TylerDurdenn Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 NYE she text me saying 'I miss you, it's just hit me what I've lost' I didn't reply. She has just literally text me again saying 'Still miss you' I am very surprised at this.. WTF? Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Breadcrumbs Ego boost Ease of guilt No apology No invitation to reconcile Garbage 6 Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I miss you How are you? What are you doing? = crumbs I want you back Let's work things out. I made a mistake I still love you = recon 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 "I miss you" does not equal "I want to get back together". I would stay firm and not respond. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Let it hit her some more. Maybe she's realizing. You were a big part of her life, right? Sometimes even dumpers don't like letting go of those connections, even if they only want "friendship". If you ever reply, being cordial and business-like is the way to go...but those "missing you" messages are totally breadcrumbs. Good for you for not responding. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 NYE she text me saying 'I miss you, it's just hit me what I've lost' I didn't reply. She has just literally text me again saying 'Still miss you' I am very surprised at this.. WTF? Ha! Bask in this. And do not reply. Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Suppose they could be construed as breadcrumbs, but i just read your first thread and you said she ended it because of your fault 'to lazy' I dont know, do you still love her? Would you love to be back together? Seems like she is reaching out a little, tiny amount here, and after 3-4 months she still saying she misses you? Id be happy if i were you, nice little validated ego boost there. Still, she should be doing more though, like landing up at your doorstep asking you out again. Tread carefully, theres always a very fine line to be drawn with no contact v 'breadcrumbs' Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thank you guys. I'm just surprised this is coming from her as she was so stone cold at the beginning of the break up. Oh well maybe now she knows how I once felt. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thank you guys. I'm just surprised this is coming from her as she was so stone cold at the beginning of the break up. Oh well maybe now she knows how I once felt. Leave her to her demons. You want her marinating in it. Continue to ignore her, it truly is the best revenge. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Suppose they could be construed as breadcrumbs, but i just read your first thread and you said she ended it because of your fault 'to lazy' I dont know, do you still love her? Would you love to be back together? Seems like she is reaching out a little, tiny amount here, and after 3-4 months she still saying she misses you? Id be happy if i were you, nice little validated ego boost there. Still, she should be doing more though, like landing up at your doorstep asking you out again. Tread carefully, theres always a very fine line to be drawn with no contact v 'breadcrumbs' If she wants him back, she'll do the work. He's not required to justify himself one iota. If she wants him back, she will beg, plead and scrape her knees in obesiance. If she's deterred by him ignoring her, she doesn't really want it, she's just fishing. What she's required to do now, is some heavy freakin' lifting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Suppose they could be construed as breadcrumbs, but i just read your first thread and you said she ended it because of your fault 'to lazy' I dont know, do you still love her? Would you love to be back together? Seems like she is reaching out a little, tiny amount here, and after 3-4 months she still saying she misses you? Id be happy if i were you, nice little validated ego boost there. Still, she should be doing more though, like landing up at your doorstep asking you out again. Tread carefully, theres always a very fine line to be drawn with no contact v 'breadcrumbs' I do love her, and I would love to give it another go but I know how empty an 'i miss you' can be just by reading other peoples experiences. Wish she didn't text me though I did ask her to never contact me again 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Leave her to her demons. You want her marinating in it. Continue to ignore her, it truly is the best revenge. I fell for this with a couple of exes. The moment you answer, you become the sucker. Exes like this aren't serious. It's all a game and the dumpee is an old toy they enjoy playing with until a new, shinier toy comes along. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 More importantly, she woke me up now I can't get back to sleep. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I do love her, and I would love to give it another go but I know how empty an 'i miss you' can be just by reading other peoples experiences. Wish she didn't text me though I did ask her to never contact me again Yeah, i thought so. I dont have much experience with 'breadcrumbs' or a situation like yours, but thinking about it a little more, even if she did leave you because of your 'Lazy ways' she still did break your heart, so she deffo has to make more effort. Like, what she said is nice for you to read, wish i received those texts, but she really needs to be smashing down your door with a sledgehammer, or laying out wheel spikes to stop you on the roads to tell you she wants you back! Keep ignoring like others have said. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Yeah, i thought so. I dont have much experience with 'breadcrumbs' or a situation like yours, but thinking about it a little more, even if she did leave you because of your 'Lazy ways' she still did break your heart, so she deffo has to make more effort. Like, what she said is nice for you to read, wish i received those texts, but she really needs to be smashing down your door with a sledgehammer, or laying out wheel spikes to stop you on the roads to tell you she wants you back! Keep ignoring like others have said. Yes I was lazy, I was comfortable and thought she'd never leave me. I never intentionally hurt or disrespected her, maybe why we ended on such good terms. I'm sure it has taken a lot for her to send that text, she is quite a reserved person. Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Lol Tyler. Dude let her sit there and her head spin. Nothing she's said means anything to you. Buckle up, it's just begun. Continue to stay strong and keep posting. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 NYE she text me saying 'I miss you, it's just hit me what I've lost' I didn't reply. She has just literally text me again saying 'Still miss you' I am very surprised at this.. WTF? How long have you been broken up and NC for until this happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 How long have you been broken up and NC for until this happened? Broken up since beggining of November and not sure of NC maybe two weeks.. Link to post Share on other sites
Softie Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 More importantly, she woke me up now I can't get back to sleep. People always put your phone on silence/do not disturb - everyone is entitled & NEEDS a good nights rest ESP when recovering from a BU & heart break Link to post Share on other sites
SurplusIndifference Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 If she wants him back, she'll do the work. He's not required to justify himself one iota. If she wants him back, she will beg, plead and scrape her knees in obesiance. If she's deterred by him ignoring her, she doesn't really want it, she's just fishing. What she's required to do now, is some heavy freakin' lifting. I feel that a lot of you are bitter and jaded about this sort of thing. If you are cold to her, why would she beg/plead/etc? If you want her back, don't be cold. You can reply to her, just do it on your terms. I would reply to a "I miss you" text with a "Hey, how's it going?" I would dismiss the context of the message, but not ignore the message. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I feel that a lot of you are bitter and jaded about this sort of thing. If you are cold to her, why would she beg/plead/etc? If you want her back, don't be cold. You can reply to her, just do it on your terms. I would reply to a "I miss you" text with a "Hey, how's it going?" I would dismiss the context of the message, but not ignore the message. I miss you doesn't mean I want you back. Sure it's nice to hear that from your ex, but replying to that kind of text won't solve anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I feel that a lot of you are bitter and jaded about this sort of thing. If you are cold to her, why would she beg/plead/etc? If you want her back, don't be cold. You can reply to her, just do it on your terms. I would reply to a "I miss you" text with a "Hey, how's it going?" I would dismiss the context of the message, but not ignore the message. That's great, but that doesn't really help Tyler out. In fact, it's one of his worst possible plays. He doesn't need to cowtow to her and answer her when she beckons him. Him not responding to a late-night text isn't going to discourage her if she is serious about reconciling with him. And if him being a bit skeptical is going to dissuade her, she's not serious about reconciling in the first place. She screwed it up by breaking up with him. It's up to her to go above and beyond the call of duty to get him back and he is not obligated to make it easy on her. In fact, if he does, she'll lose interest pretty quickly. And Tyler, put your damn phone on silent. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I feel that a lot of you are bitter and jaded about this sort of thing. If you are cold to her, why would she beg/plead/etc? If you want her back, don't be cold. You can reply to her, just do it on your terms. I would reply to a "I miss you" text with a "Hey, how's it going?" I would dismiss the context of the message, but not ignore the message. I would ignore them because I don't go back to a person who dumps me. It's not about being bitter, it's about having self respect. But each to their own. I think Tyler's gf could stand to do some decent self-reflection. Silence on Tyler's end will encourage that. Oh, when I've ignored my exes, it's only made them beg harder. I don't understand the psychology, I just encourage the dumpee to use the leverage available to them. Silence is leverage in a BU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I feel that a lot of you are bitter and jaded about this sort of thing. If you are cold to her, why would she beg/plead/etc? If you want her back, don't be cold. You can reply to her, just do it on your terms. I would reply to a "I miss you" text with a "Hey, how's it going?" I would dismiss the context of the message, but not ignore the message. Link to post Share on other sites
SurplusIndifference Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I miss you doesn't mean I want you back. Sure it's nice to hear that from your ex, but replying to that kind of text won't solve anything. Correct. But perhaps she is testing the waters. Link to post Share on other sites
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