69ways Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Would be interesting to see your comments on this mind games that dumpers play and every few days , weeks months you get a txt or a call.... Link to post Share on other sites
plasma Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 its not easy by any means Link to post Share on other sites
chris1987 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I am a dumpiee but I would guess that. 1 they like to make sure your waiting for them. 2 guilt. 3 most of the time they don't see or care about the pain they cause you by keeping in contact because they have moved on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Desensitized Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 In my case, I kept contact in the beginning because I DIDN'T want to break up with her, but I knew it was something that I HAD to do. It's not always easy for the dumper as you may think it is, breaking up with someone you love is never easy. You shouldn't categorize all dumpers into the same category... edit: I stopped keeping contact with her because I knew it was hard for her. Link to post Share on other sites
NicoleM Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Even though was never technically dumped I still wish he would contact me just once. I keep looking at my phone,e-mail,etc just hoping for that one day. Today is his birthday and I got a reminder on skype saying it was his birthday and then I get emotional again ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
bestrong Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I have never been then dumper. It'd be interesting to know why my ex send me a "Are you still ALIVE" message once in a while. Especially when I asked her not to contact as I have to heal... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 Maybe I should be considering myself lucky she txt me then Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I have an ex that does this. He phones me at midnight/ one in the morning. He texted me saying that he misses me, said he was sorry and that "everything would be different this time". He PROMISED to meet me. Fast forward a month and he still hadn't even bothered to meet me. I told him I'd had enough of his crap. He cracked it and said I was a nutjob that needs help. He said I was ****. So much for everything being different from now on! NC, NC, NC Link to post Share on other sites
plasma Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I am a dumpiee but I would guess that. 1 they like to make sure your waiting for them. 2 guilt. 3 most of the time they don't see or care about the pain they cause you by keeping in contact because they have moved on. scary but true ( most cases ughhh ) In my case, I kept contact in the beginning because I DIDN'T want to break up with her, but I knew it was something that I HAD to do. It's not always easy for the dumper as you may think it is, breaking up with someone you love is never easy. You shouldn't categorize all dumpers into the same category... edit: I stopped keeping contact with her because I knew it was hard for her. love soup is so powerfull isnt it ? even as a male i get withdrawld bad sometimes and its crippling Even though was never technically dumped I still wish he would contact me just once. I keep looking at my phone,e-mail,etc just hoping for that one day. Today is his birthday and I got a reminder on skype saying it was his birthday and then I get emotional again ugh! i hate that limbo feeling , would rather be dead ! I have never been then dumper. It'd be interesting to know why my ex send me a "Are you still ALIVE" message once in a while. Especially when I asked her not to contact as I have to heal... you have express too much demand and negotiation in your scenario, let it breath , i kno its easier said then done because im in same boat, but do trust whne i say let it breath Maybe I should be considering myself lucky she txt me then god that txt feels druglike doesnt it!!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 In my case, I kept contact in the beginning because I DIDN'T want to break up with her, but I knew it was something that I HAD to do. It's not always easy for the dumper as you may think it is, breaking up with someone you love is never easy. You shouldn't categorize all dumpers into the same category... edit: I stopped keeping contact with her because I knew it was hard for her. I'm in the same boat! I'm not keeping contact I'm a mess and I am miserable, we don't take joy out of leaving our ex, I love the jerk! :-( I am not contacting him . Link to post Share on other sites
justagirrl Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I'm in the same boat! I'm not keeping contact I'm a mess and I am miserable, we don't take joy out of leaving our ex, I love the jerk! :-( I am not contacting him . I love the jerk too! but I'm also staying NC....for my own good. Link to post Share on other sites
guitarxkid Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 My ex kept contact for 8 months after our breakup... Including "I miss you's" while starting to date another guy. It was horrible and left me miserable because she didn't want a relationship yet she insisted on calling me and leaving me with a ton of false hopes. She lied, changed her mind, and told me we would be together next school year when shes done with "having fun and being single" and we're seniors. Well guess that changed as she's "in love" with someone else now. Anyways yeah don't let the contact go on for very long cause it sucks and will leave you brokenhearted and vulnerable Link to post Share on other sites
plasma Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 also dumpers keep in contact as a cushion aka SAFETY NET , when they are good and balanced, your back to sucking wind ! Link to post Share on other sites
Delilah5 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 My ex kept contact for 8 months after our breakup... Including "I miss you's" while starting to date another guy. It was horrible and left me miserable because she didn't want a relationship yet she insisted on calling me and leaving me with a ton of false hopes. She lied, changed her mind, and told me we would be together next school year when shes done with "having fun and being single" and we're seniors. Well guess that changed as she's "in love" with someone else now. Anyways yeah don't let the contact go on for very long cause it sucks and will leave you brokenhearted and vulnerable The same thing happened to me. Only my ex just stopped calling. No message, text, nothing. It's been two weeks and I know that there's nothing that I can do. We can't make someone care for us if they don't. I just wish now that I had never met the f....r. It's difficult because I have all these feelings and no where to go with them. There are two men that want to take me out and I'm not interested in either of them and am thinking of giving up on dating altogether. What's the point anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
plasma Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 The same thing happened to me. Only my ex just stopped calling. No message, text, nothing. It's been two weeks and I know that there's nothing that I can do. We can't make someone care for us if they don't. I just wish now that I had never met the f....r. It's difficult because I have all these feelings and no where to go with them. There are two men that want to take me out and I'm not interested in either of them and am thinking of giving up on dating altogether. What's the point anyway? you answering to your own destiny, now all you have to do is follow through... easier said then done but find a hobby, go for walks, and detox ! Link to post Share on other sites
NicoleM Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I decided to wish him a happy birthday today and of course I get nothing back who was I kidding?? I thought maybe just a glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe he would be happy that I wished him a happy birthday but of course he blew it off like it was nothing. I can now officially call this DOA and I will never ever contact him again and realize once and for all it is truely,truely over. Link to post Share on other sites
plasma Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I decided to wish him a happy birthday today and of course I get nothing back who was I kidding?? I thought maybe just a glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe he would be happy that I wished him a happy birthday but of course he blew it off like it was nothing. I can now officially call this DOA and I will never ever contact him again and realize once and for all it is truely,truely over. you failed to listen, you were waiting for a response back, you set yourself up for heartbreak by sending a message in hopes of response knowing he's running. soul searching time for you... Link to post Share on other sites
guitarxkid Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I decided to wish him a happy birthday today and of course I get nothing back who was I kidding?? I thought maybe just a glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe he would be happy that I wished him a happy birthday but of course he blew it off like it was nothing. I can now officially call this DOA and I will never ever contact him again and realize once and for all it is truely,truely over. Its alright you'll learn from your mistakes. Just remember that next time you think of sending him something. Don't worry I've done things like that a lot... and now I've learned Link to post Share on other sites
AmericanHoney Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Exactly! It is better to move on and not think about them. Sever all ties delete their number, cut up photos ( if you have any) stop thinking about the past and move on!!! Remember it is their loss;) I know it hurts ( believe me) but also remember if they treated you like dirt guess what?? They are going to treat the new girlfriend like dirt and just knowing that has to make you giddy inside. Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Exactly! It is better to move on and not think about them. Sever all ties delete their number, cut up photos ( if you have any) stop thinking about the past and move on!!! Remember it is their loss;) I know it hurts ( believe me) but also remember if they treated you like dirt guess what?? They are going to treat the new girlfriend like dirt and just knowing that has to make you giddy inside. so true so true, i will keep that in mind when I remember how he told me about his rebound wonderful "relationship" Link to post Share on other sites
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