Shikuka Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 A couple of days ago, my girlfriend asked me if it was alright if she could meet up with a friend. I said no and we got in a bit of a fight and she said atleast he was respectful and stuff. The thing was, his "friend" was his one nighter and he was the first one that took her virginity. I felt insecure if they did meet up again. I trust her but not the guy. Yesterday, I went out with my family and she told me she hanged out with him and a group of friends. I was a bit mad but i tried to cool down and try to forget about it. This afternoon, she wanted to talk to me. She was in tears and was blaming herself for everything when she told me that she let his "friend" in the house and she thought that they were just going to talk, watch the tv and he would go home. Well, she was wrong and he actually brought alcohol and got my girlfriend drunk and they had sex. She said she felt terrible and she said no and pushed him back but he push her back more. They had sex and she didn't stop it because she said everything was blurry and she wasn't thinking. What should I do? She really did feel sorry and terrible for that happening but she didn't listen to me when I knew something was up to that guy. Isn't that considered rape? Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 She let her ex-boyfriend who she used to hook up with get her drunk.... What the f did she think was going to happen? In all likelihood she's over exaggerating how much she said no for your benefit. Seems like something she wanted on some level from the beginning. Now it's just up to you to decide if you want a g/f who gets drunk and bangs other dudes occasionally. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shikuka Posted July 15, 2014 Author Share Posted July 15, 2014 She was talking to me and she was crying her eyes out. She told me that she never cheated before and the alcohol got the best of her. and that friend was never a boyfriend. just a one nighter. I ****ing love her but she cheated on me. Now i'm just standing here punching the ****ing wall all night thinking what to do. She seemed really sincere and I know her and I know she wouldn't do anything like that. It's been a year since me and her got together and I dont ****ing know whats gotten into her to let a guy. specially him even come over her house. Link to post Share on other sites
Conners Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Being intoxicated is no excuse for cheating. She put herself in that situation and thinks she can play the victim so you'll forgive her. C'mon what woman with common sense would let a guy hang out with her to ''chat'' yet continue to consume alcohol with him around and allow herself to become apparently vulnerable. Especially a guy she lost her virginity to? Geez Please dump her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 If she was raped or date-raped then she should call the police and report it. If she's unwilling to do that then it speaks volumes about how much she was a willing participant in the events of that night. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 She seemed really sincere and I know her and I know she wouldn't do anything like that. Well... she already did. They had sex and she didn't stop it because she said everything was blurry and she wasn't thinking. What should I do? She really did feel sorry and terrible for that happening but she didn't listen to me when I knew something was up to that guy. Isn't that considered rape? Most likely not (did she actually call it that? I guess not), and she is just downplaying her reponsibility. Alcohol is a terrible excuse. And if it was rape, it is terrible for her. But even if it was, before the actual rape she took dozens of steps betraying your trust and making herself vulnerable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Tell her you will accompany her to the police to report a rape. If he was as pushy as she claims, he completely over-stepped a boundary, and yes, a police report should be filed. I have a feeling this suggestion will be met with a lot of resistance from her. Link to post Share on other sites
firmness Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 If she was raped or date-raped then she should call the police and report it. WOAHHH! Pleas hold on a minute. This is exactly how tens of thousands of innocent men get put in jail every year. Girl gets caught, claims rape to get out of trouble, poor unsuspecting sap gets his life ruined. There was no rape here. Read this again. This was NOT rape. If a man or woman meets someone with whom they have already had sex, spends time talking, THEN goes somewhere to be alone, then gets physically close, THEN has sex... please do not blame one of the participants. She admitted, using your words, that she had sex because things were "blurry and she wasn't thinking" Please, PLEASE do not ruin some poor jerk's like because your woman cheated. Enough with this already. It should be a crime to even suggest such a thing. She will do this again my friend. You are both young and she is exploring. Let her go and move on or suffer the consequences. How many posts do you need to read about women cheating to get it into your head that women cheat. Period. Deal with it and enjoy this time. You will never have this year back. Once it is gone, it is gone forever. Think about all the things you could be doing aside from wasting time stressing over this. Get in the gym and get some more guy friends and go out and find other women. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Alcohol doesn't make someone cheat, the carelessness required was there prior to it. Me and my friends hang out in bars every now and then too, sometimes getting drunk as hell, and those who do have BFs never cheated. She's just trying to damage control you. Blames it all on him to cover her tracks. Well guess what. She's not that dumb, she can make decisions of her own because she has her own free will. She wanted to meet up with this guy, she did, they had sex and now she terribly regrets. She has no boundaries. Might as well cheat again when an ex calls. Just let her go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 She knew what she was doing. It wasn't a big surprise to her when she saw him with alcohol. And yet, she still let him in. She didn't say, "Whoa! Do bring that into MY house, especially with my boyfriend not being here." Sorry dude. She's playing it up and victimizing herself. Time to move on. She can claim that it was a drunken mistake. Well, that's a mistake she'll have to live with because you don't have to. Now, leave the poor walls alone before you break your hand. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 I think you should dump her. I know you should dump her. You should definitely dump her. She betrayed your trust. She can't even act like a mature adult and claim responsibility. She completely lacks accountability and is blaming anything else for her cheating than herself. Completely lack of character. Exile her from your life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 I dont ****ing know whats gotten into her to let a guy. specially him even come over her house. And this is the most crucial point. She cheated while "intoxicated" but she was completely sober when she invited him over, when she saw him bring in alcohol, when they started drinking it. Do you think she would be thinking about "what to do next" if the situation was reversed? HELLZ NO. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Yeah, and what happened to hanging out with him AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS! Sounds like that party was very exclusive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 (edited) She was talking to me and she was crying her eyes out. She told me that she never cheated before and the alcohol got the best of her. and that friend was never a boyfriend. just a one nighter. I ****ing love her but she cheated on me. Now i'm just standing here punching the ****ing wall all night thinking what to do. She seemed really sincere and I know her and I know she wouldn't do anything like that. It's been a year since me and her got together and I dont ****ing know whats gotten into her to let a guy. specially him even come over her house. She is so full of crap her teeth are floating..... You say you know she wouldn't do anything like that? Guess what? She did something like that so it looks like you don't know her at all.... Dump her NOW....or you will be back here in 6 months with another sob story about your drunk GF banging another friend. Edited July 15, 2014 by Space Ritual Spelling as usual 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MuffMan6969 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 You are young. You have a long life ahead and there will be many many more girls. This one sounds like drama and too much work. If you do decide to break up, do it with class. Tell her after all this you will never feel it again and wish her luck. Then never speak to her again. Ever. If people ask you why you broke up, be mature and tell them she wasnt your type after all. Dont go back and forth with texts, emails, calls doing the blameing game. What a waist of energy. Get her out of your life, but be adult about it. Also, I agree with previous poster, you should probably stop punching walls. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 "What should I do?" Dude are you for real??? Dump her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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