going back to daughter and ex?

[samantha0111]

I am in love with this man who is 34 years old. He is my friend. I am 24 years old. College student.

He is a father of a 6 year old beautiful girl but does not have custody of her.

The ex wife has sole custody. He is not a good person. He lies, is a player, has no feelings for his family and is hardcore womaniser. He flirts and sleeps with any pretty woman. He is extremely good looking and very wealthy.

 

I don't know why I love him but I love him a lot. I always think about him and my feelings are always with him.

Since 6 months he has been dating a woman who is 38, divorced with 3 kids.

 

He met her last year once. But in October he met her again and took her out to the gym. Later he had this one night stuff with her and they began their relationship.

 

This woman is evil. Ever since she has come, he has become more worse.

He drinks a lot, gets wasted, is rude to people and has even isolated and neglected his own child.

 

This woman and her family hate his daughter/ex wife and his admirers and even have marriage on their mind saying hes their future son in law/nephew.

 

The GF writes his name initials with his name on twitter. She tweets sexual teasing stuff about him.

And she glares at every pretty female who meets him. Only ugly girls are allowed to meet him.

 

He gives her expensive gifts, takes her and her kids out and on holidays and she brags all about on twitter.

She only talks about him and herself on twitter. Her entire twitter favorites is about both of them.

 

She has tanned skin and huge *** and boobs which she flaunts and this guy loves women with big *** and boobs who are exotic looking

She has no class and is rude to his fans and he has no issues with it.

 

Her cousin, aunt and niece are on twitter and brag about my friend all the time.

My friend and his new woman share the birthday on 1st April so that new woman makes an issue of it too.

 

I love him very much. I don't want him on the road to destruction.

5 months have passed since I decided to dump him and forget him.

I tried to distract myself by reading books, crushing on other men, or investing time on other things.

 

But none worked and even today, thinking about his ruin brings tears to my eyes.

 

7 years ago he overdosed on drugs when he was engaged to his ex wife. But this time he ll just die.

This new woman is isolating him from his family and friends and making him do all wrong things with her.

 

I love his family. I think his ex was really graceful and his baby girl needs him but he is being such a j**k . He spends time with her kids

 

How can I help him? Bring him back to his family and senses? Please suggest ways to help him. I really want him back to his family especially his only child who deserves his time.

Edited April 23, 2014 by samantha0111

[RonaldS]

We call this 'NYAOC'....not your area of concern.

 

Let it go and move on. You're not going to save him from himself, or bring their family back together or whatever silly fantasy notion you have going on in your head. Typically, when I'm standing in the street and I see a bus speeding toward me, I make sure I get the eff out of the way. You should do the same.

[Zahara]

How can I help him? Bring him back to his family and senses? Please suggest ways to help him. I really want him back to his family especially his only child who deserves his time.

 

You can't help him. People that want to be helped, FIRST need to recognize that they NEED change and that they WANT change.

 

How he deal with his child and his family is none of your business. You're not his ex-wife, and if she isn't up in arms about how he is treating his family, then you need to rid yourself of that responsibility. It is not your responsibility to make a grown man and father care for his family.

 

And you at 24 should focus on your school, your life and your future. You are not his wife, his mother, his caretaker, his guardian -- you are a young woman starting out in life that needs to first care for herself, her life, her family and her friends.

 

Stay out of his life. Stop digging for details. Stop stalking him.

[samantha0111]

We call this 'NYAOC'....not your area of concern.

 

Let it go and move on. You're not going to save him from himself, or bring their family back together or whatever silly fantasy notion you have going on in your head. Typically, when I'm standing in the street and I see a bus speeding toward me, I make sure I get the eff out of the way. You should do the same.

 

I did not ask if this is my area of concern or not. I need replies.

 

About

 

Whether he loves this new woman

And how to help him.

[samantha0111]

You can't help him. People that want to be helped, FIRST need to recognize that they NEED change and that they WANT change.

 

How he deal with his child and his family is none of your business. You're not his ex-wife, and if she isn't up in arms about how he is treating his family, then you need to rid yourself of that responsibility. It is not your responsibility to make a grown man and father care for his family.

 

And you at 24 should focus on your school, your life and your future. You are not his wife, his mother, his caretaker, his guardian -- you are a young woman starting out in life that needs to first care for herself, her life, her family and her friends.

 

Stay out of his life. Stop digging for details. Stop stalking him.

 

 

 

Did I ask if this is my concern or not?

 

This is my concern so if you cant give helpful answers plz dont

[Zahara]

Whether he loves this new woman

And how to help him.

 

Whether he loves this woman -- Maybe, possibly, yes, don't know. We don't know how he feels. Only he knows.

 

How to help him -- None of your business and you cannot help someone unless they want help and want to change.

[samantha0111]

Please give answers to my specific questions.

 

i dont want to know if its my concernn or not.

 

I need to help him because I love him. So kindly give answers to that. Not what I should do with my life

[Zahara]

Did I ask if this is my concern or not?

 

This is my concern so if you cant give helpful answers plz dont

 

 

That is the answer. There is no other answer. Do you get it?

 

You want to help because you want him back. You are jealous. You want to find a way to make him see how wonderful you are, how caring you are -- hopefully then he'll fall inlove with you all over again and forget this trashy woman. Check your motives. This isn't about his child. His child is his problem and his ex-wife's problem, not yours.

[Emilia]

We call this 'NYAOC'....not your area of concern.

Agreed.

 

Stop sticking your nose in other people's business OP. He is an adult and MUCH older than you. Let him make his mistakes, it's not like he takes you seriously anyway.

 

Do yourself a favour and move on.

[RonaldS]

I did not ask if this is my area of concern or not. I need replies.

 

About

 

Whether he loves this new woman

And how to help him.

 

Alright, Mother Theresa....go ahead and try to save him. Good luck. I'm sure it will work out fabulously for you. No potential for things to go wrong for you here. He will surely thank you for your efforts and advocacy with undying, eternal love and gratitude. I can just feel it. Someday, we will all be watching an Oscar winning movie about your story.

 

Meanwhile, back in the real world.....

 

This guy doesn't give an eff about anybody, especially you. Why you would care, and more than that, why you would want to throw yourself into this mess is WAAAAAAY beyond my comprehension. You're not even going to wait for the train to finish crashing and come to a stop to jump onto it and start trying to save the victims. The net result of that action will be you ALSO becoming a victim.

[samantha0111]

Do a favor and stop ruining this post. take your high and mighty advice somewhere else. I didn't ask for all these opinions and judgements on my character.

 

I wont keep this post. No answers only character judgement.

[d0nnivain]

How can I help him? Bring him back to his family and senses? Please suggest ways to help him. I really want him back to his family especially his only child who deserves his time.

 

Ahhhhh the idealism of youth. {smacks head on desk}

 

You can't help him. He has to want to help himself. He doesn't want to change. He's having too much fun.

 

If you are serious, get your degree, go to medical school, specialize in psychiatry & after you graduate see if he'd like to become your patient. Another option for you: go to Divinity School or become a nun & pray for divine intervention.

[Emilia]

Do a favor and stop ruining this post. take your high and mighty advice somewhere else. I didn't ask for all these opinions and judgements on my character.

 

I wont keep this post. No answers only character judgement.

You mean thread?

 

You are getting the answers, albeit ones you don't like.

[samantha0111]

You mean thread?

 

You are getting the answers, albeit ones you don't like.

 

what are you people? Why are you still answering the post? Do you like to bully or judge people for entertainment because you are bored?

 

I said if you cant give straight answers, dont answer it.

[Zahara]

what are you people? Why are you still answering the post? Do you like to bully or judge people for entertainment because you are bored?

 

I said if you cant give straight answers, dont answer it.

 

No were are trying to knock some sense into your very naive and immature mind.

 

You're upset because no one is giving you the answers that you want to hear. You want us to support you and tell you how to sacrifice yourself for a man. No one is going to give you advice to do that.

 

You were given straight answers. You just don't like the answers, even if they are your reality.

[samantha0111]

No were are trying to knock some sense into your very naive and immature mind.

 

You're upset because no one is giving you the answers that you want to hear. You want us to support you and tell you how to sacrifice yourself for a man. No one is going to give you advice to do that.

 

You were given straight answers. You just don't like the answers, even if they are your reality.

 

I want to sacrifice myself. What's wrong with it? And no, you didnt give straight answers. You went on character analysis and preaching which I didn't ask in my thread.

If I asked how I should move on, I would have understood your replies. But when I didnt ask those questions, its not right to take the thread off topic.

[samantha0111]

And thinking about someone's welfare isn't immaturity.

[Emilia]

I want to sacrifice myself. What's wrong with it? And no, you didnt give straight answers. You went on character analysis and preaching which I didn't ask in my thread.

If I asked how I should move on, I would have understood your replies. But when I didnt ask those questions, its not right to take the thread off topic.

You can't sacrifice yourself. It doesn't work because the other person doesn't care.

[samantha0111]

You can't sacrifice yourself. It doesn't work because the other person doesn't care.

 

He doesn't but I do. How can you just leave someone whom you love destroy themselves?

 

Anyway this thread is finally off topic. There is no use of replying. I asked a question but got no replies related to my questions, only preaching and judgement. Please leave this.

[Emilia]

He doesn't but I do. How can you just leave someone whom you love destroy themselves?

Because what you are looking to do is controlling the other person. Who do you think you are to decide what is good for someone else? Who are you to decide how another person should lead their lives? Everyone has their paths, everyone makes their mistakes.

 

Anyway this thread is finally off topic. There is no use of replying. I asked a question but got no replies related to my questions, only preaching and judgement. Please leave this.

Sorry, public forum.

[Chocolat]

I am in love with this man who is 34 years old. He is my friend. I am 24 years old. College student.

He is a father of a 6 year old beautiful girl but does not have custody of her.

The ex wife has sole custody. He is not a good person. He lies, is a player, has no feelings for his family and is hardcore womaniser. He flirts and sleeps with any pretty woman. He is extremely good looking and very wealthy.

 

I don't know why I love him but I love him a lot. I always think about him and my feelings are always with him.

Since 6 months he has been dating a woman who is 38, divorced with 3 kids.

 

He met her last year once. But in October he met her again and took her out to the gym. Later he had this one night stuff with her and they began their relationship.

 

This woman is evil. Ever since she has come, he has become more worse.

He drinks a lot, gets wasted, is rude to people and has even isolated and neglected his own child.

 

This woman and her family hate his daughter/ex wife and his admirers and even have marriage on their mind saying hes their future son in law/nephew.

 

The GF writes his name initials with his name on twitter. She tweets sexual teasing stuff about him.

And she glares at every pretty female who meets him. Only ugly girls are allowed to meet him.

 

He gives her expensive gifts, takes her and her kids out and on holidays and she brags all about on twitter.

She only talks about him and herself on twitter. Her entire twitter favorites is about both of them.

 

She has tanned skin and huge *** and boobs which she flaunts and this guy loves women with big *** and boobs who are exotic looking

She has no class and is rude to his fans and he has no issues with it.

 

Her cousin, aunt and niece are on twitter and brag about my friend all the time.

My friend and his new woman share the birthday on 1st April so that new woman makes an issue of it too.

 

I love him very much. I don't want him on the road to destruction.

5 months have passed since I decided to dump him and forget him.

I tried to distract myself by reading books, crushing on other men, or investing time on other things.

 

But none worked and even today, thinking about his ruin brings tears to my eyes.

 

7 years ago he overdosed on drugs when he was engaged to his ex wife. But this time he ll just die.

This new woman is isolating him from his family and friends and making him do all wrong things with her.

 

I love his family. I think his ex was really graceful and his baby girl needs him but he is being such a j**k . He spends time with her kids

 

How can I help him? Bring him back to his family and senses? Please suggest ways to help him. I really want him back to his family especially his only child who deserves his time.

 

 

The reason people are telling you it is not your concern is because that is the truth.

 

You're in love with this guy and, as a result, choose to overlook that he is a grown man who is making his own choices.

 

Who he's with is his choice. You may not like this woman, but he certainly seems to.

 

But, if you want a fantasy answer, here it is. Call him up and express to him what you've said here. I am betting 1,000,000:1 that he ignores you but, if I'm wrong, you can try to sway him to your POV.

 

Good luck.

[samantha0111]

Because what you are looking to do is controlling the other person. Who do you think you are to decide what is good for someone else? Who are you to decide how another person should lead their lives? Everyone has their paths, everyone makes their mistakes.

 

 

Sorry, public forum.

 

Wow. So a person does drugs, let them bc I am.nobody to decide.

Cool.

 

Yeah because you are bored and want to humiliate someone.

[RonaldS]

And thinking about someone's welfare isn't immaturity.

 

It is when that person doesn't give two sh*ts about your existence.

 

Everybody here is just trying to help you avoid the inevitable painful, destructive outcome that you are setting yourself up for. You can get pissed now, but if you move away from this and do things in your life that will actually be rewarding, fulfilling and equitable in your life, you will come back to LS in a few years and thank us.

 

However, at this point, you're on the Jerry Springer Show plan. If you want that, then fine. We look forward to watching you and some other skagg flopping around on the stage yanking each other's hair while your Knight in Shining Armor ambivalently sits in his chair trying to look cool with his sleeveless t-shirt and tats. Can't wait.

 

A lifetime of bliss awaits you.

[Zahara]

I want to sacrifice myself. What's wrong with it? And no, you didnt give straight answers. You went on character analysis and preaching which I didn't ask in my thread.

If I asked how I should move on, I would have understood your replies. But when I didnt ask those questions, its not right to take the thread off topic.

 

What's wrong in sacrificing yourself? There's everything wrong with it because that is a clear indication that you do not have any value in yourself. And sacrificing yourself for a man that doesn't give a shytt about you? What would you tell your daughter if today she came to you and said she wants to sacrifice herself for a man that doesn't care about her? Would you tell her, "Yes honey, die if you have to if that saves a man that probably won't even flinch if he saw you breathing your last breath."

 

I gave you straight answers:

 

1) I said you cannot change someone if they don't want to change. It only happens when they recognize they need change and then want to change.

 

2) You asked if he loved you. I said we cannot tell as only he has that answer.

 

3) You asked how to help him. See #1.

[samantha0111]

DID I ASK IF ITS MY CONCERN OR NOT? NO. Then why are you answering the same thing?

 

If you have nothing helpful to say, ignore the thread thinking I am.naive and silly.