treehugger101 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I know I posted about my Boyfriend on here before. But during one of our previous fights he always thought I had a friend of mine or some guy here with me at my house, mind you I live at home, and he and I would talk late around 8-11PM everyday and he would think someone was always here. My parents pointed out that why should my Boyfriend think I have someone here, I don't have any friends, which I don't and I am home 24/7 so I don't even go out. So how could I have anyone here when I don't do anything and why would my Boyfriend need to go so far as to think I was doing something when I am not doing anything? Link to post Share on other sites
BlueBlood Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Have you asked him why he's so stuck on this worry? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 This is the type of concern that can manifest into really manipulative, borderline abusive behavior. It's never healthy when someone wants to basically keep tabs on their partner's whereabouts at all times, especially when nothing has happened (i.e. cheating) to justify such behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I know I posted about my Boyfriend on here before. But during one of our previous fights he always thought I had a friend of mine or some guy here with me at my house, mind you I live at home, and he and I would talk late around 8-11PM everyday and he would think someone was always here. My parents pointed out that why should my Boyfriend think I have someone here, I don't have any friends, which I don't and I am home 24/7 so I don't even go out. So how could I have anyone here when I don't do anything and why would my Boyfriend need to go so far as to think I was doing something when I am not doing anything? Because he's doing something and is using the old "best defense is a good offense" tactic on you. Basically, he's projecting onto you what he's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 You posted about this non-sense back in May and you're still dating this paranoid man !! How can your mother listen to you about this and not tell you to get out of this relationship? How he can think you have someone there with you? Simple, he's is paranoid and has some serious trust and control issue. None of this you can change. It's his problem to solve, not yours. I know you won't break up with him so here's how to handle it. Each time he brings up hearing noises around you or suggest someone is with you just ignore it, change the subject, pretend you did not hear his question and comment. If he gets all worked up about it than shut down skype. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Because he's doing something and is using the old "best defense is a good offense" tactic on you. Basically, he's projecting onto you what he's doing. Good point. One of my exes told me that one of her first serious boyfriends was incredibly paranoid and jealous; going so far as to get physical with her over mundane stuff like attending a party where guys were. Turns out he was cheating on her. So, OP, it's either he's up to something himself or he's got major trust issues, neither of which bode well for your relationship. I haven't read your other threads, but if this is an issue that has been going on for MONTHS, then it's time to pull the plug. You aren't this guy's possession and your continued involvement with him despite his behavior is telling him the opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Things with him and I have gotten better though and he is treating me better. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Things with him and I have gotten better though and he is treating me better. You just started a thread three DAYS ago recounting a weekend with him where he comes off as an insecure, petulant jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Things with him and I have gotten better though and he is treating me better. I wouldn't equate someone considering me to be a liar to be akin to things getting better. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I just read the other thread and it seems that this is yet one more problem in a relationship with two incompatible people. He thinks you're an untrustworthy liar and everyone you know is in on your scheme to hoodwink him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Well him and I are working things out now, and things seem to be going well so far. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 How old are you two? Things are going well so far? It still hasn't even been a week since he was acting like a jerk all weekend, so you guys have had what, a couple good DAYS or something? Sorry, but unless you two are very young (i.e. high school age), I would be really wary of being in a relationship where it's considered a success when you've gotten along for a couple of DAYS. Link to post Share on other sites
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