Mrsdickinson Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 I'm a sahm, while he works 6days a week as a carpenter. I have just applied for midwifery course. We have two children a 6 year old and a 3 year old. I'm 23 he's 30. For the past 3 years, he thinks I'm lazy. I clean constantly, making sure it's spotless for when he gets home. I Cook every night, I don't actually think he could. I wash his clothes & the kids, I clean every single day, I stop the kids from killing each other and keep them entertained. I bake for him, and even take cakes to his work for him and his workmates, walking there and back! So today iv cleaned, but not put the kids toys away for when he got home. Causing a massive argument, about me being lazy and siting on my arse all day. Doesn't matter that iv been feeling abit down today I'm sick of it, I'm sick of being treated and spoken to like this. To make it worse, the other day he told me he doesn't think I could be a midwife because "I forget to put a plate in the sink, so how could I be a midwife". What do I do Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 What do I do Ask him to take three days off from his job and do what you do everyday. The best way to empathize is to live in another person's shoes. The only way he will understand is if he tries to maintain the house, the children, and the baking the way you do. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrsdickinson Posted July 31, 2013 Author Share Posted July 31, 2013 Ask him to take three days off from his job and do what you do everyday. The best way to empathize is to live in another person's shoes. The only way he will understand is if he tries to maintain the house, the children, and the baking the way you do. Ha. More chance of hell freezing over. This weekend I'm going to see how long he will cope. Last weekend he spent all weekend upstairs sulking with me! Link to post Share on other sites
smoky eyes Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Actually stop doing everything for a week and let him see how things deteriorate. I would seriously consider leaving someone like that. At the very least I would go through with the course, get a job as a midwife, and split tasks more evenly. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 he is a neat freak, seems so angry over one plate? you need to talk 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrsdickinson Posted July 31, 2013 Author Share Posted July 31, 2013 If I leave it a day, he makes out I don't do anything at all. Like today because it isn't spotless, he seems to forget every other day Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 He is a control freak...just like my husband. He used to say the same types of stuff to me. I began realizing that I didnt deserve it and I decided to no longer take his crap. When he would (still does sometimes) I say "i dont appreciate being talked to that way." and thats all I say. At first he was totally confused because I used to get super defensive and pissed off which just caused things to escalate. If I am too upset where I cant talk nicely I ask for a time out to calm down and would he respect that. I am seeing great results from this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DawnR Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 See.... I sort of worrying about something similar to your post. My husband has never called me lazy... but.... he never really offers to help with the household things either... because it is my job. He works all day, I am a SAHM. I am also a student. I hope that when I get done with school and go to work... we will be willing to share the obligations around the house. But I do not see that happening in reality. BUT... I do know that I can not be a teacher all day and manage ALL THE MEALS, CLEANING, LAUNDRY, EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES FOR THE KIDS, PETS.... etc that I currently handle now. ALSO... Why in the world should the kids toys be put away just because he has arrived at home?! They are still kids whether he is there or not. I would lose it if my hubby even remotely got upset about something like the kids toys being out. Unless it was just an UTTER MESS. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 I don't think your husband is very appreciative of your efforts. It sounds like he could be having an affair or he is no longer attracted to you for some reason. When did things start to go downhill in your marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrsdickinson Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 I don't think your husband is very appreciative of your efforts. It sounds like he could be having an affair or he is no longer attracted to you for some reason. When did things start to go downhill in your marriage? He doesn't get chance for an affair, he goes work & comes home. He never goes out. And I think I'm actually more attractive now then I was when we first dated. Link to post Share on other sites
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