Trapito Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Hey LS, About a half a year ago, an ex bf added me on fb, no biggy. The guy dumped me twice while we were dating. The first time I was 19, I called him to hang out and he told me he would rather not. I asked for an explanation, his neighbor was in his house and he put her on the phone. She said I should just accept it, and to stop whining (ouch). About a year later we reconnected, I just got out of a relationship and I rebounded on my ex (bad, I know). He came with friends to the bar where I was working, and started flirting and dancing intimate with a sister of a friend of mine. I learned from the first time, I didn't even bat an eyelash. It stung a little, but I was rebounding and had no feelings for him. It was more an ego thing, I was over him in 2 days. Fast forward: Had no contact for years, he found me on fb. I only have exes on fb when I am completely over them. We talked through chat every now and then. The guy has been through a lot (jail, hearing voices, likes to wear women's clothes, drugs). I felt sorry for him and tried to cheer him up when he wanted advise, or just needed to vent. Yesterday I got the message: Trapito, I want to meet you and see you. I am looking for a gf and I think you might be the one. I was stunned and politely declined, stating he was a good guy but that we tried two times in the past, and we obviously are not a good fit. I wished him well. He couldn't even remember we were dating seriously and was kind of mad at himself. (He 'forgot' how he dumped me two times, very convenient) It felt weird and I felt sorry for rejecting him, but come on. How can you sent this to someone through fb chat? The guy obviously has issues and I kind of feel sorry for him, but this is creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Yikes! Something is very, very wrong there. I'm glad you declined. Maybe time to go NC again? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trapito Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 I already jumped on the NC train again. I never sought contact with him, he always contacted me. Half of the time I wouldn't even reply (telling me he heard moaning female's in his head, what should he do about it). For now I don't think there is a need to block him, he doesn't know where I live. I will block him if he starts being pushy or inappropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Did you really feel weird and sorry for rejecting him? You should have given the finger or the social media equivalent... (it should be a button for that...) I also would block him, just because... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest572 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 He forgot you had dated?? Then how did he remember you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Trapito, it would really weird/creep me out to get that message! Glad you're doing NC again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Has he ever sought medical help for these "voices"? Hearing voices, jail, cross dressing- all red flags. ROTFL- NC for YEARS and contacts you, how convenient! What took him so long?! Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 He might have came back when you had grand kids Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trapito Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 He remembered we were dating, he told me he has very fond memories of me. He just (conveniently) doesn't remember that we dated seriously (exclusively). When we were dating, he wasn't as ****ed up as he is now. He had a very bad abusive childhood, his stepfather used to beat up his mum, and my ex would come in between them. He is now in therapy, meditates, doesn't use drugs anymore. When we were dating, I was very young and naive. The guy was gorgeous, and I had an image of him in my head which didn't live up to reality. I had low self esteem (why go back to the ex who let his neighbor break up with me). I hadn't thought about him in many years. When he contacted me again I just felt so sorry for him. He hit rock bottom, has no friends, no job and is struggling to get back on his feet. We just talked through chat every now and then, about yoga, meditating, healthy food and stuff like that. He told me he was very happy I was his (fb) friend. The weirdness and creepiness started a few days ago. I don't think he wil contact me again, maybe as friends in the future. I can be his (fb) friend, nothing more. I hope he gets well and gets back on his feet. I think he just wants to be with somebody, anybody, to feel less alone. That somebody just isn't me, and it never will be me. He accepted the rejection, and wished me well also. He stated: both you and I will find the right one in the future. So no need to block him right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 No, no... you don't get it, his problems are none of your business... and while you are his fb friend he will find a way to date you again and then, he will dump you again... Time to break the cycle now... I wish I was you to block him right away, he he... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trapito Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 No, no... you don't get it, his problems are none of your business... and while you are his fb friend he will find a way to date you again and then, he will dump you again... Time to break the cycle now... I wish I was you to block him right away, he he... Thanks for your reply. He he, don't worry. I will NEVER date him again. I have evolved since that time, I have grown and learned from the experience (don't EVER date a guy again who river dances over your heart. I only feel pity. I am just weirded out by the fact that this guy dared to tell me he thought I might be the one, when whe clearly are a match made in hell. I know his problems are not mine, I dont think I can or need to fix him. No one but he can solve his problems and face his demons. We all need support though, that is the only thing I can offer. Nothing more. He hasn't contacted me again, I think he understands we will never be together. If he asks again or sends other weird things, I will block him. Don't worry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
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