Nicole11 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 So I've been seeing this great guy, nice, very attractive, etc., but one thing, there is a man I work with who has been asking me out, flirting with me etc, it drives my boyfriend kind of nuts. Boyfriend is Brad, Co worker is Brian. Brad really dislikes Brian cuz Brian always has to be loud and the center of attention, BUT I have to work with him, I'm NOT interested at all. Brads birthday was last Friday, I forgot, and never said Happy Birthday even. When I realized it, I called him right away and as I apologized? I called him Brian! He didn't say a thing for a minute, then said 'I have to go, Ill call you right back' - he did NOT call back! I think ive really hurt him and I didn't mean too! I really really like him, even love him, but I think I totally ruined it. He has voiced his opinion of Brian more than once, infect Brian has been a bone of contention between us for a while. What should I do? He answerd the phone, but is quiet and almost cool to me, we had plans for this weekend bur now he may 'have to work' ! Help! We live 130 miles away from each other so I don't see him during the week! What should I do? And NO I am NOT interested in Brian at all! Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 You done ****ed up...and ****ed up BAD. And long distance relationship to boot? I would mark this one in the loss column...but a lot depends on how long you've been together and what your history is like. Link to post Share on other sites
SeattleBabe Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 You're screwed, dear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole11 Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 I feel so awful! What can I say? Or do? I think I really took him for granted! He always answered my calls, loved being with me, and I lived being with him! Now? Hes nice, but does NOT answer all the time, infect I've called him 3 times today and nothing. I'm so angry with myself. I'm driving down there tonight. He is worth it, I have to try. Link to post Share on other sites
SeattleBabe Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I feel so awful! What can I say? Or do? I think I really took him for granted! He always answered my calls, loved being with me, and I lived being with him! Now? Hes nice, but does NOT answer all the time, infect I've called him 3 times today and nothing. I'm so angry with myself. I'm driving down there tonight. He is worth it, I have to try. Give it a time Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Time to grovel. . . . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I feel so awful! What can I say? Or do? I think I really took him for granted! He always answered my calls, loved being with me, and I lived being with him! Now? Hes nice, but does NOT answer all the time, infect I've called him 3 times today and nothing. I'm so angry with myself. I'm driving down there tonight. He is worth it, I have to try. Just make sure not to call him Brian while you're having make up sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Time to grovel. . . . Never underestimate groveling, and a really sweet blow job. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 So I've been seeing this great guy, nice, very attractive, etc., but one thing, there is a man I work with who has been asking me out, flirting with me etc, it drives my boyfriend kind of nuts. Boyfriend is Brad, Co worker is Brian. Brad really dislikes Brian cuz Brian always has to be loud and the center of attention, BUT I have to work with him, I'm NOT interested at all. Brads birthday was last Friday, I forgot, and never said Happy Birthday even. When I realized it, I called him right away and as I apologized? I called him Brian! He didn't say a thing for a minute, then said 'I have to go, Ill call you right back' - he did NOT call back! I think ive really hurt him and I didn't mean too! I really really like him, even love him, but I think I totally ruined it. He has voiced his opinion of Brian more than once, infect Brian has been a bone of contention between us for a while. What should I do? He answerd the phone, but is quiet and almost cool to me, we had plans for this weekend bur now he may 'have to work' ! Help! We live 130 miles away from each other so I don't see him during the week! What should I do? And NO I am NOT interested in Brian at all! Hate to say it you were really subconsciously thinking about your co-worker when you called him the wrong name. I think the relationship is over. Forgetting his birthday is crappy to begin with but to call him the name of someone he does not like. I say stick a fork in it this ones done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole11 Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 I feel so awful bad! Brian is a jerk, but I have to work with him, he calls me after hours, when Brad has attended work functions, Brian was a jerk to him. I feel like such an ass, Brad has been very loyal, very true and voiced his opinions about Brian and I reassured him many times I was not interested. But I don't think I was aware of how much Brian annoyed him. What do I say? Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Interesting, you realize "jerk" is a compliment. You called your bf his name and you forgot your boyfriend's birthday. It's all over but the crying. Have fun with Brian. If I was in a relationship with someone and I wanted to continue to be in that relationship, I would remove myself from surroundings that made my significant other uncomfortable. I don't buy your innocence for a hot minute 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole11 Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 I am serious! Brian is a rude, obnoxious moron who thinks he's really hot stuff- he's NOT! He is a pain in the ass, lazy, pathetic douche bag! I am not kidding here. I am not nor have I ever been interested in him! He is on my staff, is related to MY boss so I have no choice but to put up with him! Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I feel so awful bad! Brian is a jerk, but I have to work with him, he calls me after hours, when Brad has attended work functions, Brian was a jerk to him. I feel like such an ass, Brad has been very loyal, very true and voiced his opinions about Brian and I reassured him many times I was not interested. But I don't think I was aware of how much Brian annoyed him. What do I say? First things first. Stop lying to yourself because you enjoy the attention and validation Brian gives you. If Brad were so loyal you would not of forgot his birthday. Time to soul search. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Face Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Watch what you say about Brian, Nicole... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I am serious! Brian is a rude, obnoxious moron who thinks he's really hot stuff- he's NOT! He is a pain in the ass, lazy, pathetic douche bag! I am not kidding here. I am not nor have I ever been interested in him! He is on my staff, is related to MY boss so I have no choice but to put up with him! Your subconscious think Brian the jerk is really hot stuff too, you just really dont want to admit it to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 (edited) I am serious! Brian is a rude, obnoxious moron who thinks he's really hot stuff- he's NOT! He is a pain in the ass, lazy, pathetic douche bag! I am not kidding here. I am not nor have I ever been interested in him! He is on my staff, is related to MY boss so I have no choice but to put up with him! You know how many times, I've heard this bolded line...lol WOMEN! ACTIONS...words Get a new job? Change your number? Move? If you cant do these 3 simple things, you're just making excuses to keep yourself in your situation Edited September 12, 2012 by CptSaveAho Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole11 Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 Soul Search is right. I've hurt a very nice, kind man who treated me very very well. I took that for granted and now I may very well have lost a very loving relationship with a man I really care for very much. This is my fault for poo poohing the Brian issue. I am totally at fault here, totally. God I am a fool! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Soul Search is right. I've hurt a very nice, kind man who treated me very very well. I took that for granted and now I may very well have lost a very loving relationship with a man I really care for very much. This is my fault for poo poohing the Brian issue. I am totally at fault here, totally. God I am a fool! Don't start feeling guilty now, you will only end up hurting him more. You're not a fool. You were forcing yourself into something you didn't really want and your unconscious mind took care of it for you. You should go out with Brian for a while and see how it feels. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Have you ever told Brian "do not contact me for non-work reasons" "do not disrespect my boyfriend when you see him" ?? I don't blame your boyfriend for being insecure and pissed off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 No she has set no boundaries at all because her subconscious lusts for Brian while she lies to herself and poor Brad got the sh*t end of the stick ofr a girlfriend who forgot his birthday and called him the wrong name. I cant think of anything worse other then an act of cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Breakthewallsdown Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 While I am sure you killed his confidence and his spark for you at the same time it could be salvageable. You should just talk to him quickly make it up to him? Yes. As long as you realllyyyy trulyyyy dont lust for Brian that is. Because mcuh like another poster I am not convinced you are not because that was a pretty big flub. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 How can she make it up to him ? His birthday is in another year not to mention she called him another mans name, that she probably fancies. he should dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Its not salvagable, she committed emotional murder. He can lie to himself for the next 6 months and try to fake it but the game is over. She's on her way to GIGSy land.... time for the JERKS to start appearing Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 ooooops ! If you go overboard with apologising like it's a big deal then that makes it a big deal. Apologise like it's a small thing. "sorry honey I called you the wrong name. I know you hate that jerk, too. My bad." and leave it. You need to do something about forgetting his birthday, though. That was a BIG deal! Oops, again. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 This is my nightmare scenario. I met a man recently who has a nearly identical name to a platonic friend from my past whom I haven't seen in over a decade. I have almost slipped so many times. Play it safe and call everyone honey, sweetie or darling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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