bradt93 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Hi, I've had trouble with women over the years, I just don't know why. I have "aspergers" which is just a socializing disorder. I think I'm good looking and i'm very smart. I admit, I'm partly to blame, I don't go out and meet women, I stay in my room a lot and do homework. I don't really socialize with anyone. I think I'm a nice guy though, but why do women only go out with douchebags? Also, would women go out with someone who has "aspergers" if they are nice? Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 First off, Aspergers isn't in the DSM V anymore. As of now, Aspergers has been put on a more wider spectrum of Autism. So, if anything, you're autistic. But having Aspergers doesn't mean that you're autistic. I know this because I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was very young, and according to my doctor it's simply just a communication disorder, which doesn't make any sense because aren't we learning to communicate with each other literally every day as we go out and be social in the world? Sociability is a skill just like anything else... And no. Not all women like douche bags. Younger women like douche bags, but I think as they get older they grow out of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I think I'm a nice guy though, but why do women only go out with douchebags? Sometimes all it takes is a pretty woman agreeing to go out on a date with a guy for him to make the switch from Nice Guy to "Douchebag strutting around the place with an invisible roll of carpeting underneath each arm." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 You've already identified your problem. You're in your room not socializing. It has nothing to do with jerks or the women. If you don't meet people you can't find a partner, it's pretty straight forward. Is it going to be annoying, are you going to get a hundred NOs, is it going to require you to get out of your cozy little room? Yes to all of that. But it's simply how it works. It can be fun. Just make it a game. Chat women up without wanting to bed them, just for the heck of it. You'll significantly improve your confidence and attitude. Start by saying hi, move on to finding out what program they're in, to what hobbies they have, you might find someone to study with or for activities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alamo657 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) Women don't go out with jerks, they go out with men who entertain them. Half the time, the guy only wanted some sex, and then women go around moaning about "jerks" and how they now want a "good guy". What they really mean is that they want a guy who entertain AND love them for their personnality at the same time. Beta males believe that because they can't **** around because women barely look at them, they can be "good guys" for the ladies, and sometimes women do date beta males after they've been burned by players, but in truth they want the best of both worlds. They will stay with jerks believing they can help them develop empathy and feelings, and they will temporarily date betas until someone better comes along. Edited January 4, 2017 by Alamo657 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 I think I may hire an escort, I feel like if I have sex, then I will feel more confident approaching normal women. Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I think I may hire an escort, I feel like if I have sex, then I will feel more confident approaching normal women. Bro. You don't need to hire an escort. If you wanna sleep with someone just go to the club and keep trying. It may take you 10 tries, but you will find someone eventually. Don't hire an escort, bro. Honestly that's some low class **** in my opinion. But, if you must.... Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 A couple of my dearest friends are Aspie. Both ended up married with kids - it's not an impossible dream. How old are you Brad? Do you have a job...or are you still looking for employment? Tell us more about yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 A couple of my dearest friends are Aspie. Both ended up married with kids - it's not an impossible dream. How old are you Brad? Do you have a job...or are you still looking for employment? Tell us more about yourself. I'm 28 years old and I'm in college majoring in Business. I'm a student so I don't work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 I already set up an appointment with an escort next month. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Beta males believe that because they can't **** around because women barely look at them, they can be "good guys" for the ladies, and sometimes women do date beta males after they've been burned by players, but in truth they want the best of both worlds. . Well put....extremely.... I can't say this of the OP, but most of the unsuccessful guys that whine about the "jerks" are just aggravated that a guy who isn't necessarily a jerk, but just has some swagger, isn't a doormat, and has some level of confidence is doing well with women....so they label them with names like douche bags and jerks... They just don't get it.. TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 Well put....extremely.... I can't say this of the OP, but most of the unsuccessful guys that whine about the "jerks" are just aggravated that a guy who isn't necessarily a jerk, but just has some swagger, isn't a doormat, and has some level of confidence is doing well with women....so they label them with names like douche bags and jerks... They just don't get it.. TFYPlease I'm not a doormat and as far as "swagger" goes if you mean a partier, then no I don't have any "swag" I have a laid back life, some may call it boring, but that's how I like it. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 What I have found in general is that some guys look at what other guys with girlfriends are doing and scrutinize every behavior and label the person a "douchebag." It's an illusion. It's sour grapes, to an extent. It's usually this "I'd NEVER blow off my girlfriend to go out with the guys!" thing, or "I'd NEVER speak sharply to my girlfriend! Never, not once" and on and on and on. But many of these guys (maybe not you, OP, who knows) will later admit, "There was this girl who was into me and I just wasn't very into her so I'd blow her off once in a while..." "I used to be so bad about texting, I'd make the girl wait..." "I tend to lose my cool once in a while, my girlfriend and I used to fight..." and on and on and on. All of the defensive person's actions are understandable and supportable but any other guy's actions are "douchebaggery" and makes them "jerks." It's an unhealthy stance for a bunch of reasons, but most of all, it makes you think women in general are jerks themselves (for "putting up with" issues X, Y and Z) and you then support that by digging out more and more "what a jerk!" actions under scrutiny on the part of the various boyfriends that the girlfriend "just puts up with" or worse, "likes!!! She LOVES douchy guys" and then it makes you ultimately decide red-pill stuff like "women want to be treated badly." It's just unhealthy and at worst, dangerous. ** Now. As to the autism, as the parent of autistic people I can tell you that you're coming off as "a jerk" too (so once again...I realize this is harder with a social disorder but some empathy and perspective are in order here). You're coming off as the guy perhaps who isn't attentive enough, who interrupts, just wants to talk about "his stuff," doesn't pick up on when the women need sympathy...or whatever. Were you ever officially diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome before the DSM change? (I think that was only a couple of years ago.) If not, beware of self-diagnosis. Autism (which is what it would be called now, officially) isn't "just" difficulty with being social or "just" a social disorder. There is a whole list of criteria that must be met. If you were indeed DXd, have your DX updated by a neuropsych now if you at all can (I know insurance can be tricky on this), and see if any help is available for you. If not (there tends to be less help for adults than for children) have you sought out other autistic people for aid in this regard? There are some good sites dedicated to autistic people helping one another out with input and experiences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Maybe those guys aren't jerks or douchebags and you just have that disability where you judge people incorrectly. You should see if that's covered under Obama-Care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 What I have found in general is that some guys look at what other guys with girlfriends are doing and scrutinize every behavior and label the person a "douchebag." It's an illusion. It's sour grapes, to an extent. It's usually this "I'd NEVER blow off my girlfriend to go out with the guys!" thing, or "I'd NEVER speak sharply to my girlfriend! Never, not once" and on and on and on. But many of these guys (maybe not you, OP, who knows) will later admit, "There was this girl who was into me and I just wasn't very into her so I'd blow her off once in a while..." "I used to be so bad about texting, I'd make the girl wait..." "I tend to lose my cool once in a while, my girlfriend and I used to fight..." and on and on and on. All of the defensive person's actions are understandable and supportable but any other guy's actions are "douchebaggery" and makes them "jerks." It's an unhealthy stance for a bunch of reasons, but most of all, it makes you think women in general are jerks themselves (for "putting up with" issues X, Y and Z) and you then support that by digging out more and more "what a jerk!" actions under scrutiny on the part of the various boyfriends that the girlfriend "just puts up with" or worse, "likes!!! She LOVES douchy guys" and then it makes you ultimately decide red-pill stuff like "women want to be treated badly." It's just unhealthy and at worst, dangerous. ** Now. As to the autism, as the parent of autistic people I can tell you that you're coming off as "a jerk" too (so once again...I realize this is harder with a social disorder but some empathy and perspective are in order here). You're coming off as the guy perhaps who isn't attentive enough, who interrupts, just wants to talk about "his stuff," doesn't pick up on when the women need sympathy...or whatever. Were you ever officially diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome before the DSM change? (I think that was only a couple of years ago.) If not, beware of self-diagnosis. Autism (which is what it would be called now, officially) isn't "just" difficulty with being social or "just" a social disorder. There is a whole list of criteria that must be met. If you were indeed DXd, have your DX updated by a neuropsych now if you at all can (I know insurance can be tricky on this), and see if any help is available for you. If not (there tends to be less help for adults than for children) have you sought out other autistic people for aid in this regard? There are some good sites dedicated to autistic people helping one another out with input and experiences. I'm not autistic,I have aspergers and it's a social disorder, it's not "mental retardation" I'm actually very intelligent. I was officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist. I will also stand by my statement, women don't like the good guys and they only go out with jerks. I'm not wasting my time anymore with relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 Maybe those guys aren't jerks or douchebags and you just have that disability where you judge people incorrectly. You should see if that's covered under Obama-Care. I just go by what I see and I see a lot of women who go out with douchebags. I guess it's true that nice guys finish last. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I guess it's true that nice guys finish last. yes, that's basically true for all walks of life Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Well put....extremely.... I can't say this of the OP, but most of the unsuccessful guys that whine about the "jerks" are just aggravated that a guy who isn't necessarily a jerk, but just has some swagger, isn't a doormat, and has some level of confidence is doing well with women....so they label them with names like douche bags and jerks... They just don't get it.. TFY I do think, joking apart, that when men refer to other men who are reasonably popular with women as "douchebags" it sends out negative signals about resentment, jealousy etc. It reminds me a bit of being 14 when my brother and his friends would slag off any and every musician who my friends and I found attractive. The mere fact that girls liked a guy seemed to be enough for other guys to attribute all sorts of nasties to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I'm not autistic,I have aspergers and it's a social disorder, it's not "mental retardation" I'm actually very intelligent. I was officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist. I will also stand by my statement, women don't like the good guys and they only go out with jerks. I'm not wasting my time anymore with relationships. Er... if you have Aspergers, you are autistic. Period. They are one and the same. However, Autism is a spectrum and there are many levels. Some quite severe, and dependent on others, others quite functional, with only some social limitations. It doesn't change the fact that you're autistic. As for the fact that women only date douchebags... You need your eyes checked. It's just simply NOT true. Sure, some do. Some women ARE douchebags also. But quite frankly, you sound like a "nice guy". The type that turns into a douchebag every time a woman rejects him... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 Er... if you have Aspergers, you are autistic. Period. They are one and the same. However, Autism is a spectrum and there are many levels. Some quite severe, and dependent on others, others quite functional, with only some social limitations. It doesn't change the fact that you're autistic. As for the fact that women only date douchebags... You need your eyes checked. It's just simply NOT true. Sure, some do. Some women ARE douchebags also. But quite frankly, you sound like a "nice guy". The type that turns into a douchebag every time a woman rejects him... It's not the same thing as "mental retardation" though. My cousin has aspergers and she's very smart and functional. I'm the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 It's not the same thing as "mental retardation" though. My cousin has aspergers and she's very smart and functional. I'm the same way. Wouldn't know, never been rejected. I just don't approach women period, as I said before if I want sex, I will pay for it. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Like other autism profiles, Asperger syndrome is a lifelong developmental disability that affects how people perceive the world and interact with others. People with Asperger syndrome see, hear and feel the world differently to other people. If you have Asperger syndrome, you have it for life – it is not an illness or disease and cannot be ‘cured’. Often people feel that Asperger syndrome is a fundamental aspect of their identity. Autism is a spectrum condition. All autistic people share certain difficulties, but being autistic will affect them in different ways. Some people with Asperger syndrome also have mental health issues or other conditions, meaning people need different levels and types of support. People with Asperger syndrome are of average or above average intelligence. They do not usually have the learning disabilities that many autistic people have, but they may have specific learning difficulties. They have fewer problems with speech but may still have difficulties with understanding and processing language. .Asperger syndrome - NAS Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 It will take more than being nice to keep up a relationship. I've been called nice plenty of times and dumped also...And i'm a girl. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I'm not autistic,I have aspergers and it's a social disorder, it's not "mental retardation" I'm actually very intelligent. I was officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist. I will also stand by my statement, women don't like the good guys and they only go out with jerks. I'm not wasting my time anymore with relationships. The DX formerly known as Asperger Syndrome is autism. I said nothing about mental retardation, as you call it (i.e. intellectual delay). If you decide not to have relationships that's up to you. It's a personal decision. However, your views on relationships ARE skewed in this area. MOST people I know who are dating/married have more or less average relationships, with neither partner either perfect, or a "jerk." They're just normal people who sometimes screw up, and other times don't, and are just trying to love one another and live their lives harmoniously. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Let's leave the specifics of any psychological diagnosis to professionals, and none are allowed to post here in a professional capacity, and return to the relationship aspects of women dating jerks, or not, and why or why not. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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