Ernesto Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I Asked my EX why she cheats if she is so happy and in love with her boyfriend, why if she cares so much about him does she do it? I asked her if she cheats because she thinks he's cheating? She said no its not that. I asked her if she found everything in him that she didn't with me, then why is she cheating on him with me, she said because he isn't me? Anyone know what she meant by she cheats because he's not me? We have been seeign each other at least 3 times a month for the last 4 months, I told her that if I was happy and in love with a girl that made me happy and I care about her and she made me happy I wouldn't even look my EX because I wouldn't want to cheat on a good person, she didn't say much about that she just said that she does it because "he isn't me" I don't understand. Also could it be that she's lying and that she's not really happy like she says? And if she's not why not break up with him, why keep cheating? Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Why are you helping your ex cheat? That's the question you also need to ask yourself. It's bad enough she cheats on her bf. It's equally just as bad that you know she has a bf and continue to see her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Obviously she wants her cake and eat it to. If she can get away with it, she is going to keep doing it. Could it be possible she likes sex with you, but nothing else, so that would mean you are just a f uck buddy, while she dates a sweet guy, with money, and stability, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Smackie is most likely right. What ever her motives are they are all selfish. She's just feeding you the "he's not you" to keep you around. It could be she's using you when she is lonely. It could be she's not happy with the sex life of her current relationship. Thus she comes to you when she can't take it anymore. It could be she gets off on the thrill of cheating and it being bad. I know a few people like this. What ever is going on she is using you to fill some void. She's using him to keep her happy/satisfied "most" of the time. Cut her off and move on. Nothing good will come of what is going on. You know she is a cheater. You know she is not honest. You know she is going to do what she wants to do and give no regard to anyones feelings but hers. Trust me this is not a woman you want a relationship. You are right if she truly cared none of this would go on. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Ernesto why do you keep starting the same thread? The answers are still the same. No one is going to tell you she is still in love with you and is confused on what to do. You are a dumb ass fool to think she gives a rat's ass about you. You are being used. Listen to the advice given and stop with this nonsense,.... go no contact! Move on! Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Ernesto she wants a bit of you, and she wants a bit of him.She sounds like a female player. Who else is she sleeping with? Bet there's more.. She doesn't have the word commitment and loyalty in her dictionary. This has NOTHING to do with love. Your ex cant keep her legs closed.End of. You really admire that??? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Remember this: If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. While I don't know her the most likely reason for her doing this is she gets off on the excitement & the thrill of the secrecy. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Why she cheats is none of your concern. Your concern is why you are helping her cheat. You should get out of that situation pronto. Karma is a bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Why she cheats is none of your concern. Your concern is why you are helping her cheat. You should get out of that situation pronto. Karma is a bitch. On the one hand, I agree. Who cares why she's cheating? Maybe you're a stud. Maybe she's just insecure. What difference does it make? There's no such thing as Karma. Bad/stupid decisions simply generally lead to bad/stupid consequences, that's all. And sometimes, you take a bullet for no good reason. For example, this boyfriend of hers might find out and beat the hell out of you. That's not Karma, that's a consequence of your actions. Or, 10 years from now, you might date the girl of your dreams, and she'll start banging her ex like a drum. That's not Karma either. That's just unfortunate coincidence telling you that you're going to get involved with people that do this from time to time. It is not that uncommon. She's perfectly happy with things the way they are. She likes you, clearly, or she wouldn't be banging you. She likes the BF too, or she wouldn't stay with him. She may like another guy too, one that neither of you know about. Clearly, she likes boys and being with them. That's perfectly normal. Your primary concern right now should be Ernesto. If you can enjoy the 3/4 times per month, and it does not affect you emotionally, then have at it. Thank your lucky stars you're not that BF. If it weighs on your heart, either because you feel sorry for the BF, or you feel sorry for Ernesto, then just stop. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 She cheats because she has low character and she's selfish. Is this the kind of woman you want? If she was your gf she would be cheating on you as well. To give you the reason "he's not you" is bs and you should have asked her to explain. The question is why do you see a woman who has a bf. There are plenty of single women in L.A. If your ex was in love with you she would break up with her bf and be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ernesto Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 She told me that she wanted to break up with her boyfriend and be with me, she said she didn't want to hurt him anymore because he didn't deserve it, then a couple days later she told me that she couldn't break up with him and that if she got with me she wouldn't be able to stay faithful to me(no ****) I told her that I had figured that one out on my own, and that I wouldn't want her as a girlfriend anyway because she wasn't girlfriend material or even close to wife material for that fact. She said I was beign a jerk and a ******* about it, I told her that I was just speaking the truth how I saw it, she got mad and said whatever bye and hung up, haven't heard from her in a week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 You were being honest . . . a concept she's not very familiar with. Glad you recognized the situation for what it was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I Asked my EX why she cheats if she is so happy and in love with her boyfriend, why if she cares so much about him does she do it? I asked her if she cheats because she thinks he's cheating? She said no its not that. I asked her if she found everything in him that she didn't with me, then why is she cheating on him with me, she said because he isn't me? Anyone know what she meant by she cheats because he's not me? We have been seeign each other at least 3 times a month for the last 4 months, I told her that if I was happy and in love with a girl that made me happy and I care about her and she made me happy I wouldn't even look my EX because I wouldn't want to cheat on a good person, she didn't say much about that she just said that she does it because "he isn't me" I don't understand. Also could it be that she's lying and that she's not really happy like she says? And if she's not why not break up with him, why keep cheating? I've got a girl I've been seeing who is similar. We were dating intensely for three months, then she moved out of town and got a boyfriend yet still comes over to my place once or twice a month for a bang. She moved in with the guy last month and she's coming over again this weekend. I just chalk it up to the sex. Maybe I'm better in bed than him or maybe it's the memory of the excitement or whatever. We don't go on dates or anything she just comes over and bam bam then leaves in a few hours. Oddly enough she is catholic and so is he so she hasn't told him she's on birth control for irregular periods. So she bangs me bareback and makes him use rubbers. Very odd but hey not my problem. :-P Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 and makes him use rubbers Yeah, sure she does. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I see guys here like the bad girls as much as the women like the bad boys. Link to post Share on other sites
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