mightycpa Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 No, I didn't keep count, I had to use Excel. I stopped counting a long time ago. I remember the date because I loved her with all my heart. I remember every moment of it, and I remember the pain. I was pretty young then. Mainly, this thread is to help you all who are struggling with NC after a few days or a few weeks or even a few months. I did it to heal. It can be done. It isn't easy and it takes time, but it can be done. You'll stop thinking about it, you'll have fun, you'll get over it. If you're lucky, you'll date some really great people, fall in and out of love a couple of times and you might even break a heart or two yourself along the way. Eventually, if you don't get too cynical or if you don't try to protect yourself too much, you'll probably find someone you can spend your life with. He/she's out there somewhere right now. It seems hopeless some days, but it isn't. Don't lose heart. 15 Link to post Share on other sites
Ralph79 Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 YES!, only 13,613 days to go. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Um, you mean you're like in NC for almost 40 years?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mightycpa Posted February 15, 2015 Author Share Posted February 15, 2015 Um, you mean you're like in NC for almost 40 years?? Well, I guess at some point it stops being NC, right? Not sure when that was, so I'm taking undue credit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Well, I guess at some point it stops being NC, right? Not sure when that was, so I'm taking undue credit. Oh, sorry for not getting your analogy. Yeah, you stop counting after some time. It is also both mandatory and a signal you're on the right path. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Did you mean seconds? Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 It's been 56 days and counting. Everyday is a little easier than the last. Thanks for your kind words of appreciation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mightycpa Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 Did you mean seconds?Nope. Although, to your point, I'm not sure which is more pathetic, days or seconds. Since I did stop counting somewhere along the line, I'm going to say seconds. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 It's been 56 days and counting. Everyday is a little easier than the last. Thanks for your kind words of appreciation. On the same exact number if NC days. Sad that we're counting? Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I'm not counting, but thanks for the post. It made me think about the fact that when I was dating in 2008, I had to break three women's hearts, though at least that many broke mine, almost including my current wife. Mainly there was one woman I was dating (and had sex with) who I liked very much and she liked me very much, but I ended up choosing my wife over her. Obviously now, I wonder. I know to be more careful in the future, but I don't think this could have been avoided. Even though I had not met my wife then, I was talking to her and liked her a lot, and the sex with the other woman was by her asking, not mine. That said, of course it was wonderful! Also, I feel that if I had chosen her, we would still be together and my life would be completely different! Good or bad, who can know? Life has it's flows. We just hold on! There is no going back and asking later, and really that's for the best! Just take it in the ass and move on. That's all I can offer at this pivotal time in my life. Ken 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 After day 60, I stopped counting because in that moment, I just knew that I would never, ever, ever, ever (shout out to Taylor Swift LOL), initiate or participate in any type of contact with the ex. It was such a liberating feeling to know that no matter what, come hell or high water, come dark or blue, I would never break NC. I am by no means some type of superwoman, e.g. on Valentines Day, I had the thought to stalk his social media because I was feeling a little down, then I laughed at myself and went about my merry way. Before, those thoughts would have consumed me and the entire day, but now it comes in fleeting moments that I am able to quell the storm by giving myself a firm talking to and reminding myself of how far I have come. I am so proud of myself. Initiating and maintaining NC has gone a really long way to making me like myself more and more each day. A Luta Continua Loveshackers, there is light at the end of this tunnel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 If you're still counting the days she still has the power over you. She's on your mind. When you become indifferent is when victory is yours...so keep going!! Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 On the same exact number if NC days. Sad that we're counting? I actually didn't know how many days it was until i seen this post. I wanted to share how many days it.was, so i just went through my calendar on my phone, which also shows the days someone called/texted on the slots so i counted the last day she texted me. I had no idea it was 56 days, well now i do... Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I actually didn't know how many days it was until i seen this post. I wanted to share how many days it.was, so i just went through my calendar on my phone, which also shows the days someone called/texted on the slots so i counted the last day she texted me. I had no idea it was 56 days, well now i do... Counting the days makes me feel stronger. It's a true testament to the healing and moving on I've committed to. I feel like I've been sober for 56 days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 After day 60, I stopped counting because in that moment, I just knew that I would never, ever, ever, ever (shout out to Taylor Swift LOL), initiate or participate in any type of contact with the ex. It was such a liberating feeling to know that no matter what, come hell or high water, come dark or blue, I would never break NC. I am by no means some type of superwoman, e.g. on Valentines Day, I had the thought to stalk his social media because I was feeling a little down, then I laughed at myself and went about my merry way. Before, those thoughts would have consumed me and the entire day, but now it comes in fleeting moments that I am able to quell the storm by giving myself a firm talking to and reminding myself of how far I have come. I am so proud of myself. Initiating and maintaining NC has gone a really long way to making me like myself more and more each day. A Luta Continua Loveshackers, there is light at the end of this tunnel. This post resonated with me in so many ways, thanks for your share and words of encouragement. This is the reason i love this site so much. I wanted to comment because i found myself doing the same exact thing you did. This happened about a month ago. Im 21 and still living with my my mom and found myself kinda getting into an argument with her over something silly. she had said something i didnt like and i didn't respond well to say the least. I had been, if I'm being honest here, a little irritated that entire day and basically came home and exploded. I then retired to my room and found myself...just crying. And in that moment, everything just sucked, my life, my mom, and her. I started thinking about her and the breakup in an attempt to prolong my sense of entitlement to wallow and feel sorry for myself. The thing is? I haven't felt this way in a while. The sense of defeat and utter suffering. And i had realised i wasnt feeling it at that moment either. I was just trying to. I was trying to force myself to feel all that. I was trying to sabotage my own well being. That moment i realized that i started laughing, just laughing. My pity party was over. I knew that all that "the world is out to get me" and "ill never love again" was just utter b.s. these last couple of months has been the most important months of my life. Spiritually speaking. I have accomplished more than i thought i ever could. Got accepted to a great college and moving toward my highest potential. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 This post resonated with me in so many ways, thanks for your share and words of encouragement. This is the reason i love this site so much. I wanted to comment because i found myself doing the same exact thing you did. This happened about a month ago. Im 21 and still living with my my mom and found myself kinda getting into an argument with her over something silly. she had said something i didnt like and i didn't respond well to say the least. I had been, if I'm being honest here, a little irritated that entire day and basically came home and exploded. I then retired to my room and found myself...just crying. And in that moment, everything just sucked, my life, my mom, and her. I started thinking about her and the breakup in an attempt to prolong my sense of entitlement to wallow and feel sorry for myself. The thing is? I haven't felt this way in a while. The sense of defeat and utter suffering. And i had realised i wasnt feeling it at that moment either. I was just trying to. I was trying to force myself to feel all that. I was trying to sabotage my own well being. That moment i realized that i started laughing, just laughing. My pity party was over. I knew that all that "the world is out to get me" and "ill never love again" was just utter b.s. these last couple of months has been the most important months of my life. Spiritually speaking. I have accomplished more than i thought i ever could. Got accepted to a great college and moving toward my highest potential.[/QUOTE] This is the silver lining in having your heart broken. You figure out who the hell you are and what your are capable of. Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Counting the days makes me feel stronger. It's a true testament to the healing and moving on I've committed to. I feel like I've been sober for 56 days. Thats exactly what it is though, isnt it? Accepting the things we cannot change (the breakup) and having the courage to change the things we can. (Ourselves) 56 days, clean & sober from all the things that isnt you. 56 days living your true self and livng for you. You should be proud. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mightycpa Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 these last couple of months has been the most important months of my life. Spiritually speaking. I have accomplished more than i thought i ever could. Got accepted to a great college and moving toward my highest potential. Almost makes you feel sorry for those who have not had their hearts broken, doesn't it? You learn and gain so much from having walked through that fire. You learn how strong you can actually be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Thats exactly what it is though, isnt it? Accepting the things we cannot change (the breakup) and having the courage to change the things we can. (Ourselves) 56 days, clean & sober from all the things that isnt you. 56 days living your true self and livng for you. You should be proud. Exactly. Accepting that I will be okay without him. I am strong enough to do anything that I dream of. As much as I miss being able to share it with him, I can still be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 This post resonated with me in so many ways, thanks for your share and words of encouragement. This is the reason i love this site so much. I wanted to comment because i found myself doing the same exact thing you did. This happened about a month ago. Im 21 and still living with my my mom and found myself kinda getting into an argument with her over something silly. she had said something i didnt like and i didn't respond well to say the least. I had been, if I'm being honest here, a little irritated that entire day and basically came home and exploded. I then retired to my room and found myself...just crying. And in that moment, everything just sucked, my life, my mom, and her. I started thinking about her and the breakup in an attempt to prolong my sense of entitlement to wallow and feel sorry for myself. The thing is? I haven't felt this way in a while. The sense of defeat and utter suffering. And i had realised i wasnt feeling it at that moment either. I was just trying to. I was trying to force myself to feel all that. I was trying to sabotage my own well being. That moment i realized that i started laughing, just laughing. My pity party was over. I knew that all that "the world is out to get me" and "ill never love again" was just utter b.s. these last couple of months has been the most important months of my life. Spiritually speaking. I have accomplished more than i thought i ever could. Got accepted to a great college and moving toward my highest potential.[/QUOTE] This is the silver lining in having your heart broken. You figure out who the hell you are and what your are capable of. i agree 100% Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Almost makes you feel sorry for those who have not had their hearts broken, doesn't it? You learn and gain so much from having walked through that fire. You learn how strong you can actually be. lol, i agree. Everyone should get their heart broken at least once! Lol. But seriously, you learn so much.. Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Almost makes you feel sorry for those who have not had their hearts broken, doesn't it? You learn and gain so much from having walked through that fire. You learn how strong you can actually be. It's literally like everyday is life or death with a heartbreak. Were either choosing not to accept what is and suffer or we're choosing to push ourselves enough to come out of it on the other side. That's where the hard part comes in, the pushing. But just imagine when you get to the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
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