnourished as a child or something? This is very unlikely related to diet. It's your genetics and nothing that more iron or B12 could have solved. This tells me you are not educated about where real malnurtition usually stems from in our modern diets. Not that many children are vegans and certainly there aren't enough to create an entire generation of people lacking essential vitamins and minerals. Your anger about this specific topic is completely misguided and woefully uninformed.

I’m hoping to just get some people’s thoughts on a series of related scenarios that have happened recently. I’m unsure how to feel about them. Last week I went on a trip and got very sick. My boyfriend didn’t come with me. He stayed home. He told me he would make sure the house was clean when I got home so I wouldn’t have to do anything. This was really sweet as I didn’t think I would be able to come home and clean the whole house while still recovering. As I’m writing this I still don’t feel recovered all the way. So, he picks me up from the airport and we go home. I’m drained and just want to lay down but I quickly unpack my stuff. As I do I notice there are several things (about half the tasks) that got missed when he cleaned. He got a little upset that I started cleaning but it needed to be done. We both started our work weeks the next day. I usually make lists for the cleaning but it was obvious stuff and we’ve lived together for over two years. I was a little frustrated he couldn’t have referenced an old checklist after telling me he would make sure I didn’t have to do anything and I could just rest. I spend most of the rest of that day and the next two evenings after work sleeping I could not stay awake. By the third da, Wednesday I was feeling better enough to ease back into going to the gym with my mom and eat when I got home. I told my boyfriend this. My boyfriend usually plays video games while my mom and I are at the gym. I detest being home while he does this, the way he and his friends behave when they play, the things they say make me feel really uncomfortable. He know this and all I ask from him is that he play while I’m away (which he and his friends did the whole time I was gone) and that they plan ahead so I can make plans to be out of the house. On this night before I left for the gym I told him I would be home at 7ish. I try to do this to give him time to get off the video game before I get home. While at the gym I missed a text from him asking if he could play games with a friend. When I got home exhausted and looking forward to a meal for the first time in 5 days they were playing. He said it wouldn’t be much longer so I said good because I was hungry, exhausted, and having super bad period cramps. I offered to take our dogs on a walk while he and his friend finished. They finished an hour and a half later. I stayed out the whole time because although I was doubled over crying from the pain and exhaustion and it was cold it was still the far better option than being home while he plays games. It hurt my feelings though that he knew I wasn’t feeling good and wanted to come home but still played for another hour and a half after telling me it wouldn’t be much longer. Especially after they had spend many evenings over the last week playing. He’s done this before when I haven’t been sick and I’ve expressed how it is better if they can make plans ahead of time so I can make plans too. Maybe I’m overreacting? I just can’t help but feel if our roles were reversed I would have had a warm bowl of soup waiting when he got home from the gym and knowing he was still recovering I wouldn’t have even considered playing games with a friend. I would have wanted to eat with him, see how he’s doing, and take care of him. So, now I need people’s thoughts please and thank you.

My BMI is 24. Not overweight. The main issue is my jawline didn’t grow forward enough. I blame today’s diets. Vegans and these “animal rights” activists make me sick. They’re creating a malnourished generation because plants don’t provide the tools for proper bone development. No B12 or Iron.

You seem to have a very different take on this thread than the rest of us do. The whole thing was about us giving you advice and you ignoring all of it

Oh thank you so much for your response, I'll try to do something about it

Irrelevant

You're getting lost here--this is not a close debate. He was a controlling, arrogant, insulting jerk. Now, he may have some good qualities, but clearly he has taken his own viewpoint on food way too seriously and judgmentally. I got to tell you this--you really want to get to the point where you do NOT question yourself about this kind of abusive and controlling behavior. He was clearly wrong. If you can't see that, then you're in for a world of trouble. He's going to continue to try to control you, and you won't stop it because you're doubting yourself. Please, work on this!!!

I don't know... maybe I'm wrong, but he did ask me not to drink energy drinks...

if he's still abusing and harassing her in this manner, she should be going to the police.

if you stay in this relationship, i'd guarantee it is only going to get worse about what he wants to control in your life. taking something from you and throwing it in the trash is a high level of disrespect, and none of this is "to protect your health"

Thanks for the answer! We've taken a break from communication so far, he hasn't called for the third day, although before that he called every day at the same time because of the regulations at the military school.… I don't want to part with him, and I even think that it is possible to solve this situation and I can somehow influence the other person's attitude towards me, but at the same time I understand that I am wrong.

You are not the jerk. He, on the other hand, is a controlling a**h***. I’m sorry, but what your parents say is utter nonsense. You are a grown up person who can decide for herself what you drink and what you smoke. Nobody has the right to control your life, especially in such a freakishly rude manner. I hope you broke up with this guy.

My boyfriend threw away my energy drink without even saying hello, and I left. Now am I the jerk? Hi everyone. I need an outside perspective, because I can no longer tell who’s in the wrong. I have a boyfriend — let's call him Dima. We've been together for over a year. He's at a military academy, so we see each other rarely. I wait for him for weeks, sometimes months. Recently, he finally got a leave. I came to see him. I just wanted to hug him, see him, be near him. He didn't even say hello. The first thing he did was notice the can of energy drink in my hand. He asked, "Would you be upset if I threw it away?" — then snatched it from me and tossed it in the trash. I was shocked. I told him I felt hurt. He started lecturing me about how bad energy drinks are for my health, about how I don't listen to him (since before this, he had said he was against smoking and energy drinks. Even before we got together, I used to smoke and drink energy drinks — after he spoke up, I cut back on the drinks and quit smoking). Then he asked: "What's more important to you — me or the energy drink?" I told him his actions were disrespectful. That I'm not a child. That he shouldn't make decisions for me. He said I don't appreciate his care. I got upset and left. He followed me. He said: "Come on, admit it — that was a good throw, right? Even you trying to catch the can didn't mess up its trajectory." He was proud of himself. Later, he texted me that he needed to think, and then didn't call for two days. My parents said he was right. That he's looking out for my health, and that I'm acting like a spoiled child. I understand that energy drinks are bad for you. I know he's worried. I've already cut back on them. But I can't accept that a reunion I'd waited months for started with a thrown-away can instead of a hug. That he didn't even say hello. That his "care" feels like control. That day, I hadn't slept well and wanted to make the most of our time together — plus, I'd been waiting for him outside for an hour because I arrived a bit early, so I bought the energy drink. Now I don't know if I'm right. Maybe I really am the jerk who doesn't appreciate someone caring for her? Or did he cross a line?

My boyfriend threw away my energy drink without even saying hello, and I left. Now am I the jerk? Hi everyone. I need an outside perspective, because I can no longer tell who’s in the wrong. I have a boyfriend — let’s call him Dima. We’ve been together for over a year. He’s at a military academy, so we see each other rarely. I wait for him for weeks, sometimes months. Lately, I’ve been dealing with severe apathy and anxiety. I’m on antidepressants. Recently, he finally got a leave. I came to see him. I just wanted to hug him, see him, be near him. He didn’t even say hello. The first thing he did was notice the can of energy drink in my hand. He asked, “Would you be upset if I threw it away?” — then snatched it from me and tossed it in the trash. I was shocked. I told him I felt hurt. He started lecturing me about how bad energy drinks are for my health, how I don’t listen to him. Then he asked: “Me or the energy drink?” I told him his actions were disrespectful. That I’m not a child. That he shouldn’t make decisions for me. He said I don’t appreciate his care. I got upset and left. He followed me. He said: “Come on, admit it — that was a good throw, right? Even you trying to catch the can didn’t mess up its trajectory.” He was proud of himself. Later, he texted me that he needed to think, and then didn’t call for two days. My parents said he was right. That he’s looking out for my health, and that I’m acting like a spoiled child. I understand that energy drinks are bad for you. I know he’s worried. I’ve already cut back on them. But I can’t accept that a reunion I’d waited months for started with a thrown-away can instead of a hug. That he didn’t even say hello. That his “care” feels like control. That day, I hadn’t slept well and wanted to make the most of our time together — plus, I’d been waiting for him outside for an hour because I arrived a bit early, so I bought the energy drink. Now I don’t know if I’m right. Maybe I really am the jerk who doesn’t appreciate someone caring for her? Or did he cross a line?

In all honesty, i never thought she could do this, ever, but now she has, its becoming unforgivable, no matter how much i love her right now, bottom line is, theres literally nothing i can do anymore, ive been the best boyfriend i can, treat her the best i can so i know none of this is about me. Shes broken