jags2bowl27 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Here is my recent post if you would like to catch up. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/360507-how-handle-ex-girlfriend Okay so here we go. I want to make it clear, right now from what I have seen she is not ready for a relationship. She has been talking to some guy and I have been talkin to a girl. After this past weeks shootings it really got me thinking, do I really want to ignore someone I loved sooo much you never know when it will be your last day. She knew is was going to be in town and I decided to call her and see if she would like to catch up. She has a lot of growing to do for herself and I know that. My question..... I want to handle this maturely... But at the same time she needs to value me and what I can give her..... How should I approach the meeting? Has anyone been through this? Any advise would be great
CptSaveAho Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Dont go.... I dont understand people these days that continuously overly rationalize and lie to themselves.... stop listening to your emotions and use your head
Author jags2bowl27 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 I am fine to the point where I feel I can sit there and see through the bull ****. I'm not going into this expecting anything I know why you think I shouldn't go... It won't be good for me moving on but I feel like I'm ready to face her and not hide from her texts
nsteen87 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 This is a step back for both of you. While you both think you're ready to accept that you are both seeing/talking to new people, YOU BOTH ARE NOT. This will only trigger more negative emotions for both of you. You are admitting this won't help you move on so why even consider this?
Author jags2bowl27 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 So we met and it went well, it was very mature and we discussed where the relationship went wrong. She had a lot of good points and finally everything was put out on the table. Everything was fixable and we both agreed that we both were at fault and the distance did take a tole on us. We decided to set up some boundaries for ourselves since we still agree that right now with the emotion still there it is not the right time. We said we will not contact eAchother unless its an extreme emergency or one has to talk to the other regarding what we are feeling. Looks like this meeting was a good thing and we both will be able to let go without getting mad at eAchother for ignoring contacts or breadcrumbs.... Emotion was still there and she said that her guy friend said he love her and she couldn't say it back and she got shaken up.... I stayed away from that situation and just supported her and said he is just expressing himself.... What do you guys think
allenpo123 Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Glad that the meeting went good. Maybe she has grown up quite a bit since you guys broke up. I think it's a good idea not to contact each other and just see how things pan out. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Author jags2bowl27 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 Thanks man, I thinks it's best
Samilia Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 So we met and it went well, it was very mature and we discussed where the relationship went wrong. She had a lot of good points and finally everything was put out on the table. Everything was fixable and we both agreed that we both were at fault and the distance did take a tole on us. We decided to set up some boundaries for ourselves since we still agree that right now with the emotion still there it is not the right time. We said we will not contact eAchother unless its an extreme emergency or one has to talk to the other regarding what we are feeling. Looks like this meeting was a good thing and we both will be able to let go without getting mad at eAchother for ignoring contacts or breadcrumbs.... Emotion was still there and she said that her guy friend said he love her and she couldn't say it back and she got shaken up.... I stayed away from that situation and just supported her and said he is just expressing himself.... What do you guys think Well, as long as you don't get your hopes up and that this "meeting"'s goal was closure, that's fine. However if you are hoping to reignite the relationship, you need to stop torturing yourself over this idea. This "guy friend" isn't just a friend, it's obviously her boyfriend. Probably a rebound, but rebound to what? You? No, another relationship. I'm with that other poster, stop over analyzing everything she says, start living, forget about her. If one day you guys are meant to be together, it will happen, she knows how to contact you.
Author jags2bowl27 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 Yeah I think the meeting was closure and now we both agreed on a plan to move forward... I really believe deep down that if it is meant to be she will not be able to get over it. Time will tell and now it's time to move forward and let god take its course 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Did you really use the school shootings as an excuse to contact your ex? Huge stretch, though I'm glad it apparently went without emotional distress.
Author jags2bowl27 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Posted December 17, 2012 Thanks for the post.... And regarding the school shootings, yes it made me think more that sometimes ignoring someone and not talking it out and being open is not for the best. You never know when it's your last day, and honestly what we had was good and it got altered. I don't NEED to talk to her anymore and that's what NC did for me. I'm strong and will remain strong moving on with my life. What I didn't want was a situation where I ignored her when I deep down after meeting with her realize this thing could be fixed when it is the right time. When communication was a big reason why we are in this situation, I don't think ignoring is a good sign that it can be fixed.... The girl is young, he head is all over the place and she admits to looking at my Instagram every single day and even showed me on her phone. I think she needs this time to see if really the grass is greener and she knows I'm moving forward. Like a poster said, she has my number and knows how to contact me. I even got a text a few hrs after the meeting saying thanks for meeting and we will talk soon. This isn't over yet on her end, but this guy is not waiting, live life to the fullest!
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