Exes who leave you with debt

[ktya]

I'm sure some other people have had it worse than me.

 

I broke up with my ex in November and because she lived here with her daughter the arrangment we came up with was that I would handle the rent and major purchases and she would pay the bills because that would work out to roughly the same amount as what I could rent the room that her daughter went into. (I have rented rooms in my house for years, and before she moved in my rent was negative $230 per month.

 

The arrangment seemed to work OK except she kept screwing up and not paying them and periodically I would have to bail her out to keep the utilities rolling. She was on disability and did not have the flexibility to pay extra so when they got behind she was unable to catch up.

 

I got a signing bonus one year and told her I would pay whatever was overdue on the bills to get her caught up and asked her to just pay them as they came due. She owed $1500 and I was like oh my god please never, ever let things get this bad again.

 

To add insult to injury she had no concept of conservation. She would gripe and complain to me that she was paying more than anyone else in the house (me and renters) because the bills were $650 a month. Well that made no sense because they were always typically around $300 when I was paying them. I did a mental tally and she had a 50 inch plasma TV on practically 24/7 her computer at 800 watts was on 24/7 even when she hadnt used it for days, no concept of turning lights off and despite never leaving the house she would rip through 4 pairs of pants 5 pairs of socks and multiple shirts per day so the laundry was practically running 24/7. I suggested strongly that she being home 24/7 had all the power to reduce the bills and that I had no need for all those TV channels so she should just reduce the bills.

 

Well some months before she left she was again griping about the high bills. After she left it took me a few months to get the bills in my name. YOWZA! $900 on the cable bill, $600 on the electric bill and $900 on the gas bill. Roar! So while she was griping about how much she was paying on these bills she hadn't paid anything since August and was dragging her feet on getting things into my name probably because her stuff was still here and didnt want me to know she had paid practically nothing. Nice.

 

Of course it was winter so the gas and electric bills were already high. When I finally got the cable account she had ordered a package at over $300 a month!

 

I am almost out of the woods finally now since figuring all this out in January after she left but it most certainly hasnt been a fun year so far. Whats worse, she militantly fought me re-renting the spare rooms in the months leading to her leaving.

 

She was a hoarder and was occupying 75% of my house and 100% of my garage with her stuff. I still have a literal 2 tons of her junk left behind in the garage and that costs money to get rid of too.

 

Yarg. What an annoying situation. And I was really nice about the breakup too because I thought it was for the best.

[deathandtaxes]

Did you take your eye off the ball or what? How could you let it get so bad? Your first mistake was bailing her out the first time.

[d0nnivain]

At least she's gone now.

[amaysngrace]

The sex must've been really good :/

[ktya]

At least she's gone now.

 

You got that one right.

 

And no the sex wasnt that good. When your girlfriend wants to have significant notice because its been a month since she shaved her legs and spends almost every night sleeping on the couch (hence the TV usage) it was practically on a needs only basis. She would have done anything and everything but its hard to desire someone who wakes up at 230pm with legs a month unshaven in pyjamas on the couch.

 

Ugh

[Tayla]

hind sight is 20/20 so may I ask what you learned from this experience as far as money management with other adults?

 

I had a room mate that originally behaved this way with finances, he just didnt care about bills....So we had a community board placed in one of the hallways.

Can't argue with what was paid or unpaid. Sorta puts things in perspective.

 

Unsure how you are accountable for bills in her name? Or if they were in your name then ultimately it was your responsiblity to keep tabs and keep yourself credit worthy. Sorry that you had to endure this behavior and poor finance person.

[ktya]

She was gunning for a joint bank account and marriage. I bit on neither. Dodged a bullet that's for sure.

[rester]

hind sight is 20/20 so may I ask what you learned from this experience as far as money management with other adults?

 

I had a room mate that originally behaved this way with finances, he just didnt care about bills....So we had a community board placed in one of the hallways.

Can't argue with what was paid or unpaid. Sorta puts things in perspective.

 

Unsure how you are accountable for bills in her name? Or if they were in your name then ultimately it was your responsiblity to keep tabs and keep yourself credit worthy. Sorry that you had to endure this behavior and poor finance person.

 

This is what I'm wondering. How is it your debt now when the bills were in her name? They should have been wiped clean for you when you put them in your name. Was there some kind of joint agreement?

 

Sounds like you are much better off without her.

[Elle1975]

This is what I'm wondering. How is it your debt now when the bills were in her name? They should have been wiped clean for you when you put them in your name. Was there some kind of joint agreement?

 

Sounds like you are much better off without her.

 

Yeah I don't get that either.

 

I had a rommate who pulled the same crap on us. We were giving her money and she didn't pay the bills. The day after she left the electric went poof.. that was my last try at leaving with rommates.