RN2017 Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Trying to figure him out? Hi I have 2 questions. I have been seeing this guy off and on for 3 years....but I known him since I was a teenager we were in a relationship back then...well the other day I ran into some money problems so I asked him could I borrow 100.00 he said yeah....so when i went to pick up the money he took his finger and poked me in the chest (in a nice way) and said next time you don't need to explain yourself.....so I am wondering is that his way of saying he got me....he cares....what??? Also the other day I asked him how does he want me in his life he said he want to see me more regular...he want me to come around more....and do more things together that might help the situation.now does he mean that or is that game....bc I feel it that's what he wants he will text and call me to see me....but another guy told me that he told you what he wanted so he waiting on you......what do you guys think??? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 I think you're not super great at reading signals. This guy is into you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 what does this guy have to do!!! but something does puzzle me. why on/off for 3 years? when your off, who breaks it off? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 I think he meant if you need something, just ask and he's happy to do it. And he would like to see you more. Maybe he just isn't a texter. I know now's not the time since you just were short on money, but as soon as possible, why not invite him over for a nice romantic home cooked meal. I know it seems peculiar, but some guys WANT you to need them and lean on them a little. Makes them feel they have something to offer (not always money though). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RN2017 Posted August 12, 2017 Author Share Posted August 12, 2017 (edited) The other day I was at this guys place of business who I have been seeing of and on...well he seem like he was to busy to talk to me....and he said some things to me the rubber me the wrong way....so I started making conversation with his co worker/friend and we were laughing and having good convo... so then he comes a looks in on us...I guess too see why we were laughing....so anyways I came back out to talk to my guy friend and he seemed a bit jealous bc he took the leaves off the car and through them at me and then balled up his piece of paper and through it at my face.....so to make long story short he tells the co-worker/friend I got a friend in Miami that I can hook him up with..now why is he volunteering my friend maybe I am interested in the co worker/friend.... so my guy is leaving and said I guess you are going to stay and talk to your new best friend....I said I guess so..and I said enjoy your trip....so he gets in the car and the next thing he says is michelle you know I love you....I have never heard him say this before and he says it in front of the guy....and he clearly was working on another women's car.....I am just confused by this whole statement. And if he is seeing someone else then why is he jealous I was just making small talk to thr guy ...plus he pissed me off so .... Edited August 12, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Yeah he's definitely jealous. I wouldn't wanna deal with that if I were you. Ditch your current guy and get with his best friend. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Not necessarily jealous He could be annoyed at you because it looks a lot like you were playing games. I mean, to walk away from him and start flirting with a co-worker? Sounds like you were intending to get a reaction. It was all very high-school. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Immature on your part. Play a petty game , you lose pretty fast. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 I missed the part where you said you talked to his friend because he did something to upset you? If he upsets you, you need to be straight forward and tell him that it upsets you. Sorry but people aren't mind readers. And honestly what did you think you were gonna gain by playing games and making him feel bad? Be an adult and stop it with the games. People don't like to put up with that crap and eventually they won't. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Jealousy is a sign of insecurity not love. Him saying he loves you in that context was manipulative, not sincere. The violence is the bigger problem, He threw things at you! Granted leaves & some paper can't hurt you but what happens the next time when he hurls a wrench at you? Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Jealousy is a sign of insecurity not love. Him saying he loves you in that context was manipulative, not sincere. The violence is the bigger problem, He threw things at you! Granted leaves & some paper can't hurt you but what happens the next time when he hurls a wrench at you? Eh I think it was both. Seems to me that he felt threatened by the other guy and so felt like he had to do that to keep her in the loop, but also so she could realize his true feelings...idk. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 DO NOT mix up jealousy with caring, it is a common mistake. Some people will get very jealous but it is not because they care for you or love you, it is because they just do not want you engaging with, or seeing, or dating, or sleeping with other people, they may not actually care a damn for you or they may even be cheating on you or have moved on themselves onto someone else. They just do not like you giving your attention to someone else, they want all your attention focussed on them. Here he did not appreciate you coming around to his work as he is busy, so he ignored you and said some bad stuff to wind you up and no doubt to get rid of you... When you then diverted your attention to his mate, he got angry and annoyed with you, so threw stuff at you. When you didn't give in, he then used the ILY trick to get you back on board. What he should have done is told you at the start I am really busy here just now and cannot give you my full attention, can you come back in an hour when I have time to talk to you, or can we meet up later for lunch/dinner/drinks etc or I will make it up to you when I get home. YOU would have left and no harm done. My concern for you is that he doesn't appear to be a guy that is treating you that well, throwing stuff at you in anger is not especially mature or nice and is a red flag. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Sweety... you got a little pissed that he would not take some time and talk to you. BTW, you have no idea if he had some kind of deadline that he had to meet. He really may not have been able to talk at that point. It happens all the time in any kind of shop situation. So you go visit with his Coworker to make him jealous and you succeeded and now you are bothered be it. If you are into this guy at all, you may not want to be such an immature kid about this kind of stuff. Most men don't play these high school games very often. Maybe you guys both need to grow up a little... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Sweety... you got a little pissed that he would not take some time and talk to you. BTW, you have no idea if he had some kind of deadline that he had to meet. He really may not have been able to talk at that point. It happens all the time in any kind of shop situation. So you go visit with his Coworker to make him jealous and you succeeded and now you are bothered be it. If you are into this guy at all, you may not want to be such an immature kid about this kind of stuff. Most men don't play these high school games very often. Maybe you guys both need to grow up a little... I chuckled a bit after reading that. Not gonna lie. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RN2017 Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 So this guy u have been seeing of and on for a while....he was going to drop of some money that he owed my friend at my house....so I told him he could drop it off it no problem....(I do love with my boyfriend now but he was not home so he could just drop the money off) so anyways he never called or showed so the next day I see him and ask him was he scared to come by he said no...I said because you could have just dropped the money off....he said no I would want to come in and see you living arrangements ....but why???? Then the previous night when I called him to ask about him stopping the money off he asked ....so you y'all must be in separate rooms ( I guess because I was talking to him late)and he said it's either yes Or no.....but I wouldn't answer the question....Why is he so concerned about our living arrangements .....I mean at one-time we were not really together even though we were still livng together......does this mean he still has feelings for me? Link to post Share on other sites
The Urbanyst Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Are you trying to get back with him? If not, why do you care? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 I didn't understand any of that...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 I'm not sure I understand either... But if I have it correctly, I would say that it's none of his business whether you are sleeping in the same room as your boyfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 So this guy u have been seeing of and on for a while....he was going to drop of some money that he owed my friend at my house....so I told him he could drop it off it no problem....(I do love with my boyfriend now but he was not home so he could just drop the money off) so anyways he never called or showed so the next day I see him and ask him was he scared to come by he said no...I said because you could have just dropped the money off....he said no I would want to come in and see you living arrangements ....but why???? Then the previous night when I called him to ask about him stopping the money off he asked ....so you y'all must be in separate rooms ( I guess because I was talking to him late)and he said it's either yes Or no.....but I wouldn't answer the question....Why is he so concerned about our living arrangements .....I mean at one-time we were not really together even though we were still livng together......does this mean he still has feelings for me? Interesting way of putting this, are you with your bf living together this guy thinks you are still that's why he didn't drop off the money as he was going to do and see you in also. Sounds like you care about this guy still or what? If you don't care so why do you care if he cares about you or how you live now? Go figure that one... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RN2017 Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 Well honestly I do still care for him...and me and my boyfriend are very rocky right now....but I just didn't understand why would he be so concerned about our living arrangements and if we were sleeping in sperate rooms...If he wanted to be with me or sleep with me why would that matter???? I thought maybe he still cared and wanted to get back together but he didn't want to get his feelings caught up or invested again unless he knew the situation...Idk Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 I wouldn't like the sneaky way he's going about prying into what you're doing, personally. I mean, you're broken up and even if he is still interested, he's prepared to judge you based on your living situation and have criticism of you for that. He sounds like a sneaky judgmental controller. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Well honestly I do still care for him...and me and my boyfriend are very rocky right now....but I just didn't understand why would he be so concerned about our living arrangements and if we were sleeping in sperate rooms...If he wanted to be with me or sleep with me why would that matter???? I thought maybe he still cared and wanted to get back together but he didn't want to get his feelings caught up or invested again unless he knew the situation...Idk Well, he is clearly trying to get the lay of the land to see what is happening in your current relationship. Maybe he wants to get back together, maybe he doesn't. The only way to know is to ask him, if you are thinking your relationship is over and you are considering getting back together. Either way, I would be less than impressed with the sneaky, passive aggressive way he is going about this... Was he controlling when you were together? Because his behavior does sound very entitled and controlling? Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 This just all strikes me as creepy. Really creepy. Don't let him into your home, even if you two were close when you dated. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 This just all strikes me as creepy. Really creepy. Don't let him into your home, even if you two were close when you dated. And if you do, definitely not without your boyfriend present. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RN2017 Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 He does have the tendency to be a little controling but he keeps calling him my roommate instead of my boyfriend....he says I would want to come in and give your roomate dap and checkout your living arrangements....I wish he would just ask what he wants to know and say exactly what he wants instead of playing these games...he knows he cannot come in while he is here and see.. Link to post Share on other sites
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