Dmthomson Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Hi, I’m confused by my ex whom seems to treat me like a boyfriend. I was dumped by my ex boyfriend two months ago (Relationship lasted 11 months, he’s 33 and I’m 26). This came rather out of the blue. He stated that he wasn’t sure what he wanted and that I did nothing wrong, although I tried getting a thorough answer out of him but I couldn’t. He suggested the next day we’d meet for drinks after work and discuss it. I asked for my keys back during this period but he seemed sad and I replied “just keep them for the time being” as I did not want to upset him further and then he hugged me as I went off to a friend’s house, I acted very caring and sad but he acted defensively with a poker face. We did not chat for a few days but then I did the dreadful mistake of begging (although, only did it the once as it was a mistake) and it wasn’t very extensive or long so don’t think I did myself any damage by doing this. He wanted to meet me and we had a pint and dinner together and all in all it went well. Just two friends hanging out and then I went home and he’d went to his. So a month passed and essentially every week we’d meet up and have a few pints and dinner together. He’d emphasized a few times that he’d still cared about me and seemed to at times reach for my hands and ask how did I get that cut on my skin (from work). He would also give me hugs too. So a month passed (mid December) and we met in a pub near his and had two pints and somehow on the path outside starting snogging and it lead to really good sex. We both got each other Christmas presents and cards but he went to Barcelona with his family over Xmas. Now, NYE is where it got interesting as we went for dinner and went out drinking with mutual friends and got heavily drunk. Afterwards he came back to mine, I did not offer and nor did he asked, kind of just followed me I suppose. I decided to sleep on the floor (I’m a gentleman) and give him the bed. No sex happened and in the afternoon (woke up at ~4pm) he asked me to hug him after a lengthy talk about stuff (not personal stuff) so I did hug him but, then decided to watch TV and play computer games together and he sort of stayed over another night. He was acting like a boyfriend during this time. He went home and then the next week we repeat it again but this time going back to his. We meet every week and he sort of wants to see me on a weekly basis. He also seems to be getting closer i.e. the cuddles get more romantic. Although, he acts hot and cold sometimes so I decided to be very reserved and not message him first etc. He now comments or likes on most of my Facebook posts, messages me and asks me what I’m up to for dinner. He even cooked me dinner last week and sometimes offers to get dinner. What I don’t get is if he just wants to be friends, why does he do this stuff? I want him back, but not on a whims basis as I’d rather build up on it (if it came to this). Link to post Share on other sites
cupcakebunny Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Both of you are old enough not to play these games. Just ask. Seriously. Just say "I want to be exclusive and more serious." If pulls the same ****, then say "Im sorry I'm confused by this behavior and don't like the breadcrumbs. Please give me my keys back." Easy Peasy. If he wanted to date you, he would. Otherwise he just wants someone to be supportive and "there" for him and then to ignore when he's not feeling that. That's fine, he doesn't have to be serious, but you both need to be on the same page. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wlh22 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 First of all, do you know what you want from him? In any case, I agree 100% with cupcakebunny Link to post Share on other sites
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