How do I get my ex back after breaking her heart.

[Jowai32]

Hi everyone, this is the first time posting my situation on this forum, It's a little long but I hope that you can give me some advice.

 

Long story short, me and my ex girl friend broke up 3 weeks ago due to some issues, I kinda lied to her about something and it broke her heart. (it's a long story, if anyone wants to know, I'll post it up here) We haven't been dating for too long, only a month. Since we have broken up, I haven't talk to her for a week, but she kept on "liking" my facebook status. And on my Graduation day, she texted me saying "Congrats on your grad. Proud of you". I said "thanks"

 

So after a week I finally contact her the first time since we broke up, ask how she's doing, she said I look nice on my Grad pics that I posted on facebook few days back. We had a pretty good and fun conversation at the beginning. Then I decided to ask her to hang out, first she agreed, and later on when I said I gotta go, text me in the weekend so we can plan which day is good for both of us.

 

She said "I'll see, depends how I feel as well", I ask her how she's feeling. She replied "Yeah, if I even want to see you in person. Not to sound too harsh here, but you really damn well hurt me. Don't know if you could tell last time we talked."

 

She also said

"I really wish you kept that whole thing to yourself or we would of never been here. I thought I could trust you and everything. I was happy, I really was. thought you were pretty perfect in my eyes at the time. But then you broke my trust and kinda messed around with my confidence level. You know how many other guys who would love to be with me right now but I chose to give you the chance instead? Lot's of people were friggin' happy to see me go back to single, not giving a **** I just got hurt by this. I feel like a toy. It's like this to be honest... you hurt me pretty bad, so should I give you another chance, or someone else. That's how I am thinking at the moment. And I have no clue what to do right now"

 

I apologized to her, ask for a chance. And I started to be desperate, I sent her a long paragraph, apologizing and explaining myself. She didn't reply back.

 

So 5 days gone by, I sent her another message, this time I said "Hey, I just wanna say I have been acting a bit crazy lately but you are exactly right I agree we should be broken up and its probably the best thing for both of us. Take care."

 

she replied "If your just saying that 'cause I didn't reply to your last 10 messages, sorry. I just didn't know how to reply considering it was so long didn't know where to begin. And yeah it is. Take care as well"

 

It's been 4 days since then, I really want her back. Right now I'm trying NC. Hopefully she will contact me back. And to me she seems like she still have feelings and couldn't let go of me, but also she doesn't want to get back together.

 

Did I do the right thing here, agreeing the break up and contact her again a month later and see if she's still interested? And what is my next step should be?

 

Thank you so much.

[Jowai32]

I really do want her back. Can anyone give me some advice or thoughts about this please?

Thanks.

[rebeccah413]

I think you should keep giving her space and time, then maybe try to hang out as friends and see where it goes. That's how my ex and I got back together after our first break up where I screwed up a lot...but it didn't lead to a good relationship. You probably have a lot of work to do figuring out trust again.

[start-fresh]

OP, this is a tough one. She sounds like she has a lot of interest from other guys, and frankly, you seem to be acting like a chump right now. You said yourself that you acted desperate, and she has picked up on it. I think the only way you'll have a chance to get her back is to genuinely let go of thoughts of getting back with her for now. Don't torture yourself for a month and hope she'll come crawling back at that time. She sounds like she doesn't have a lot of respect for you right now and when that goes, you're toast in my experience.

[daphne]

I agree with the other posters.

 

She has lost respect for you. You didn't just hurt her. You disappointed her. You may never get another opportunity to prove yourself to her and have her feel the same way again, especially with it being a brief relationship.

 

Give her space and time to get over being angry and try again later. Be patient, if you're serious about trying again. That's the only way she'll give you a chance. Fromm the sound of it, you tried to gain the upper hand by telling her it was the right decision when she didn't respond when you wanted her to. This was a bad move. You can't really hurt her anymore. You already left. She sees any other gamesmanship on your part as more drama and that's why she let it go.

[Jowai32]

Thanks everyone, I guess I'll just have to be patient, let her cool off and try to ask her out again.

 

And Daphne

I agreed with the break up not because I was angry or upset that she didn't respond to me. That wasn't my intention. I was doing that because I feel like I was being really desperate, and I wanna show her that I'm a strong and confident man so I decided to stop chasing her and just let it go. But I guess I sent the wrong signal to her.