Read my story. 2.5 Weeks of NC and counting

[Romaks]

I’m posting this mostly for myself because I think it’ll be a good outlet for me, and I want to reassess where I am after this brief period of NC. I also want to give my full story in hopes that someone has went through something similar and can give me more advice as I provide more details.

 

A few short months after I graduated from high school (I stayed in town for college) this shy junior girl that has been pursuing me finally got me to take her out on a date. We went to the movies, and we instantly felt a connection. I gave her a kiss, and I drove home smiling the rest of the way.

 

Fast forward. We started seeing each other as often as we could and we NEVER stopped talking. I couldn’t believe that a girl could make me feel like she did. We’d go on our dates and always would end up in each other’s arms and embracing each other passionately. There was nothing I enjoyed doing on this earth more than holding her.

She introduced me to everyone in her family, and I mean everyone! Her parents are divorced so I met both sides, and all of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. They all loved me, and would even give me pet names. Her sister adored me, and we became really good friends too. I fit right in.

 

After 3 months of being together, I finally confessed my love for her because it just felt right, and she reciprocated fully as I knew she would. We were so in love.

 

I’ve had sex a few times before, but with this girl, we waited 8 months because I was afraid of pressuring her and I wanted her to make sure it was what she wanted. After we shared intimacy the first time (her first time), she actually apologized to me for making me wait, and would constantly want more and more. I thought I was in heaven.

Soon enough, we’d talk about our future together and how amazing our family would be and how great our kids would be, and so on. We had a few petty arguments, but it was mostly because we missed each other and had a few misunderstandings through text, so there was NOTHING major.

 

She told me many times that there was NO DOUBT that I was the one she wanted to marry, and she was so happy that she found someone at the young age of 16/17.

 

I always treated her very well, and tried my hardest to make her happy, and help her in any way I could.

We were going strong, and then it finally hit our one year anniversary. It was, to date, the best day that I have ever spent with her, and probably the best day of my life. She was left delirious after the sex, and she posted our pictures from that day all over her social networks with all these things about how amazing I am. It seems that we kept falling deeper and deeper in love each time that we saw each other, and I was never happier. I got her a gold necklace that she absolutely loved to show off.

 

She even confessed to me that she’d catch herself in class holding the necklace and day dreaming about me and how badly she missed me when I wasn’t around.

Things were still going strong after our anniversary for a week as I went to a few of her sports functions and took her to dinner afterwards. The passion seemed to only get stronger.

 

One day, she texts me and tells me that she’s super stressed out from school (she’s a senior now) with her AP classes, and applying for college, and so on. I was there for her and listened to her problems like I always do. Judging by the way she was talking though, was strange. It was perfectly normal the night before the same “I love you so much” talk, but that day it was totally different. She insisted that nothing was wrong, but by the way she was replying to me, I knew there was a bigger issue.

 

After a day and a half of this, I finally broke down and called her crying and asking her to tell me what the problem is. She finally gave in, and told me this… She has a guy friend (who I know and who respects me) that just got dumped by his girlfriend after 3 years. He was crying and my gf was comforting him. After a while, he tells that he would have kissed her if we weren’t together as he’s crying. The problem is, she said that a part of her wished that he did.

I was absolutely devastated. She was saying that it wasn’t him in particular, but it hit her that she’s never going to be able to reciprocate advances from any other guys. She says she can’t make a college decision without my influence because it’ll stop her from where she actually wants to go.

 

Some other assorted bull**** she said:

“I’m so young…”

“I hope I realize what an idiot I am.”

“I see you differently now.”

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

“I need to know that this is what I want, and right now, I don’t know that.”

“You deserve better.”

“I always hurt you, don’t I?”

“You’re going to hate me for this.”

“I need to experience other guys and you need to experience other girls.”

“I don’t want to get your hopes up in the future.”

“I’ll always have feelings for you.”

“Maybe we can try again when I’m all settled in college.”

 

So she pretty much ends it right there, and we talk in person the next day. She seemed to have already made her decision.

 

I cried, of course, but I did not beg. I talked about what she meant to me, and how much I cared about her, and so on… She started crying and even started holding my hand. I asked her what she was thinking, and she replied with, “Well you just spent 30 minutes giving me reasons to stay with you…” We left it at that pretty much. I told her to think about what I said, and I drove away.

 

Whatever. She assumed that she’d be able to keep me around, so that I could be there for her as I always have. She totally relies on me to bitch about what she’s going through because I’m the only one that will listen. “I can’t just never see you or talk to you again.”

 

After that, I went home and discovered LS. It seems that my ex is a GIGS case, and it makes sense that she’s so young, and I was her first love, and all that. I told her that it was not fair to expect me to just be friends over night. I told her no contact indefinitely. She definitely wasn’t expecting that.

 

We keep each other on our social networks (we really don’t post that often anyway). She continued to tweet things that are obviously about me like “I really miss talking to you” and “If you’re happy, then I’m happy. Simple as that.” I use facebook and it seems that her tweets are always after I post a picture with friends or something like that, so she goes back to twitter to respond in her own way. I have NEVER acknowledged any of these posts, and I am just trying to continue and live my life, and I find that I’m healing very quickly. I have been blind-sided this though, and I’m still really confused.

 

This has been really devastating and unexpected, and right now, I’m questioning everything.

[Romaks]

Similar stories and advice would be greatly appreciated

[ponchsox]

You guys are so young. She needs time to grow up and experience life. Stay in contact and be friends with her. Sometimes, you don't know what you got 'till it's gone. You guys may cross paths in the future and end up getting married. Sounds like you both have a spot in your hearts for each other. Don't give up hope but in the mean time, enjoy your life as a young adult and do things that young guys do. Someone will sweep you off your feet. If it's not you, it will be someone else. Just be confident, be yourself, and you will have plenty of options, my friend.

[Romaks]

You guys are so young. She needs time to grow up and experience life. Stay in contact and be friends with her. Sometimes, you don't know what you got 'till it's gone. You guys may cross paths in the future and end up getting married. Sounds like you both have a spot in your hearts for each other. Don't give up hope but in the mean time, enjoy your life as a young adult and do things that young guys do. Someone will sweep you off your feet. If it's not you, it will be someone else. Just be confident, be yourself, and you will have plenty of options, my friend.

 

I plan to do NC for a while, and then contact her on her birthday in a few months. It's going to kill me to try to keep in touch if she doesn't want to do the same.

[Romaks]

I feel like I'm back to where I started. I'm missing her like crazy.

[Romaks]

I really shouldn't do this but I go on my ex's twitter all the time. She's constantly posting ambiguous stuff about me. Just recently it was "Going back and reading old texts..:/ :(" I know she posts these things for me.

 

It's comforting that after all this time she's still thinking about me and missing me. It's also kind of comforting, in a way, to know that her coping abilities aren't as strong as mine. I've already rid myself of all reminders of her while I know she hasn't made many attempts to move on since she's constantly revisiting the past.

 

I would love it if she were to reach out for reconciliation, but not because I want to get back together. I want her to do that so that we may once again talk about our relationship in a lot more honest way. I definitely see a future with this girl, but I know that that's in fate's hands and it's very premature since this'll have to be further down the line. I want to be able to see her now and then (romantically), but in a way so that we both know that we have no expectations before her inevitable move to college. I want to leave her with great memories of us and a romantic summer before she goes away. I really do love her so much.

[thora-tiki]

Hi, Romaks

 

How are you?

 

Great job in deleting old text, reminders, etc from/of the ex.

 

You wrote:

I've been NC for 3 weeks and counting now.

Woooo-hoooooooo! Yeah, baby! Aha!

 

The worst thing you can do is try to look too far ahead -

take it one day at a time.

 

Make it a point to get out a little everyday, not to get over your ex,

but to get back into life.

 

Your success hinges on the way you visualise things.

 

Don't think about this as leaving your ex behind, because you are not.

 

You are leaving the old failed relationship behind, and that is a good thing.

 

The longer you allow yourself to cling to the old memories,

the longer it will take to evolve, and start making new memories.

About her twatter comment:

 

You are afraid she'll move on.

 

I know she is worried that you will move on from her too,

this is a two-way street.

 

She will try dating to smoke you out, write lame or sweet stuff on twatter,

and try to make you come crawling back to her, then she will know she still has you on the hook,

and just kick you to the curb again.

 

You are in control now, that is why she wrote that on twatter -

you kicked her ass, with no contact (in a good way) - she is not used to that.

 

This is a great start - don't blow it.

I would lay low for a while, and get your personal evolution going,

there will be plenty of time to show off your progress later on -

it is much too soon right now.

 

She will only evolve if she has to, you both will only evolve if you have to,

so you must stick to no contact for as long as it takes.

 

I once read somewhere someone asked what the difference was between rich, happy,

successful people, and all the rest of the world.

 

The answer was: these people were willing to do what the other people weren't willing to do,

and did not give up.

 

You need that same attitude to get your life back, and get yourself on the track to total happiness.

 

Anyone can do this (no contact), if they focus, and are willing to do whatever it takes.

 

And you will continue to feel stronger, this is an evolution on both sides, it takes time, there is no rush.

 

There isn't a secret window of opportunity that you have to worry about missing.

 

The only thing that is important right now is your health and happiness,

the rest will come in due time.

 

This is why I say the fastest way to get your ex back, is by getting your life back first.

 

In-order to do that you must let go of the past (old failed relationship),

that is the hardest part to understand.

 

You are not here to forget your ex, just the old failed relationship you had with them.

 

This is why people keep breaking up over, and over again.

 

They never let the old failed relationship die, and they just keep bringing it back to life over and over,

like a fu*king nightmare.

 

Because they are scared to let go of the old failed relationship because

they think that it means they will never get their ex back if they do.

 

And there-in lies the endless circle of hell most people keep themselves trapped in.

Gaah!

What I am suggesting (no contact, evolving, then when ready, you reconnect),

does not end in «keep in touch».

 

There are only 2 outcomes:

1) you end up reconnecting with the ex, and there is now a mutual respect and desire


or



2) you realise you want more, and deserve more and you go on to live your life

even happier than when you were with her!

 

So, until you feel ready, keep up the good work, and have some fun.

You are thinking about dating - I seem to remember reading that in one of your threads - great, this will speed up your evolution.

 

Don't you want her to be the one panicking what you are doing with whom and when.

 

Yes you do.

 

Hah!

 

You don't have to brag about it, or tell mutual friend you are dating or having fun without the ex.

She'll know.

 

From the magic of making up:

«When you take care of you, you put out a vibe that no one can see but everyone can feel.

It’s like a magnetic force that brings good people toward you. This is critical to helping you get back with your ex.»

 

The best thing about no contact is you can't possibly lose.

 

So for the next few months, start dating and having fun, and focus on YOU!

Yay, you!

 

And when you are ready, you call her and ask her out for a short get together.

 

She is not your number ONE anymore, she is just one a of many beautiful girls you date.

If you are not ready to date someone new, then how can you be ready to date your ex?

 

My theory:

Do not rush no contact, or you'll be the rebound relationship with your ex.

Yes!

 

Let's say that you two get back together in a month or three.

You persuaded someone to take another chance,

this will amount to nothing more than a rebound if things haven't changed.

You will probably be broken up again in a few weeks/months.

 

Think about it:

We all have read about guys or girls on here that tells us their ex boy/girlfriend

got a new boy/girlfriend a month or three after the break up.

 

We all tell him/her: The new boy/girl is rebound.

And we are mostly right, about 90 % of the time.

 

But this goes for us as well.

 

The test is really: If you can go on a few dates with a new guy/girl,

you are ready to reconnect/date the ex again.

 

But if the ex hasn't dated or evolved, he/she is probably still not ready,

and he/she will pull you back into the old failed relationship or make you the rebound,

and you will be broken up not long after.

 

How do you know if he/she has dated?

You don't.

 

And you shouldn't know anything about him/her during no contact.

Meeting him/her again should be like a blind date/meeting a stranger that resembles someone you used to know.

 

If this is ever going to work with our exes, it has got to be a new relationship, with fresh new perspectives, and attitudes.

 

Do you get the picture?

[vascularity]

The test is really: If you can go on a few dates with a new guy/girl,

you are ready to reconnect/date the ex again.

 

I agree with most of the content in your post, but this is a screaming red flag to me, so I beg to differ. I've been on several dates since my breakup/ex that I'm definitely not over, and there's a world of difference between humoring a new prospect and trying to rekindle something that intrinsically means the world to you. That's the whole purpose of NC - getting over it enough to where your emotions don't cloud your judgment if you are to pursue a reconciliation, whether it turns out to be platonic or romantic. From personal experience, it's probably prudent to wait until you're absolutely sure that you're not emotionally implicated when thinking of/talking to your ex - merely starting to get over them or feeling marginally better is just the tip of the iceberg, and reinitiating contact when you have a subconscious agenda to get back together is hell. Seriously, if you think you overanalyze the falling action of your past relationship now, just wait until you open up the accursed door of hope - THAT will eat you apart. Just bide your time - short of working on yourself, that's all that'll really help.

[Antares]

Romaks; First of all, you seem like very mature, emotionally well grounded individual. Most guys your age are all over the place. Just reading your words, it appears that you actually have a pretty reasonable take on things.

 

I know that it hurts a million times over and it sucks to lose your first love.

 

Here's the thing. None of her excuses were BS. They were all very truthful. Without sounding condescending, at your age, people go through a lot of change in a very little time frame. She used some generic lines, but the truth is she wants to experience more in life.

 

When I was in college, most of my buds had GFs from highschool. Somehow all through college they stuck together, despite being at different schools and despite the 'I need to get out and see the world' mentality. But a funny thing happened shortly after we graduated. They all broke up. None of them are still together. All of them wanted to experience new things, visit new places, discover new music and meet new people.

 

It's a part of life at your age...and it's actually a good thing. I know that you're afraid that she'll forget about you and move on. She will definitely move on, but if you're her first she won't forget you. BUT that doesn't mean she'll want you back. In a couple of years, should you ever run into her, you might be surprised to see how much she's actually changed, and the same goes for you.

 

Keep going NC. Count yourself lucky that you found this philosophy early on life. Allow this experience to make you a better person. A person that could attract any new girl, including your ex.

 

The truth is, she's already gone. And with a little more time, you'll be gone too. And you'll be off meeting new and amazing women.

 

Lastly, do not contact her on her birthday. Do not try to plan future days where you can finally contact her. That will hinder your health. Whether or not you are over her or not, or if you still cling to this old relationship, do not - I repeat - do not call her on this day. (Of all days) The only reason you would do it is to start a conversation with her, in hopes of possibly getting her back. It's not entirely intentional, but it's manipulative. She'll see this. She'll instantly know that you still have a thing for her and you'll be on the back burner. Because eventually, when she's super alone or some a-hole breaks up with, she'll call you and use you. And that will then HURT you.

 

And if you really love her, think about this; getting a call from you on that day, might actually hurt her on that special day. And that would ultimately HURT you.

 

Right now it's time to think about yourself. Become an awesome individual.

[thora-tiki]

Great job in going on dates, vascularity!

It will get better.

 

You don't need to throw yourself in a pit of sweaty women to try to take your mind off of the break up.

 

On the other-hand you can't become a hermit either, you have to take little baby steps forward,

as long as you keep moving forward you're doing great.

 

Do those things that make you happy.

Since I know you may be thinking, only ex makes me happy, and we can all relate to that thought,

 

Dating, going out, and having fun, is the quickest way to evolve past a break up and get your life back,

positive energy attracts more positive energy.

 

We don't need the ex to be happy. You know this.

Take it one day at a time.

 

I wrote:

«The test is really: If you can go on a few dates with a new guy/girl,

you are ready to reconnect/date the ex again.»

I see that the way I wrote it, it can be misunderstood:

 

Reconnecting is the carrot on the end of the stick.

 

Just because it's there doesn't mean you're ready to use it, or need to use it.

If I told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?

 

Hah!

 

Only try to reconnect, or date, when you are ready.

And even then, when you feel ready, wait another month,

just to be sure (this goes for the reconnect).

 

When I say reconnect the ex, I do not mean trying to «fix» the old failed relationship

From what I have read in this forum and various other sources,

a lot of people fail to get their ex back because they don't work on themselves,

they just wait for 30-60 days to be up, then go and make all the same mistakes again.

 

I mean, it takes time to get ready to reconnect.

According to the books, we only have a month to do this.

 

Some books even mention that after the 3 month mark your chances are greatly decreased.

But I really believe the magic starts after a few months.

 

I mean, who could possibly evolve and transform their life, get over a dead relationship,

date and take up new hobbies, get ready for a reconnection,

reconnect and start a fresh new relationship with their ex in a month or two?

And if we have rushed no contact, we are back in the same old relationship =

another go at a dying relationship involving the same two un-evolved people.

 

So lets take our time and stop worrying about the ex moving on.

If he/she moves on then it wasn't meant to be!

 

When you do feel ready to meet the ex for a short coffee date ask yourself this before you break no contact:

 

How sad would you be if he/she said no?

Would you be a little sad, but shrug it off and make other plans?

Ready means «waiting» (working on yourself, having fun, not spending too much time thinking about the break up, etc.)

until you are really ready, not rushing things because you can't wait any longer, or you are scared they will move on.

 

So if we're not emotionally ready to stay in control during reconnect,

then we are not ready.

 

I agree with Antares, do not try to reconnect with her on her birthday.

[Romaks]

Wow guys, I REALLY appreciate all of this input, and I'm going to be reading it multiple times to be able to take it all in.

 

It helps so much to hear from people as wise and experienced as you especially since you all seem to fundamentally agree with each other's advice.

 

I'm taking very positive steps to move on, and I definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel, so that's very encouraging. It helps to have a positive attitude like the one I've trained myself to maintain. I'm trying hard not to dwell on the past too much and to continue my evolution. Today was actually a great day!

 

It is very difficult, however, to think about this coming year and all of the experiences I was supposed to have with her like graduation, prom, and the like... I know that, even if she wanted to get back together with me, It would be pointless and impossible since she'd be moving away shortly anyway.

 

I guess the hardest thing for me is to think of how much of a waste this all is. We're still so in love, and we had such a promising future in store, but because of all of the external pressures and social expectations we can't continue our relationship any further. I'm afraid that if we never reconnect in the future, we will constantly regret this, think of what could have been, and never fully be happy.

 

What you guys said earlier was on point as well. I AM very scared that she will forget me. I want to get to a point with her down the road where we can talk as friends but remain on a slightly elevated emotional connection. Does that even make sense?

[Romaks]

And her birthday will be 4 months from now...so it'll be over 5 months of NC at that point.

 

Also

 

Thorta-tiki I read somewhere in one of your threads about sending the email about agreeing to the break up. I feel that I should send something like that in the future because, after all, I am seeing how the break up is a good thing for us (in the grand scheme of things) because of the bad timing that we find ourselves in now.

[todreaminblue]

I think that no contact is a way to move on .....not to rekindle a new relationship from an old one.......i have limited contact with my ex phone calls as we have kids together ...we are actually friends now......theres always an undercurrent and i have moved on from him...there's an undercurrent because we were very passionate with each other and even though i have moved on that old pull could be reignited, when you knwo soem one intimately body and spirit it is impossible not to remember so any old relationship isnt a new relationship its a rekindled old one.......the emotions dont go away and it would be foolish to think they do ....i look at pictures of my ex now and feel nothing no sexual excitement.....but....if i were to meet him in person after seven plus years of not sighting him ....i dont know what would happen so i dont take the risk because no matter how far i have come.....all that could change.......especially since i am single....he isnt....if i was with someone there would be no chance .....because i am faithful......he had issues with fidelity....and i do believe he had gigs...because he regrets leaving has told em so neumerous times...doesn tmake it better though he has regrets......... i could become vulnerable to him as he could be vulnerable to me...because being intimate with someone is not something you just forget...that i swhy i feel marriage before sex is best..its killer to get over someone you shared intimate times with and hard to move on from...its there.....

 

 

 

i would suggest and in my opinion, you dont even think or take up the fact you might get back with your ex and her moving on would be the kindest thing for her to do for you...even though it will hurt like hell.....you need to move on too......be selective and sure about the person that you date dotn just get ouyt there.......you wont be happy doing it........... you will possibly only compare what you feel dating soemoen new with the passion you shared with yoru ex....thats not good....make sure what you feel when you do move on to another or date someone is strong emotion and that you feel happy to move on with no thoughts of your ex clouding your judgement like i wish it was her i was seeing......i wish you well..........deb

Edited October 8, 2013 by todreaminblue

[Romaks]

The point is we should not get back together any time soon. I do, however, see a future with her once we're all settled in a few years, so there's none of this pressure and mystery about where our lives are going.

[Antares]

I guess the hardest thing for me is to think of how much of a waste this all is. We're still so in love, and we had such a promising future in store, but because of all of the external pressures and social expectations we can't continue our relationship any further. I'm afraid that if we never reconnect in the future, we will constantly regret this, think of what could have been, and never fully be happy.

 

What you guys said earlier was on point as well. I AM very scared that she will forget me. I want to get to a point with her down the road where we can talk as friends but remain on a slightly elevated emotional connection. Does that even make sense?

 

1. She's not still in love with you.

 

2. It's not a waste! It's such a shame that we as a society, allow ourselves to believe that failure is a waste. Failed relationships are never a waste. As long as you learn from them. What does a 'successful' relationship mean? What, that it's only successful if you're together for the next 70 years?

 

This idea is ingrained into us during school. We spend 12 of our most impressionable years being made to believe that we must always be successful. School was invented, not to really educate us, but to teach us how to follow directions. It's organized to keep the masses, who were once mostly in farming, into being good worker bees in factories. Smart enough to follow directions and push the correct buttons, not smart enough to rise up. Eventually the system was upgraded to get the middle class into good office positions, where they could easily follow their boss's orders. Buy good cars and keep their bosses rich.

 

We're taught that we MUST follow directions. That following directions (and memorizing trivia) we get an A. Getting an A means we graduate. Graduating means we get a good job. And once we get a job, we must follow our Boss's orders. If we don't, we're fired. And if we're fired, we have no money. And then we can't eat. And then we die. And what a failure that would all be. And at each step, we are threatened with failure. We are promised that this will happen to us if we don't follow the rules. And we become scared of it.

 

See?

 

You should never believe that failure is bad. The people who never fail are either liars, or never tried at anything and will never be successful.

 

Dude. You had a great girl, who loved you. You didn't make any mistakes. That's not failure, and it's certainly not a waste. It just wasn't meant to last. You learn from it, and slowly, you'll discover exactly what kind of girl you want/need.

 

Some girls will be a huge part of your life. Some won't. And guess what? Just because a girl leaves you, doesn't make her a bad person. Or even that she made a 'mistake' by not wanting to spend her time with you. It just means that at the end of the day, you're journey goes elsewhere.

[Romaks]

Ugh, yeah you're right.

 

I shouldn't even try to analyze what's going on with her. There's no way I or you can know the extent of it or how she actually feels, and I should just focus on moving on.

 

Again, I really appreciate the advice.

[Romaks]

Well I feel kind of liberated because I just went in and blocked her on every possible social network. I even set my web browser to block her profile pages (she's not set on private) so I can't look at them when I'm logged out. Sometime's it's hard to be a software engineer because I'll find a way if I really need to hahaha

[h0000]

coming to this forum it seems the majority of the dumpees are male..which surprises me very much...i thought more guys were jerks..

[Romaks]

Nah, women are heartless

[h0000]

Then why am I moping on here ?..oh I wish I was heartless..falling in love sucks

[Romaks]

Who knows anything for sure anymore. Keep your head up and move forward.

[h0000]

I do wonder if time can magically change my mind/feelings. .cuz now I just cant see much hope that i will stop wanting him back.

[Romaks]

Here's my full story if you don't know. I encourage you to read it for this to make sense.

 

So today I decided to break NC after a full month. I don't know why I did it, but I just felt it was right. I didn't really want reconciliation, and truth is, I'm not really sure what I wanted from her.

 

 

I sent her this:

I've been doing a lot of thinking obviously and I really do believe we had a great relationship, but you're totally right... we're just too young to be getting so serious and having such expectations in the future, it just wasn't realistic, not fair for either of us, and our immaturity was very obvious (I know mine was). I'm starting to think clearly and I realize you definitely made the right choice for both of us instead of stretching the relationship any further and causing more pain. I've learned a lot about myself this past month, and I can honestly say that I can look back on things positively, and I've made nothing but good improvements in my life because of all this, and I hope you're doing the same. So focus on school and getting in where you want to go Thank you for giving me the space I needed to be able to think like this on my own. I know that we'll be able to have better and stronger relationships with whomever we end up being. You'll forever be on my mind.

 

She responded shortly after: It's funny that you sent me this now because literally just last night I had finally accepted the fact that I might never get to talk to you again. I'm glad you did though because it was so hard for me not to text you during the past month. You were on my mind every single day. I'm glad you understand that this is truly what's best for us. We had an amazing relationship and I don't regret one second of it. I know now that I probably won't ever find someone that will love me as much as you did but as difficult of a realization that is, I know I made the right decision. You'll always be the first person I ever loved and I think a part of me will always love you.

 

ME: I think that we definitely could have worked out if it were not for the poor timing. Also I know that I'll always have a special place for you in my heart because first loves are always the strongest. I know that if I ever see you again in my adult life, all the feelings will rush back up to the surface and it'll be like nothing ever happened. I actually believe in things being meant to be because i know that in the future we either will find somebody better suited for each other, or just both end up feeling even stronger about each other after going through a few relationships and experiencing more in life.

 

Her: You know that I believe in things being meant to be too. If we are meant to be, we will get back together at some point. It's as simple as that. I hope you understand that my feelings for you didn't just disappear. I still care a great deal about you. When I saw that you blocked me on every social media I was at skit practice and I literally broke down in front of my entire class. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, I just want you to know that I can't handle you not being in my life. I understand why you did it though so that's why I didn't say anything. I actually appreciated it in a way because when I saw your profile picture with [My baby brother] I started crying. I couldn't take seeing you do things and me not being a part of them.

 

We talked on the phone for a few mins after (I had to run to work), and thinks sounded like normal. She was surprised I lost so much weight, and we talked about school, and her college applications and stuff like that.

 

I think you guys get the gist of all of this. I'm not really sure how to feel about all this. I'm kind of relieved to be honest. I know in my heart that she's the one, and I hope that in a few years after she's done everything that I've done, she'll come to her senses. I did a lot of growing up the year before we started dating, and I know she hasn't experienced all of that yet - that's why I'm sure she's the one, and she has doubt.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well, as long as you don't continue to do this it's not harmful. It wasn't terribly productive either -- she basically got to unload her emotions on you for nothing. But I wouldn't take very much hope from that. She didn't say anything remotely close to "I want you back", she basically reinforced that she didn't. And you better not sit around holding a candle for her for years. Would be a waste of your time.

[Romaks]

Again, I wouldn't take her back, and I'd be offended if she said that. I just thought I'd share what happened. I think I'll remain LC.