Did I do my best for raising the chanse of him coming back (during our breakup call)?

[aSadGirl]

Thanks for clicking on my thread! Before you read, please either read everything OR just jump down to our last dialogue and please give me your analysis, thank you! <3

 

So... I met a guy (he is 30 and i´m 29 years old) in a queue 4 months ago to a club... we flirted and he asked for my number, texted and suggested me coming to him for drinks and fall in love (sounded like a player) i told him he owe me dates first since im not that type of girl... im the final destination baby! I asked him to call me since it would be easier to talk than text (+ i know im the best in phones cause im a sales woman so i know how to talk etc).

 

We ended up talking 4 hours straight that night and it was clear he searched for Friends With Benefits while i wanted a real boyfriend. I said maybe we should end things then but somehow we decided we like each other so it would be good to go on a date! To butterfly house + cinema... i got nervous and didnt feel well so i cancelled.. then we didnt find any opportunity to meet before weeks later... by the time we had our first date we had already spoke 30 hours on phone!!! He lives on a distance so its not so easy to arrange a meeting.

 

He was like a prince charming on the date.. kissing my hand, and when we ate dinner and then drank coffee we flirted like hell (i payed for myself so he wasnt a gentleman which i didnt like but i tried not to think about it)... the chemisty was incredible so he kissed me a couple of times by the end. His friends went by us and he told him proudly we were on a date to them. Next day he texted me and was positive...

 

Then the problems with his health started, first a sore throat, then Sinusitis which he got anitbiotics for... but that took weeks for him to get well from, then he got bad allergy, heavy cold, fever, tooth-ache, back-ache etc.. during this time we talked about wanting to meet up but i constantly waited for him to get a bit better... since i figured it wouldnt be a real date if we couldnt kiss.. i regret those thoughts now i didnt even told him but yeah.. how could i know back then any better.

 

During this time he called me often, even on mornings to hear my voice and said he missed me several times..said he would be "my first" in many areas and i felt in love! He called me all sorts of fine things and often said he wants to kiss me etc... we often laughed all the time too.

 

He called me "cutie" and was sweet and attentive but suddenly that started to drop. It was after when we reached out peak one day when he had called me / talked on phone 3 times that day (total 3 hours or something) and texted etc... he got jealous by the end of the last talk that day cause he first thought i might be a bad girl talking to other guys but i declined that. he still thought i almost played with him for not being superclear at first about it and from that point on despite him complementing how he loves my voice right then etc the calles declined drastically.

 

He called only once a week (spoke about 2 hours each time) after that, but we texted almost every day. I wanted to text a bit more romantic/complementing/cute/long texts but he reliped short and sloppy most of the time so i decreased amount of texts and started mirroring him (while in my heart i started to feel scared that he didnt feel so much for me as i did for him and also that his "breadcrumbs-to-texts" wearen´t enough of reassurance for me to feel well when we hadn´t met in a long time etc..

 

The problems with communication started to arise when i in a SMS asked "What can i do for you sickling?" (its a cute petname for sick-person) but he didnt respond a whole weekend.. I broke down crying cause i thought he dismissed me but suddenly on monday he replied "Yeah you can take care of me :)" to which i replied probably passive-agressivly i dont know: "i wrote that on frieday " then i called him and told him to not taking me for granted. He said im over-dramatic and he just missed replying and had been partying and met friends and been sick that weekend.. it sounded like he forgot me the entire time and i felt hurt..

 

The next morning he called me to say goodmorning and i told him ive been sad about that he forgot to answer and he said "you should´t be so sensitive but that must mean you like me" and i said "yes i do and i know if we continue seeing each other i will like you more but i dont know if this is a game for you or for real" and he said "you are in love with me" in a jokingly-manner i laughed but said no and we swiched subject.. he had told me he likes me too.

 

Weeks went by and we continued our contact and getting to know each other.. but then when i asked "are you busy next week?" he replied "i might have a gap are you keen on meeting?" i wasnt satisfied with that response so i said "a small gap after a month of not seeing each other well, any suggestion?" NO REPLY for a week. But during same time he texted me on facebook about his sickness (he was still sick) and i almost became his nurse.. and started to almost feel used and disregared, to a point where he asked me how im doing and i said im "downhearted" he asked why and i said "cause we aint painting easter-eggs together no but please call back?" cause i had called him earlier same day and he didnt replied (i even cried several times that week cause i didnt feel we were as close anymore and didnt know what to do - now afterwards i regret i didnt just bringed soup with me when he was sick.. that wouldve given me plus-points wouldnt it?).

 

Anyway he called and i said i wasnt happy and was about to move on... he said im maybe taking it too harsh but suggested watch move at his place. I declined cause i thought it was resambling netflix-and-chill too much (sex which i from the beginning told him im not having if he isnt my boyfriend...) i asked why we couldnt go to cinema and he said he dont have energy for that that day.. and also only 50€ money to live on 2 weeks cause he had some extra expenses this month.. he told me in detail about so he wanted a cheap date i guess.. yet i told him let me know if he changes his mind.

 

Next day he asked me out to a MUSEUM! I was a bit chocked but i didnt reply at first... then next day he chased and asked "Today? :)" so i said "ok let go "

So FINALLY 5 weeks from the previous date we met and had by that time spoken over 50 hours in phone total about everything... i even invited him to a wedding 4 months from now if everything will went good between us and he seemed not resist it, just said "ok lets see how we feel about each other then, where we got each other".

 

Then we went on the date... it was a free fee-entrance history museum he had picked with a lot of medieval antiques. At first we held each others hands but he said he want quality not quantity of it so we stopped.. then he touched my hair, neck and smacked my behind with his hand twice when no one saw. The atmosphere between us was flirty and he smiled a lot on a picture some person took of us with my phone. I gave him chocolate when his energy ran low and when his friend called he told him he is with " a beautiful little lady" (me) on date.. but when he said he was so satisfied over his choice of museum i said something like "it would be fun to do some more activity" and he said "how bothersome you are! if you going to complain like that then we can go out from here immidiately". I was chocked for his harsh tone and said "no i do appriciate this museum!" and he said "okey" and seemed happy again.. when the museum closed (we were there 2 hours) he suggested us going to eat. we didnt know to what place though and outside the museum he said he wants to go home and cook tortellini and sleep. I offered to help cooking (to extend the date, see how he lives and perhaps make out there...) but he said "another day". The last seconds he said "can i get a hug?" and then went off the train and we hadnt even kissed during the whole damn date!

I was chocked to say the least but tried to keep it cool... for a week untill i I called. He wrote "Hey! Saw you called, was it something special?" very cold.. i said "yeah it was call back?" and he did..

 

We started talking and boy did it go down the drain!

This is our breakup-conversation (after we spoke for a bit about fun things laughing a lot):

 

I: I wonder what happened at the end of the museum, you wanted to eat then a few minutes later you just wanted to go home ..

He: I got tired

I: Okay, I want to apologize calling your nose a witch-nose .. I did not mean it.. it was a joke

He: haha do you think I care about that hahaha, you do not have to worry about it!

I: okay but at the end we ​​gave only a hug and then parted

He: so is life ...

I: Why did we not kiss each other?

He: it does not feel like we have so much in common, not as we click so well .. generally, I do not know if we are the right couple for each other so to speak...

I: give some examples?

He: oh i do not know .. I don´t feel we're so alike, do not click-..

I: why did we click so well the first months then?

He: thats just how it is.

I: So you want someone like you, a twin?

He: I do not know, I just did not feel... more..

I: it´s good that you are honest ..

He: yes there´s not much else you can be here in this world, didnt you felt the same?

I: what was it, because i do not like sushi and medieval things so much?

He: not its nothing superficial .. I just do not think we click, we are too different maybe ..

I: why did it seem to go so good for us at the beginning?

He: Yes but God, we have just talked for a few hours, its getting to know people ..

I: ok as you please

He: as I please hehe

I: but why cant you say any examples of what so diffrent about us?

He: even if I had them I would not say them, it does not mean they are bad, you are not a bad person, bad girl or something like that, it just is like this sometimes.

You're a very nice girl, I'm digging you and such, I just do not feel anything more than that, so to say.. do you get sad now?

I a bit.. ;( ( I satarted crying a bit)

He: oh no you can not be sad, we hardly know each other. We have just been on a couple of dates ..

I: and talked on the phone 70 hours total..

He: yes it was fun to talk... do you like medieval?

Me: haha ​​were that the deal breaker?

He: haha ​​no, but there is no special deal breaker. So how have your weekend been?

I: it was good. But this feels wierd, I do not know what to say anymore ... but on Friday I'm going to same party we met on first..

He: OOOOH PARTYY what are you doing on sunday then?

I: That holiday? dont know yet.

He: I will go to a festival

I: aah ok but that's it. but I'm just wondering what's your kind of girl then? How was your ex then?

He: aah weird question, everyone is different, there is no type ..

Me: was she like you?

He: not really, you have to be a little different to o fit together. you should not be hung up on this, have you never been dissmissed before? Haha

Me: wow, huh, you are so cold

He: everyone gets dissmissed, its nothing strange .. I have been it many times ..done it many times too but have dissmissed more HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA (fool laugh)

I: alright .. like I said before i had hoped for more but now there is nothing left ..

He: what did you say? (he didnt seem to hear)

I: no nothing. perhaps strange to say "let me know you change your mind"

He: Well you never know but I do not think so, you'll find something new at next party.

I: god how cold you are, damn...

He: haha ​​what i´m just trying to be nice!

 

 

Then I hung up the phone due to anger/feeling sick to my stomach and sad so I started crying but He called me up immediately.

I answered when he called and he said: hello, did the connection break or you hung up?

I: yes I hung up, I'm sorry, what do you want? ( I Sobbed)

He: okay... why do you feel sad? Or so sad?

I: because!

He: ok I did not mean to make you sad but its not my faultl, you do not have to hung uo the phone, i have not been unpleasant or anything ..

I: ok sure, I respect that you do not want the same

He: hahaha I hope so, otherwise its strange

I: ofcourse, i´m just a little sad

He: I understand, but you do not have to be sad, there's nothing to be sad about

I: Is there anything I could have said or done better?

He: näo I do not think so... oh my God, you're thinking too much .. I´m not that special! (which is ironic he said cause he often is grandiose and says he is THE BEST all the time). You will be better off with someone else too, you will find someone gosh, you will meet someone new in a couple of days, you do not have to be worried.

Me: but to me it´s not only been the time we talked but I also thought a lot about you in between but i guess you didnt felt the same

He: no, I do not think so. I think you're very sweet, fun to talk to you and so, but we just don´tclick. I just dont feel anything more.

I: mmmh okay

He: you do not have to hook yourself up on this, oh my dear, you really do not know me even!

I: well, but it went so well our first meetings, we had fun when we talked and such

He: aah yes ... we may feel a bit different then

I: what, you did not think they were good dates?

He: yes it was good but i do not know ...

Me: okay anyway! Good luck with your life!

He: it's going to go well, you too! You do not have to be angry at me, we can talk anyway, I do not hate you or anything .. you do not have to be so sad

I: but I do not understand the details!

He: There are none, if I think somethint then someone else will like something else, just be yourself, just do not think of that, because then you just get caught up in it

I: mm good luck like .. ah ..

He: you are a very beautiful nice girl, there are many guys, they are waiting for you on a row, you can just go out, pick choose anyone! You can not go in so wholeheartedly from the beginning.. or it´s good to do but do not have so high expectations when you meet someone!

I: but if they had not been for all the hours we had talked, I would not have been like this, it feels like we have met more cause of all those 70 hours we spoke on phone...

He: yes i understand but aah it is like it is. You will feel better in a few minutes ..

I: haha ​​minutes

He: you're too sensitive, started crying when you read out loud to yourself in the museum, and wanted a hug ' haha so funny! haha (he referred to a joke in the museum)

I: no I did not cry! You are making it up!

He: you really had like teardrops and puppyeyes like you said with them 'how could you?'

I: I was not sad, i was a bit moody

He: yes, it was so CUTE!

I: ok anyway, we are done!

He: yes, but what the hell if you want to you can still reach out, it's not the end of the world, if you want to i mean, you do not have to if you do not want.

I: as long as I feel like this, then i won´t, maybe later we can be friends. And I just want to hear from you if you change your mind, otherwise I do not want to.

He: ok, then I wish you all the best of luck in the world, have fun on the party and whatever you will do

I: ok bye

He: bye

 

Did i do the right thing to have the best chance of him changing his mind and wanting to give us another shot? If not, what more can i do or say to him now?

By the way we do not have each other on facebook / social media...

 

I dont know why he put me in this friendzone when he just 2 weeks before said in phone he would masturbate and think about me (it wasnt always that sexual but he seemed turned on by me AND like my personality etc)... at least i´m glad he didnt dump-texted me cowardly that he don´t want to see me anymore.. a phone-call is better than my last boyfriends i ve even slept with broke up with me (either by ghosting or by a simple SMS). But i still feel like we just had an unfortunate last date and there is much more possibilities to it than this end for us! I don´t feel like we gave it all a good shot. And im ruminating and grieving all those hours we spent on phone, wishing i would have had them while being held in his arms.. looking into his eyes more... but the distance and his long-spun sickness got the best of us...

 

I am just hoping that by agreeing to the breakup, not being desperate but rather implement NO CONTACT RULE immidiatly i might get him back in a romantic way in hopefully 1 month or so...??? Or am i being delusional and he will never contact me again after this you think?

 

The first 2 days after this last call-dialogue i cried almost every hour and didnt eat anything... but i spoke to friends who cheered me up, then i started living more like before with excersising etc.. but i still feel low and heartbroken. Can somebody please give constructive ideas on how to get him back please?

Edited April 28, 2017 by aSadGirl

[Zahara]

Each and every thread that you create about men you meet ends with -- please tell me how to get him back.

 

When a man leaves you, let them. Move on. Stop trying to find ways to resurrect what's dead. The desperation is disturbing as you behave this way which each guy that crosses your path.

 

Seems like you never gain any self-awareness from your past experiences except to stay in a constant loop.

[aSadGirl]

He had a relationship for 3 years untill a half year back so in the beginning he said he was just looking for something casual.. like hookups.. but i didnt want that, was afraid of becoming a rebound, yet we continued our contact and the rest is history as you see above, please read and tell me what to do. I´m so devastated ;(

 

Another thing is he told me he smokes mariuana sometimes, but im wondering if he took some more drugs or something because sometimes in our phonecalls, particularly some of the last ones, he did strange noises and said a bit strange things, he always was a little weird but yeah.. it sounded almost like "ticks" like tourettes syndrome or something sometimes.. like he could tell me something and in the middle of the sentence scream "mother****er yeah!" i asked who he said that to and he said "to a bird flying outside.. that did i rescue good haha" hmm.. i dont know but when he repeatedly in our last talk said i dont even know him it almost felt like there is things he havent even told me about him that might be crucial but this is just speculations... so nevermind.

 

Please let me know your thoughts great people out there! Thank you

 

 

Each and every thread that you create about men you meet ends with -- please tell me how to get him back.

 

When a man leaves you, let them. Move on. Stop trying to find ways to resurrect what's dead. The desperation is disturbing as you behave this way which each guy that crosses your path.

 

Seems like you never gain any self-awareness from your past experiences except to stay in a constant loop.

 

 

Hmm well yes.. but this is a new guy so its not the same man!!! I cant help that this happened again or maybe i can but its a new situation nevertheless for me! we all get several breakups in our lives - dont we?

 

How am i desperate ? I accepted his wishes instantly!

 

what do you mena by self-awareness.. im doing my best here but please say details!

Edited April 28, 2017 by aSadGirl

[Blanco]

Even if it's a new guy, it's the same formula and Zahara's advice still applies: If someone wants to leave, you can't do anything to force them to stay or come back. That isn't how anything in the realm of love works.

[Blanco]

By the way, you didn't accept his wishes instantly. He told you he felt like you two didn't click, and you continued to press on him.

 

I can relate to the guy. Sometimes you just to vibe with a person, and it's not because they're bad or have totally different interests than you. Part of dating is getting to know someone and it sounds like that's what happened. This guy then stepped back, assessed the situation, and concluded that the two of you did not click, and so pursuing anything further would be a waste of everyone's time.

 

It's really as simple as that.

[aSadGirl]

By the way, you didn't accept his wishes instantly. He told you he felt like you two didn't click, and you continued to press on him.

 

I can relate to the guy. Sometimes you just to vibe with a person, and it's not because they're bad or have totally different interests than you. Part of dating is getting to know someone and it sounds like that's what happened. This guy then stepped back, assessed the situation, and concluded that the two of you did not click, and so pursuing anything further would be a waste of everyone's time.

 

It's really as simple as that.

 

It was because this wasnt after only like 1 date 1 hour talk but several dates and 70 hours of talk + many texts, pictures etc! so we got to know each other well.. and he have told me he got butterflies in stomach/felt a bit in love when i sang for him for example in the phone and he said many times back then that he likes me and we really click, so ofcourse i wanted to know what made it stop! Because for the first months we DID vibe well!

 

Plus, usually guys i date that breaks up cant even handle a phone call, so this is like first time i could actually ASK what happened, but i was dissapointed he left me with generic responses.. clichés like "just be yourself" - it have never worked and im 29 years old.. of perhaps 10 guys in my lifetime ive dated for several months-to some year ... none of them wants me as a girlfriend, only one that i didnt love back. It makes me anxious and afraid i will continue this cycle untill im too old and die </3 thats my biggest fear!

Edited April 28, 2017 by aSadGirl

[basil67]

This isn't the kind of situation where a guy might change his mind. If I read correctly, you only went on two dates - he didn't feel it so he ended it. He wasn't torn or confused about his decision. He wasn't in love. Therefore, he will move on easily.

 

That said, if he had been in love or confused and with a chance of him changing his mind, the way you handled the breakup (giving him a very over the top third degree) would have killed your chances. A simple "I'm disappointed to hear that. If you ever change you mind, give me a call. Good luck. Goodbye" would have been more likely to work.

Edited April 28, 2017 by basil67

[aSadGirl]

Text.

 

no trice.

What do you mean by over the top third degree???

I couldnt just leave him with those words you said. Ofcourse i wanted to dig deeper to get to know what caused his decline of feelings... like what i said or did to make him lose interest. But ofcourse.. ive learned now that people almost never say the truth about it anyway so its probably stupid to ask "why", right?

 

I tried to end the call as fast as i could cause i was crying... i tried to make him not hear it but he did. I thought perhaps my tears even would make him reaslise what a wonderful deep-feeling woman i am and sort of awaken his feelings again.. to just say cold words like those you said felt like they would be too little. I did feel wery sad upon our last minutes cause i realised it has came to an end. Sure, it could´ve been dragged out longer, but he would place me more and more in a friendzone where we speak less and less probably while he is dating other girls i fear... which he will now inavitably but i hope he will remember our good moments and times and miss me.. Especially our phone calls.. i cant imagine he will have as good talks with some other one... i feel unique and special in what i offer and i tried to show him that but it feels like he didnt appriciate it. Perhaps now when im leaving him alone he will realise what he´s missing and thats me and us - a good thing?

 

But ok. Let´s say its like you said.. that i didnt handle it properly - what can i do now then? Can i say something or do something to make this better? For instance tell him im grateful for our wonderful times + add him on facebook or what?

Edited April 28, 2017 by aSadGirl

[Blanco]

"over-the-top third degree" just means you kept pestering him about why he wasn't interested in continuing. In the dialogue you posted, it was pretty clear why he was disengaging: He did not feel you two really clicked.

[Blanco]

But ok. Let´s say its like you said.. that i didnt handle it properly - what can i do now then? Can i say something or do something to make this better? For instance tell him im grateful for our wonderful times + add him on facebook or what?

 

No.

 

You two do not have this long and storied history. You talked a lot on the phone for a couple of months and went on three dates.

 

I'm telling you for your own good that he has been brave by being upfront with you about why he is not interested in continuing with you. He doesn't sound confused or unsure of his decision, and so I don't think you should hold your breath about him changing his mind.

[Sweetfish]

I see so many problems here... lol

 

You have a lot of maturing to do.

 

You "play off" a woman who is lady-like and seem to fall prey to any man who "courts you" or at least is attractive.

 

You use sex as a "prize" and define a gentleman by paying for your meals and not being a MAN... gotta love how the new generation try to reap the rewards. Yet you don't qualify any other of his antics as gentleman or not. You met a guy at a club and he straight up said pretty much "lets drink and have sex" and you clearly told him "you will get sex, if we go on dates"

 

Right? "Final destination!"

 

You play games and enjoy a chase and cloud it around as being a lady. He told you he wants FWB!

 

Because your a good "sales person" you tried to sell the idea of being a girlfriend to a player. You felt you were good enough to get what you wanted or change him and you used your sexuality as a stick on a carrot as manipulation. Like I seen many women do.. "My little fixer upper" not gonna happen.

 

He didnt get what he wanted and you didnt get what you wanted.

 

You didnt get your way so you cried, gave mixed signals, and went back and forth and was passive.

 

Now you want him back...the person who was more straight forward was HIM.. not you!

 

You never had him.. it was never a relationship. So who can you recover something that never was?

[basil67]

no trice.

What do you mean by over the top third degree???

I couldnt just leave him with those words you said. Ofcourse i wanted to dig deeper to get to know what caused his decline of feelings... like what i said or did to make him lose interest. But ofcourse.. ive learned now that people almost never say the truth about it anyway so its probably stupid to ask "why", right?

 

Yes, people sometimes don't tell the truth about why they are leaving. The reason is that too often the dumpee hears the words and then starts up with "but I'll change!" or they argue that the dumper's reasons aren't valid. Being honest can simply lead to too much drama. If he had given you a reason, would you have accepted it without trying to persuade him to work through it with you? I doubt it.

 

That said, sometimes a dumper really doesn't have a 'reason'. I've read countless posts here where someone says 'he/she is really great and I've tried but I just don't feel it'. You can't push someone to describe something which they can't even figure out for themselves. Sounds like this was the case for your ex.

 

I thought perhaps my tears even would make him reaslise what a wonderful deep-feeling woman i am and sort of awaken his feelings again.

 

Nope, your tears would have just made him feel uncomfortable. And while I am sure they exist, I have never met a man who wanted a "deep-feeling woman". In my experience, men like women who are relatively simple and who don't go about with deep feelings.

 

I did feel wery sad upon our last minutes cause i realised it has came to an end. Sure, it could´ve been dragged out longer, but he would place me more and more in a friendzone where we speak less and less probably while he is dating other girls i fear...

 

I don't think you're in a friendzone. I think you're no longer in his life. I doubt he will be contacting you. Especially as the last interaction involved tears and too many questions. Best to unfriend him on social media if you haven't already done so.

 

Perhaps now when im leaving him alone he will realise what he´s missing and thats me and us - a good thing?

 

Sorry, it doesn't sound like he's going to miss you. There just isn't enough history. And he didn't sound unsure.

 

But ok. Let´s say its like you said.. that i didnt handle it properly - what can i do now then? Can i say something or do something to make this better? For instance tell him im grateful for our wonderful times + add him on facebook or what?

 

The different option I gave for a dumpee response wouldn't have worked with your guy because he was done. That was how to handle a guy when there is a chance he may miss you and want you back.

 

Your guy? As another poster said, you don't have enough history to write about your wonderful times. And even if you did have wonderful times to write about, it would just be awkward at his end.

 

It's sad that he ended it, but you need to accept it and let it go.

[ExpatInItaly]

Oh, girl...

 

You come across as desperate. Not good.

 

Look, he just wasn't that into you. It happens. Don't badger him by continuing to ask why he's not into you, what his ex was like - that's so awkward!

 

You have to let this go and not put so much weight into the number of hours of phone calling. You barely spent any time together in person and it's clear he wasn't interested quite early on. You can't force it. And I'm afraid he's thus not going to miss you - you two barely know each other. There wasn't an "us", OP.

Edited April 28, 2017 by ExpatInItaly

[elaine567]

We ended up talking 4 hours straight that night and it was clear he searched for Friends With Benefits while i wanted a real boyfriend.

 

^^^This was the time to end it. Right there and then. NO point in you taking anything further. He could be the most wonderful guy on the planet, but he told you he just wants a FWB, so what on earth were you thinking?

YOUR ego took over, "Of course I am just sooo awesome he will want to be MY bf." But most people looking for casual, just want casual, they do not want a gf, no matter how "awesome" you may be.

 

YOU both wanted different things from a relationship and you can't usually change guys who just want casual sex into bfs.

It is about different life stages, he wants to play around for a while, maybe forever? Who knows? ...and you want a real relationship.

That never works.

He feels smothered, trapped and leaves, and you get seriously hurt.

[d0nnivain]

Why do you want him back? He clearly doesn't want you & certainly not as much as you desperately want him.

 

 

You had all this built up in your mind over some phone calls, text & emails. The reality when you were together was bland. He was flirty because -- and you nailed this the first night -- he's a player & that is what they do.

 

 

He wanted NSA sex. You wanted a BF. When you were together he was cheat about it. You paid. He took you to a free museum. You gave him chocolate.

 

 

He was straightforward repeatedly telling you he doesn't want a relationship with you. You are in sales. You have to have some understanding that some people won't buy what you are selling so rather than wasting your time & missing the opportunity to sell to somebody who does want to buy, you move on. It's the same here.

 

 

Stop pestering the guy. the more you chase, the faster & farther he will run. Soon he will stop being polite about it & if you continue you will find yourself on the wrong end of a restraining order.

 

 

You are clearly an independent woman who knows her own mind & has boundaries. Act like it & stop throwing yourself at this guy.