A little over a year later...

[AHaze]

It was a weird decision to come back and post here, I came to read another section but I came to Breaking Up and seen the usual... people posting "so I'm 1 month into NC", "So we broke up 2 weeks ago".

For the ones who don't wiggle their way back into the relationships and fall back into the honey trap, they have such a long way to go and nothing besides time can help them, NOTHING.

 

So last year, 20 years old, up until the start of 2012 I was an idiot who used girls for fun and sex, never had any intentions of being with anybody... regardless of what I told them.

 

Then somebody from my past appeared in my life and I fell in love for the first time,

I got burnt, and at this point... that's all I have to say about the relationship.

 

I spent at least 8-10months in a deep depression, absolutely heart broken and devastated, on the verge of suicide.

 

New years eve 12/13 I promised myself to stop looking at her facebook/twitter.

 

Feb/March/April 2013 I began to feel... "easier", I was the definition of "coping", not crippled, not happy, just coping.

 

June/July marked a year after breaking up... I was determined to fix my life in every way, health/finance/leisure/everything.

 

3 days ago after having an interview with a great company, I've landed myself a good job which starts in November, so plenty of time to relax and prepare.

 

On the same day, I quit smoking, it's approaching 72 hours since I last had a cigarette, I'm using an e-cig/vaporizer - it's EASY!!

 

I'm going to join the gym in September, get my physique back, I miss my abs.

 

Next on the list is getting my driving licence back, I got banned in 2011, time to get back on the road.

 

Start my job... get comfortable, and then maybe even consider allowing myself to meet somebody new, in fact, I'm looking forward to it.

 

It's been the hardest year of my life, but things are finally looking up and I feel like I've finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel, like I've "made it out alive on the other side"... I feel good and I'm ready to start living again.

 

When I think about her, I feel... satisfied, at peace with myself, no pain... just a lesson learnt in a previous chapter of my life,

And that's why I'm posting this, for the people who don't know where it ends and if things get better...

Trust me, it does - but it doesn't come by way of a new girlfriend, partying, 1 night stands and being reckless,

It comes with time, allowing yourself to heal, and then comes an overpowering urge to get back on your feet and improve yourself as a person, genuinely doing it for YOU and nobody else.

Edited August 28, 2013 by AHaze

[robbysurfs]

I had been in this on and off relationship with ex and now I think its finally over its been 4 months and I am a mess. Around this time we would get back together and start over again but this time its over for good and I feel sick. Thanks for posting this because I feel like nothing matters everything is grey and dull I want the pain to end but you gave me hope that there is life after heartache and time heals....Oh and btw I quit smoking 2 yrs ago the best choice I ever made keep it up and that I can tell you that will get easier...

[AHaze]

I had been in this on and off relationship with ex and now I think its finally over its been 4 months and I am a mess. Around this time we would get back together and start over again but this time its over for good and I feel sick. Thanks for posting this because I feel like nothing matters everything is grey and dull I want the pain to end but you gave me hope that there is life after heartache and time heals....Oh and btw I quit smoking 2 yrs ago the best choice I ever made keep it up and that I can tell you that will get easier...

 

I'm 21 mate, I don't really wanna be the one to tell a 37 year old man that life does get better after being heart broken,

I don't know if you're already been there and done it, if it was a long time ago and you've forgotten, or maybe this was your first love... I don't know.

 

But yeah, I've done it... fallen truly in love with a girl who I thought I would make a life with, and she told me the same.

And I've lived the break up, get back together thing.

And I've lived the final, real break up.

 

Worst thing in the world,

I've buried close relatives to cancer/murder, buried close friends to tragic accidents and violence...

At the time, none of those things compare to losing her... now I feel ashamed of myself for feeling like that at the time... but that's being in love.

 

But ask me now, bring my friend back who died in a motorcycle accident... or rewind time and correct all of the mistakes in the relationship and be with her?... I'd have my friend back without even considering, no contest.

 

My answer would have been different 10 months ago, but I'm over it, I see it as a lesson I had to learn sooner or later... my future is brighter than it's ever been and she isn't in it, and to be honest I'm glad, because I don't think it would be as bright if she was

 

You can feel like that too... if you let time do it's thing, keep your chin up and wait for the huge wave of motivation to fix yourself up and be happy again... because trust me it will come eventually.

Edited August 29, 2013 by AHaze