Stephen13 Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 (edited) Before I post my story, I would like to thank you all for helping me with this situation. It has, without doubt been one of the hardest times in my life thus far. I had been dating this girl for a year and it had been the best year of my life. She is 23 and I am 24. I have no doubt that it was the best relationship that either of us had ever been in as we talked about it quite often. We were amazed at the good fortune and the friends that had introduced us and we quickly fell in love. For 9 months of the year, while she had her own apartment- she usually stayed at my place. She had a big fight months after we met with her parents because her mother sent her a very inappropriate and rude text msg and she didn't go home that night. I helped her find a place and get a new phone plan after her mother cut her off entirely. After smoothing things over months later, I really got to like her family, especially her mother and brother. But I never felt comfortable around her dad. I felt maybe there was some resentment that I 'took' away his little girl. However, he was always very polite and friendly with me. So the night of the breakup we went to her parents home to have dinner. Her dad was the only one home as the mother was out of town. The whole night he kept interrupting me, then it was making jokes about my last name (using interchangeably with screwing someone) and then saying jokingly 'not even her ex boyfriend would have done that to her'. I let this get to me and on the ride home I yelled at my GF. I called her dad names and when she defended him I directed some names at her. I felt insecure about the situation and was feeling very emotional. I told her that 'this isn't worth it' and that I didn't love her. Now, I knew that would get her attention because one of her ex's she left for this very reason. I was pushing her buttons to get her upset because I was upset. Since the breakup I have realized that I had taken her for granted and not treated her as well as she treated me lately. I wrote it all down in a sincere apology email which I sent to her the end of the month that we broke up. Of course I did all of the texting, calling, and I have sent a few emails since the breakup two months ago. I also sent flowers recently asking if she would talk to me. The only time I have heard anything from her was when she sent some texts to exchange some things via mail. Some people have suggested talking with her father since I made derogatory comments about him to her. I know that NC is my best option and I have had several NC periods in these two months. I have healed quite a bit and that is why I decided it ok to send flowers because it wouldn't upset me much if I didn't get a response. I know I want to have a future with this girl and I know she wanted that with me more than anything. I feel like I took her love for granted the last few months and I know we were so happy together. The day before the breakup she texted me that I was the best thing to ever happen to her. She said this often and I know she loved me very much. Thank you for any advice you can offer. Edited July 6, 2012 by Stephen13 Age Link to post Share on other sites
broken77 Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Didn't you already send flowers once with no response? I'm brainstorming for you.. One fight should have been worked thru, but so much time has passed without her showing any interest. I know people on here will suggest NC, that's probably the best route. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stephen13 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 Please help me, anyone! Some additional info: I know she has driven past my house at least once (out of her way) and archived the emails I sent. So in a way this is giving me a counterpoint to her ignoring me. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Let me get this straight. Her dad belittled and bullied you and she said nothing to her dad at the moment? She wasn't mortified to the point of telling you, we need to leave? You cannot see family problems from having such a father? Oh w0w. I don't know where to begin. She's doing you a favor dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 First, I don't know if the Dad was just pulling your chain and just joking with you to lighten the mood or that just the way he acts around the guys his daughter dates. Could be the reason why she didn't do anything because, well, that's the way her father acts. It's nothing new and appaulling to her, she's seen it before. Now, girls are like elephants. THEY NEVER FORGET!!!! And all of the e-mails and the letters and the texts and the flowers isn't going to get what you said to her out of her head and that's I DON'T LOVE YOU. The worst thing a girl can say to a guy is that you have a small penis and you don't know how to use it. The worst thing a guy to say to a girl is that you don't love them. You've crossed that line. Sorry dude, but this might be a lost cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stephen13 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 First, I don't know if the Dad was just pulling your chain and just joking with you to lighten the mood or that just the way he acts around the guys his daughter dates. Could be the reason why she didn't do anything because, well, that's the way her father acts. It's nothing new and appaulling to her, she's seen it before. Now, girls are like elephants. THEY NEVER FORGET!!!! And all of the e-mails and the letters and the texts and the flowers isn't going to get what you said to her out of her head and that's I DON'T LOVE YOU. The worst thing a girl can say to a guy is that you have a small penis and you don't know how to use it. The worst thing a guy to say to a girl is that you don't love them. You've crossed that line. Sorry dude, but this might be a lost cause. I know I shouldn't have said this, especially since it was said to get a reaction and I didn't really mean it. She broke up with her ex because he said it, however several months later they were back together again. This was her only long term relationship prior to me and they broke up and got back together several times, so I guess I want to hold out hope because of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stephen13 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 Any other advice on what to do other than give her her space? I realized I have put the ball in her court but I want to know what she is thinking. I asked her this in a text and if she never wanted to speak or see me just to say so. She did not respond to that SMS though she had started typing (iphone messenger). I guess I am holding out hope because I know she went through this a few times in her previous relationship, and because I know we were so much better than what they had. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stephen13 Posted July 7, 2012 Author Share Posted July 7, 2012 Should I go apologize to the father? I really think this is the last card I can play- I think he would have to respect me for at least manning up and talking to him face to face. Bad idea? I need to hear first hand that there is nothing I can do or I will keep trying- she has never said not to try. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts