69ways Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 My ex left me 9 months ago and it was really bad. It was a LDR but got engaged and we spoke about the wedding all the time. I tried quite a bit to get her back and then went no contact. She calls every now and then but I try to ignore her. I managed NC for 40 days a while ago and feels great. Last time we spoke I asked her to leave me alone but she said she wants to see how I am and today she called but I did not pick up. Then she txt saying : please speak with me. So I did. I know that her depression brought us to this and when we spoke today she said she is going to see a specialist and that she wants my opinion,as she cant manage her life. She agreed also that she should had done this before we got to where we are now, broken up that is. The interesting part is that , I ma the only person she told. Not even her parents know. I find this quite interesting because I am the only person she trusts and two weeks ago she was wondering if i am single, 3 months ago told me I am the man of her life. I told her I will be here for her if she needs me. Please, put down any advice,experiences or opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 My ex left me 9 months ago and it was really bad. It was a LDR but got engaged and we spoke about the wedding all the time. I tried quite a bit to get her back and then went no contact. She calls every now and then but I try to ignore her. I managed NC for 40 days a while ago and feels great. Last time we spoke I asked her to leave me alone but she said she wants to see how I am and today she called but I did not pick up. Then she txt saying : please speak with me. So I did. I know that her depression brought us to this and when we spoke today she said she is going to see a specialist and that she wants my opinion,as she cant manage her life. She agreed also that she should had done this before we got to where we are now, broken up that is. The interesting part is that , I ma the only person she told. Not even her parents know. I find this quite interesting because I am the only person she trusts and two weeks ago she was wondering if i am single, 3 months ago told me I am the man of her life. I told her I will be here for her if she needs me. Please, put down any advice,experiences or opinions. Why exactly did you break up? More specific other then her depression. Who initiated it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 We had an argument and I over reacted but when I tried to sort it out an hour later she said it was too late. We did not have major issues, only the LDR stress that cause a few arguments. She bought an engagement party dress , 2 days before she left me Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 We had an argument and I over reacted but when I tried to sort it out an hour later she said it was too late. We did not have major issues, only the LDR stress that cause a few arguments. She bought an engagement party dress , 2 days before she left me This is strange to me. The fact that an hour after the fight it was "too late" to figure stuff out, makes me think she has been thinking about breaking up and the fight was a good excuse to do it. But now, 9 months later it's weird because she won't leave you alone, I think she may reget it. You should text her "it's too late" lol JUST KIDDING!! don't that would be vicious. I don't know what to tell you. Do you want to get back together with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 This is strange to me. The fact that an hour after the fight it was "too late" to figure stuff out, makes me think she has been thinking about breaking up and the fight was a good excuse to do it. But now, 9 months later it's weird because she won't leave you alone, I think she may reget it. You should text her "it's too late" lol JUST KIDDING!! don't that would be vicious. I don't know what to tell you. Do you want to get back together with her? For sure, she is my baby but I could easy go NC and it would hurt but I can do it. The issue is that she is really got psychological issues, Runs in the family you see, her 32 year old cousin committed suicide a few months ago for the same reasons. So you see NC is not really the best choice here, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Rorschach64 Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Oh boy I am envious of this for sure! Yeah but she was looking for any excuse to get out of the relationship yours was an argument and mine was a FB chat taken out of proportion and context. Well at this point NC won't simply do, time to switch over to LC but let her come to you otherwise I think you might smother her. Space and time, gone 9 months without her what is a little more huh? Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I find her to be selfish. But if you can't go NC go LC. Tell her it's good she's getting help (make sure we actually is getting help) and you're proud of her. Keep it short, keep it sweet. That way she knows you care, and then she won't do something stupid and harmful. I guess be there limited and from a distance... If you are able to keep you're heart of it for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 I find her to be selfish. But if you can't go NC go LC. Tell her it's good she's getting help (make sure we actually is getting help) and you're proud of her. Keep it short, keep it sweet. That way she knows you care, and then she won't do something stupid and harmful. I guess be there limited and from a distance... If you are able to keep you're heart of it for now. Actually I did say she is doing the right choice, I believe she needed to hear this from me. I also pointed out she has ego and that stops her reaching out to me when she is in need. I realised from the silence that followed , I was right. Managed to make her laugh, she asked how I am going and my family. She said a few times thanks for listening and been there for me. Wondering whats comes next right now. I see this ending in two ways: 1.Her finding another guy 2.The help she is getting , works out and she is willing to get back together. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Just fyi, her depression is caused by her cutting the emotional ties to the relationship and you are right on #1 because its true you need to quit being her emotional tampon, go NC, and move on Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Just fyi, her depression is caused by her cutting the emotional ties to the relationship and you are right on #1 because its true you need to quit being her emotional tampon, go NC, and move on Well on one hand you are right, she will most likely forget me when she finds another bloke but on the other side, she only spoke to me regarding this issue and i dont want to shut her completely off because then she might believe that : I was in need and he did not help me, so I did right to leave him Link to post Share on other sites
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