rochskier Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 ...so, after 2.5 years together and 1 year spent engaged I just told my fiancee that my emotional connection to her had ebbed, and I did not feel that it was going to redevelop in the future. She felt much more deeply about me and she was understandably crushed and feels very betrayed. I have some strangely mixed emotions about this. Part of me feels like a monster for leading her on and taking so long to come to this conclusion. Part of me is strangely relieved that I did it now rather than wait 10, 20, or 30 years and pretend to have feelings that just aren't there. I'm also relieved because I felt like I was being herded toward an unappealing future. I also freely admit that it took me too long to admit that I couldn't accept her the was she is, I kept wishing she would change, and I kept comparing her to other people. Looking at Marriage Builders it also seems like I had issues with my emotional needs for Recreational Companionship and Physical Attraction. These clearly aren't the thoughts of someone in love, and maybe I am a ****ty person for taking this long to understand this. I guess I'm posting to see if anyone out there has any thoughts, advice, similar experiences, rants, flames, or whatever. Thanks in advance... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 wooo hooo i feel for you hope everything turns out ok Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 After That Is Coming In Here And Sharing Bless U Man Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Look bro good on you firstly. You didnt string her along and in the long run you did both of you a favour. Hey man I know what its like I too was engaged to a lovly girl for a long time and it didnt work out. I think you dod the right thing here you may have secured a bright future for the both of you. I cant say that I agree with the tome frames that it took but all the same its not about that its about the end result and if this decision is whats best for both of you then go for it. My advise to you is be proud of yourself that you were man enought to step up to the plate and make a statment. You cant be happy about this either she may be in pain but it will go with time. What else can I tell you? I have respect for you here huge respect and man your an example of a true man. Good on you mate....... Dont beat yourself up about it. Shame man not a nice thing to go through but you did a tact full job. Hope all is well, Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 I guess I'm posting to see if anyone out there has any thoughts, advice, similar experiences, rants, flames, or whatever. Thanks in advance... My advice... Tahoes. The cure for whatever ails you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Ick, hang in there. It sounds like a bad situation. You seemed really conflicted in your earlier posts. I hope that now that you have a few days' distance, you still feel positve about the way things went. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
AloneNow125 Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 ...so, after 2.5 years together and 1 year spent engaged I just told my fiancee that my emotional connection to her had ebbed, and I did not feel that it was going to redevelop in the future. Who wouldn't feel betrayed by that? I was on the receiving end of a very similar experience. How much it hurts to hear those words! two and 1/2 years is a long time to spend with someone only to realize that you don't care about them, esp. when there was a ring involved. I guess better now than 20 years from now. Maybe I should keep that in mind, too. Good luck to the both of you, I hope you can get to some degree of peace with the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Hazel Faerie Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]Two and half years? These things bothered you and you couldn’t accept it. Really this situation boils down to why isn't she different and how can I change her? I really feel for this person. Very sad how you treated her. [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]It’s cowardly when someone says they have all these issues with someone but never tells the other person. Nice that you waited that long. Yes, she is way better off having you out of her life. There is nothing worse than someone stringing you along for that amount of time. [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
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