Girlfriend dumped me now is emotional as i date other women

[ktya]

Ok so me and the gf both wanted out of our relationship for a while, but with her kid calling me dad and everything. She had a never ending series of health problems both physical and mental, she was a clutterbug and messy it drove me nuts. She slept all day and stayed awake all night and we would even fight over that i just wanted to sleep in the bed at night with my own girlfriend. She was upset that the sex just wasnt there, but when she wouldnt come to bed, hadnt shaved her legs in a month and looked like she just rolled out of bed at 4 when i got home from work. She hated that i drank too much and i do but it.was made worse by the fact id get home.to her sleeping all day in a gong show messy house with the kid running amok gobbling junk food because mom got her home from school and passed out because she was up all night.

 

Ok that rant now over she dumped me and moved out, changed the kids school. We both felt releived over the breakup becuase we were fighting a lot and the fights were getting pretty bad. We got along a lot better. We took on a weird fwb angle and have openly talked to eachother about dating other people and we both have an OLD account. She being a girl of course gets inundated and me being a guy i have to play the numbers game.

 

Adding to the complexity i am kind of done with serious relationships for at least a while and i want a no commitment thing and she is looking for marriage.

 

So the fwb thing seemed to roll along ok and then after christmas i got back on top of my game and i am setting dates all over the place. I was texting 5 girls at a time and she wanted to come over (of course) for some benefits and moved heaven and earth to make it happen.

 

Then after pounding the living daylights out of her for a few hours (sex not violence) she gets all nutty and starts saying how she only wants me and cant keep seeing me if i am dating other women and that if that happens she is going to go exclusive with a guy really fast and bla bla bla bla.

 

I like her and am not trying to hurt her. Ive been honest with her all along and told her that we are basically casually dating, but that im going to see other people and casually date. She has talked about getting back together and i have said that until she is living in her own place and has been set up for a few months i cant even go there. (she is staying with her dad sharing a bed with the kid cooped up in a tiny house). Domestic stuff was a huge problem in our relationship and so i need to see her living in a clean house without flies buzzing around and crap everywhere.

 

What do i do with her? I like her a lot and the sex post breakup has been phenomenal. But i also think its a dumb waste of time for me to be having "the relationship" talk with a girl.who dumped me and has now been basically downgraded to.a friend with benefits.

 

I could see her being upset if i found some girl i wanted to move in with, but a few dates and some chick sexting me who wants to bang me on my boat... This is a good time. Shes the one messaging with 30 guys who want to get married. If we ever did try to work it out i could pretty quickly unwind what ive got going, her, not so much.

 

Plus underscore.. She dumped me and moved out. Im not the dumper im the dumpee.

 

Garg. Sorry for the novel

[Grumpybutfun]

Ktya:

Move on. She hasn't changed her effort level and she sounds lazy and disgusting. I feel sorry for the kid. Fwb after a relationship is just prolonging the madness. Find someone new and leave her to her flies and night owl schedule. Also the drinking has to be managed because no one wants to live with someone in a booze haze. She wants marriage and you do not so don't waste her time or yours. You obviously are not compatible.

Good luck,

Grumps

Edited December 27, 2013 by Grumpybutfun

[Mariposa10]

Whatever you decide to to. You need to stop having sex with her!! That's the first thing. That FWB thing needs to stop, right now.

 

This is really simple, she wants to get married you don't. Move on. Don't waste her time, don't waste your time either.

[Keenly]

What? A woman that still feels she has a say in the mans dating world once she is gone ? You don't say.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Walk away you don't want to get married. Look up men's rights on reddit.

[ktya]

Good advice, yall

 

Thing is when i met this girl i did want to marry her. I feel i was sold a bad bill of goods though.

 

I got with a girl who was a single mom who was going to university to have a future. Weeks after moving in with me she did not return to school because she owed a hundred grand in student loans and ran out of money before she finished. The house was a gong show but i chalked it up to burning the candle at both ends.

 

So less than a month after moving in with me this supposedly gainfully student became a dependent and then with all the health problems i felt like a single dad and caregiver of her. The medical stuff was real and not imagined, she went through two surgeries one spinal fusion pretty major.

 

I was waiting for the bloody crisis to die down so we could return to normal life. She ended up on disability and despite many suggestions that her depression would be helped by volunteering or getting a part time job to get out into the world and stop being so isolated she never got around to it the glass was always half empty if you know what i mean.

 

I like her as a person and with the kid calling me dad for so long she is always going to be in my life in some way or another. I do feel for the kid too her bio dad was a jerk who let her down over and over again to the point i would go to the store and come home to the kid balling her eyes out thinking i left my own house and would never come back.

 

The sex is phenomenal now with the woman and i dont mind casually dating her and seeing if things can work out in the future but ive been pretty open and plain that now that im 37 and single im into casual dating only for now. I dont know what she would possibly expect we could do when she is cooped up sharing a bed with a kid, two cats and a dog in her dads house and to boot she probably said i was horrific to live with because she has to lie about coming over here to get laid, even saying she is meeting someone off of OLD.

 

I care about her but i dont really care because she dumped me. I have a 26 year old little asian cutie who ive set a date with, a girl sexting me pictures of her peirced nipples and an amazing girl i have been talking to who warps my mind. Another 29 year old into me. I was texting all these girls at the same time.

 

Her gig was that now that there are concrete dates with concrete people she cant handle the thought of me being with someone else because she only wants me. We had made an arrangement where i would be sure to wrap it up with other girls so i didnt have to wrap it up with her. Maybe now the competition is bugging her? She is 32 and has had two kids so it would be hard for her to compete with these kind of girls.

 

But in total hypocrisy she is talking to all these single dads (35!) about marriage kids and the white picket fence, then coming over here to get the rockstar bang of her life with me (and its good).

 

I keep telling her that i want to casually date and that im not replacing her but rather just meeting fun girls. Given her current situation theres no way we could even start to work it out because having to lie about coming to see me being all paranoid about her family saying well if it was not so bad then go back. I wouldnt let her move back im happy my house isnt messy and cluttered for the first time in 4 years.

 

I am thinking im going to just go for it and bang these chicks and if she cuts me off then whatever. Ive been honest all along even before we broke up especially about if we ever did break up - and that was that i would casually date and bang chicks but no more serious girlfriends or hunting for wifey.

 

She swore up and down i was cheating on her when i wasnt. She scraped my internet history one too many times and then the fights got really bad. I was craving the attention of a girl who could wake up and do her hair keep her legs shaven and hold down a job and go out for drinks for a long time. While i secretly wanted to hook up i never did and now im like a kid in a candy store and loving it.

 

Thoughts?

[strive]

Stop prolonging the mess and cut all ties.

 

I think you're ready to move on and good for you because the RS doesn't sound so healthy. But by telling her that you're "not replacing her" means that you're putting her as a backup plan in case things with all these new girls start to get boring. Stop stringing her along and let her go so that both of you can move on.

[Mariposa10]

Walk away you don't want to get married. Look up men's rights on reddit.

 

[Mariposa10]

You two want different things. It's as easy as that. Do you want to marry her? No? maybe you wanted in the past but not anymore. So why prolong her pain? It's over. Let this woman find someone who will want to marry her.

 

 

Good advice, yall

 

Thing is when i met this girl i did want to marry her. I feel i was sold a bad bill of goods though.

 

I got with a girl who was a single mom who was going to university to have a future. Weeks after moving in with me she did not return to school because she owed a hundred grand in student loans and ran out of money before she finished. The house was a gong show but i chalked it up to burning the candle at both ends.

 

So less than a month after moving in with me this supposedly gainfully student became a dependent and then with all the health problems i felt like a single dad and caregiver of her. The medical stuff was real and not imagined, she went through two surgeries one spinal fusion pretty major.

 

I was waiting for the bloody crisis to die down so we could return to normal life. She ended up on disability and despite many suggestions that her depression would be helped by volunteering or getting a part time job to get out into the world and stop being so isolated she never got around to it the glass was always half empty if you know what i mean.

 

I like her as a person and with the kid calling me dad for so long she is always going to be in my life in some way or another. I do feel for the kid too her bio dad was a jerk who let her down over and over again to the point i would go to the store and come home to the kid balling her eyes out thinking i left my own house and would never come back.

 

The sex is phenomenal now with the woman and i dont mind casually dating her and seeing if things can work out in the future but ive been pretty open and plain that now that im 37 and single im into casual dating only for now. I dont know what she would possibly expect we could do when she is cooped up sharing a bed with a kid, two cats and a dog in her dads house and to boot she probably said i was horrific to live with because she has to lie about coming over here to get laid, even saying she is meeting someone off of OLD.

 

I care about her but i dont really care because she dumped me. I have a 26 year old little asian cutie who ive set a date with, a girl sexting me pictures of her peirced nipples and an amazing girl i have been talking to who warps my mind. Another 29 year old into me. I was texting all these girls at the same time.

 

Her gig was that now that there are concrete dates with concrete people she cant handle the thought of me being with someone else because she only wants me. We had made an arrangement where i would be sure to wrap it up with other girls so i didnt have to wrap it up with her. Maybe now the competition is bugging her? She is 32 and has had two kids so it would be hard for her to compete with these kind of girls.

 

But in total hypocrisy she is talking to all these single dads (35!) about marriage kids and the white picket fence, then coming over here to get the rockstar bang of her life with me (and its good).

 

I keep telling her that i want to casually date and that im not replacing her but rather just meeting fun girls. Given her current situation theres no way we could even start to work it out because having to lie about coming to see me being all paranoid about her family saying well if it was not so bad then go back. I wouldnt let her move back im happy my house isnt messy and cluttered for the first time in 4 years.

 

I am thinking im going to just go for it and bang these chicks and if she cuts me off then whatever. Ive been honest all along even before we broke up especially about if we ever did break up - and that was that i would casually date and bang chicks but no more serious girlfriends or hunting for wifey.

 

She swore up and down i was cheating on her when i wasnt. She scraped my internet history one too many times and then the fights got really bad. I was craving the attention of a girl who could wake up and do her hair keep her legs shaven and hold down a job and go out for drinks for a long time. While i secretly wanted to hook up i never did and now im like a kid in a candy store and loving it.

 

Thoughts?