angie2443 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Wives seemed to judged pretty strongly according to their weight, wrinkles, age, and so on. What I wonder is, how about the husbands? Do the older wives really get turned on by their aging husbands? If, you took away the wealth, fame, wisdom, etc from an old husband, would he be able to compete with the younger more perfect guy? There seems to be a strong double standard here and I'm curious about the reasons for this. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think it often boils down to the size of his willy... lol No, really, I have no answer I'm afraid... maybe because I'm not a woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodamnpragmatic Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Wives seemed to judged pretty strongly according to their weight, wrinkles, age, and so on. What I wonder is, how about the husbands? Do the older wives really get turned on by their aging husbands? If, you took away the wealth, fame, wisdom, etc from an old husband, would he be able to compete with the younger more perfect guy? There seems to be a strong double standard here and I'm curious about the reasons for this. Surprise surprise..... Try and change the story.... Problem is there are no posts to be found where that is the case. Wive's have every right to complain if that is the case and the spouse has done nothing about it. Same if he is lazy, inattentive, unsuccessful and a bad father. Often however there is a tradeoff..... I.e. Highly successful, very busy, thus put on weight (as an example). Nothing like a woman trying to create an issue, where there is none. Yes the answer is, we men as women, grow old. Hopefully we try and remain youthful and take care of ourselves. If not the spouse has every right to comment on it. Again the original post was from a woman with no kids, who had put on an extra 40% in body weight in 4 years..... But let's deflect the issue..... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 How many here are married and over 50? My answer for BBD's of either gender is to go for it and leave me alone Link to post Share on other sites
ann09 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 My belief is that when you truly love your spouse it doesn't really matter. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I tend to watch a lot of HGTV - love those House Hunters shows! And I've noticed that couples tend to resemble each other, especially the older ones. There are people who weigh and measure their food and are fitness fanatics and they end up with someone who does the same. The people who sail and scuba dive are usually with someone who likes to do that, too. The people who prefer urban lifestyles with lots of restaurant dining and no cooking end up with people who enjoy that, and vice versa for the suburbanites. The women who are all about make-up and hair and appearance usually are with a guy who needs just as much room in the bathroom for his toiletries and just as much room in the closet for his clothes and shoes. The people who get winded climbing stairs are often with spouses who are just as out of shape. There are some exceptions for women who have had children, either recently or more than a few - they are often heavier than their husbands, but not always. And there are some people who love to cook, and sometimes they are the fat ones and sometimes they are skinny but their spouses are fat. This is certainly not any kind of scientific study, but there are probably far more older couples who are comfortable with each other's appearances than you'd think based on complaints on Loveshack. Link to post Share on other sites
Blindsidedagainalive Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Woman tend to be more insecure about their appearance. Even quite slim women often think they are fat. Women care more about what a man thinks about them more so than their attraction to a man. One could argue that this was created by marketing men. I don't believe so however....this is not innate...it's biological. Its suppy and demand. Makeup, cosmetics, hair, clothing, shoes would not sell if the target market did not have these insecurities. My WW cheated with a man who was 10 years older, much less attractive, and less of a good man. He was 2X married, deadbeat father, balding...and HAD A CONSIDERABLY SMALLER WILLY. She wasn't cheating with him because she was attracted to him. She cheated because HE WAS ATTRACTED TO HER. He flattered and complimented her. That was all that was needed for her to spread her legs. She didn't look at his appearance and character. That's what low self esteem will do. Link to post Share on other sites
JaneInVegas Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I can honestly say I am very attracted to my boyfriend. I am 48 and he is 55. He is about 50 pounds overweight, doesn't have a lot of hair left, and has the energy level of a senior citizen. And yet I am still attracted to him, I am! I can't speak for other women, but for me it's not really about the physical appearance (although that was the case when I was in my 20's), but about how he treats me. He does have one major character flaw I don't feel like discussing at the moment, but other than that, he treats me VERY, VERY good! He makes my lunch for me every morning. He makes my car payment for me, pays my car insurance, takes me out to eat on a regular basis, and babies the hell out of me when I'm sad, sick, etc. I honestly don't think I could ever find another man who would treat me like a princess like he does, and this is all I need to be attracted to him. Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think physical appearance is important, and I think it is to everyone on a certain level. However, if I am involved with a guy who treats me well, not abusive, or running around on me, who loves me and appreciates me for who I am, that is far more sexier to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angie2443 Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 She wasn't cheating with him because she was attracted to him. She cheated because HE WAS ATTRACTED TO HER. He flattered and complimented her. That was all that was needed for her to spread her legs. She didn't look at his appearance and character. That's what low self esteem will do. This makes a lot of sense and I bet it's true for many women. Link to post Share on other sites
JaneInVegas Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 She wasn't cheating with him because she was attracted to him. She cheated because HE WAS ATTRACTED TO HER. He flattered and complimented her. That was all that was needed for her to spread her legs. She didn't look at his appearance and character. That's what low self esteem will do. While I find this to be rather insightful, I don't 100% agree with it. It's not always about bad self-esteem, lots of times it's an ego thing for women, too. Women's egos need fed just like a man's does, and lots of people go looking for someone to make them feel better about themselves when the one they love doesn't do it for them anymore. This reminds me of the Don Henley song, "When you find somebody to love in this world you better hang on tooth and nail, because the wolf is always at the door." Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 While I find this to be rather insightful, I don't 100% agree with it. It's not always about bad self-esteem, lots of times it's an ego thing for women, too. Women's egos need fed just like a man's does, and lots of people go looking for someone to make them feel better about themselves when the one they love doesn't do it for them anymore. This reminds me of the Don Henley song, "When you find somebody to love in this world you better hang on tooth and nail, because the wolf is always at the door." The need to inflate the ego IS based on low self-esteem. Regardless of gender. Link to post Share on other sites
JaneInVegas Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 You Go Girl, while I agree that sometimes they do interconnect, a lot of times they are totally separate issues. If they were always the same thing, same issue, we probably wouldn't have 2 different words for them. I have known people who were very vain about themselves and needed that ego/vanity fed quite frequently. They are proud and arrogant and expect people to acknowledge how wonderful they are, and if it doesn't happen, they move on to the next person who will. Those with self-esteem issues tend to stick with their current situation and be miserable about it. There are exceptions to everything of course, but this has just been my experience in life. Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 You Go Girl, while I agree that sometimes they do interconnect, a lot of times they are totally separate issues. If they were always the same thing, same issue, we probably wouldn't have 2 different words for them. I have known people who were very vain about themselves and needed that ego/vanity fed quite frequently. They are proud and arrogant and expect people to acknowledge how wonderful they are, and if it doesn't happen, they move on to the next person who will. Those with self-esteem issues tend to stick with their current situation and be miserable about it. There are exceptions to everything of course, but this has just been my experience in life. And I think they are the same thing. People don't need their ego inflated if they are secure in their own skin. Have a good sense of self-worth without validation from others that they are desirable. There's more than one way to fight one's self-esteem issues, just like there's more than one way to skin a cat. Link to post Share on other sites
JaneInVegas Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Well, I believe it is possible for vanity/ego issues to exist without self-esteem issues. We're just going to have to agree to disagree Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think arrogance does come from low self esteem. They delude themselves into believing they are better, hotter, wiser or whatever the case may be. They try real hard to convince themselves of this and go out of their way to make others think the same thing. To me arrogance is just a mask of a deeper issue. this is just my opinion though. Link to post Share on other sites
TinyLee222 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think physical appearance is important, and I think it is to everyone on a certain level. However, if I am involved with a guy who treats me well, not abusive, or running around on me, who loves me and appreciates me for who I am, that is far more sexier to me. I Agree with this and although my husband is about 25lbs. heavier than when I first met him he treats me like a queen, loves me and desires me. I am far more turned on by him then I was by my buff and handsome 1st husband who treated me like crap. Link to post Share on other sites
doushenka Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Call me crazy, but I prefer them slightly broken-in. When it's love, who cares about a few physical imperfections? It's who he is on the inside that counts most. (Yes, I'm aware that I'm a walking cliché.) Link to post Share on other sites
OneTwo Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think it often boils down to the size of his willy... lol:) Best answer so far.... Link to post Share on other sites
SimplyBeingLoved Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Woman tend to be more insecure about their appearance. My WW cheated with a man who was 10 years older, much less attractive, and less of a good man. He was 2X married, deadbeat father, balding...and HAD A CONSIDERABLY SMALLER WILLY. Wow... how did you find that out... PI? or she told you? Link to post Share on other sites
SimplyBeingLoved Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 My hubby is actually pretty good-looking for his age. When I look at him I think he's a nice-looking man. But I am not "attracted" to him. I had a brief online flirtation a while ago... and I saw the picture of the person I was flirting with and he was not attractive by conventional standards. Yet I definitely felt "attracted." (btw for everyone who is poised to jump on me, that online thing is done, over and gone. But it did open my eyes a bit). Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I haven't read the thread.. but I think that both spouses if they age together, they don't mind their sagging skin... they are both in the same boat so to speak... but.. If one become single.. then they ought to get in shape or they will probably end up alone.. I find men are not as fit as women.. in general.. I just can't date men my age.. they look like old 'pépères'.. (old men)... most of them anyway. I am extremely picky.. so that doesn't help.. We, women, die our hair, take care of our appearance.. etc.. Link to post Share on other sites
Blindsidedagainalive Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 How would a PI know that? I suppose you are joking. She told me that of course. She could be lying, but based on what I have, I have reason to believe that it is quite likely true. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 I think physical appearance is important, and I think it is to everyone on a certain level. However, if I am involved with a guy who treats me well, not abusive, or running around on me, who loves me and appreciates me for who I am, that is far more sexier to me. It also works the other way around - the more loving' i get from my gf, the greater the amount of breakfasts, lunches, and etc. general sweetness I prepare . Conversely, the more breakfasts, lunches, and general sweetness I engage in, the less critical she is of my winter belly (which needs to, and will, go anyway though ) Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 I like my men hard. Everywhere Seriously, do men really think that we find saggy skin, saggy bums, balding hair, limper d%cks and wrinkly face attractive? Of course not, but we are willing to overlook that for who the man is on the inside. We are less superficial. Link to post Share on other sites
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