She broke up with me because of the Distance.

[zack.cole.graves]

Okay. So I met her through an online game but we started dating IRL. Although, we are 8000+ miles away from each other (Yes, we're like literally at either end of the globe) we always had time for each other. I have to say that those months were the happiest days of my life. People tried to discourage us. They said LDRs will never work. We'll both end up heart broken and such. Somehow we managed. We did for a couple of months, at least.

 

Anyways, everything was perfect until three days ago. She told me that she needed the physical part. She wanted somebody who she can touch, hug, etc. It was impossible for us because we're still studying and we're in college. I tried to save our relationship but it seems that she already made up her mind. We're being honest to each other. She broke up with me because she didn't want to cheat on me. Although, she's not dating somebody at the moment. It's just she said she needed somebody who she can be with. I know I can't give that to her right now as we're very far apart.

 

Now, I want to ask for advice. Did I make the right choice when I accepted what she wanted? I think this whole thing is unfair, don't you think? Shouldn't we fight for it, for our relationship? I wanted to and I tried.

 

Please help me. She is the best thing that has happened to me - in my miserable life. And I'm really hurt. I want her. I need her. I love her. I feel like I just lost the biggest part of me. And I think I'm going crazy. I guess I am... crazily in-love with her.

[Zahara]

Did I make the right choice when I accepted what she wanted?

 

Yes, you did the right thing by accepting her decision to end it.

 

I think this whole thing is unfair, don't you think? Shouldn't we fight for it, for our relationship? I wanted to and I tried.

 

Unfair? It's unfortunate and it hurts but relationships are never a guarantee. You can't force someone to feel the same way you do. Yes, you can and should fight for a relationship -- ONLY -- if both parties are willing to do so. You can't fight alone.

 

Please help me. She is the best thing that has happened to me - in my miserable life. And I'm really hurt. I want her. I need her. I love her. I feel like I just lost the biggest part of me. And I think I'm going crazy. I guess I am... crazily in-love with her.

 

For the short time that you invested in her over the phone/gaming -- it's only normal that you've created an image in your mind based on the intensity of a new romance. LDRs are difficult to maintain and you never can really get a sense of realism when you've never met the person. In that sense, you've idealized her to the point where losing her -- someone you've never met, someone you've known for a couple of months -- is causing you such emotional turmoil.

 

If you have a miserable life, then change that. If a woman you've known for a couple of months that you never met is causing such an impact in your life, then maybe you need to start fulfilling your life on your own versus depending on another person to fulfill it for you.

[central]

I've had a few LDRs, one was Boston-Hong Kong. Even though we had physical dates (at that distance, a date was 2 or 3 weeks long), there wasn't a way one of us could relocate in any reasonable timeframe to make it work as an LTR. Throw in immigration and financial issues, and you're got a real hassle and barrier to success.

 

If the distance is driveable (or you can afford flying) at least every other week, then it's possible to make it work. Otherwise, it's difficult and rare to have it work long term. If you can't see a way to live near each other within 12 to 18 months, move on and find someone closer.

[zack.cole.graves]

Thank you for the replies. I guess I did the right thing. I respected her decision. Although, I made her a promise before. I promised her I'm going to love her forever (that's why our theme song is "Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon) and I intend to do that. I will keep my promise.

[Zahara]

Thank you for the replies. I guess I did the right thing. I respected her decision. Although, I made her a promise before. I promised her I'm going to love her forever (that's why our theme song is "Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon) and I intend to do that. I will keep my promise.

 

You should also make yourself a promise to change your life around. If it's as miserable as you say it is, then if you can focus all your love on one person, you must also focus on loving yourself and improving your life.

[zack.cole.graves]

You should also make yourself a promise to change your life around. If it's as miserable as you say it is, then if you can focus all your love on one person, you must also focus on loving yourself and improving your life.

 

Thanks! I will remember that. You've been very helpful.