budley12 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Went out drinking last night and it was the first time drinking since breakup. I got a little too drunk and texted ex. I have been nc with him for almost three months yet i broke it. He texted back just saying" hi. Are you drinking because YOU are texting me?" I then got really upset because i broke nc and didn't respond back for a few hours. I then tested him back around three saying" i shouldnt have texted u but i miss u. Now im sitting here waiting to respond even though i know he wont. Back to day on of nc. Im pathetic Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Everyone has setbacks. You are not pathetic. It's true, though. That's why you don't break NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phanpooh Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 The only one reason i DON'T break NC is that, she said " leave me alone" and i make her wish be true! real reason: i dun have anything to talk with her.... Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 You're not pathetic. Everyone breaks NC. It's actually a good thing that you did. Now you know not to do it again. You have learnt from your experience. You are growing. Keep it up! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 You're not pathetic. Everyone breaks NC. It's actually a good thing that you did. Now you know not to do it again. You have learnt from your experience. You are growing. Keep it up! This ^^^ Don't call yourself pathetic, don't even think it. That's self defeating and will destroy you. We all have our moments of weakness, if and when you succumb then post it here, get it out and keep living! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author budley12 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 Still laying in bed waiting for the text to come. The last messagge i sent him though was" i probably shouldn't have texted and hope you r life is going well. Wish you the best" now im contemplating sending another because the last one was pretty much a" goodbye forever" message. Now that j broke nc after three months what do i have to lose now from contacting again? I think my ex still wants to see and talk with me because otherwise he wouldn't have responded right? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetheart5381 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Still laying in bed waiting for the text to come. The last messagge i sent him though was" i probably shouldn't have texted and hope you r life is going well. Wish you the best" now im contemplating sending another because the last one was pretty much a" goodbye forever" message. Now that j broke nc after three months what do i have to lose now from contacting again? I think my ex still wants to see and talk with me because otherwise he wouldn't have responded right? Please, just leave it be. For your sake... for your self-respect. If you feel that you need to do it, then do... but don't expect the response that you want to hear. What you hear may hurt like hell but if you feel you can handle it, then do it. If you don't get a response, it will hurt just as bad, if not worse. Just a warning. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LasVegasGuy Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Still laying in bed waiting for the text to come. The last messagge i sent him though was" i probably shouldn't have texted and hope you r life is going well. Wish you the best" now im contemplating sending another because the last one was pretty much a" goodbye forever" message. Now that j broke nc after three months what do i have to lose now from contacting again? I think my ex still wants to see and talk with me because otherwise he wouldn't have responded right? I definitely understand that as this is the worst thing about breaking NC, the chance that the response might not be in your favor. This will only drive you crazy though, wondering did he get that text?? Should I send it again?? Is he just busy??? Try to stop paying attention to your phone for a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 OH, BUDLEY.....!!! You great big daft ninny, you.... Have I taught you nothing.....?? ((( )))) Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I take everything I said earlier back. You have not learnt a thing. Pity... Link to post Share on other sites
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 It will just bring you major anxiety with slight happiness. Then after you're done talking its a mixture of confusion and more depression than you had before you made contact. I learned my lesson a few times as well. Although my ex does want to remain friends right now, I realize that talking to them is just a set back. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) You're not pathetic. Everyone breaks NC. It's actually a good thing that you did. Now you know not to do it again. You have learnt from your experience. You are growing. Keep it up! Not everyone. My ex was so abusive, told me to leave him alone (he did all the calling, mind you--never gave me a chance to initiate contact)=said "I am so done with you!!!!"--it was creepy. His wish was my command. Leave you alone? Much obliged. He texted me not 5 minutes after that tirade and after calling me a 'whore'--a whore because I slept with him after several months of knowing him? LOL!!! "Hi, sunshine:) Don't know what got into me:) Would you like to see the beautiful fall foliage with me? And dinner later?:)"- Ummm...Ewwwwww. I ignored. He texted me over the course of a few months after. I did not respond. He has found someone new within a few months after trying to contact me. I like to refer to her as the newest 'psycho to be", because she is next to deal with this crap. In case people haven't noticed, I am extremely strong willed. If a fellow says it's over, I take that to mean that it's over and I move on from that very second. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya. Stop running to the bears dressed up in a bacon suit is all I can advise. PS, he said during another of his tirades: "You should have told me not to date you!!!!!"---Still trying to figure that one out....Any takers?? LOL Edited April 15, 2012 by BewitchedandBothered 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 never gave me a chance to initiate contact. Perhaps if he had given you the chance...? Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Perhaps if he had given you the chance...? No. Because of the things he said to me. He told me to leave him alone; he's done with me, etc. Okay fine then, LOL. Plus, he had done me in mentally so badly at the time, I was so worn out from the abuse that I knew that there was no reason to contact him again. He told people I sent him a 'berage of texts' and that I wouldn't leave him alone. Sorry, pal, not my style and he knew that. He WISHES I did that, LOL. He was lucky to hear crickets when he checked his phone. I have a policy that if you hurt me intentionally, I move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 No. Because of the things he said to me. He told me to leave him alone; he's done with me, etc. Okay fine then, LOL. Plus, he had done me in mentally so badly at the time, I was so worn out from the abuse that I knew that there was no reason to contact him again. He told people I sent him a 'berage of texts' and that I wouldn't leave him alone. Sorry, pal, not my style and he knew that. He WISHES I did that, LOL. He was lucky to hear crickets when he checked his phone. I have a policy that if you hurt me intentionally, I move on. Good for you, girl! I'm the same way. Once I decide I am done with you, you no longer matter. Still, we hurt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Good for you, girl! I'm the same way. Once I decide I am done with you, you no longer matter. Still, we hurt. You better believe I was hurt. Badly. Until I did some research, went to his ex wife and she told me she always thought he was 'undiagnosed bipolar'. Then I did more research and found he fits the criteria for Borderline Personality. It makes sense. That was my closure. My feelings were hurt, my pride and self esteem were shot and it took some doing to collect myself. He was already online searching for someone new during the end of our relationship and was FURIOUS when I found out. He was up and dating in no time---while with me and saying I was his soulmate-- and is now in a serious relationship. Just like that, LOL. I feel sorry for the new gal; look what she's getting. So, calling him would have been utterly pointless. Either Jeckyll or Hyde would have answered and I didn't want to put myself through anymore agony. Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I hear you! Mine is definitely BPD + NPD + HPD. My (according to her OUR) dog dies in an accident and she can't handle it. Attention was taken from her. Pfft! Who the F**K would want that kind of attention? I was devastated! And all she could think about was herself. I should feel sorry for her but I don't. I just hope she suffers. I really do. She disregarded my dog. I hope she burns. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I hear you! Mine is definitely BPD + NPD + HPD. My (according to her OUR) dog dies in an accident and she can't handle it. Attention was taken from her. Pfft! Who the F**K would want that kind of attention? I was devastated! And all she could think about was herself. I should feel sorry for her but I don't. I just hope she suffers. I really do. She disregarded my dog. I hope she burns. Trust me when I say there will come a time where you are indifferent. People like that can't help it; it's the nature of the disorder. Say there is a death in the family; your ex would be upset because the funeral interrupted her plans and she is inconvenienced. I pity my ex now; people like this don't like themselves and will have a string of bad relationships because they can't handle reality unless all the attention is centered on them. It's sad because anyone who comes in contact with these people will eventually run for the hills;) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Trust me when I say there will come a time where you are indifferent. People like that can't help it; it's the nature of the disorder. Say there is a death in the family; your ex would be upset because the funeral interrupted her plans and she is inconvenienced. I pity my ex now; people like this don't like themselves and will have a string of bad relationships because they can't handle reality unless all the attention is centered on them. It's sad because anyone who comes in contact with these people will eventually run for the hills;) Hee hee.. Thanks! I know I will be indifferent eventually. I am not over her but I will be. I just have to stay strong, which I will do. Yes, she needs attention. When my dog died, I got ALL the attention because I was grieving. She couldn't take it. I would've given that kind of attention to ANYone! I didn't want it. My dog died. Another thing about these people is that they cannot take criticisms. I told her what I thought about her; she BEGGED for one last chance; I gave it to her; She broke up with me 2 weeks after that, citing I was not nice to her, because I made her feel like a horrible person...when she WAS a horrible person. Ugh! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Comfortably Numb Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 budley, being a fellow western new yorker i feel for you. It's not the setbacks that make us weak. Really, everyone succumbs to our inner desires once in a while. Just need to learn to control those urges, and understand that its what you do after you break down that counts. I'm a strong willed guy, but even the strongest of us succumb and have moments of weakness. Learn, grow, become stronger. Words, won't make you stronger. Pain will. Experience shows us what not to do. Not what to do. And i know I am new, but finally felt like committing when i saw a fellow buffalo native in trouble. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author budley12 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Thanks for the responses everyone. I didn't end up texting him. I think it just gave some hope again just seeing he responded and wanted to try and gage whether he still cared. The thing is it shhouldnt be me trying to pull this from him if he still cared. He has my number if he wanted to talk. I know he cares for me still but in a different way. He cares for me as a person whereas i still want more. Back to day one of nc for me. Thanks for sticking with me and my stubberness. One of these times i will learn. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Budley, Send him another one apologizing for texting him. Tell him sorry you were out drinking cause you and the new guy your seeing had a little fight. And tell him its all better now so you just wanna apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
Author budley12 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Budley, Send him another one apologizing for texting him. Tell him sorry you were out drinking cause you and the new guy your seeing had a little fight. And tell him its all better now so you just wanna apologize. Our relationship had more than its fairshare of mind games and manipulating. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I pity my ex now; people like this don't like themselves and will have a string of bad relationships because they can't handle reality unless all the attention is centered on them. Wow, you just described my ex! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 I also had a very similar breakup to BewitchedandBothered. I haven't broken NC to this day.Why should I even give the time of day to someone who dumped and verbally abused me by text. Then called me psycho for wanting answers as to why I was being dumped for no reason after a year. And then telling everyone that I was The psycho? Sorry but I wouldn't if my ex begged me. Link to post Share on other sites
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