It's time for an Update

[ladyabstrused]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/325107-ldrs-can-so-difficult

 

My old thread with my old story above.

 

Wow.

 

7th May was the first time I posted on here with that thread. 16 May was when I broke up with my ex. Now it's 22nd September. How time flies. Thought I'd give a little walk down memory lane. Haven't really checked out much on this forum since I've really been trying to move on and work things out by being outdoors more.

 

4 months plus since the break up. I'll say a lot has happened. Both negative and positive. It's true what a lot of people on here say, that it'll get easier as time goes by and that NC would really help in healing and moving on.

 

At first I never thought I could move on.. it was so hard. Took me about a month to actually get on full NC. Then things started to pick up as I steered my focus to other things in life that I've missed out over the last 4 to 5 years of my life. I though life was wonderful again.

 

I did some voluntary work, helped a lot of kids, tried to hear people out and be there for them with their issues not only on here but on other forums as well. Tried to do what makes me feel good, helping others out. Started going to the gym and started to make new friends. Started going out more and spending more time with my friends and family.

 

All those things that I was unable to do.. just to give all my time to my ex.

 

I've met so many wonderful people on here, who have replied without fail in that thread of mine and I'll always remember you guys.

 

I've come to the realisation of what an abusive relationship I was in and how I was so quick to lose my power just to please someone who just couldn't accept me for who I am or how I am. I've dealt with the abusive moments in this relationship and I think I'm moving on pretty well now.

 

I'll say this for sure, I've worked on so much healing over the past 4 months that I've also learned to embrace beautiful people on earth once again. I used to think that I could never love again because I always believe that there could only be one real love in a lifetime. Now it has left me wondering if it was real true love in my previous relationship. :\

 

Now quite recently, about 2 months ago or so, I've met someone who's been such a great help in my healing as well. I'll call him C. He's been so positive around me and he gives me such hope in life. Something about him makes me get really excited and happy, we connect so well, we like a lot of the same things, we think pretty similarly but not entirely that it clashes. I started off being very honest with him about my life and my past and he's been such a real gentleman about it. He says he likes me the way I am and wouldn't want me to change anything.

 

To be honest, I was starting off a little weary and protective of my own feelings and emotions in the beginning, I was not trusting much and was not going to be the way I was.. the stupid naive girl because I was starting to see things going the intimate way. We were friends first of course, over time of talking to each other pretty much daily for a couple of hours, feelings seem to have developed.

 

We've been very honest with each other and perhaps it may seem too soon for me to get into a relationship. I believe that I've really focused on healing and doing better that I do feel normal again now. I believe I've also passed the rebound stage as that was happening for a little while after the break up. I've moved past that stage now.

 

I never really did think about going into another LDR. It's difficult and some part of me is now worried that history will repeat itself but I know I cannot compare people because no one is the same. I think I'm taking things one step at a time, figuring out what I need to and I've decided to involve seeing him in my holiday plans. I've been planning to go somewhere in December just to get out there and live life. Never really knew where to go until I decided perhaps I could pay him a visit. I'm now set to go see him in November/December for about a month. He has confessed his feelings for me and this time I can actually sense it.. or feel it.

 

I have to admit, in a way, I feel like this trip is in a way to validate that if this is going good and things progress from then, that this isn't going to be some online relationship, some stupid LDR based on naivety or based on fantasies. This is going to have to be real if I'm going to go for it for sure. I'm not going to be in denial and I'm going to grow up about it and be truthful.

 

This is going to be exciting. It's like a total opposite of when I went to see my ex. This time round, C has asked me to stay over at his place so that's really something. I'll also be meeting his parents and possibly his relatives and friends. It'd be nice to go dating and just have fun. We'll see how it goes from there cos I don't really want to plan too far ahead anymore like what I used to do. Life changes anytime and plans get shattered so easily.

 

Counting down the days now. It gives me butterflies every time I talk to him now and it's been over 2 months and talking to C still makes me feel so happy. I'd like to try and be as positive as I can and not to dwell on negative "what ifs" so much, and yes, I did watch out for red flags and so far C has been really harmless. He's a sweetheart, I must say.

 

I do honestly think I'm in love. Even more than I ever thought I could. Life can be full of surprises. I'm going on a date! or more..

 

Cerridwen, there's my update.

:bunny:

 

Love to all of you Shackers. Have a great weekend ahead.