treehugger101 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 How do you know that your happy in the relationship that your in? Link to post Share on other sites
heather03 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 You just know. I kept trying to make my last relationship work, and it didn't simply because I wasn't happy. I had a feeling that I was settling; when we broke up I started getting into things that I enjoyed before when I was single and started feeling like my true self again, which was sort of shocking. I kept making excuses for him and felt like I was putting in a lot of the effort, and at some point it just wasn't really worth it anymore. At the end of the day its your life, and its too short not to be happy, especially in a relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Yeah I don't know if I am happy in this relationship or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Does the relationship add to your life in general without subtracting significantly in any ways that matter? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Usually if you have to ask. You know your answer. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Does the relationship add to your life in general without subtracting significantly in any ways that matter? What do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 These are the fundamentals for a quality relationship: Does the person you are in a relationship with want to and attempt to meet your needs consistently? Does he support you emotionally? Does he make you feel safe and secure in the relationship? Does he make you feel loved? Does the relationship have space for each partner to do things for themselves that they like and enjoy? Are there things you enjoy doing with your partner? Do you communicate effectively with one another? Do you work together to resolve issues between you or situations you are faced with? Do you trust each other? Can you compromise with each other when there is an impasse? OR Do you attempt to meet his needs while at the same time compromising your own needs? In other words, are you doing more work to support the relationship than he does? Do you accommodate everything he wants and needs but at the expense of your own wants and needs? Do you rely on him for everything? Does he rely on you for everything? Do you keep secrets from one another? Is there abuse? Do you fight often? Is there a lack of trust between you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ThisisIt606 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 For me personally, I know I'm happy in a relationship when I'm generally in a good mood in all other aspects of my life (ie the *stress* of my relationship is not pouring over/affecting other parts of my life) There really shouldn't be any stress in a relationship if you're happy, and if there is- it quickly goes away once you realize you're over analyzing something for no good reason. I'm happy in a relationship if I feel secure, have good communication, and have a health split of time with the guy I'm dating and my outside interests and friends. Also, if we do "relationship building things" as a couple. Going to museums, dinners, movies, events combined with having a satisfying intimate side. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Yeah I don't know if I am happy in this relationship or not. You aren't. If you were, you wouldn't be creating new threads about this relationship every week. Reading your threads, it sounds like you're with an immature, suspicious, paranoid, control freak. Why WOULD you be happy in the relationship? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 when it's not stressing me out. if i'm stressed over the relationship or the person, or if it's taking up too much space in my mind, it's not healthy Link to post Share on other sites
StellaGrace Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 You spontaneously break into song expressing your happy emotions with an accompanying dance like a 1950's musical. Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 We're always laughing together. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 How do you know that your happy in the relationship that your in? How do you know when you have a headache? How do you know when you aren't feeling well? You just do. If you're happy it's not a mystery, you just are. I don't get the question to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Yeah I don't know if I am happy in this relationship or not. Lol if you don't know, you're not happy. I mean how do you know when you're happy in other areas of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Honestly, if you are regularly creating threads about all the problems and issues you have, chances are very very high that you are not happy in your relationship. Sometimes we don't realise we are unhappy as over time things get gradually worse. Are you happier away from him than with him? Is there a reason you think you ARE happy in the relationship?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 when im happy.. im quiet Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 You spontaneously break into song expressing your happy emotions with an accompanying dance like a 1950's musical. lol classic Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 If you have that little niggle in the back of your head that things arent right then its better to have that niggle and make it positive by exploring what you feel is not right and then being honest with the person you are with and working together to fix what can be fixed..... being happy in a relationship to me is being able to trust the person i am with.......i mean trust in every way......to feel comfortable to talk about good and bad to have that complete honesty to not have niggling thoughts about honesty or deceit or secrets from either side....so yep including me...if i have to hold back how i feel or what i think....ill never be happy.... and someone who at the end of a hard day...can make me smile....thats happiness for me...and for me its pretty easy to be happy.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Honestly, if you are regularly creating threads about all the problems and issues you have, chances are very very high that you are not happy in your relationship. Sometimes we don't realise we are unhappy as over time things get gradually worse. Are you happier away from him than with him? Is there a reason you think you ARE happy in the relationship?? I am sorry that the OP struggles so much with all this. She has been hanging on by a thread (no pun intended) with her SO for quite some time. She isn't happy and she knows it. She is "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" . . . (Air Supply song). She wouldn't be any happier if she is away from him because her happiness is tied to him. She isn't happy in her own right. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 That nagging feeling doesn't go away. That's how you know. With me, its much more complicated and my problem is I don't know how to let go. . I love him, I care for him, but I want more from him. I have to face the reality that he will never be able to. I still go see him, he's happy that I'm still speaking to him. It's sooooo ducking hard to let go of your best friend. So yeah we laugh together. Are you going to settle for less and keep ignoring that feeling until five years pass by? I don't have much longer if I want to have children. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 To me, I know when I am happy, I am happy being around that person, they make me smile, happy, with this guy, he DID make me feel this way but now I don't feel happy at all. All he does is complain and stuff and hearing that all the time makes the happiness fade out and die. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 To me, I know when I am happy, I am happy being around that person, they make me smile, happy, with this guy, he DID make me feel this way but now I don't feel happy at all. All he does is complain and stuff and hearing that all the time makes the happiness fade out and die. OK, so he is making you unhappy. You are not happy in the relationship. What are you going to do about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 When you can take a dump in the bathroom and not be ashamed of having your partner smell it…, That is true happiness in a relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 To me, I know when I am happy, I am happy being around that person, they make me smile, happy, with this guy, he DID make me feel this way but now I don't feel happy at all. All he does is complain and stuff and hearing that all the time makes the happiness fade out and die. If you are happy in a relationship and the other person isn't, it's not a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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