messed up

[McDonald]

hey guys..

 

So f*ck me right? Theres this page called {insert school name here} confessions.

 

I decided to say my break up.. went like this

 

" You know what sucks? Trading your Isla Vista life style, losing a lot of friends, for someone who you fell in love with. You would never think to find someone in IV like that but you do.. and then a few months later after am amazing relationship, they throw it right in your face and leave for someone else. They leave you stranded... sinking to the bottom of the ocean.. "

 

Then my ex sent me a text message with a picture of that on FB. and she said "nice"

 

 

HOLY CRAP. I feel insane right now I never should have posted that and she texts me that? what DO i say? I have been in NC for 3 months. She already tried texting me before and I ignored it. I just want to say :do you know how ahrd this has been for me?"

 

Please help me please.

[cavalier99]

No response. Stay NC. Time to deactivate fb. Or at a minimum block her.

 

And stop posting there

Edited March 4, 2013 by cavalier99

[TaraMaiden]

You came in with all kinds of good advice last night.

 

Try taking it yourself, and quit shooting yourself in the foot.

[McDonald]

I understand.

 

I know if I send a reply... I can get even more hurt. I just couldn't believe she did. Sending me this

 

Well I can't believe I posted it... It is anonymous.. Funny how she knew it was me. I just feel like this is when I want to say "f off. You have no idea what you are doing".

 

Or like ask what she is trying to do if you want me gone, don't text me. It's hard to understand

[CudLRoo]

Sucks man, I occasionally do impulsive stuff like this and it makes things 300% worse.

 

I hate to say it but she's gone very cold on you, at least you had a chance to air your grievance, even if it somewhat backfired, she KNOWS now. Girls can get cruel when they're with someone new, the only consolation you can really take is that she might badly hurt the current bf in the future, however long that may take, though sometimes you gotta rise above that way of thinking cos in the end it makes one smaller.

[McDonald]

I'm not really planning on getting back together with her if there was an opportunity.. Look at what she has done... I'm more upset about what had happened after it. I do not deserve this. I never did anything wrong. That's why I want to say something like if you want me gone that's fine then do not text me

[CudLRoo]

I've got a feeling they never ever say that. They just leave you hanging.

 

I'm like you, I *know* I don't deserve what's happened, it's crushed me, I can't believe it...but some of those gals feel VERY differently about how a guy feels, we're supposed to be tough, like the stereotypes mythologised in movies. Man? Emotive? Heartbroken? Come off it, you're having a laugh!

 

The real 'winners' seem to be guys with pics of their pricks in their cellies. Might be a 'man plan' but I ain't going there.

[McDonald]

So I just keep doing what I'm going? Remain in NC? I don't even know what to say to Her. Just the urge to say something is back. I've been working very hard to get myself to lose the feeling I had for her. And it really is getting there I must say. But things like this. These little set backs, arnt doing me any good. And an urge to respond may be beause I so have some feeling left.

[TaraMaiden]

Everyone in NC has 'some feeling left' no matter how far down the road they are.

So don't feel you're unique in your desire to respond.

 

And if you DO respond - you will join the legion of others who did too - and who are kicking themselves daily, for having done so.

 

Stay in NC.

Don't leave it.

It's Cold Turkey for sure - but it's a rehab to mend your heart.

[CudLRoo]

In all honesty, you can only choose your own path - taking advice from a crazy like me (or anyone else on here) should be treated with a bit of caution.

 

But it's like this: I still love my ex, I think she's a wonderful person, and I'll always love her. But there were times when we argued too much and certain things were said that could never be unsaid, certain things were done that could never be undone. I've been two years without her but could probably go back tomorrow, but I KNOW what'll eventually happen...we'll get back, be all lovey dovey, we'll be great together but then she'll start to get irritated over something small, she'll be mad at me because I often have to work odd hours, we start to argue again, and it *always* hurts both of us. So I don't see her.

 

It's normal to retain some feeling, I think, if you've had a cool relationship for the most part. It's just you can never get in the other person's head to know what they *truly* think, and maybe she's just better at moving on?

[McDonald]

I probably have the worst luck as I was walking from class and they happened to be walking towards me. Usually, I would be able to walk with my head held hi. But today, I just made a right and went a different direction. See, I feel like I should be able to walk by them and not feel anything... But now because of this cold

Message she sent me, I have to avoid her? Im not sure if this is progress or not

[GB25]

I probably have the worst luck as I was walking from class and they happened to be walking towards me. Usually, I would be able to walk with my head held hi. But today, I just made a right and went a different direction. See, I feel like I should be able to walk by them and not feel anything... But now because of this cold

Message she sent me, I have to avoid her? Im not sure if this is progress or not

 

Why are you making her saying "nice" to you such a big ordeal?? So let me get this straight..you blogged anon about a girl who left you and broke you're heart etc...the she saw that and knew it was you and took a pic of what u wrote and texted one word to you..."nice" and you are all bent out of shape by what this means??? She is calling you out basically for blogging about her, by no means do you have to go into a whirlwind bc she wrote "nice" I mean if she texted " nice, so whats new with you?" thats a different story shes trying to talk to you...but just "nice" is pretty self explanatory no need for you to get all emotional and start " OMG MY EX JUST BROKE NC!!!"

[McDonald]

Why are you making her saying "nice" to you such a big ordeal?? So let me get this straight..you blogged anon about a girl who left you and broke you're heart etc...the she saw that and knew it was you and took a pic of what u wrote and texted one word to you..."nice" and you are all bent out of shape by what this means??? She is calling you out basically for blogging about her, by no means do you have to go into a whirlwind bc she wrote "nice" I mean if she texted " nice, so whats new with you?" thats a different story shes trying to talk to you...but just "nice" is pretty self explanatory no need for you to get all emotional and start " OMG MY EX JUST BROKE NC!!!"

 

I get where you are coming from but its the fact that I was trying to get to a point where I could become indifferent about this, maybe reconcile and not have to feel like i have to avoid her when I see her or go out of my way etc.

 

The fact that I was making good improvements, that we were able to say hi when we passed... but not thats out the window for now.

 

However, I geuss that shouldnt even matter?

[TaraMaiden]

The fact that I was making good improvements, that we were able to say hi when we passed... but not thats out the window for now.

 

However, I geuss that shouldnt even matter?

 

Jeesh, sure it shouldn't - !

 

You are way past the "12-minute mark" - !!

[CudLRoo]

I feel really sorry for this geezer, but I don't think anything I can say can help.

 

I'm seeing this pain as a tune-up for my nervous system, sorta like getting a cold once a year. I'm already giving up, and it's difficult but it seems to be the truest way. Maybe give it a blast, Mickey D?

[McDonald]

I feel really sorry for this geezer, but I don't think anything I can say can help.

 

I'm seeing this pain as a tune-up for my nervous system, sorta like getting a cold once a year. I'm already giving up, and it's difficult but it seems to be the truest way. Maybe give it a blast, Mickey D?

 

To try to just give up on it? That does seem like the easiest way I have to admit. Im not sure what Im really still holding onto though.

[CudLRoo]

^Might save you a lot more pain, mate. /

[TaraMaiden]

To try to just give up on it? That does seem like the easiest way I have to admit. Im not sure what Im really still holding onto though.

 

If you're not sure what you're really holding on to then, what the hell are you hurting yourself so much, for?

 

Quit braining yourself.

If you're not careful, you're going to fall into the same bracket as Zammo and fredrickkk......

 

And really - you honestly do NOT want to go there.

[McDonald]

If you're not sure what you're really holding on to then, what the hell are you hurting yourself so much, for?

 

Quit braining yourself.

If you're not careful, you're going to fall into the same bracket as Zammo and fredrickkk......

 

And really - you honestly do NOT want to go there.

 

I do know who you are talking about and yes that is a path I do not want to go down.

 

Throughout my time since I first posted on LS I have realized that I have made improvements...

 

I still talk about texting her that is true... but I have not actually sent her a text. its just on my mind. I feel as if i will get more hurt breaking NC.

 

Re reading my first post here- the story of the break up, I do see the pain the relationship caused me and I feel the the breakup is causing me as well.

 

She is very immature in the way she has been handling this.

 

I recognize all these facts, yet there is this one thing holding onto her... maybe its my little wang lol. Maybe I should try to find someone else. Maybe. and this is what I think it is... Im just feeling lonely and am missing the idea of a relationship that I had with her I have a good amount of friends. I have been able to do everything I wanted to do with myself post break up. Im working out everyday, going out every weekend. I am having fun. I just feel like I could be having more fun and when that idea comes into my head, she comes with it.

 

Its just hard to imagine trying to have the same amount of fun I had with her with someone else...

 

Im in no way accusing any of you for making me get defensive. This is just me reminding myself that it was an unhealthy relationship, that I am making improvements, and that I will continue to do so.

 

Will I send her a text message?

Most likely not--- 1) I dont even know what I would say and 2) she just isnt worth my time anymore.

 

okay, lets get the brain to start controlling the heart.

[Chi townD]

I'm a huge advocate for NC, but if what you posted is truely anonymous, I would have responded, "What the hell is that?"

 

Obviously, she would respond, "It's what you wrote about me!"

 

Then I would have finished with, "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I didn't write that. Do you really think that I'm the only person to have been dumped on this Campus? If you're having problems with guilt, well they're your problems; not mine." Then back to NC.

 

But, the moment has passed....so, just stay with NC.

 

AND WALK WITH YOUR HEAD UP!!! Don't let her think that your life is a wreck! DON'T GIVE HER THAT POWER OVER YOU!!!!

Edited March 5, 2013 by Chi townD

[McDonald]

I'm a huge advocate for NC, but if what you posted is truely anonymous, I would have responded, "What the hell is that?"

 

Obviously, she would respond, "It's what you wrote about me!"

 

Then I would have finished with, "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I didn't write that. Do you really think that I'm the only person to have been dumped on this Campus? If you're having problems with guilt, well they're your problems; not mine." Then back to NC.

 

But, the moment has passed....so, just stay with NC.

 

AND WALK WITH YOUR HEAD UP!!! Don't let her think that your life is a wreck! DON'T GIVE HER THAT POWER OVER YOU!!!!

 

It truly is anonymous and yes that response crossed my my mind multiple. times. I was just dealing with breaking NC. I dont think I was ready yet. And I remember reading somewhere here that If I do have an oppritunity to say something, I should wait at least 24 hours to calm down, and then see if I still want to say something. Because responding due to a sudden urge isnt that smart.

[Chi townD]

It truly is anonymous and yes that response crossed my my mind multiple. times. I was just dealing with breaking NC. I dont think I was ready yet. And I remember reading somewhere here that If I do have an oppritunity to say something, I should wait at least 24 hours to calm down, and then see if I still want to say something. Because responding due to a sudden urge isnt that smart.

 

 

Yep! You're right! So, let it pass. And if you see them in the hall again. Walk with your head held high and not run away. You were the one that was wronged. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

[McDonald]

Yep! You're right! So, let it pass. And if you see them in the hall again. Walk with your head held high and not run away. You were the one that was wronged. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

EXACTLY! Just the way she has been playing it...makes me seem like the bad guy, but I know Im not.

 

maybe thats why its hard for me to understand this becuase I was never at fault, but was the one that lost in a way.

[CudLRoo]

THAT's the point, McD, you AREN'T the bad guy, she just fell more for someone else and that becomes a vessel of BLAME, and, thusly, SEPARATION from you, probably entirely vagina/hormone-based. Just as men wrong women, wronged women wrong men all the time, especially good ones, but you can only let them get away with so much before you pull the plug. I pulled the plug on my ex just before the point I knew it would get even worse and it's weird but I feel like I have a lot of power over her now, even though I don't want it, though I love the fact we are really close in terms of friendship because of this dynamic. It all comes down to that 'beta male' thing, you just get crushed all the time, that seems to be the way, you gotta learn to kick some botty, I guess, and brave the pain out, and get yo ass stronguh, murfur!

 

There is no JUSTICE. Shizzle is not cool. You are not owed anything from a woman. Cardinal rule of a man's life.

[McDonald]

She was my first in a lot of things... so its all been a learning experience for me.

 

She did me wrong big time. it was immature of me to say something about it though... even if it was anonymous.. especially since its been three months.

 

I guess it is time to pull the plug. Im not even holding onto the relationship anymore... I think its just been an ego thing. Me trying to get the last say.