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Back when I was single I used to openly multi-date. The absolute most women I could concurrently "date" was 4 or 5. Even then I couldn't spend any real time with or talking with any single one of them. Anything more was impossible time wise. 9? Omg I can't even imagine.

Honestly, this was a really silly question to ask. If a guy is cheating, he's going to lie. If he's not cheating, you're going to look a bit nuts. Did you even consider the logistics of cost or time involved in dating nine women before you asked him? And Gaeta is very likely right about it being option 2 of 9 different bouquets

The women who show interest in you AND are a bit flirty.

You may also meet a new girlfriend through friends

I'd say that a lot of the women I've tried with aren't exactly what you see on magazine covers. But they are cute enough for me and in some ways more attractive. some were even overweight on rare occasions if I liked their face and personality. I'm always trying to figure out who is and isn't out of my league and which women are worth trying with. There's been occasions where I may not have thought much of them until they started being really nice to me. However if I find someone UNattractive then attraction won't build for me even with personality. I have to already find them som

Oh I absolutely get together with friends. That’s how I met my current girlfriend. Other than that, I really don’t have much time for anything else.

Yeah, you might be too old for clubbing, but no social life? You never have fun with friends? All work and no play.....

Well ... he actually never reached out to you to let you know he was now closer. According to your OP, he only told you this after YOU took the initiative to reach out. He didn't let you know on his own. That says all you need to know about his level of interest. If you need more - his first impulse was not to ask you for a date -- it was to try sexting. Sorry. Don't be too disappointed though - he's really just an Internet stranger, though you developed some feelings for him.

Honestly, the more I think about it and the games required to date. I just don’t have the time. I have a very good career that keeps me focused and am just starting to see dating as a hassle. I don’t have time to go out to “events”, and don’t “club”.

Have you ever encountered a woman whose looks are not necessarily high on a one dimensional numeric scale, but you still find them attractive? I think it happens more often as we're getting to know a person than just seeing them on the street or in a club. Things a person does can become quite endearing and you grow to love looking at them even if they are not HAWT or whatever. Have you had this experience?

I really appreciate the feedback. I was just raised to believe women look at men as wanting only 1 thing and that it should be earned and never given away. The more I think about this situation and my past relationships I might simply just be happier to be single and focus on my career. I don’t have any interest in games with relation to dating. It’s just too much effort I think.

I’m from rural Michigan.

Stop even worrying about this. You thought it was over, you acted like you were single because you thought you were, I'm not seeing any crime here. And you don't have to tell her, because it's none of her business. Just carry on as if nothing happened. And maybe stop allowing her to dictate stuff because of her culture, because that'll wear thin pretty fast. She actually sounds like she's got Drama Queen going on.

Your mind has to stop going to these unbeleivable scenarios. He probably picked bouquet #2 out of 9 options in the categorie of bouquets he was searching. When we order online there are different people behind that execute the order. They all have their way of doing things. The person answering the phone does not necessary know what people are doing in the back room.

I get you. I definitely don't want to be with anyone who ONLY cares about looks.

This sounds like spam....

Tell her? you crazy? hell no. Not worth it dude. It would be different if she was an angel and your relationship was solid at that time she was gone..then she would deserve to know...but since she acted like a sea hag, she deserves nothing from you about it. Now in future if the relationship implodes on itself, tell her then.

Ya but how were you supposed to know how things would have ended up the way they did? You barely knew each other, there was no commitment, and you were planning to move on in April. To boot, you told him everything, he got over it and quickly went forward. Why now is this bothering you...it's 5 years later? What's changed? You pregnant?

I think you're living in times which never existed. My grandmother's diary in 1939 illuded to the premarital sex going on then. My other grandmother got married in the 1920's because she was pregnant at 19. Fooling around is nothing new

Everything changed at the point where he wanted to sext and you didn't, so the change would have been related to that. I guess he's thinking that the two of you want different things and faded

It’s okay, sometimes it takes an effort to get rid of some pre-conceived notions. The whole concept of “earning sex” is gravely outdated, objectifying, and demeaning to both genders. “Horn dog” shouldn’t be a gender-dependent term. Some people, men and women, have higher libido, while others, men and women, have lower libido.

You didn't have a happy marriage, so this was just more of the same

I don't know where you are from. I know marriage is still important for most Americans. I am French Canadian and we don't marry anymore. We still are in relationship and have homes and children together, we just don't marry.

I wonder where your high school was… in my high school, many people lost their virginity before the age of 18.

Back again.....I've been with my partner for 30 odd years, defacto, two kids, own a house and two birds. Our laws cover defacto couples, so marriage wasn't required for us. That said, our daughter and her boyfriend and talking about getting engaged, so marriage is not dead