I have never felt this determined before

March 1, 2012

I'm 28 and a half... staring down the face of 30. For the past 4 years, since I finished the graduate program at State, I think I have purposely delayed full adulthood. I wanted to be a big kid, still. To be carefree, still.

But now, staring in the face of 30, I know it's time to get my act together.

I'm excited because right now I'm focused and determined to accomplish these things in the near future:

1. Lose weight

2. Get a full time teaching position

3. Move out

For #1, I'm cutting out fast food and soda. I'm exercising more. I've never been "skinny" in my life before. It'd be nice to be that for a change. I'm working out and running again. It feels good.

For #2, I finally got my credential paperwork and all that. Now is the time for applying myself and handing out resumes, as well as doing some networking.

#3 will take care of itself in due time, so I'm not exactly sweating it.

Although I desire a girlfriend badly, right now it's not even a blip on my radar. I have never felt more peaceful or determined to finally take that next step in my life. I'm definitely a late bloomer, but better late than never.

I was encouraged recently by a moving message I heard on the radio.

The world has been changed, and people's lives were most enriched WHEN they did the following 3 things

1. Discovered their gifts

2. Developed their gifts

3. Distributed their gifts

It's not rocket science. Do. Be. Try. Move.

Whatever you do, don't stand still.

Even going slow (but never stopping) makes you a winner. Just like the Tortoise. Slow and steady wins the race.

But we gotta move!

Is anyone else here feeling excited about their own personal future like I am? I can just feel the winds of change coming... and it's because I'm finally ready to take some action!

March 4, 2012

Update time.

I want to take a minute and address how important it is for a person, especially one seeking to advance in their life and not just remain standing still, how so critical it is for a person to have friends supporting and cheering you on.

Friday I didn't have work. I didn't have any Friday night plans, either. So guess what, I spent the whole day at home. I read a teaching-related book for a bit, but mainly I was chilling and surfing the net. Not being too productive. Needless to say, it's one of those days you won't remember a week later. I love my down time, and enjoy being alone.

However, my limit is about 24 hours being by myself and not leaving the house once.

Saturday I could have done another "stay-completely-at-home" day but I was determined to get out there and socialize. More than 24 hours I start to feel a little disconnected, and there's a very fine line between "recharging one's batteries" versus "being an anti-social recluse."

So today I:

A. Had lunch with my brother and girlfriend

B. Went to church service (which I almost didn't do, but decided last minute to and was blessed by it)

C. Went to a potluck dinner with some church friends (which again, I was SO close to making an excuse to stay home, but forged ahead, and was once again blessed by going)

A. It was good to catch up with my older brother and his girlfriend over lunch

B. The message spoke loudly to me, and blessed me. The worship songs also uplifted my heart and spirit I also sat by some old church friends and it was good to hug each other and show one another some love

C. Got a chance to catch up with some old church friends I hadn't really seen/spoke with in a while. I actually shared with them about my teaching aspirations, and how I'm only teaching part-time right now, but desiring to teach full-time. A couple of them already knew this, but most didn't. Most just assumed I was already teaching full time, M-F 8AM-3PM.

Also told them about the teacher's fair coming up later this month, and how I could use their prayers for this huge event.

Next thing I know, all of them (about 7 total) stood up and they told me "Let's pray for Teknoe right now, in Jesus' name."

I was humbled, and overwhelmed by their support and love.

They gathered around me, placed their hands on my shoulders, and one by one, they lifted me and my teaching career aspirations up into God's hands. As they prayed, I could feel the love of God flowing in that room. It was pretty amazing. At the end, I had tears and I hugged each one of them.

I have faith God will lead me to just the right teaching position

Tonight reminded me how important it is to NOT be isolated. To have loving, supporting friends. Friends who know how to encourage you, but at the same time know how to help keep you accountable and on track. One of the sisters in this group is a teacher and she's going to help me with my resume, cover letter, mock interview, etc.

In fact, she asked me to call her next week.

I just feel so blessed and loved. And empowered. Had I stayed home today, I wouldn't have felt any of this. It would have just been another lonely unmemorable day surfing the 'net. Posting on a board like this is not a good substitute for real life relationships.

I look to the future with great hope, joy and peace. I wish everyone who is hurting here, could experience this joy I have for themselves. For those here lacking any sort of real life support group, I pray you'll seek and find one. It really does make a big difference in your overall emotional well-being.

You often hear the saying "The truth will set you free." (did you know that's Biblical? See John 8:32). That phrase is so true. There is power when you confess and admit verbally addictions, bad habits, shortcomings and such to loving friends. Somehow, by confessing, you release a lot of the power that sin so often grips us in. Then you get love, encouragement and accountability to help you stand up against whatever it is that is holding you back from being the man or woman you were created to be.

Tonight encouraged me incredibly! I pray this post encourages someone.

March 4, 2012

This is great to hear, and I honestly hope you continue to grow into the person you want to be, Teknoe.

I've been feeling more optimistic about things myself. I'm basically looking to become more of a social person, get into much better shape, stay away from certain foods as well as negativity, and continue working on my career goals. I think the big thing for me is staying away from negativity.

There have been a few nights where I couldn't help but read certain topics, and usually I regret doing it once I get mid-way into it--or a few nights where I'd not workout as much, if at all. There's always room for improvement, so I can't let it bother me too much. I guess it's just a matter of my mindset going through some changes.

At one point, I feared the world, rejection and making mistakes. To an extent, I still have that fear. Now, however, I'm actually excited at getting out into the world and learning more about it rather than doing my best to avoid it. Rejection and making mistakes are apart of life, so facing them is just a process that I have to grow accustomed to.

I've focused on staying in my comfort zone for quite awhile, taking no risks in the process. While it seems like I avoided a rejection, I've also gained nothing in the process. I think it's much better to go for what you want, even if it seems like a long-shot in your mind. Regret is one of the worse feelings, especially when you continuously think about the potential gains that are possible.

Anyway, nice topic. Continue to update us on your progress, Teknoe.

March 4, 2012

I truly appreciate reading positive posts like yours. Thank you, and carry on! You are on such a good path, I'm sure that your post will inspire others to find one of their own.

March 4, 2012

Thank you, guys! You know, it's encouraging to read some positive posts on LoveShack for a change. Have you noticed how most people focus overwhelmingly on what they don't have or lack? I guess that's not bad in itself, but it is bad when it's done from a "woe is me" viewpoint instead of a posture of "How could I improve?" (most LS posts are of the former, unfortunately). I definitely believe if you think negatively too often, it becomes a part of one's own "losing culture." It's a worm that gets embedded deep in your brain and heart.

This is great to hear, and I honestly hope you continue to grow into the person you want to be, Teknoe.

I've been feeling more optimistic about things myself. I'm basically looking to become more of a social person, get into much better shape, stay away from certain foods as well as negativity, and continue working on my career goals. I think the big thing for me is staying away from negativity.

There have been a few nights where I couldn't help but read certain topics, and usually I regret doing it once I get mid-way into it--or a few nights where I'd not workout as much, if at all. There's always room for improvement, so I can't let it bother me too much. I guess it's just a matter of my mindset going through some changes.

At one point, I feared the world, rejection and making mistakes. To an extent, I still have that fear. Now, however, I'm actually excited at getting out into the world and learning more about it rather than doing my best to avoid it. Rejection and making mistakes are apart of life, so facing them is just a process that I have to grow accustomed to.

I've focused on staying in my comfort zone for quite awhile, taking no risks in the process. While it seems like I avoided a rejection, I've also gained nothing in the process. I think it's much better to go for what you want, even if it seems like a long-shot in your mind. Regret is one of the worse feelings, especially when you continuously think about the potential gains that are possible.

Anyway, nice topic. Continue to update us on your progress, Teknoe.

Man, you and I are a lot alike. I totally know what you speak of. There are a lot of topics I no longer click on. Most of the topics in Dating for example. They are, IMHO, often a cesspool of overanalysis and I've found reading or posting threads about dating has never helped me. It just made me more anxious or worried. I long decided to just stop reading most of those threads because they were bringing me down in spirit.

Also like you, I've let fear get the worst of me. For the past 4 years I have been taking no risks in my teaching career. Contently teaching part-time, after school hours (4-6:30) in small student size classrooms. Teaching the same subjects. Teaching in the same manner. I was just so afraid to apply myself further. In some ways I still am, but now I'm finally marching ahead.

It's kind of funny but one movie I watched in mid-late 2011 really stuck with me. It's actually streaming right now on Netflix. It's TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT. The main character graduated and instead of applying for his dream job he decides to work at Suncoast Video (yeah, it's set in the late '80s... remember that store at the mall back in the day? I sure do, used to love that store as a kid because of all the cool looking VHS boxes I'd spend 15 minutes gawking at, lol). He's just there stalling time "trying to figure it out."

At one point his dad told him,

"Son, I'm disappointed that you never tried. Just pull the trigger, if nothing else to hear it go off."

That quote really hit home with me. "Pull the trigger, if nothing else to hear it go off."

In other words, JUST DO SOMETHING. The worst is to be standing still.

Like you Cracker Jack, I've started working out again. I lift weights and do some cardio Thursday and Saturday nights. I've been doing this for the past 5 weeks now. My body has adjusted and whereas the 1st time my body ached now it's used to it. I can feel a slight bulge in my muscles now! And I run on Sunday afternoons. I started this the last 3 weeks. In fact, I jogged 5 miles non-stop 2 Sundays ago. It feels good.

Perhaps most importantly though, for Lent (40 days) I have given up all fast food, soda, horror movies (I was starting to get some freaky dreams. I used to love horror movies. Now I feel convicted to not partake in them, especially since I have had some scary dreams recently after watching them, which never happened before) and also pornography/masturbation. Oh we're getting real now. Yes. No fast food, no soda, no horror movies, no porn or masturbation.

I have about 33 more days to go. It feels good not to swing by the local fast food drive-in. I can already see a slight change in my body (i.e. slightly less face fat) and I can honestly say, I'm looking and feeling pretty damn good! I haven't viewed porn or masturbated since February 3... so I'm now just over a month clean. I started this way before Lent, because I felt convicted. I do feel porn is a chemical addiction, and that while the act of viewing it and "enjoying it" (ahem) feels good in the moment, I've found I usually feel not so good after. This is just a personal conviction.

I can honestly say after giving up porn, I have felt more productive in my life, and some blessings have come into my life.

I'm not trying to say everyone should do this, or that somehow I'm better than others. Your business is yours. But for me, I know it was a personal conviction God was trying to speak to me about. Honestly, it's by faith I have been clean these past 30 days. I have never gone 30 days clean before. I don't miss it. It was a destructive part of an old lifestyle I ain't going back to.

All in all, working out, eating healthier, living healthier and making better choices with how I spend my time. It's not rocket science. If you want a better life, start by developing healthier habits. There is some pain in the process, but a diamond isn't made without a lot of pressure applied.

In the end, it's worth it.

You're worth it. You're that diamond, but in order to get to your rightful destination, you have to be ready for some serious pressure (it's how diamonds are made!) and always keep keepin' on!

I'm going to go jog my 5 miles now

Please, take care of yourself everyone, physically, mentally and spiritually!

Edited March 4, 2012 by Teknoe

March 6, 2012

OK, quick timeline check

June 2008 ---> Graduated teaching program. Earned a part-time job a week later. Decided to take "the year off" in order to slowly gain more experience through subbing and my part-time after school teaching position (which I'm still at to this day)

2009 ---> Became heavily involved within my church community (actually, this is the year I became Christian after being agnostic for 25 years). Didn't yet fill out the teaching credential paperwork to officially get my credential. I also didn't fill out the necessary forms to become a sub. I told myself 2010 will be the year

2010 ---> Ditto 2009 except I said 2011 will be the year

Sept. 2011 ---> FINALLY filled out papers to be a substitute teacher. Called 10 districts. None were hiring, but it was a huge step for me to finally step out of my comfort zone

Nov. 2011 ---> Reconnected with a dear old friend named Becky. I first met Becky on Halloween night 1994, when I was 11, she 41. Had lunch with Becky for the first time ever, not having seen her in several years. I was now 28, and she was now 58. In our reconnecting, I found out she has been teaching 35 years now, and been teaching 25 years at the same public school!

I told her about my long teaching journey, with all the stops and goes (mainly stops) in the last four years. She encouraged me and told me it's all about timing, and that God knows best (she herself is Christian). It really blessed me. She also told me to go speak with her district's sub coordinator, and that she'll put in a good word for me

Dec. 2011 ---> I came in the office to apply as a sub. I was treated like royalty the minute I stepped in. Was hired as a sub on the spot. Because of Becky putting in a good word for me.

Dec. 16, 2011 ---> Missed my first would-be sub assignment b/c I slept through my phone vibrating! I thought vibrating on my desk would be loud enough to wake me up, but nope, I was sleeping like a baby. I learned to leave my phone on max. volume. Lesson learned!

Jan. 2012 ---> No sub calls, but I remained true and faithful. I also finally applied for my official credential by filling out the necessary forms and turning them in. Gee, what took me four hours to do I should have done four years ago! That's how gripping fear can be, and how dangerous telling yourself "I can wait until _____" can be... lesson learned!

Valentines 2012 ---> My phone woke me up, ringing on maximum volume. It was 7:35 AM and they needed an 8th grade PE teacher. I jumped out of bed and outta the house! I was so excited. Today was my first day EVER substituting. EVER. Shoot. I should have had my first sub day FIVE years ago (if I handled the paper work at a more appropriate time), but I was encouraged because I know it's not TOO late to start/continue my teaching dreams.

Also, believe it or not, driving on the freeway I heard this message on the radio. I was listening to a sermon, and the preacher said this: "Turn to your neighbor and say... NEIGHBOR... TODAY YOU GET STARTED!"

I literally got goosebumps. I felt as though God was speaking directly to me, encouraging me. He was

A couple days later ---> Got an email from the Teaching Comission... they approved of my paperwork and I was officially licensed my teaching credential!

Last Monday ---> Came in to observe my dear old friend Becky teach Kindergarten. She was as poised and experienced (35 years in the biz and counting!) as they come. It was a joy to watch her and help her with some of the lessons. In the 2nd half of the day I went to 5th grade to observe another teacher... which brings me to....

TODAY ---> That 5th grade teacher I observed exactly one week ago? She was out and so they called me in to sub for her. This was my first classroom subbing assignment EVER. Today was a huge step for me. What should have happened five years ago has finally happened. I can't dwell on what I didn't do in the past. All we can focus on (if we want to act in a healthy manner) are the good things we CAN DO/CHANGE/IMPACT TODAY.

Her lesson plans were sparse so I had some free time. I was panicking because I didn't really know what to do with the students. And then, I saw it. On her desk were a stack of Halloween narratives the students had written from last October. So I talked to them about their writing, and then shared with them, orally, my infamous Halloween 1994 adventure. Now, this is a story/speech I've shared since college, I've told it dozens of times and probably over 500 people have heard it by now.

Since that night involves Becky, most of the students knew her and thus, the story hit home "closer" to them than all my previous audience members. They were hooked from beginning to end.

I think about all these scenarios and I ask myself... was it all a coincidence?

-Becky and I meeting Halloween night, 1994

-I've shared that night (in 10 minute speech form) dozens of times before and to hundreds of people before

-That there were Halloween narratives on the desk

-That I was sharing a story about a lot of the kids' former Kindergarten teacher

-Becky and I reconnecting November 2011, which made recent 2012 events possible

Are all these things one big, fat coincidence? Some people will say yes. I say absolutely not. I firmly believe every experience in life is an opportunity for us to learn and grow from. Both the good AND bad experiences. But the key is, we must approach it with the right posture: one birthed out of a sincere desire to see what lessons life is trying to constantly teach us.

Success is when opportunity meets preparation. You can't just sit around and wait for your life to "take off." You gotta do whatever it takes to put yourself in a good position. Network, brush up on current content, etc. You got to prepare yourself so when opportunity comes knocking, you'll be ready. (not just career, but relationship-wise too. So many people desire having a boyfriend or girlfriend, when too many times, they overlook asking themselves a dead-honest question: "Am I really BF or GF material myself?")

Just remember: It's never TOO late to start, continue or finish. For me, I feel like I am, after all these years, finally doing all 3.

Edited March 6, 2012 by Teknoe

March 6, 2012

Reading your post is encouraging. I'm glad that you got the ball rolling on your life!!

I too have been making positive changes in my life. Just turned 28 myself so that in itself pushes me to get stuff done now before I wake up 30 years old and haven't accomplished anything that I planned to accomplish.

It's funny that you keep talking about moving forward and not standing still. It describes exactly the way that I see things. I have stood still for so long that learning to move again is both scary and exhilirating. Even if you go the wrong way it is better than standing in one spot. It is sooo easy to get stuck in a rut.

March 6, 2012

Reading your post is encouraging. I'm glad that you got the ball rolling on your life!!

I too have been making positive changes in my life. Just turned 28 myself so that in itself pushes me to get stuff done now before I wake up 30 years old and haven't accomplished anything that I planned to accomplish.

Yeah, isn't it funny how 28-ish seems to be that age where many people who aren't where they want to be really start to tackle issues they should have tackled 3-4 years ago? I think there's definitely something to be said for staring in the face of 30. Also, after a while, you just get tired of standing still... which brings me to...

It's funny that you keep talking about moving forward and not standing still. It describes exactly the way that I see things. I have stood still for so long that learning to move again is both scary and exhilirating. Even if you go the wrong way it is better than standing in one spot. It is sooo easy to get stuck in a rut.

Brother, that's the power of the universe. Once in a while, you see or hear something from someone else that really resonates with your current situation. Use it as motivation. Use it as momentum. Like you said, it's SOOO easy to get stuck in a rut. If I got paid a dime for everytime I said "I'll do it tomorrow or next week" in the past four years, I would be a millionaire by now.

I can tell you now that I'm moving, it definitely IS both scary and exhilarating. Why, last night I couldn't even sleep. I think I slept all of 30 minutes! I was just so amped up by the prospect of finally moving and subbing my 1st day ever in the classroom. I wanted to get into teaching because of my 5th grade male teacher. I wanted to give back. My first subbing assignment ever? 5th grade. Somehow, I could feel the spirit of Mr. G smiling on me

There is a famous saying out there that goes, "a long journey begins with just one step."

It's not necessarily about how fast we go, but that we go, period. Just like the Tortoise, slow and steady >>> stopping and sleeping on life anyday of the week. It's like, I run 2 miles every Sunday. You laugh at me and say "Pffft, 2 miles a week? That's nothing. You might as well not run at all, like me. I mean, 2 miles -- why even bother?"

Guess what, if I ran 2 miles every week and you didn't because you thought "why bother?" -- then after two years this is the count:

You: 0 miles ran

Me: 96 miles ran

It's much better than nothing after all, sure enough.

So many people (myself included!) are so scared of the journey that they find excuses to not even try. But as we hear so many times, the real loser isn't the person who tries and fails. The real loser is the person who doesn't even bother getting into the game to begin with. You also don't want to be that guy complaining about the same issues year after year, stuck in the same rut year after year, having tried the bare minimum to improve. DON'T BE THAT DUDE.

It's time for us to step away from the bench. Step out of the boat. And step into our destinies. Time to step into the game.

March 12, 2012

the real loser isn't the person who tries and fails. The real loser is the person who doesn't even bother getting into the game to begin with.

Update time. BTW, the quote above? It's so true. Get in the game! The worst thing is not putting yourself in the game at all. You will never know what you're capable of!

This past week I had two subbing assignments One was for 5th grade and the other was for 8th grade Tech. Tek teaching tech, lol... ahem, moving along then...

It was a good week. I got some added experience. The junior high kids are an interesting crowd. They are testing my classroom management skills and I embrace that. It's good to be challenged, to continually push yourself to learn new things (about the world and about yourself).

Today I jogged 5 miles non-stop. Last summer I jogged 100 miles (from late May to late August 2011). Once I reached my summer goal, I got complacent and stopped running. Now after a long break, I'm finally back. The thing too is... I almost didn't run today. I was feeling kind of lazy. It was 5:30 and I could feel myself making up an excuse to stay in the house and not go jog (i.e. the weather doesn't look all that great/inviting, it's already 5:30 I'll do it next week, etc.)

But I casted aside my feelings and headed to the local track.

I ended up jogging 5 miles. I was going to stop at 2 miles, but after I did my 8th lap I felt pretty good and told myself let's do 12 more.

So I went from staying in to having ran 5 miles, feeling great about myself and continuing the momentum I've already built.

THIS IS HOW YOU GET OUT OF RUTS/SLUMPS.

You don't base your decisions on FEELINGS.

Had I based my decision of whether to run or not on my feelings, I wouldn't have ran today. Heck, I wouldn't run 95% of the time if it were based solely on my feelings.

I've really realized in the last month how important it is to make healthy choices. It's really not that complicated. If you want to live a healthier life, physically mentally and spiritually, then you need to take care of yourself, mind body and soul. Make wise decisions, not decisions based on feelings.

Another praise report is I've completely cut burgers and soda out of my life. I used to eat 3 burgers a week, sometimes even 4. I know, it was a LOT. I was getting fatter and fatter. One day I looked at my face in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. It was time to make healthier choices.

Since cutting out burgers and soda, and running/lifting weights again in the last 5 weeks, I have lost some of my fat. I can't wait to see myself in 3 months... in 6 months... in a year. I'm feeling good!

It's all about creating positive momentum and basing your day-to-day decisions on healthy choices. You can eat that 800 calorie bacon cheeseburger and then surf the net all night long, or you can eat a healthy low-calorie meal and walk around the block for 30 minutes.

You can start to make decisions that will push you toward good things rather than decisions that are likely to push you toward bad results.

I just want to encourage somebody... I'm on this great momentum push right now... and it really boils down to being disciplined, being determined and being dedicated. The 3-D's...

If I can do it, surely anyone else reading this can as well!

Oh, and one last praise report. I have not viewed pornography or masturbated at all in the last 5 weeks. Since I gave that up (I used to do it about once a day, twice if I felt sad/lonely), my whole life has risen out of the ashes. It was a chemical addiction, and while it brought momentary pleasures, in the end it was corrupting me. I had to get out, I had to break free.

I thank God I have been able to. Haven't looked at a porn site or masturbated for 5 weeks now. Glory be to God for taking me from a low place being chained to porn usage to a position where I'm able to live a victorious life walking upright and seeing all aspects of my life take off (i.e. career ---> it was when I stopped masturbating that the substitute phone calls started pouring in)

I'm not trying to be "holier-than-thou" -- please do not misinterpret the point of this message. All I'm saying: porn was slowly withering me away, and I'm so glad it's been out of my life these past 5 weeks. I don't want to ever go back. How did I break free? Honestly, it was simply birthed out of a sincere desire to walk upright with God, to honor Him and I cried out to Him for deliverance on February 3rd (the last time I looked/did the deed). Ever since, my chains have cut and I've been set free of a serious addiction that was ruining my life.

Not backing down. Not going back.

Time to move on with my life! I hope everyone here is moving along positively in theirs as well. Take care y'all.

March 12, 2012

Teknoe...

Your words are so inspiring! Please keep posting. I need a cheerleader like you!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D

March 12, 2012

What a lovely, inspiring post!

I agree, if we sit around waiting to 'feel' like it, we remain sitting waiting to feel like it.

March 12, 2012

Teknoe...

Your words are so inspiring! Please keep posting. I need a cheerleader like you!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D

You're very welcome. Here's another good key to take note of... we all have seasons of "being in the wilderness" so to speak. Seasons that don't produce a whole lotta fruit, and we're not exactly sure what to do or where to go. The key I've seen (and now am experiencing) is to get out of this season of wilderness, you have to JUST DO SOMETHING. Anything that could be positive/productive... DO IT! It's also critical to have a mindset that the "Promise Land" is just over the horizon. Make no bones about it, your "wilderness" is only a season, it's not forever! Sadly, some people do think and operate as though they're living in the wilderness forever. Some are so comfortable in their rut that they have officially made their bed out in the desert. I'm here to tell somebody DON'T CAMP OUT!

Lose the woe-is-me mentality and start inching toward something, anything remotely positive. It could be

getting more fit
making new healthy friendships
taking some adult skill classes (i.e. photography, public speaking, a sport)
going back to school to get your degree
doing some volunteer work in your community
writing a forgiveness letter to an old friend (this is very powerful -- releasing anyone who has hurt you from continuing to hurt you!)

And so forth. The worst thing you can do is THINK you'll be stuck in the wilderness forever, and to adopt a "wilderness lifestyle" (complaining, but not doing anything about it... waiting for some miracle, usually thought to be in the form of that magic bullet boyfriend or girlfriend who will whisk you out of this rut... a very dangerous way of thinking and living! Because it's completely untrue and unrealistic)

I'm hoping you will be able to make a shift in your thinking, lostinlife. In fact, it's my hope you will go from "lostinlife4now" to "foundmywayinlife!"

What a lovely, inspiring post!

I agree, if we sit around waiting to 'feel' like it, we remain sitting waiting to feel like it.

Thanks, and amen. Our feelings can't be trusted because they're fickle. This is why we see so many relationships and particularly marriages that fail. I'm from the old school. I don't play games. I don't read up or apply "PU" tricks. I don't insult girls to elevate myself or make them chase me. The reason why so many relationships fail is because of feelings. In marriage, to me that's a covenant. That's til death do us part, for better or worse.

It's NOT about feelings. It's about a lifetime commitment to each other, even if your partner gets in a horrible accident and is crippled the rest of their life.

Feelings are fleeting and fickle. Emotions aren't inherently bad things, don't get me wrong, but to live your life completely guided by them is a recipe for disaster.

How many times did I *FEEL* like stopping by the drive-thru on my way home from whatever at 10 PM? About everytime. I acted on those feelings and what has it gotten me? Fat.

How many times did I *FEEL* like not running? September 2011-January 2012. I acted on those feelings and what has it gotten me? A lack of exercise and an increase in my waist.

How many times did I *FEEL* like NOT taking care of my teaching paperwork until next week? For damn near four years. I acted on those feelings and what has it gotten me? It's delayed my life from launching.

Simply put, don't base decisions on feelings. Because feelings like the easy, safe way out. From now on, I'm making a stand to make WISE decisions, rather than feelings. I'm really developing a discipline I never thought I had in me. If you look at all the "successful" people in life, you will see a high degree of discipline and dedication in their lives. Be disciplined in making wise choices, not ones based on feelings.

You gotta take care of business and yourself. It's the formula to living a victorious life.

Edited March 12, 2012 by Teknoe

March 12, 2012

I actually like the OP's post better than the ones that the other guy wrote who said he was on his way of becoming an alpha and was not bitter (supposedly).

March 12, 2012

Inspirational post and what a blessing to be getting this so young. I took a little longer to get here! Great post.

March 13, 2012

You are inspirational!

Keep going on this path and more great things will happen in your life. Thanks for updating your thread T!

March 18, 2012

Awesome post! Thank you very much

March 19, 2012

Hey Rimer, good to see you making your way to this topic. How are things going for you since that girl topic you posted a week or so ago over at the Dating Forum?

Well guys, quick update. I had a slip-up. After 42 days clean of masturbation and pornography, I had a moment of weakness Saturday night. The 42-day streak was broken. I'm not sweating it or down on myself though. I'm getting back up, dusting myself off and moving on. It happened, no need to dwell on it, and press forward.

I ran 5 miles non-stop today... the 2nd Sunday in a row in which I have ran 5 miles. It feels gooooood. I can already feel my waist slimming down, and I still have yet to drink soda or eat a burger for about 4 weeks now.

Now I need to go update my teaching resume/portfolio. Take care!

March 25, 2012

Hey guys,

Big update time. Yesterday (Saturday) I attended a teacher's fair. This is where prospective teachers like myself go to meet nearly 30 different school districts. It's a lot of hand shaking, resume passing out and networking. This was my first teacher's fair. I should have gone 2008-2011 but I didn't out of fear. 2012 is my year, though. I stepped out in bold faith.

I'm better now today than I was 30 hours ago. Now school districts have seen my face, they have my cover letter, resume and letters of recommendation. My name is out there! When your name is out there, and NOT hidden, you never know what might happen.

Being that the teacher field is largely females, I was surrounded by a sea of women today. I spoke (professionally) with many and built up a great rapport. In my suit, I must have been pretty charming because while waiting in line, I was constantly chatting up 2-3 females around me. I came in feeling confident -- I got nothing to lose. Even if I'm not hired, my chances shot up now that I've attended. It's all about increasing your percentages. Talking to the ladies and being a smooth cat about it definitely gave another boost to my confidence.

But I wasn't talking to date or "meet someone." It was just making human connections. We're all aspiring teachers. We're all at this fair together. Even though jobs are limited, I believe I can talk to my "competition" so to speak. Plus I believe in my own abilities.

Funny thing was, as I was talking to them in a care-free fashion, I swore there were a couple girls who were impressed by the way I carried myself confidently. Their feet were pointed to me (a good body language sign), they maintained eye contact and they asked me questions (to further the conversation).

At the end I even got the email of a rather attractive girl in the parking lot.

So now, even though teaching is a tough field to get hired in right now, I have faith. It only takes one. Today was a good day. Oh, Friday the day before, I went out, got my beard and mustache trimmed by a professional and bought new classy dress shoes to wear at the Fair. I also patched up my cover letter and resume. It was such a crazy productive day. I felt so alive.

Friday --> all day prepping/taking care of business (trimmed beard/bought new shoes for the Fair), edited my resume/CL

Went to bed at 2 AM

Woke up at 6 AM to get ready for a dress rehearsal (I'll be in a play that's opening up next week). Did Rehearsal for 2 hours. Jetted out at 10:30

11 AM-2 PM was at the fair.

4:30-6 I went to a Saturday night church service

6:30-10:30 I went to my former crush's bday party. She now has a BF. I never told her I liked her last year. To this day we're good friends. I have no regrets or feelings of sorrow about her. In fact I am happy for her and her new BF. They seem like a good happy match.

Plus like I said before on LS, I'm now more focused on self-improvement than ever before. I know now is not a time FOR ME to be seeking a serious relationship. I simply need to take care of a few important details first. Honestly, it feels good to be happily single AND NOT looking right now. I found that attitude has helped me with my interaction with the ladies (example: getting that attractive girl's email in the parking lot today)

Last 48 hours have been crazy and one big adrenaline rush! Sunday I'm chilling and crashing in! Well deserved, I'd say

March 26, 2012

Hey Rimer, good to see you making your way to this topic. How are things going for you since that girl topic you posted a week or so ago over at the Dating Forum?

Well guys, quick update. I had a slip-up. After 42 days clean of masturbation and pornography, I had a moment of weakness Saturday night. The 42-day streak was broken. I'm not sweating it or down on myself though. I'm getting back up, dusting myself off and moving on. It happened, no need to dwell on it, and press forward.

I ran 5 miles non-stop today... the 2nd Sunday in a row in which I have ran 5 miles. It feels gooooood. I can already feel my waist slimming down, and I still have yet to drink soda or eat a burger for about 4 weeks now.

Now I need to go update my teaching resume/portfolio. Take care!

I'm in limbo.. it feels like that.. I know I should get things started.. set my goals into small goals first.. If you didn't know I'm coming out of a 8½ year relationship which totally destroyed me. I'm taking anti-d and seeing professionals. I just don't understand why I keep thinking getting a new girlfriend is my top priority even tho it shouldn't be not even close because it wouldn't be healthy as I'm still a mess. I guess i'm just that co-dependent and not happy with who I am. I went to the gym once last week was supposed to go 3 times but once again on the weekend fri-sun was wasted ;( Now i'm broke too gotta dip into my savings to make ends meet because I drank all my money.. stupid me..

Great to hear your going in the right direction. Hopefully I'll jump on that train soon enough. I guess I'm still waiting for that magical fairy or something come save me and not do the work myself.

March 26, 2012

Rimer, on the bright side, you are aware. That's half the battle. Many people are hurting, but in serious denial. At least you're aware. That's a good start for a breakthrough.

I went to the gym once last week was supposed to go 3 times but once again on the weekend fri-sun was wasted ;(

No worries, I had the same experience. I felt a little lazy and didn't jog my 5 miles this weekend, nor did I work out twice as I usually do. Just decided to chill at home. The key is not to dwell on it and keep moving on. For example, I know next week I will be back in the working out/running game.

We all slip up. Key is not to stay down but to get right back up

Great to hear your going in the right direction. Hopefully I'll jump on that train soon enough.

I find it helps me when I tweak my mentality from less than positive to more positive. For example, instead of telling myself that I'm OFF the train hoping to get onto it... I consider myself ALREADY on the train, but sitting in the far back right now. But at least I'm ON it, and my goal is to push to the front.

You see? It's just a slightly different mentality that makes a huge difference IMHO. Try it out for yourself. So many times we try to chase "victory" (however victory looks to us) when we could benefit from thinking of ourselves as already victorious, but simply looking to achieve more.

I guess I'm still waiting for that magical fairy or something come save me and not do the work myself.

Love your honesty! I know what you mean, I tried that for the last like... 6 years of my life. I can tell you, the magical fairy never came.

Life is definitely what you make of it (perception, hard work, persistence) and you usually get out of it what you put in (hard work, again, and never giving up). As long as you keep working and keep hoping, you'll be fine. Just don't lay down permanently. Too many people are doing that mentally. It's like they've checked out on life. Don't let that happen to you. I'm rooting for you, man!

March 31, 2012

Another quick update. Today I subbed for 3rd grade and had quite a blast, even though some of the boys were very misbehaved. I had a chance to talk with the other 3rd grade teachers and connect with them a bit. I even invited a couple to my play... which by the way...

Tonight was OPENING NIGHT! I'm in a play that will be viewed by approximately 20,000 people when all is said and done. I'm having a blast being in this production (I always had a passion for acting; I even minored in Theatre Arts in college) and a lot of people are giving me rave feedback on my acting ability, which is humbling (and an honor) to hear!

My confidence is pretty high these days. After the play is over after next weekend, I will refocus my energies on looking for full time teaching positions to (hopefully) open up. Right now the play has me plenty busy.

So yeah, one of the keys to building momentum in your life is to just GET INVOLVED! Get around healthy people who can help SPEAK LIFE into you. Don't be isolated!

Remember, 50% of life is just showing up. How true, how true, that is.

How's everyone out there doing? I'd love to hear about your own progress made in 2012. Holler!

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