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What personal lessons have you learned?


barbossa

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Have you learned any lessons from your dating experiences?

 

that you learn not to repeat in future?

 

If so what are they?

 

or do you keep repeating the same mistakes?

 

share your wisdom

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When someone is into you, they meet you halfway. On everything. On date planning. On communication initiation.

 

If you find yourself doing the bulk of the work, well...

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I noted one marked difference dating after being married and divorced versus before, in that I tended to enjoy the moments more and not concern myself with the future or present feelings and/or actions being dependent on any particular desired outcome. More 'live in the now'.

 

Also, it became much easier to let go of emotional attachments and feel positive about that.

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BlueJeanTangerine

Life is short. I have learned to enjoy the moment in any regard. Dating...if it was fun, it was fun....no expectations. And NO repeating behaviors that are negative and harmful to myself.....again life is short...repeat the good stuff when possible.

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And life is too short to waste time with someone that is only lukewarm about you at best.

 

:love:

 

 

 

And never settle!

 

Learn to enjoy life a lot; without a partner. Because it's rare to fall head over heals in love with someone who feels the same way about you AND who's also compatible long term.

 

Basically: I don't believe in relationships. Unless the right person comes along. This rarely happens so most people continue dating people because they are attracted to them and they like their personality (yet there is no chemistry or spark there)

 

Most people go on a date, think the person is nice enough and think hmmmm, I may as well see them again. They are pretty cool.

 

Me? I have met only one or two men who I was instantly sparking with. I need to immediately feel consumed by them and have a special feeling about them in order to even date them.

 

 

 

I

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Similar to Eternal Sunshine's.....and Castle's

 

Life is too short to be with someone who you are always questioning if they love you/wait around until they finally do.

 

You are putting all this work into a relationship so that they can love you and they can't even meet you halfway? Nah. Never again.

 

At the first sign of a guy showing his lack of care or me questioning his feelings for me, I will stick to that.

 

When a person knows, they know. Takes a few months at the most.

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And... it doesn't take more than about 3 months to know if you're in love.

 

In love is vastly different to GROWING to love someone.

 

Everyone I know who are genuinely IN love, they know within a month or two.

 

I just know these things.

 

A guy knows right away if they are crazy into you. They can't get you off their mind. There is just something about you they cannot put their finger on. Even though you have had partners just as good looking, this particular person just gets you going.

 

I know if I'm super crazy about someone right away. It's a general feeling I get instantly.

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Similar to Eternal Sunshine's.....and Castle's

 

Life is too short to be with someone who you are always questioning if they love you/wait around until they finally do.

 

You are putting all this work into a relationship so that they can love you and they can't even meet you halfway? Nah. Never again.

 

At the first sign of a guy showing his lack of care or me questioning his feelings for me, I will stick to that.

 

When a person knows, they know. Takes a few months at the most.

 

I agreed. 1) When you in doubt in anyway relationship, is a bad sign. 2) Never force yourself or someone to be with you 3) Never expected anything in return so don't keep your hope up. 4) Expect the unexpected

5) If they don't meet you half way, it going no where. 6) Reltionship will be drama, if you cant deal with drama, move on. 7) Communication and honest is the key to a good relationship. 8) If you think you wasting your time, end it. 9) It take 2 person to make a relationship work NOT 1. 10) You can't everyone to like you, therefore breakup will happen.

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Follow your gut and don't downplay "red flags".

 

Be present, always. You have to like/love who they are now, not your hope of what they will be, or what the relationship will become.

 

Love yourself completely before dating anyone.

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Philosoraptor

That I'm completely irresistible to all females of the human species.

 

Also, the only way to find a good fit is to just be yourself and do what feels right. If someone doesn't like what you offer just being yourself, they were a bad fit and not worth your time or emotion. Overthinking will only cause self sabatoge.

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Ninjainpajamas

Never drink a vanilla milkshake before a date when you're lactose intolerant....specifically from Jack-in-the-box.

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Never drink a vanilla milkshake before a date when you're lactose intolerant....specifically from Jack-in-the-box.

 

hahahaha omg SO true.

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Eternal Sunshine

gross ninja :sick:

 

I have also learned that the timing of when you first have sex is much less important than most women think.

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Eternal Sunshine
When do most women want to have sex for the first time? If things seem like they are going well...

 

If the chemistry is strong, immediately :p

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Don't downplay reg flags.

 

Don't overreact to the first but if there is two or three more, eject. Ended it sooner than later is going to save you a lot pain and time you could have spent meeting someone else.

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While you watch what they do, listen to what they say...

Don't have sex too soon - clouds the judgement...

They should know how they feel about you within 3months - after that, it ain't happening.

 

Beyond all that, love yourself unconditionally, treat yourself with respect - that way, you'll know what real love feels like.

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TheBladeRunner
Never drink a vanilla milkshake before a date when you're lactose intolerant....specifically from Jack-in-the-box.

 

.......or eat a bean burrito at Taco Bell w/ extra sauce and onions.......just don't eat there period if you are going to be around anyone.:eek:

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