Are girls on dating sites really picky on looks?

[Armegoggon]

I see that I message them most of the time without a single reply. Yeah that takes away my chance of talking to them so I don't see what's wrong.

 

But now I figure that are girls really too much about looks when it comes to giving guys at least ONE chance to talk to them? I even messaged a lot of girls who looked just as bad as me but those didn't respond. Not even the nerd type girls.

 

Oh yeah, the girls that have committed to replying my message at least once, only 1 of them stopped replying after a 2nd message by me. That means that I was able to generate a good conversation. So that shows a little bit of personality right? Well, apparently, I have to admit, they are all better looking than me. However, they all deleted their accounts or probably found a date before I could even meet them.

 

I am planning for a friendly meeting at 3PM with the most recent girl I've talked to.

[mummyjonno]

I see that I message them most of the time without a single reply. Yeah that takes away my chance of talking to them so I don't see what's wrong.

 

But now I figure that are girls really too much about looks when it comes to giving guys at least ONE chance to talk to them? I even messaged a lot of girls who looked just as bad as me but those didn't respond. Not even the nerd type girls.

 

Oh yeah, the girls that have committed to replying my message at least once, only 1 of them stopped replying after a 2nd message by me. That means that I was able to generate a good conversation. So that shows a little bit of personality right? Well, apparently, I have to admit, they are all better looking than me. However, they all deleted their accounts or probably found a date before I could even meet them.

 

I am planning for a friendly meeting at 3PM with the most recent girl I've talked to.

 

 

 

Actually women go on looks, if you pass the "I fancy you" stage they will move on and read your profile. Pass that too she will reply.

 

I find that men are more into looks specifically (well they are visual) and don't even bother to read what you've written about yourself.

 

The amount of times I've heard, what do you do, how old are you, do you have kids?

 

It's all in my profile already

[Armegoggon]

Actually women go on looks, if you pass the "I fancy you" stage they will move on and read your profile. Pass that too she will reply.

 

I find that men are more into looks specifically (well they are visual) and don't even bother to read what you've written about yourself.

 

The amount of times I've heard, what do you do, how old are you, do you have kids?

 

It's all in my profile already

 

I use Badoo sometimes because it has an anonymous chat where you don't see the pictures.

 

I always think that the messaging part is something wrong but maybe I'm starting to think I don't look good. The big problem is I don't know how to look better.

 

Usually the messages I say address what we like in common and ask specifically about our interests if they're too broad.

[LustAppeal]

The dreaded online dating mysteries... I was in the same boat as you through early highschool. Joined teen sites like nexopia, tagged, piczo, my yearbook, and more with the hopes of finding a girlfriend.

One thing I realized and most men do not come to terms with is the fact that these girls receive message after message after message, all of guys trying to get her number, nudes, a date, or just being flirty.

So After getting through all these messages it really boils down to first impressions... And by first impressions I mean looks, style, and ultimately your profile picture or the picture that appears in your message.

 

Once you're presented to her as attractive she'll either go through the rest of your pics, or message you back.

 

Now comes the hardest part. First impressions through messaging. this is where knowing when to escalate the conversation, story telling, and message attraction/initial comparability comes into play. It's the step before the skype, text, or phonecall. But that's a whole other topic, there are so many guys going online looking for a hookup, most of these attractive "I want a relationship" girls have no clue what men to go for.

 

So how do you present yourself within a profile picture?

First off, take all the pictures of your abs, your car, you holding money, and throwing up gang signs... And Burn them!!! If you want an ab shot, go to the beach with some friends and present it in a non mirror selfie kind of way.

 

Show that you're a social fun to be around kinda guy, if you take a group photo with a bunch of your male friends dressed well and having a good time, she may be like "Oh I wonder which one's him, and check out your other pics.

AND stop hitting up the cute selfie only, mass cleavage showing girls.

 

I know that's allot of info and it kinda jumps all over the place, but online dating jumps back and forth like a damn ball covered in flubber.

I would love to hear more from the female side of things!

 

 

EDIT: Note: I wrote this while you posted your previous reply^

Edited May 4, 2014 by LustAppeal

[d0nnivain]

With OLD visual is a large part because there isn't a whole lot else to go on.

 

You said you don't know how to look better. Have you consulted any professionals? Spring for an expensive salon to get your next hair cut & get a full blown consultation. Check out fashion on line & in magazines. You don't to buy those high end expensive clothes but your clothes should fit your body type & be tailored to fit you. Nobody really has an off the rack body. A few little tweeks can improve a jacket immensely.

[GemmaUK]

Many women don't reply on OLD as a polite 'no thanks and good luck' can cause a nasty reply in return.

 

No reply is a no thank you.

 

Women, just the same as men tend to date people they are attracted to whether they meet them online or offline.

[mummyjonno]

I use Badoo sometimes because it has an anonymous chat where you don't see the pictures.

 

I always think that the messaging part is something wrong but maybe I'm starting to think I don't look good. The big problem is I don't know how to look better.

 

Usually the messages I say address what we like in common and ask specifically about our interests if they're too broad.

 

Well I don't see anything wrong with your message topic. Including something she's written in her profile is a good thing.

 

Maybe take some new pictures and tweek your profile?

[bu2002]

1) Online dating takes on the form of a personal shopping mentality. Because you have so many choices, it's easy to bypass something because you think the next click will be better

 

2) Online dating takes out the romance of meeting someone and that is something many woman miss out on. In order to compensate, they're going to be damn sure the guy they respond to could be Prince Charming

 

3) Woman are receiving more attention in an OLD site that they ordinarily wouldn't receive in real life. So juggling that might be challenging. So what happens is due to volume, they have to pass on guys they would normally chat with if they met them in real life first.

 

4) It's about your photos so focus on what women want to see. Have one clear head shot, one clear full body shot, at least one picture of you in a social setting, one picture involving a hobby of yours, a picture with a sister/mother (make sure it's captioned) also conveys something about you. But basically each picture should be have a different purpose. Also, try and get most of them to be outdoor pics. The difference in lighting is huge and it looks online.

[LustAppeal]

Yea if you really have no clue where to start I would recommend you look up an image consultant. there are some great ones you can find on youtube alone.

[ponchsox]

Post a good picture, not something that looks like it was taken in a basement. Show pictures in the outdoors doing something fun. If they don't respond, they aren't interested in meeting you. Move on and find someone who is.

[SadNLonley]

I have to say i think men are more picky!

 

I also think there needs to be some kind of attraction physically when online. You dont know a personality so you go off looks. Not that Im looking for Brad Pitt (although if i saw him online, id stalk him!lol) but I do have certain qualities i like.

[SadNLonley]

Sorry, me again. I think its hilarious that most men and i mean 90% of the men i look at online are looking for a gal that is "athletic and toned". HA, at my age there are some, but when you hit your 40's its not all toned. I have curves in all the right places and consider myself "average" thats not good enough for some of these guys.

[mummyjonno]

Sorry, me again. I think its hilarious that most men and i mean 90% of the men i look at online are looking for a gal that is "athletic and toned". HA, at my age there are some, but when you hit your 40's its not all toned. I have curves in all the right places and consider myself "average" thats not good enough for some of these guys.

 

 

:lmao: if that's the case then I'm screwed at 26 haha

[dispatch3d]

yeah girls on dating sites get absolutely bombarded with messages from guys. That's probably what you are running into. I made a fake profile on pof to get an idea of how bad it is, and you are talking over 20 messages per day.

[babycakees]

Not so much looks for me, but they have to be somewhat attractive. It's more so what they say when they message me more than anything else.

[SadNLonley]

yeah girls on dating sites get absolutely bombarded with messages from guys. That's probably what you are running into. I made a fake profile on pof to get an idea of how bad it is, and you are talking over 20 messages per day.

 

 

OMG. that is so not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats what bothers me. I wish i could post a pic here to show you how I look. I get maybe 1 a day and thats it. I literally think the girls getting all those messages are scale 15 or are ugly and have a body to die for (no offense girls). Its that comment that crushes my ego to the point of wanting to cancel my membership.

[SadNLonley]

:lmao: if that's the case then I'm screwed at 26 haha

 

 

Have you looked online to see what these guys say? its ridiculous. Slender, athletic & toned. Almost all

[mummyjonno]

Have you looked online to see what these guys say? its ridiculous. Slender, athletic & toned. Almost all

 

 

I have and if your profile states a few extra pounds, which quite frankly could be in your boobs or butt they give you a wide birth.

 

Too many naked glamour models these days. They expect that is the norm and it's so far from the truth.

 

They shall grow old and lonesome someday

[mummyjonno]

OMG. that is so not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats what bothers me. I wish i could post a pic here to show you how I look. I get maybe 1 a day and thats it. I literally think the girls getting all those messages are scale 15 or are ugly and have a body to die for (no offense girls). Its that comment that crushes my ego to the point of wanting to cancel my membership.

 

 

So true. Once read a poll that said 80% of men would rather date a woman with an athletic toned body and an ugly face (we call those butterfaces in the uk as in everything is hot but her face) rather than date a stunning woman whose figure is not so perfect.

[SadNLonley]

That is a discussion for a whole different thread.

 

Yes it sure is

[Valen]

So true. Once read a poll that said 80% of men would rather date a woman with an athletic toned body and an ugly face (we call those butterfaces in the uk as in everything is hot but her face) rather than date a stunning woman whose figure is not so perfect.

 

I guess I belong in the 20%. I think the face is the most important feature of a person. That's what you would look at most of the time, I love eyes especially. The body is secondary because it can change with exercise and healthy eating. For me personally, I prefer a little meat and baby fat on a girl. Girls should be curvy not bony.

[SadNLonley]

So true. Once read a poll that said 80% of men would rather date a woman with an athletic toned body and an ugly face (we call those butterfaces in the uk as in everything is hot but her face) rather than date a stunning woman whose figure is not so perfect.

 

 

I asked the guys at my work if they would rather date someone with a great body or face. Most said body. Really??????

 

You do know that body can go to sh** right? UGH so frustrating for a female whos body will never be considered slender even if i tried to starve myself. I have curves. its in my jeans (literally). I dont consider myself overweight, but for some guys i guess im considered that.

[mummyjonno]

I guess I belong in the 20%. I think the face is the most important feature of a person. That's what you would look at most of the time, I love eyes especially. The body is secondary because it can change with exercise and healthy eating. For me personally, I prefer a little meat and baby fat on a girl. Girls should be curvy not bony.

 

 

That and a man or woman can change their body with fair ease... Can't really alter your face unless you go under the knife

[jonsnuh]

Just what I've noticed from these past few weeks being on OLD.

You would need a face shot at least.

 

I have read a few that give good advice:

1. Have an action shot.

2. Emphasize what looks good on you. Don't use those deceptive shots that myspace folk use.

3. It sounds like catfish material, but exaggerating a bit isn't necessarily being deceptive-- average or a few extra pounds and even height is usually subjective and there are margins for error. Do not sell yourself short.

 

Personally, I write something thoughtful because I'm not shallow by nature. But sometimes it's required to hook someone, like on tinder. Problem is, if they're that shallow, one might not succeed with talk. Best would be to do everything in person.

[jonsnuh]

That and a man or woman can change their body with fair ease... Can't really alter your face unless you go under the knife

 

One thing noticed from taking photography is that a lighting and angles are key. I've noticed from shooting women portraits is that they usually look chubbier. Makeup, the camera you use, the time of day and the content does wonders when it comes to exuding attraction.

 

It is possible to lose some overall fat, which may shrink the cheeks a bit in the face.

 

Don't rely on cameraphones-- a casual DSLR set of photos will do wonders with first impressions.