Sugarkane Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 So does that make you less of a person if you don't have one? What about if you have a cool job like a flight attendant? I'm sure alot of men are very attracted to flight attendants. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 It makes them a person with a preference or requirement. Nothing more, nothing less. It has nothing to do with you at all. We can't be everything to everyone. All we can be is ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 All we can be is ourselves. Being myself is stupid. I hate it with a passion! Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I'd be a little turned off by a flight attendant. OLD people all suck! There I said it. Obviously I'm kidding but seriously don't rely or take stock on what you see going on there. Probably a porn bot. Many of our richest self made people have no real degree's. It shouldn't be about a piece of paper or the name of some prestegious school. It's about living your life and learning and experiencing the things you want. Seriously though fck people who work at mcdonalds. Now the girls who work at chic fillet are often hot. Don't even get me started on some of the baristas at the cofee houses yum yum. (I don't drink coffee) Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) If you're asking why people have those requirements, it can be for a number of reasons. One of the most important things it does is make you more capable of being a significant contributor to shared income. Another thing it does usually doesn't make sense to people unless they've gone to a university themselves--it makes people generally more self-aware and well-rounded. Most university programs make people take significant numbers of elective credits, i.e. classes not related to their major. This frustrates a lot of people, but there's a very good reason it's done--it forces people to learn about a wider variety of subjects than they normally would. I majored in Computer Science myself, but I had so many available elective credit hours I took English as a minor. That made me SO much more well-rounded and improved my ability to write, communicate, and think broadly about a wider variety of subjects than I ever could before I went through it. Can someone be a balanced, well-rounded, intelligent thinker without a degree? ABSOLUTELY, no question about it. However, it's less likely. Depends on the individual. Those are the two reasons I usually limit myself to women with at least some higher education. Another thing it tends to show is that a person is more disciplined and able to achieve major life goals that take a significant amount of time to accomplish. Edited January 31, 2012 by EnigmaticClarity Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Can someone be a balanced, well-rounded, intelligent thinker without a degree? ABSOLUTELY, no question about it. However, it's less likely. Disagree. I've met a lot of people with degrees (even multiple ones) who are extremely dull conversationalists. I've also met people without college degrees who had amazing life stories to tell. If you think a person with a degree is more well-rounded an intelligent thinker, you obviously didn't read the "guys with good jobs and make money-hard time getting gf/dates-whyyy" thread. So many people in that thread were discussing how lame some people with degrees can be. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Disagree. I've met a lot of people with degrees (even multiple ones) who are extremely dull conversationalists. I've also met people without college degrees who had amazing life stories to tell. If you think a person with a degree is more well-rounded an intelligent thinker, you obviously didn't read the "guys with good jobs and make money-hard time getting gf/dates-whyyy" thread. So many people in that thread were discussing how lame some people with degrees can be. Don Draper was a whore child. He never went to college. Enigmatic is a hungry hipocrate. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Don Draper was a whore child. He never went to college. Enigmatic is a hungry hipocrate. Don Draper led a more interesting life than most guys with a college degree. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Disagree. I've met a lot of people with degrees (even multiple ones) who are extremely dull conversationalists. I've also met people without college degrees who had amazing life stories to tell. If you think a person with a degree is more well-rounded an intelligent thinker, you obviously didn't read the "guys with good jobs and make money-hard time getting gf/dates-whyyy" thread. So many people in that thread were discussing how lame some people with degrees can be. Degrees don't make people more likely to be pussies lacking in charm and self-confidence--there's enough of that type of person to go around with and without degrees. People often simultaneously place too much and too little importance on education--as is always true with extreme thinking guided by emotion, the reality is somewhere in between. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Don Draper led a more interesting life than most guys with a college degree. Degrees are always secondary to the primary desirable character/personality traits you look for in people--intelligence, creativity, drive, and confidence easily trump it. MANY people I admire dropped out of college or never went. Within the context of the thread topic of online dating, a well-written profile easily outshines a degree--yet they're quite rare from women who lack one. I can't remember seeing one yet, but I have no doubt they exist in significant numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 So does that make you less of a person if you don't have one? What about if you have a cool job like a flight attendant? I'm sure alot of men are very attracted to flight attendants. Yes it does. To some people. To others not. To me ... not. If you want a degree, go get one. If you don't, then don't... Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) Well-written OLD profiles are scarce, period, IME. When I was on OKC, in most cases I had to just hope the guys came across more interesting in conversation/in person. I could count on one hand the number of profiles I found interesting and well-written and this is after having met more than a dozen guys in person (and having talked with even more). From what I saw of women's profiles, they were no better. I had posted a thread here awhile back griping about this same issue, wondering why, if you're so well-educated and make a point of mentioning it on your OLD profile, you suck so much when it comes to making yourself seem interesting in writing and you can't follow even the most basic rules of grammar. Edited January 31, 2012 by tigressA Link to post Share on other sites
Jane2011 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 There is something about a degree that I just respect...a lot. I'm fully aware that there are tons of people without degrees who are very intellectual, versed in a variety of subjects, awesome at their jobs, and able to converse intelligently. Sometimes, they are even more intellectual than degree- holders. I have respect for them when that's the case. It's just that I'd have even more respect for them if they had a degree. It's perhaps irrational on my part, but I've always felt this way, even when I didn't have a degree myself. I'm not a person who went to college from ages 18 to 22 and did things right on track and had a subsequent snotty attitude about being a degree-holder looking down my nose at those who did not. I actually dropped out for a while, then went back to school several years later and finished my Bachelor's degree and then went on to do a Master's degree. In that interim in which I did not have a degree but was an adult, I still respected people who had degrees. I was down on myself for not having one. I don't think having a degree makes you intellectual necessarily. I think I just respect the discipline it takes to stay in school and finish. So many people make the argument that the non-degree holders have "life experience" and "street smarts" as if to say people with degrees don't have life experience or street smarts. That's kinda crazy. It's not as if those who go to college spend 24/7 on the campus of a university and don't also lead a regular life including family, jobs, travel, friendships, relationships, and general interaction with others. Those who have degrees have both a formal education and life experience. I think some degree-holders also just like the idea of having a mate who has also had a similar experience that they've had. Paid their dues for four yours (or more) in school. All that being said, I've liked many men who did not have degrees and wanted serious relationships with them. I don't really discriminate when it comes to who to be with. I just respect degree-holders regardless of the whole "who's more intellectual" issue. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I had posted a thread here awhile back griping about this same issue, wondering why, if you're so well-educated and make a point of mentioning it on your OLD profile, you suck so much when it comes to making yourself seem interesting in writing and you can't follow even the most basic rules of grammar. Most never got much education in the liberal arts. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) So does that make you less of a person if you don't have one? What about if you have a cool job like a flight attendant? I'm sure alot of men are very attracted to flight attendants. It does not matter to much but I've been attracted to those with degrees, especially math based ones like finance, statistics, engineering. I've met / had coffee with a flight attendant. My issue with flight attendants is their schedules. Plus having done the traveling job, most of the flight attendants are male. I guess I'm single because I'm a dull college degree card carrying member who can't grammar. BTW, my OLD profile had a few grammatical mistakes, one friend reviewed it and said it sucked. She helped me fix the grammer, put extra stuff, took better pictures, and I got more unsolicited responses. Edited January 31, 2012 by jerbear Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 It's funny. If I was doing OLD I would not put such a "requirement" on there. I remember when I had a profile some didn't like that I did not put grave detail in "what I want in a mate". I just felt I'd rather keep things open and just meet people. Just see if we click online and then in person. I'd rather just meet women and then weed out the bad ones. A degree doesn't mean anything. She could have a liberal arts degree and yet be serving hot wings at Hooters for a living while jumping from douchebag to douchebag. She could have her only real "goal" in life is to get married, crank out a few kids, and let a man take care of her. She could also be a high school graduate who ended up starting her own business and is doing well...or she could have networked her way into a sales position and is savvy enough to pull big money. I say one should judge a person by how they live their life...not on if they have a degree. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 So does that make you less of a person if you don't have one? What about if you have a cool job like a flight attendant? I'm sure alot of men are very attracted to flight attendants. The obvious answer is "of course it doesn't make you less of a person if you don't have one." It's also true. The more complicated answer is that A) people are always going to have their own preferences and while I wouldn't go so far to say anyone is "entitled" to that, there isn't anything necessarily wrong with having preferences either. That's what makes us all so different. And B) Sometimes people enjoy seperating themselves into classification groups so they can label themselves or others according to a standard or whatever they place an importance on. So that they can feel better then other people. There is a distinction between just having preferences and actually holding the mentality that certain successes or attributes make you a "better" person in terms of being "better" then other people. You're never going to get away from certain people holding on to that thought process. So what do you do? You do what you want to do in life, you treat others with grace, and you start not to care what other people think. Because at the end of it all, it's between you and your maker and no one else. And as long as you like who you are, the rest will follow. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 A degree doesn't mean anything. She could have a liberal arts degree and yet be serving hot wings at Hooters for a living while jumping from douchebag to douchebag. She could have her only real "goal" in life is to get married, crank out a few kids, and let a man take care of her. She could also be a high school graduate who ended up starting her own business and is doing well...or she could have networked her way into a sales position and is savvy enough to pull big money. I say one should judge a person by how they live their life...not on if they have a degree. Exactly. There are plenty of 'wife' degrees such as English or History. I think it's a class specification by the person that selected this restriction on their profile more than education related. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Don Draper led a more interesting life than most guys with a college degree. And he was a HORRIBLE relationship partner. Not the least bit emotionally aware. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 If I was doing OLD I would not put such a "requirement" on there. I didn't put it as a requirement when I did it either, but I used it as a filter while searching for women, I usually chose "some college" or "associate's". I don't recall ever not getting enough results back to need to go back and clear that filter. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Exactly. There are plenty of 'wife' degrees such as English or History. I think it's a class specification by the person that selected this restriction on their profile more than education related. Has nothing to do with class for me, it has to do with broadening the things you can talk and relate to a woman about and interests you can share. A woman with one of those "wife" degrees has at least been exposed to a broader range of topics than one without similar exposure. You can easily get that exposure in other ways--my girlfriend has a nursing Associate's and somehow has ended up with a deep interest in film and literature. Not sure how she did, but I suspect she got it from her parents who both have Master's or her mom's long-term boyfriend who is an English professor. You can absolutely be intelligent and well-versed in a wide variety of topics without advanced education, but the education makes it more likely a person has gained those broadened sensibilities. That's why I used it as a search filter--just made my chance of success higher in finding the mentality I'm looking for. It's one of those attributes I don't look for nearly as much in person but is absolutely simple to use as a limiting factor when using online sites. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 That's fair enough. I do think however that a lot of people filter out others not from an intellectual perspective but more from a socio-economic background one. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 That's fair enough. I do think however that a lot of people filter out others not from an intellectual perspective but more from a socio-economic background one. Oh I use it for economic reasons too--not class though. You are what you make yourself to be. Interestingly, I didn't initially see my current girlfriend on Match.com originally specifically because of my education filter. She left most of the searchable fields blank--I presume because it she didn't think it should matter--and if you leave those blank, you're not included in filters that are looking for specific criteria. I think I dated about 1.5 months before I saw her, and she was on there that whole time--I only saw her because she viewed my profile. She actually wrote in her profile description she had an Associate's and is a nurse, but she didn't pick it in the field that allows you to search on it. I suppose that might make me more shallowly presumptuous than she was hoping for--but eh, whaddya gonna do. Searching was just a time-saving thing for me, can't browse and consider everybody online. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Well-written OLD profiles are scarce, period, IME. When I was on OKC, in most cases I had to just hope the guys came across more interesting in conversation/in person. I could count on one hand the number of profiles I found interesting and well-written and this is after having met more than a dozen guys in person (and having talked with even more). From what I saw of women's profiles, they were no better. I agree completely. I'm a professional writer/editor, and while I don't expect or demand written perfection from anyone in my personal life, when I was OLD I was frequently extremely turned off by the poor written communication I was encountering. I was looking for someone intelligent, interesting, witty, well-spoken, a little eccentric, who could make me laugh and keep me engaged. He had to do that first through a typographical medium. Those qualities were out there, but they weren't exactly thick on the ground. And of course it was a smaller subset of those people that I could really click with. Most of the people I met who hit that sweet spot were formally educated with postgraduate degrees, but definitely not all of them. My now-husband turned out to be one of them. I met him on OKC about 6.5 years ago. His profile was straightforward but engaging, it didn't say anything about his work or his income. His first letter made me laugh. We spent a lot of time communicating through email and IM, he's actually pretty brilliant and he just fascinated me, we really riffed off each other. Turns out he's a high-level executive and engineer. He makes his own robots for fun, he makes his own wine. He wrote some books that were used in colleges to teach in his field. He doesn't have any degrees--in fact he dropped out of high school. Anyway, he's successful and smart and interesting. Obviously he's thrived despite having no degree. However both of us want our kids to go to college. So perhaps that says something. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 She could have her only real "goal" in life is to get married, crank out a few kids, and let a man take care of her. Most of us aren't going to be the next Steve Jobs. What is wrong with a woman just wanting to get married, have kids, and take care of her family? That's all my mom really wanted. She didn't care about having a career. She wanted to have her own children and family since she was a little girl. My father DID take care of her. But she took care of him too. And was a great mother. She did work part time, at times, while we were growing up. But she also was often home when we got off the bus, coached alot of our sport teams, and did a lot of things for us growing up. I see nothing wrong with a woman's goal in life being happily married, wanting kids and wanting her man to take care of her while she also takes care of her man and family. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts