Typology of Dumpers and Dumpees

[OwlSoul]

There seems to be 3 common types for dumper's behavior and dumpee's.

 

Cute Dumpee.

Friendly, generous, thoughtful and supernaturally lacks the emotion of anger.

 

He/she:

- never is unpleased and always tries to please you;

- escapes anything negative (emotions, situations, horror movies and etc.);

- is called the cutest person in the world by his/her friends.

 

Love life:

It's hard to find a love partner, since the person is rather seen as a mother/father/sister/brother. He/she is giving too much, helping others, being always here for them. As a result, the cute dumpee is something faceless in the romantic field.

 

Scenario:

It is usually someone emotionally or physically broken, who needs a support. Once the person heals up, he/she dumps the cute dumpee.

 

 

Echo Dumpee.

The person does not see him/herself out of relationships. 'I'm nothing without you', 'You're all my life' is usually said by this type of dumpees.

 

He/she:

- Very sensitive, focused on emotional aspects of relationships with other people;

- Shares all the emotions with his/her partner;

- Dives into the relationship, forgetting hobbies, friends, family and etc.

 

Love life:

The person is easy to fell in love since he/she basically 'echoes' the hobbies and interests of their partner. It's awesome for the first time, but then their partner feel irritated, bored and annoyed by the person who is duplicating your interests.

 

 

 

Revenger Dumpee.

In spite of other types, the revenger releases her/his natural anger caused by the problems of the relationship.

 

He/she:

- usually do not revenge openly, it might be something like cheating on, spending all the money and etc.;

- in spite of other types, the revenger behaves like a dumper (confidence, charm and etc.), but it doesn't mean they aren't vulnerable;

- the revenger might even flirt in front of the dominating partner in order to punish him/her;

- in case the revenger is dumped, he/she starts self-development which eventually makes them better than their ex partners.

 

 

 

Tyrant Dumper

Tyrant is a leader. He or she is disciplined, the life is sorted out. Rational. Everything is black& white.

 

Love life.

Most of the tyrants went through at least one bad break-up, and never recovers fully. It stays in his/her mind for a really long period of time. As a result, they try to control everything in the relationship, escape people who are equal to them and try to find someone who is physically, socially and etc. less attractive in their point of view. The person hides his/her fear by criticizing or even harming the partner.

 

They find the cute dumpees more attractive than any other types.

 

 

Adventurer Dumper.

He/she:

- Lives for the risk;

- Once the relationship gets stable, he/she finds it boring and leaves;

- New partners who challenge them make them feel alive and in love;

- Very confident, attractive;

- Usually looks athletic, does extreme sports, politics, war and etc.

 

Love life:

The adventurer brings a special spark into the relationship. He/she loves the feeling of the new love. He/she lives for the uncertainty of the first dating stage, when he/she does not know the feelings of the partner. The family life is most likely to be full of cheating, so only cute dumpees are able to tolarate this.

 

Lone-wolf Dumper.

He/she:

- You probably had someone in the school that’d never be socializing with others. So, this person is most likely the lone-wolf;

- Most of them are artists, musicians, scientists, anything which involves minimal social contact.

 

Love life:

Lone-wolf faces the dilemma - loneliness and sexual desires push him/her into dating, whereas the fear of being hurt makes him/her keep the distance. They're usually passive in the relationship, letting their partner to dictate where to go, what to do and etc. He/she tries to gain power by giving less than their partner does.

 

So welp, I guess I am the Echo dumpee, whereas my ex is the Lone-wolf dumper.

[JourneyLady]

Interesting. According to your criteria, my dumper is the lone wolf dumper and I am the cute dumpee. (Although he probably sees me as an Echo Dumpee - but it was a VERY short relationship LDR and thus he never really got to know me much in real life.)

 

Verrryyyy Interesting.

[Dragi3169]

Yup my Ex is the Lone Wolf

[OwlSoul]

Obviously the dumpees should work over their issues.

 

The cute dumpee should work over the boundaries and not to let people to use them as a doormate. The person should understand that he/she cannot be loved by everyone, learn to release and feel anger. Face the shaded side of self.

 

The echo also should work on their boundarie, but rather develop their interests and hobbies, try stop diving into the relationships like crazy.

[Simon Phoenix]

I'm not sure I fit cleanly into any of the dumpee ones, but if I had to choose, it'd be the revenger dumpee. I showed a little of the echo one by diving in with her, but that was more because I had just moved and she was the only person I knew. In general I'm nowhere close to being that type though.

 

As for my ex, she's more of an adventurous with a little lone wolf thrown in.

Edited April 27, 2013 by Simon Phoenix

[Am4Real]

Too much information - I'm on overload!

 

 

There seems to be 3 common types for dumper's behavior and dumpee's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So welp, I guess I am the Echo dumpee, whereas my ex is the Lone-wolf dumper.

[OwlSoul]

C'on bro, reading is cool. ^.^

[Ajax]

What about the type of dumpee who contributes nothing to the relationship, or the dumper who who's sick of taking a backseat to everything and everyone else in their partner's life?

 

From my breakup meltdown a few years ago I remember how painful it is to be cut loose by someone you love. But the more time that's passed, the less black and white things have become. The "Dumpee Good/Dumper Bad" mindset might be helpful in getting over a broken heart in the initial stages, but ultimately it's not universally true, nor is it a healthy attitude to hold onto indefinitely.

[OwlSoul]

I consider the person who contributes nothing as a dumper. Most likely the person is the lone-wolf one, who is passively waiting to see what will happen. Some people just cannot bare the humilation of being unloved, or treated bad, neglected, not getting what they want, so that they decide to leave the realtionship.

 

I've always been saying that dumpers are not monsters. They are just better sorted out/stable emotionally than dumpees.

[Miss_Willowick]

Very interesting information and it's allowed me some insight on the dynamics in the situation I was just in and am now recuperating from. From what I can see, based on this information here, my ex, who was the dumper, falls in the Adventurer Dumper category.

 

As for myself, the dumpee, I seem to mostly fall in the Revenger Dumpee category because even though I treated him like a prince where the last thing I wanted to do was 'rock the boat', my instincts and gut reaction to his ongoing deceptions including his intentional efforts to manipulate things by acting in certain ways to sabotage our relationship took over where it ultimately culminated in me lashing out at him in anger.

 

My blow-up was short but fierce and it was a perfectly natural response rooted in a simmering sense of rage that was deep within me that eventually needed to be released. It was an instinctual response to the situation I found myself in at that particular time.

 

In fact, it's not really too unlike a 'Fight-or-Flight Response' because that kind of expression of anger that I'm talking about here is activated automatically as a reaction to a single strong provocation that was in a form of some kind of intentional abuse or as a reaction to a series of intentional provocations in the form of abuse that had been simmering in a cauldron where it had finally boiled over.

 

I myself have complete control over it in terms of giving myself permission to express that kind of anger or not --- and if I know that I need to express it for my own protection and self-preservation I will drink a few glasses of wine to help me get in touch with it so it then comes to the surface. Otherwise, it just sits there inside of me gnawing away at the very core of my being and stressing me out.

[LoveB86]

I'm the cute dumpee. Innocent little me always getting hurt by someone.

 

Ex is anything heartless, cowardly, non emotional, all of the above. Not sure what part he falls in

[OwlSoul]

I'm the cute dumpee. Innocent little me always getting hurt by someone.

You have to admit you contribute your part into it as well. More you behave like a typical dumpee, more the dumper is pushed away.

 

Ex is anything heartless, cowardly, non emotional, all of the above. Not sure what part he falls in

Dumpers aren't the evil. They just happened to be more independent emotionally than dumpees. The dumper yesterday can easily turn to a typical dumpee tomorrow, is he/she will meet someone stronger.

[EmptyWalls]

Im cute awww . Actually a girl called me pretty the other night!?!? Dumped by the adventurer it seems.

[RiceaRoni]

damn...I'm the cute dumpee

[seahawker64]

Does setting her Car on fire make me a revenge Dumpee?

[JourneyLady]

Dumpers aren't the evil. They just happened to be more independent emotionally than dumpees. The dumper yesterday can easily turn to a typical dumpee tomorrow, is he/she will meet someone stronger.

 

My dumper was a dumpee yesterday, and the day before, and...

You get the picture. Basically he objected to these ladies that did the "fade" on him and then he acted as if he was doing it to me.

 

I'm pretty independent, but when in an LDR a guy won't talk to me face to face more than once a week, it just doesn't feel right. He was there on the computer all right, but using chat was "too much work". I know I didn't react well -- but I think he had issues and wasn't talking about it. I confronted and he got angry, insisting he was "about to" chat with me.

 

I'm not that upset now. I'm pretty sure he was a waste of time and not a fun person overall. Total opposite of his first self.

(I should mention that we had been chatting face to face DAILY before that week, so it wasn't asking for anything new.)

 

That said, I find this an interesting thread.

Edited April 28, 2013 by JourneyLady
more info