thembones Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Long story short: together 3 years, she dumped me because I did not propose soon enough but shes showing signs of GIGS, Broken up for 3 months and NC for the last 2 (have not seen her, her car, or contacted her in any way). I was getting all of these signs and there were some things I needed to know. I had no real interest in texting her for the past 2 months, but I felt like it was a sign to act. I was sick of wondering if there was still hope for us. I texted her and she got back to me within 10 minutes, even though she was at work. Said she'd call when she got home. She did and we talked on the phone for over an hour, just catching up. I told her I needed to talk to her in person, so she told me to come over - it was already midnight. I was surprised I did not lose it when I first saw her, but I stayed strong the whole time. We caught up more for another hour. I stopped procrastinating and finally told her what I wanted to say all day. I told her that I made mistakes and that I still had feelings for her.. that I really wanted to try again - A fresh start. I kinda figured going in that she would not be up for it. She got emotional and said she could not try anymore and that she waited as long as she could. That is okay, because I was holding on for 3 months, that maybe something would come of it. I feel a LOT better now, knowing that there is really no chance. She told a couple things that perplexed me: - Asked if I looked at her Facebook and I said no. She was shocked. I told her it was too hard and she seemed slightly offended. - She said she checked my FB daily, MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. She said she wanted to see what I was up to. Wtf? - We hugged like 4 times and she kept like groping my back, telling me how muscular I was.. and how she "was not trying to be creepy about it" It really seemed like she was having a harder time than me (I have my moments, but I think she's doing worse than me)! She was the dumper! I don't understand why she is still checking my FB daily. All other signs have shown me that she is out living it up without me and I honestly thought she did not care. Our anniversary would have been two weeks ago and she told me how hard of a time she had. I was wrong, she still does care. With this, I feel that another weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I do not have to wonder anymore, but I am sure I will still every so often. Are there any dumpers out there who can help me understand more? Thanks a lot for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 This happened to me too, the dumpee. We were nc for a month, and then he admitted that he regretted losing me and that he was sad and looking at photos of me every day and night. I truly thought he would just forget about me, and he genuinely was having a harder go of it than I was. I was out trying to meet new guys and he was pining away for me on his own. Opened my eyes actually. We did try again, didn't work, but now I guess I'm the official dumper. But in this case, I know he'll still have a harder time that me. I guess it just depends on the person and if they have that dumper's regret or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Sameold Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 To an extent maybe she regrets it but don't be fooled if she wanted you back properly then she could have it as you offered yourself to her. It is possible she missed the physical connection you had and it annoys her that your maybe not as bothered as she thought you would be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thembones Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 I told myself for 3 months that if she wanted me back, it would be up to her to get in touch with me. But I was just getting so many things telling me to try. I never wanted to ask "what if" about us. I went on a glimmer of hope and got the answer I expected. River, that sounds a lot like what my dumper is going through, except we did not try to get back together. She has never said that she regretted her decision though, but I still don't get what looking at my FB daily does for her, if not miss me. It is somewhat the opposite of what I thought, but I am pretty sure she is dating and not pining for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thembones Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 A older lady friend of mine told me that she is checking my page because although she does not want to be with me, she does not want anyone else to be with me either. She said it is just how women work. Is this correct? Any other insight on why she'd be doing that? Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 A older lady friend of mine told me that she is checking my page because although she does not want to be with me, she does not want anyone else to be with me either. She said it is just how women work. Is this correct? Any other insight on why she'd be doing that? If I'm checking out your page it is because either I DO want to be with you, or I miss you, or have some feeling for you. Or in the case of not wanting to be with you, I'm just lonely and reliving old memories. Link to post Share on other sites
CMH309 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I look at my exes facebook.... It's a way for me to see him moving on so I feel like I should finally move on to. Personally, if I was her, even if I did want to get back together/ missed you, if you said let's start with a clean slate I would have said no... Dating is to see if you are compatible my first thought would be fool you know me... you know all there is after 3 years you either feel it or you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
ReadMyThread Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I look at my exes facebook.... It's a way for me to see him moving on so I feel like I should finally move on to. Personally, if I was her, even if I did want to get back together/ missed you, if you said let's start with a clean slate I would have said no... Dating is to see if you are compatible my first thought would be fool you know me... you know all there is after 3 years you either feel it or you don't. Lol that's a perfect way of putting it. Although second chances could be something that is needed. It opens your eyes to the problems you two ha the first time and allows you to work on them if you both are willing to. In his case, she wasn't willing to which sucks because now that's 3 years of a lot of things he has to get over :/. God I hate females lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I don't look at my ex's Facebook at all. Pretty positive she keeps up with mine. Don't really want to know what's going on in her life and don't really care if she keeps up with mine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thembones Posted November 7, 2012 Author Share Posted November 7, 2012 Yeah, she is not feeling it at all. She is done and that's fine. Sh** happens. I don't care if she checks it but I just wondered why the hell she would be checking it so often. I kinda understand, but not totally. I looked at her FB Sunday because she basically asked me to, but I told her I won't be doing it again. Thanks for the replies. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 why do you think she checked it? what are your answers to your own questions? Link to post Share on other sites
dumPI Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 why do you think she checked it? what are your answers to your own questions? Mine was checking my facebook too (she is blocked and by the way she was pissed when I not just unfriended her but blocked her) through someone else's account (but I deleted all common friends) so she was just accessing the public part of my profile. Why do they do that? Because they thought it was easier to forget you than it really is or because they are going through some rough moments (new bf dumping her or she dumping him). Call it GIGS call it whatever but there are some patterns repeating everywhere.+ While in the honeymoon with the new one she is not going to do anything of that. It's later when things starts settling when they start thinking back of everything. Link to post Share on other sites
21flames Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 (edited) I posted a few days back she blocked me and a few of her friends deleted me but didn't block me so I go stealth mode block anyone to do with her or knew us and cleared all my timeline so all a public viewer can see is my likes and my one photo that's all. then 2 weeks later I get a random friend request off someone Iv'e never heard of, no photo, no location, no history, no nothing apart from one strange like, and no option to message to ask who it was............Very strange!!!! I believe it's my ex or her friend, the profile was set up over a year ago but she is capable of anything and could have been spying on someone else and she had multiple e mails that's how liers work. Haven't had a friend request off a random for years. She wanted to get me out of her life to be with someone else, that's what she gets, I don't want her knowing anything I'm doing, she never admited any of what she was doing so left just me guessing and questioning. Your turn to guess and question now Bit*h!! Edited November 8, 2012 by 21flames Link to post Share on other sites
Author thembones Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 why do you think she checked it? what are your answers to your own questions? I think she checked it because she misses me, but as I tried, she does not want to be with me. I don't get it. Maybe enough time has passed where she is starting to miss me. I don't even check her FB at all because it is too hard. Should I just remove her to send a clear message that I've given up on any kind of relationship with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thembones Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 She wanted to get me out of her life to be with someone else, that's what she gets, I don't want her knowing anything I'm doing, she never admited any of what she was doing so left just me guessing and questioning. Your turn to guess and question now Bit*h!! I think I am at this point. I don't care what she is doing but I cannot bring myself to delete her off my friends list. There is no real point of keeping her on, as I do not check her page or anything like that. I like your last line haha! Link to post Share on other sites
21flames Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 It's true dude, let her worry and sweat it I was always there for her for nearly 6 years, she knew my every move and treated me like a fool at the end, I don't want to know what she is doing now, all I know is she moved in with another man 2 months after I left and took are pets, she was never there from the day I left anyway so it was lined up for months. Guess what I deleted that strange request a few days ago and she has requested me again a few minutes ago, it's 2 o clock in the morning here! That's how I know it's her or her mate. And the fact I cannot message her or she hasn't messaged me, someone has gone out there way to search me and keep trying to add me. Not Happening!! I will open my profile when I have a new girlfriend, chatting a few hotties up the last few days and feeling better for it. She can look all she wants then and see me with a fitter girl and what she lost. Bit*h! Link to post Share on other sites
21flames Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 I think I am at this point. I don't care what she is doing but I cannot bring myself to delete her off my friends list. There is no real point of keeping her on, as I do not check her page or anything like that. I like your last line haha! Do it block her don't give her the pleasure of knowing what your doing! It will help you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thembones Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 Do it block her don't give her the pleasure of knowing what your doing! It will help you too. Yeah I did it for me and b/c I really dont want her looking into me. If she wanted to know what was going on in my life, she knows what she should have done. I am not there for her anymore and it is just easier if she is gone, along with her family and friends. I feel no need to know what she is up to, because it just made it harder in the past. What's done is done and it was really a relief doing it. It is just what I needed. Link to post Share on other sites
21flames Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Yeah I did it for me and b/c I really dont want her looking into me. If she wanted to know what was going on in my life, she knows what she should have done. I am not there for her anymore and it is just easier if she is gone, along with her family and friends. I feel no need to know what she is up to, because it just made it harder in the past. What's done is done and it was really a relief doing it. It is just what I needed. Exactly, she wanted you in her life she wouldn't have done what she did and kept you in her life, so now she dosen't get the option of knowing what your doing. Your not there for her, you where and she threw it back in your face and messed you around. Let someone else try and pick up the pieces, sure not your job! Glad you did it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 yup. block her. she doesn't want you in her life, so quit giving her access to see your page. Link to post Share on other sites
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