treehugger101 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 How many of you have compared your current partner to your ex? Do you do it all the time or only sometimes? Do you think comparing them is good or bad? Do you do it by yourself or among your family/friends or in front of your current partner? Thoughts and comments. Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I wouldn't say you compare old and new. I think if you do that, you're not ready for a relationship. I would say, you look at the qualities that each party has when they come up. If its something bad that your current partner does, it may strike you as something negative about your ex, and stand out as a red flag. We all know what we like...weather we go into a relationship knowing that or learn that through the process of the relationship, we all have an idea of the positives we want in the relationship. Its the negative things that stand out - and if you're saying to yourself...i sure miss it when ex did this, new gf doesn't do that at all... then I think you're not ready. Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Hey treehugger101. Look up the band "Great Big Sea" from Canada. They've got a few good songs about life - including one your thread made me think of called Let it Go... Key line for me is always the beginning "Hey man....don't know what your missing... count your curses and forget about the blessings..." I've been hurt and taken for granted, and while you need to work that out, you (I) need to move forward. Yes I've down the whole talk about exes with my family, friends, etc. I've never found it to be a bad thing...I'm a verbal processor. I believe it's a healthy part of growing - particularly if you want to find happiness and understand yourself and why things didn't work out. Now, I don't tend to compare "old....vs. new" I have made insights thanks to do that and I'm sure you can too, but each person is different. My two major relationships ended up with women who weren't that really into me or value, respect, love me - and they're as different as the sun and moon in most respects-- again save for their view of me... It's a fine exercise that can help you grow, but when dating a new person, that needs to stop quick and you need to see the person for who they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 I don't know how to let him go. And comparing my my ex and to my current guy is hard. I liked how my ex would show up, everyday, going as far as riding the train to come see me, he would drop what he was doing and come see me, he loved the same music as me, loved concerts like me, just a lot of different things. Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 I don't know how to let him go. And comparing my my ex and to my current guy is hard. I liked how my ex would show up, everyday, going as far as riding the train to come see me, he would drop what he was doing and come see me, he loved the same music as me, loved concerts like me, just a lot of different things. I never compare. It's very disrespectful on a very intimate level. However, if I did compare then I am certain my wife would come out above everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 God help me if I compared. My ex fiancée set the bar so high I'm not sure anyone could pass. The only problem ever was that she decided to **** my friend behind my back. Instead of comparing to other people I try to look at the persons positives and negatives. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts