NeotericJack Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Is cheating ever OK. Can you imagine any circumstance where cheating would be acceptable? Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Is cheating ever OK. Can you imagine any circumstance where cheating would be acceptable? When you have a gun point to you. Cant think of any other situation 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) It's easy to say that you should never cheat under any circumstance. Ever. However, there are situations that I could understand. Might not be "right", but I understand. Like ... when one spouse withholds sex for years. Or one spouse has been incapacitated in some way for years. In prison. Comatose. Something like that. Might not be right, but I could understand why someone would do it. Edited August 24, 2016 by MidKnightDreams 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Is cheating ever OK. Can you imagine any circumstance where cheating would be acceptable? No. There are plenty of other options that don't involve betraying others or have them forever questioning your integrity. I have done plenty of really bad things to people in my life as a result of being betrayed. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And cheating was not one of them. I do get it though that attitudes have somewhat changed in more recent times that perhaps people don't value the concept of not cheating as the dynamic of temptation has perhaps evolved or devolved to a culture that demands instant gratification. The vehicles are different with the advent of social media as well. That being said, considering how 3 lives instantly changed when I walked in on my fiance screwing my best friend in my bed, I have probably a some what old fashioned and absolutist view on it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
vanhalenfan Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 No. If you've ever been a victim of cheating, you'd understand why my answer is simply: NO. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Nope. Divorce/break up is always an option but cheating never should be. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 It's easy to say that you should never cheat under any circumstance. Ever. However, there are situations that I could understand. Might not be "right", but I understand. Like ... when one spouse withholds sex for years. Or one spouse has been incapacitated in some way for years. In prison. Comatose. Something like that. Might not be right, but I could understand why someone would do it. These are reasons for divorce, not cheating. There is no excuse for not breaking up with someone before starting a relationship with someone else or ****ing someone else. Except the gun to the head one. Then it's allowed. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
l8estnews Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I've never had a relationship because of the reason that I am very scared to be hurt. I don't think I can cope up if I found out that my special someone is having an affair, or will leave me for another. That kind of betrayal will surely lash out on my self-esteem and self-worth so I guess my opinion would be that it's a no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 If cheating is OK, then I guess it is OK to rob a bank if you need money and are broke. There are multiple options like divorce, therapy, and even open marriage, but that takes communication and truth. Most who carry on affairs for various reasons cannot cope with the honesty, most often for fear of the consequences. And most cheating continues when caught because of the lack of consequences, I.e. Playing Mr. Or Mrs. Nice Guy/Gal, and begging for it to stop. Every time you read about a so called affair "fog" on one of these threads, look for what the BS is doing, and in the overwhelming number of cases you will find the "pick me game" is in play. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NeotericJack Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 Suppose both partners know or suspect the marriage is dead. They're staying together for economic reasons, their families, "appearances" or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NeotericJack Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 If cheating is OK, then I guess it is OK to rob a bank if you need money and are broke. Robbery is crime so, on that basis, it's not OK. Cheating is a question of morality and I think quite a few would not find it immoral. There are multiple options like divorce, therapy, and even open marriage, but that takes communication and truth. Most who carry on affairs for various reasons cannot cope with the honesty, most often for fear of the consequences. So it's not so much the assault on the marriage, per se. It's the way the partners approach it that is problematic. If they agree with each other something is wrong, the affair might be acceptable. Is that right? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 So it's not so much the assault on the marriage, per se. It's the way the partners approach it that is problematic. If they agree with each other something is wrong, the affair might be acceptable. Is that right? Cheating is where one partner goes behind the back of the other and starts a "relationship" with someone else. OK for the one doing the cheating perhaps, but the other is lied to and betrayed, how can that ever be seen as "right"? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Suppose both partners know or suspect the marriage is dead. They're staying together for economic reasons, their families, "appearances" or something like that. If both partners know or suspect the marriage is dead, there is no need to cheat - you might as well tell your spouse you're having an affair if a divorce is simply out of the question (cultural or religious or whatever reasons). The deceit part rather than the sex part is the hardest pill to swallow, from what I've been told from people in my life who were cheated on. If you take away the lying part, it's an affair with the consent of your spouse. It's still a bit odd to me, but at least everything is in the open and all parties are fully aware of what's happening. So if your partner is not ok with you cheating, then it's not ok. End of story. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 It's interesting to watch how some cultures freak out over infidelity while other cultures are much more accepting. Yet, we're quick to recommend divorce which is just as reprehensible to some people. If not more so. Amuses me that people think their way of looking at infidelity and divorce is the one absolute right way to view it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) It's interesting to watch how some cultures freak out over infidelity while other cultures are much more accepting. Yet, we're quick to recommend divorce which is just as reprehensible to some people. If not more so. Amuses me that people think their way of looking at infidelity and divorce is the one absolute right way to view it. The cultures that are more accepting of infidelity are also the ones that are more accepting of divorce. Go figure... ETA: some cultures are ok with men cheating and possibly initiating divorce, when women are stoned to death for cheating and simply not allowed to divorce. Here, we have a choice - might as well go with what your partner (the one you have chosen) wants, never mind society or culture. If they consider infidelity as a deal breaker, then don't do it. Edited August 24, 2016 by PrettyEmily77 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 The cultures that are more accepting of infidelity are also the ones that are more accepting of divorce. Go figure... Not America. Divorces are recommended and handed out like candy. Marriages mean nothing here. Cheating? It's the worst thing ever. People feel that it's something done to them personally. Get all bent out of shape over it. Since marriages are so cheap and divorce seems to be the solution to everything, you would think infidelity wouldn't be such a big deal. It shows a conflict between our puritanical roots and modern reality. Our sense of "morals" is random and not really based on anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JoeSmith357-1 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Cheating is never ok Not emotional Not physical never 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunnymae Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 What if one partner is caught cheating so the other partner decides to cheat as a way to get revenge? Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 These are reasons for divorce, not cheating. There is no excuse for not breaking up with someone before starting a relationship with someone else or ****ing someone else. Except the gun to the head one. Then it's allowed. Right on the money except for the gun part. That's not cheating. That's rape. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 OP, what is your motivation for the question? Cheater or the Cheatee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Suppose both partners know or suspect the marriage is dead. They're staying together for economic reasons, their families, "appearances" or something like that. Then this is called an open marriage. Cheating involves lies and deceit and at least one person who is against it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Is cheating ever OK. Depends on the particulars of one's personal moral code. Cheating and lying go on every day in all areas of life. Can you imagine any circumstance where cheating would be acceptable? IDK. Think about the last time you cheated or lied. Did it seem acceptable to you at the time? Why? That's generally the method to apply to relationship cheating and lying. IMO no need nor reason to compartmentalize it away from cheating and lying in general. One gauges the value and appropriateness of their morals and behaviors individually. Is it OK to cheat and lie to someone you don't care about versus someone you do care about? Why? Do circumstances matter? Why? Interesting stuff. Pretty gray if life experience from my 5+ decades on this rock is any indicator. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 It's interesting to watch how some cultures freak out over infidelity while other cultures are much more accepting. Yet, we're quick to recommend divorce which is just as reprehensible to some people. If not more so. Amuses me that people think their way of looking at infidelity and divorce is the one absolute right way to view it. Correct..which is why people come to LS, an international and culturally diverse forum that encourages people to share their differing views on matters such as infidelity and divorce. It amuses me when people forget that and criticize others for utilizing the forum exactly the way it is meant to be used... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Exformer Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Cheating can be satisfying, but satisfaction and being right do not always go hand in hand. In this case, there are many reasons cheating can feel satisfying, but it's never the "right" thing to do. "Cheating" implies breaking your partner's trust. It's better to be honest and up front, and revenge alone is never reason enough to be in the right. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Is cheating ever OK. Can you imagine any circumstance where cheating would be acceptable? No. Next question. ? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts