Hate this feeling

[organizedchaos]

Try to make this short.

 

Gf broke up with me about two months ago after 3 years together. Did the initial trying to talk it out, texting, let's try to work on it. Saw each other twice but not making any progress. There were stretches of time where we didn't talk, she'd reach out, and cycle would resume. Finally, about two weeks ago I sent a text saying I'd give her all the space she needs even if it meant we may never get back together again and went NC. Since then, she sent me one text a week ago and I responded briefly and nothing else came of it. I'm trying hard for NC.

 

I disconnected from her on Facebook right after we initially broke up, but we're still connected on Instagram. I'm thinking I should disconnect b/c it's a constant reminder of her. No pictures of another guy or anything, but yesterday I broke my NC by making a funny comment on one of her pics. She didn't respond to it and I regret doing that. I feel like I may have backtracked a bit so I'm now making a conscious effort to continue NC no matter what (even though she continues to "like" many of my pics). I wish I had been stronger from the start and went NC two months ago, b/c I do want her to evaluate what we had and see if she misses it.

 

She has a birthday coming up in two weeks and not sure how to handle that either...

 

I will be reading many threads here for insight and advice.

[organizedchaos]

Hmm, two days ago my ex and I mutually broke up I guess you could say. She said "I'm done" through text. I never responded then she texted me "So we didn't break up?" I don't know why she texted me that, but I never responded. So I think she got the point. Anyways, her birthday is this Saturday. I bought her custom iphone case, custom key chains, and a Nike dri fit jacket. I'm not going to contact her, actually I already threw the gifts away. You guys broke up for a reason, I'm sure you were an awesome boyfriend to her. If she didn't realize it then, then she doesn't deserve to have you when she finally does.

 

I know it's hard, it sucks, and you are very upset, sad, depressed. Go NC deactivate everything, don't ask about her to friends. NC means literally not knowing who she is anymore.

 

EDIT: we dated for two years, first love, all that stuff.

 

I treated her so incredibly well...sticking to NC from now on. No comments, no likes, no texts. Was almost tempted to message a friend of hers on FB but chose not too.

 

Next thing to decide is, what to do with ALL of the photos of us on FB. We're not connected, but I can tell she still has all our photos up on her page. And I still have a lot of her friends as FB friends.

[JDPT]

Forget her birthday, it'll be just another day in the calendar for you. Move forward and eliminate all social media that may remind you of her, it's in your bes interest to do that. Focus on improving yourself and take it a day at a time.

[organizedchaos]

I deleted my Instagram, so all our photos are gone. I didn't delete her off Facebook because I don't use it regardless. I deactivated my twitter because I don't need to see her with other guys, acting like she's happy. I know her, she's not happy. But like every girl, they will try their best to make you seem like they are fine. I recommend deactivating Facebook for now. Once you're healed, then go and see what you want to do about the pictures. Also friends will post pictures of them. Deactivate it.

 

 

Thanks. I'm not going to deactivate my FB b/c of her and lose contact with all of my friends. I can just as easily block her so I can't find her and she can't find me. But I'm not going to that extreme. I can't see anything in her profile now except for photos I'm tagged in. So I just need to take action on that.

 

As for Instagram, going to unfollow there too. Not connected on social media anywhere else.

 

As for the birthday, it does seem harsh to not even acknowledge it, but I get that if she's choosing to walk out of my life, then she doesn't deserve any outward act of kindness that's even a hint of what I did for her in the past. Last year I went and decorated a whole section of a bar for her bday party. Let her sulk in those memories and what she's not getting this year.

[organizedchaos]

I have gone back and fourth on even sending a birthday text, however, like you said someone who walks out of your life does not deserve anything. I'm a freshman in college, she's a senior in high school. Last year, I bought her sperry's (over $100 and a simple Irish ring) nothing to spectacular but I also had the fan section at my high school sing her happy birthday at the football game. She's a cheerleader. I did everything for that girl. I was even planning on taking her to Chicago for an awesome date in addition to the gifts I purchased.

 

Focus on yourself, cut her out of your life. Go work out, get big. This really helps with stress. It will also make you feel better and if you see her down the road she will be enraged that you look better than you did when you two dated.

BUT, do this for you, not her.

 

I'm already in the best shape of my life. Dropped 35lbs in the last year and hitting the gym 3x/week. She already knows I'm in great shape and continuing to do so. Keeping myself very active and she's noticed based on Instagram photos.