Online Dating - Did/Does it work for you????

[SadNLonley]

How has online dating gone for you? Here's a poll.

Edited June 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Create poll and edit title for clarity

[scooby-philly]

Short answer:

 

Somewhere between It was ok and I did well.

 

 

Long Answer:

 

(I'm a guy). I've been using OLD sites for about 8 months now. I've hit it off with 3 women well enough to get to 2 or 3 dates - one got to 12. But, as you can tell from my answer, none of them have turned into anything long term.

 

I didn't date a lot as a teen/young adult. I was in a relationship and we were engaged, but called it off last year. Since then, I've found the dating process a bit wearisome. I don't mind doing the dance per se. It's just tough because 1. It's hard to judge personality and chemistry over the phone and through email/text. 2. I sometimes find myself attracted to people who really aren't my type personality wise, but that's ok - it's all part of the learning process. 3. Lots of people are on the sites, even the paid ones, for the wrong reasons - i.e. they're just out of a relationship and think they're ready for one but they're not, or they really just want something casual and the other person doesn't respect that or doesn't "get it" in the sense that they may say they understand, but they're not really comfortable with their feelings.

 

I know that to be true in my case. The woman I went out with for over a dozen dates - I was looking/am looking for something serious - and while I'm not looking to settle or to rush into things, I do want that for myself and she didn't want that right now but I couldn't bring myself at first to accept it.

 

But, to make a long story short - OLD is a tool. No different than a bar, friends, a meetup group, etc. It's another weapon in the arsenal.

[avoforastig]

How has online dating gone for you? Here's a poll.

 

You can certainly get dates but don't expect the type of relationship conversion that occurs from meeting in person. A person you meet in a place of common interest just has a much higher chance of being compatible, such as a mutual friend's party. There is just a higher level of built in confidence in the person, which can help with any early questionable character traits.

[d0nnivain]

I only did it for a short time -- 90 days.

 

 

I found it . . . it's hard to describe.

 

 

I was on E-harmony. I liked the fact that it was expensive & the questionnaire was a p.i.t.a. to complete. I thought that helped weed out people who wasn't serious. I figure I could get a ONS in any bar what did I need an OLD for that. The idea of having my profile available to anyone who wanted to casually skim some free site, freaked me out.

 

 

Enough of the matches were good "on paper". The gentlemen seemed well educated & what I was looking for.

 

 

I found it somewhat hurtful. I didn't understand why I would message people & they didn't respond even to say no thank you. I had no understanding of OLD at the time & it was in it's infancy. Now I think probably some of the men I reached out for were no longer active paid members. After my membership lapsed, I got e-mails for about 6 months telling me I had messages & matches if I would just rejoin.

 

 

I can't shop on line -- not even to buy socks or electronics or other fungible items so I don't know why I thought I could "date" on line.

 

 

Having learned more about the process, I'd say it's a mixed bag. Like anything else, it's a tool. I think it works better in cities where it's easier to arrange a quick meet. In the rural area where I am I had to open my geography to 50 miles so a quick meet was a minimum of 2.5 hour investment & that was basically a drive by bracketed by 1 hour each way in the car.

 

 

I didn't meet the love of my life. We were on different sites & outside of each other's specifications.

[Dallers]

Been on POF for 2 months. Spoke to only very few nice girls those of which just show their true colours after a while and you can actually think how scary it would have been if you ended up with them.

 

Been on a couple of dates and one nice girl that fizzled out. Overall it is a 100-1 ratio game.

 

It is simple really, you ask yourself why you are single? For me it is because I love being independent, I love my free space and do not just go for anyone after all the heartache I have had over my past few relationships and I do not want to hurt someone because of me being a fussy so and so.

 

The majority of the people on OLD are single for a good reason entirely. Remember that. Do not read a book by it's cover you need to go through at least 100 bad ones to find a good one. More Men probably than women speaking as a man.

[Kid_Charlemange]

In 2004, I met my next wife on eHarmony. We were married in 2008. She passed a way a couple years later.

 

Since then, I haven't met the next Mrs., but I've been on seven dates (six from OKC, one from Match). I work like a dog, so my free time is fairly precious. I used the OLD sites as a tool, but not as an exclusive one. I still talk to women IRL when I run into them. However, at my age, most of them are married with kids or even grandchildren!

[jay1983]

Deleted my profile, over 20 women rated me hot and I only met 6, all bogus and that's excluding the over weight. Add the big girls and over 50 women rated me hot. Too many women use it just for attention and to boost their ego. Other average looking women looking for mister super fine. Big waste of time.

[somedude81]

Yay a poll. Though it may be a bit inaccurate because it doesn't separate men and women.

 

I have profiles on OKC, POF and I have even tried Tinder.

 

No woman has ever replied to a message I sent nor has a woman ever sent me a message.

 

My profile isn't great but I do have clear pictures up and enough information.

[Dallers]

Yay a poll. Though it may be a bit inaccurate because it doesn't separate men and women.

 

I have profiles on OKC, POF and I have even tried Tinder.

 

No woman has ever replied to a message I sent nor has a woman ever sent me a message.

 

My profile isn't great but I do have clear pictures up and enough information.

 

Seriously?! I cannot believe that. Honestly from a bro if you want me to take a look at your profile and give you some man to man I am happy to help. PM me your POF account. I am only an average Joe but I get plenty of attention and I am no expert.

Edited June 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[SadNLonley]

I can't shop on line -- not even to buy socks or electronics or other fungible items so I don't know why I thought I could "date" on line.

 

 

I love this. Thats what it feels like actually. Shopping, ordering, and at delivery you realize how cheap and crappy it is. lol.

[William]

Yay a poll. Though it may be a bit inaccurate because it doesn't separate men and women.

 

LoveShack is a unified forum so all members are polled equally. However, should you wish to create a polling functionality which can differentiate the gender of any given anonymous person on the internet with any degree of certainty, web hosts are available very inexpensively to create such a poll.

 

 

Also, as a general advisory, comments in the thread are to remain relevant to the topic. Chatting can be accomplished via our private messaging function.

 

 

Thanks for participating!

Edited June 18, 2014 by William

[irc333]

I'm lucky if I can get a woman to meet me in PERSON 2 times a year. lol

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Worked for me. Found a great guy and we're moving in together in just a couple days. The process wasn't easy and there were quite a few disappointments along the way, but it was fun and I met some nice and interesting people too. They just weren't for me.

 

I honestly think its a great deal tougher on the guys because its a lot more work just getting conversation initiated with women online. I'm quite analytical, so I would browse women's profiles just as much as guys and I'd see women with laundry lists of unrealistic standards or negatives that were off putting. Its easy to get an ego as a woman online because of the number of messages we get, but I think that those that let it go to their head are the ones that never really find what they're looking for.

[kart180]

Had the OKC account since May 2013 but no message nothing. Its hard for me to date with being quite selective i.e gotta be straight edge or at least not part take in anything bad for your health. I deleted my OKC account and then setup another one just as a social experiment to see what happens

[Potz4prez]

lol I'm the only neutral vote?

 

Online dating is like IRL dating for me. Easy to get a date... never seem to follow through.

 

edit:

 

Had the OKC account since May 2013 but no message nothing. Its hard for me to date with being quite selective i.e gotta be straight edge or at least not part take in anything bad for your health. I deleted my OKC account and then setup another one just as a social experiment to see what happens

 

What's wrong with enjoying your time on earth?

[kart180]

lol I'm the only neutral vote?

 

Online dating is like IRL dating for me. Easy to get a date... never seem to follow through.

 

What's wrong with enjoying your time on earth?

Yes, that what happens to me in IRL, go to a bar, get a drink and no nothing, no how do you do nothing.

 

True, but I just hate living as I feel a disappointment as a man since I cant hang on to the relationships

[Elle1975]

So far, no. Can't say it has. I'm not obsessed with it though. I check it every couple days. I see it more as a back up rather than as the main way to meet people.

 

Actually the only reason I'm doing it right now is because it's paid for. I think it runs out in a couple weeks. I won't renew.

 

Oh and the main reason why I don't like it? People lie. I met a guy on a date and oh miracle, he looked ten years older. Why lie? My pics are from a couple months ago.

[kart180]

Yes, that what happens to me in IRL, go to a bar, get a drink and no nothing, no how do you do nothing.

 

True, but I just hate living as I feel a disappointment as a man since I cant hang on to the relationships

I meant to say, if I go to the bar and get a drink IRL, I just cant do anything I sit there drinking and expect for someone to say a friendly hello as I have the British mentality of women approach me but I know in the states, dating is a different cup of tea

[todreaminblue]

i get disinterested quite quickly

[Teraskas]

Went with the 'Few dates and overall frustrating experience' choice.

Had about 6 dates total (from OLD) spread over 2 sites: OKC and Meetic. (Or Match in English, dunno why of all things a name change for Belgium tbh.)

 

Those 6 all either had bs excuses or weren't really interested in putting effort in their search:

- The first one just got out of a relationship a few months ago and only informed me of this on the first date, despite me asking about this but ended up being reluctant to say it prior to the date.

- The second was the 'no spark' type who had a way too busy life to even TRY to fit a boyfriend into it.

- The third dropped off the face off the earth and cut all contact, including the ones who don't even show up on the actual date, nor return phonecalls and messages ?

- The fourth never showed up on the first date, called her, she didn't pick up.

She only responded in text with 'Crap, I forgot.' She never showed, and deleted me from FB, rofl.

- The fifth was initially keen and requested contact outside of the site, thus added me on FB.

Seems it was only an additional friend boost which mattered as the PMs I sent were never responded to, lol.

- And last but not least, a woman who after a week of sending messages back and forth in order to get to know one another suddenly did a complete 180 personality-wise and accused me of being manipulative despite no manipulation taking place ?

 

So all in all, nothing more than an uohill battle for men.

Constantly running into women who don't know what they want, or should not even BE on such sites.

I mean after having been single for 2,5 years up to this point is it really too much to ask for something to materialise on MY end for a change ?

My friends have gotten into relationships without any effort whatsoever lol.

As others have said, I'm putting myself out there, but sadly not connecting. Oh well, if women even dared to give me a chance as I have done initially they'd have landed a great guy. (According to several LS members. )

Edited June 18, 2014 by Teraskas

[Lona.loba]

Mine wa great and I'm now with him am we will get married

Help with mine ?

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481850-shoul-i-sex

[irc333]

Unrealistic is right.

 

 

You'd be surprised how long I keep seeing the same faces over and over again in my area repeatedly on the site for years. Some of which I had already emailed and sometimes would even send followup emails weeks later in case they "overlooked" my initial one. To see if they would respond.

 

Nothing.

 

Kind of getting sick of seeing their faces as I have exhausted my online options with the locals here.

 

Worked for me. Found a great guy and we're moving in together in just a couple days. The process wasn't easy and there were quite a few disappointments along the way, but it was fun and I met some nice and interesting people too. They just weren't for me.

 

I honestly think its a great deal tougher on the guys because its a lot more work just getting conversation initiated with women online. I'm quite analytical, so I would browse women's profiles just as much as guys and I'd see women with laundry lists of unrealistic standards or negatives that were off putting. Its easy to get an ego as a woman online because of the number of messages we get, but I think that those that let it go to their head are the ones that never really find what they're looking for.

[PegNosePete]

Generally the people who find it frustrating and ineffective are those who just don't "get it". Those with terrible pics and profile who put in virtually zero effort and expect hotties to rain out of the sky.

 

It just doesn't work like that. When used properly it's a very effective tool. Saying "it doesn't work" is like saying a car with no gas doesn't work.

[sillyanswer]

How has online dating gone for you?

 

Works for me. Lots of good dates and some relationships with great people I wouldn't have been able to meet via my social or professional circles. (Plenty of first dates that went nowhere, too.)

[Candy_Pants]

It also worked pretty well for me. No, I didn't meet my H on a dating site, but we did reconnect on Facebook!!

 

When I did OLD I pretty much went on tons of first dates, weeded them out quickly, and if I found someone I clicked with I wasted no time being exclusive. Or,, if it was purely sexual, I wasted no time seeing if the chemistry was real.

 

I made lasting friendships, had terrible first dates, and even found love.