Wife of 31 years had an affair, my story

[VeryBrokenMan]

I suspected something was up with my wife about 6 months ago and about two months ago I became very suspicious. Her phone and bathroom habits changed noticeably. I started snooping and found some texts that confirmed my suspicions.

 

This was not an unhappy marriage and the news blindsided me. I waited a couple of weeks and hired a private investigator to gather more evidence and confronted her. She denied everything. She knew I was suicidal and heart broken but did nothing to break the affair off. The pain of that is the worst.

 

I let it lie for another 3 weeks while I contacted a divorce attorneys and got things in order for the split. I confronted her with the proof and she confessed everything. I used her phone to text the AP that day and told him to never contact her again.

 

A couple of days later I felt so bad for her (go figure) that I told her she could contact him one last time to get closure. The private investigator was able to listen in on that call and it was not good. Said she still loved him, could not give him up, bitched about how unfair it was, basically showed no remorse. Said she did not regret it but regretted getting caught. Needed him now more than ever. Told him she was going to lie to me about the length of the call. And said they would talk another day. Basically could not have been worse.

 

But I'm very torn because since confronting her with the transcript from the call she has been a model citizen. She is doing everything right to help me heal, taking responsibility for the affair, answering all my questions, showing regret and remorse, turning over passwords, un-friending every male on her Facebook. She says the call was just letting him down easy but I call bull**** and think it was her true feelings.

 

I might add that she has a very comfortable life, has never had to work and was treated like a queen. Yes I lost focus on her at times but it was to build both of us a brighter future. But we never fought, always had sex and were always friends. I'm worried that she only wants to stay together for the financial aspects as her AP could never come close to the type life she has now.

 

I could not imagine doing this to her so can anyone give me any insight on cheaters? Do I believe her actions now or what she told him?

[badkarma2013]

I did horrific damage to OM when i outed him to his BW...I threated a lawsuit against the company they worked for...they Both lost their jobs....His BW financially destroyed him in his D.

 

NONE OF THIS MATTERED...when the OM can to my office and showed me pictures of my ExW doing sexual acts she said were Disgusting to her for 22 years and worse.....

 

The images still dance in my head to this day.

 

I REALIZED WHAT SHE HAD BECOME AND HAD DONE...THERE WAS NO COMING BACK.

 

I filed for D after doing the HARD 180 and found out all of the TRUTH i could STOMACH!

 

I have NO Problem with R...I have just not seen MANY SUCESSFUL CASES...

 

Good Luck!! Im sorry but i dont see much hope as clearly loves and deeply cares for the OM...Her conversation was HER TRUTH...Better Listen..

[Decisiontomake]

Your wife did not realize she was being taped during the conversation with the OM so I would make an educated guess that she was expressing her true feelings. That is difficult to hear and I am sorry. There are other ways to "let someone down easy" without professing love for them.

 

 

Her actions now may be calculated due to wanting to keep the lifestyle you have afforded OR they could be true remorse - you may be unable to figure that one out at this stage and the truth of this may only show itself over the coming weeks.

 

 

I am terribly sorry you are in this position.

[Buckeye2]

OP, read your own post. She is being perfect so that everything will be swept under the rug and she can maintain her lifestyle. She basically told the other man that the affair would continue after the dust settled.

 

You can have all of her passwords. All they need to do is get burner phones to mainatin contact with each other.

 

Have her checked for STDs. She will give you fantastic sex for a bit to get you to forgive her. If you take advantage of it be sure to use a condom.

Edited November 13, 2014 by Buckeye2

[whichwayisup]

She's in the midst of the affair fog, going through withdrawal. She may *think* she's in love with the OM but she is addicted to how he made her feel. It was all about her.

 

She has to suffer real consequences before she changes her ways. Sure she can delete men off of her facebook, give you passwords to everything, say the words but until you actually SEE it in action and see it in her face, her eyes that she truly is remorseful for the pain she caused you, how she selfishly ruined the marriage, how can you trust her yet? Time will tell.

 

When most affairs end, contact doesn't just stop. There's always some slip ups, not to continue the affair, not to sneak off and have sex, but more the emotional side of it. Just to get that "fix" Again, the withdrawal, like OM is he drug. She emotionally invested in the OM, meanwhile detaching from you. This will take time for her to get OM out of her system, her head and heart. **It takes a real patient and special spouse to give that cheating spouse a second chance.** Some stick around because they feel their spouse is worth fighting for, the marriage and life built is worth fighting for.. But it takes TWO.

 

Time is on your side. Focus on you, the kids, your family, friends etc., if your wife is willing to put in 100% effort, really prove to you she's worthy of winning back your trust and faith, she will move mountains.

 

DO let her know that if she wants OM, she can pack her bags and GO to him. She cannot have both you and him anymore. Make it clear to her that you will not tolerate any sneaky behaviour, any lying and or omitting truths. Even if the truth hurts you, you'd rather know than not know.

[badkarma2013]

To. Verybrokenman

 

Sir...the more i read your post..the most pissed off i became...

 

This is an Open letter to your WW....

 

some damage cannot be repaired and some lies and acts of betrayal can never be forgotten..... This is not about YOU you had your chance and passed hundreds Of RED FLAGS before the sex took place in your affair...

YOU CHOSE TO DO IT ANYWAY...Did you tell your BH that you were attratched to someone else ..or we have a problem we need to fix this now....NO YOU CHOSE TO HAVE SEX WITH THE OM...THAT IS THE DEFIN ITION A COWARD...Your husband NOW has Plan B for a marriage

 

BY GOD i am no ones Plan B...EVER....

 

My wife did what you did and i NAPALMED everyone ...

 

Again you can make me all the SH%T sandwiches you wish...I will make the choice whether i eat them...I dine at another resturant these days..

[nightmare01]

Very often after a DDay an affair goes underground with plans to resume once everything "blows over". This is when the betrayed spouse starts to get comfortable and starts to trust again. Once that trust is enough to allow enough latitude, the affair resumes. I've heard this process spoken of by wayward spouses as "damage control".

 

I believe this is what your wife is doing, and the conversation you heard are probably her true feelings.

 

I believe the best course of action would be to divorce your wife and set her free to be with the other man. She will either come to her senses and work her ass off to win you back or she won't. If she does the work, you can always remarry her at a later date - that choice is yours.

 

Sorry you are in this situation.

[cif]

I could not imagine doing this to her so can anyone give me any insight on cheaters? Do I believe her actions now or what she told him?

 

Because you're an honorable man.

 

Your wife did a dishonorable thing. She will pine for this other man for YEARS to come. The immediate future will look rosy and she'll be a little puppy to win you back. Then when you're both settled back into life, how do you know this won't happen again? Do you want to spend the rest of your life, the future you've worked so hard to build, agonizing over every little contact she has with people?

 

As a woman I can tell you, thinking of another man touching me absolutely disgusts me. But I am in love with my husband.

[VeryBrokenMan]

I appreciate all the posts, it's been a long month.

 

As a woman I can tell you, thinking of another man touching me absolutely disgusts me. But I am in love with my husband.

 

Wow, that is really telling coming from a woman, thanks. I feel the same way about other women and she knows that, she has even said she knows I'd never do this to her. I'm not a pushover, just hopelessly in love with my wife I guess and I like to think I have character.

 

 

Very often after a DDay an affair goes underground with plans to resume once everything "blows over".

I'm hoping that's not what it is but I guess I need to face facts.

 

DO let her know that if she wants OM, she can pack her bags and GO to him. She cannot have both you and him anymore. Make it clear to her that you will not tolerate any sneaky behaviour, any lying and or omitting truths.

I've said that almost exactly and she says she gets it's. That's the thing, she has done EVERYTHING right since being confronted with the phone call. I just don't know if I can trust what she is saying.

 

Have her checked for STDs.

Did that the first week. She was clean but still waiting on pap smear and HPV results.

 

Your wife did not realize she was being taped during the conversation with the OM so I would make an educated guess that she was expressing her true feelings. That is difficult to hear and I am sorry. There are other ways to "let someone down easy" without professing love for them.

Thank you. Yes, I'm afraid those might be her true feelings. And the fact she did nothing to break it off after the first confrontation when she saw me so distraught. Makes me sick to think about it.

[VeryBrokenMan]

These are some excepts from the call to her lover, she said it was two or three minutes but it was actually 75 minutes.

 

Does this sound like someone that I should forgive and try to reconcile with? (Serious question, my judgement is not great right now)

 

Excerpts:

 

01:15:33

He texted me Monday morning and asked me all these questions, and I was just lying to him, you know.

 

01:18:00

This has been to terrible (crying) this has been terrible.

 

 

01:20:00

And you know this is (pause) it started out like a game to me but it didn’t end up being a game for me.

 

 

01:20:00 There is nothing for you to be sorry about. This is awful (crying)

 

 

01:22:00

I can’t express how terrible this is. Gaaad it’s awful.

 

01:23:00

And I need you now more than ever

 

 

01:23:17 And no matter what I’m always going to miss you

 

01:25:00

I mean I have to be tested for STD’s (incredulous)

There are so many things in this ****ed up situation and of course I have to do everything. You know. I have no say unless I just walk away.

 

01:30:00

He said he understood I was grieving too and I needed to be able to call you and have closure but I don’t know how that can ever be (crying)

 

01:31:00

I’m going to miss you too (crying)

(crying)

01:34:00

You know that and the fact that you were filling a void I have with him and now I don’t have you either.

 

01:35:00

He barely speaks to me and now I can’t be with the man that actually appreciates me.

 

01:36:00

 

He has always been obsessed with me. Always.

 

01:38:00

 

He does not know the kind of man you are. And I’m not sharing all my deepest darkest things about you.

 

01:38:00

 

I miss the man that tells me I’m beautiful. That knows my heart and appreciates it.

 

01:39:00

 

I’m not sorry about (pause) which speaks to part of the problem is.

That I’m not really sorry I did this because you came to mean so much to me.

 

And I'm not sorry we had this relationship, I'm sorry that I got caught

 

 

01:41:00

I’d live in a cardboard box if I could escape all this right now

 

01:45

I want you to know I think you are a really good guy. (crying)

Me too (crying)

 

01:50

Oh yeah, he will. I’ll tell him we just talked for 2 or 3 minutes and I told you bye.

 

 

01:52:00

We need to hang up, I hate to, I don’t want to be without you (crying)

 

 

01:53:00

If you need to get me I’ll be here mornings

 

01:54:00

And I need you to know that I really do love you and it’s really hard for me to let you go.

 

So maybe some other day we can talk.

Edited November 13, 2014 by VeryBrokenMan

[nightmare01]

Every answer you seek in in that conversation.

 

You are at best plan B. A poor substitute for her OM. She loves him and would rather be with him than you.

 

None of what she said was a lie.

 

And it's more than likely - more than probable - it's a near certainty she will take up with him again once she has done damage control and you are back in line.

[jm2013]

First and foremost I want to say sorry for what has happened. I for one would not be able to move on with my wife with this type of information. Clearly she loves this other man. She had a nice setup for how long? This other man was fulfilling the emotional needs she was thirsty for ie - telling her she's beautiful and amazing every day while when you came home you were a good provider. You monetarily provide the lifestyle she needs while he provided the emotional support she craved. You have solid evidence that should clearly set your compass to where it needs to go. To be honest, I don't even know how this could be recoverable. The fact your wife was crying to the other man telling him she loved him and keeping the door open to continue the affair when the dust settles with you is just appalling and I think would be extremely difficult to get over.

 

You have stuff I wish I could have accessed with my wife's affair. I would have loved to know her true feelings. More than likely my wife too said things similar to what your wife said. I just didn't have access to it and have to go by her word only. I of course know and see how trusting her words can be now of course. Is there a way you can tell your wife to leave the house for a little while? Perhaps she can stay with some family in the area? I would let that dust settle a little bit and kind of analyze what she does. In the mean time I think you really need to take care of yourself. You're in an extremely dark place right now but there is light at the end of the tunnel. This is not an end all. In the end I think you have heard and seen enough stuff to make an informative decision but that's just my 2 cents on it. Good luck to you and again, I'm sorry you're going through this.

[VeryBrokenMan]

You have stuff I wish I could have accessed with my wife's affair. I would have loved to know her true feelings. Good luck to you and again, I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

Thanks for your reply. I almost wish I did not have this information. I have a lot more texts, etc where she told him she loved him, missed him, etc. It's sickening.

[Decisiontomake]

I'm going to play this from a woman's viewpoint - one who has had an affair - and just give you my own take on some of these specifics:

 

01:15:33

He texted me Monday morning and asked me all these questions, and I was just lying to him, you know. Any WS that is caught lies - and would certainly tell their AP that they had done so regardless - as a way to look like they were protecting them.

 

01:18:00

This has been to terrible (crying) this has been terrible. It HAS been terrible - this gives no inference to what she's referring to.

 

 

01:20:00

And you know this is (pause) it started out like a game to me but it didn’t end up being a game for me. Could just be saying this to the AP, or could be genuine feeling - most affairs start as one thing and one or the other becomes invested in some way - could be totally affair fog though - not actually what she's feeling for this OM.

 

 

01:20:00 There is nothing for you to be sorry about. This is awful (crying). This is just throw away.

 

 

01:22:00

I can’t express how terrible this is. Gaaad it’s awful. As above - it IS terrible.

 

01:23:00

And I need you now more than ever. Hmm, Ok this is her expressing a present need for the AP - but then she could want to appear a damsel in distress to him and that is what facilitated that comment.

 

 

01:23:17 And no matter what I’m always going to miss you. I will always miss my AP to a certain degree I'm sure - but there is a difference between missing and longing for IMHO.

 

01:25:00

I mean I have to be tested for STD’s (incredulous)

There are so many things in this ****ed up situation and of course I have to do everything. You know. I have no say unless I just walk away. This could be her fishing to see if the AP steps up and tells her to walk away - welcomes her with open arms etc.

 

01:30:00

He said he understood I was grieving too and I needed to be able to call you and have closure but I don’t know how that can ever be (crying). I cried more than once to my AP when we were going through the cycle of whether we were finishing or not - women are emotional - this is what happens when we are in those situations. Imagining closure and then being able to live it can be different too. I thought it would be harder than it was -it was hard - absolutely, and continues to be as is fresh for me - but it was as hard as imagined. Therefore this expression is based on her emotion at that time - the thought of closure - not how she's actually going to feel if she carries that closure through.

 

01:34:00

You know that and the fact that you were filling a void I have with him and now I don’t have you either. All affairs are filling a void in someway - this is just her verbalizing that.

 

01:35:00

He barely speaks to me and now I can’t be with the man that actually appreciates me. Is this the void she's talking of? Not feeling appreciated enough - I'm not saying you DON'T appreciate her, but is her need for being shown that different to what yours is?

 

 

01:38:00

 

I miss the man that tells me I’m beautiful. That knows my heart and appreciates it. Is she referring to you? As in that's how you used to make her feel - or to the AP? Not sure but of course it's likely her AP showered those things on her - we are all guilty in long term marriages of not demonstrating these things or verbalizing them enough.

 

01:39:00

 

I’m not sorry about (pause) which speaks to part of the problem is.

That I’m not really sorry I did this because you came to mean so much to me.

 

And I'm not sorry we had this relationship, I'm sorry that I got caught.

 

 

I'm totally not trying to be flippant as this section is harsh to read, certainly BUT if I had been talking to my AP and thought I was doing so freely, then I might have said something along the same lines. APs comfort each other and ultimately aid their respective justifications for being in an affair in the first place - this smacks of that.

 

 

01:41:00

I’d live in a cardboard box if I could escape all this right now. That's just talk, clearly!

 

01:52:00

We need to hang up, I hate to, I don’t want to be without you (crying)

 

01:53:00

If you need to get me I’ll be here mornings

 

01:54:00

And I need you to know that I really do love you and it’s really hard for me to let you go.

 

So maybe some other day we can talk

 

 

Each time I tried to end it with my AP, I would leave the door slightly ajar like this - I think it's a rather classic cycle that affairs find themselves in. However, my husband did not find out about my affair and therefore I'm not sure I would have left the door open in that circumstance. I would have left, or I would have stopped the affair. She's hedging her bets here.

 

I can't speak to your wife's frame of mind, feelings towards this person, or intentions BUT I do know that there are so many layers of emotions involved in a situation like this that the things she said to her AP here could mean multiple different things. Were they honest - yes probably - but honest in her communication with HIM - she may have had an entirely different conversation when speaking with a girlfriend about the affair for example.

 

I'm not sure I'm making sense here, but am trying to give just an outside perspective because I know how your compass will be all over the place right now. And yes, I did have an affair so you may not wish for me to be giving you input at this time BUT I have also been a BS so I know it from both sides of the coin.

[CarrieT]

I have a lot more texts, etc where she told him she loved him, missed him, etc.

It is Affair Fog.

 

Read up on The 180 and implement immediately.

[Decisiontomake]

It is Affair Fog.

 

Read up on The 180 and implement immediately.

 

I get the 180 ethos - I do - BUT if my husband had done that when I left our marital home six months ago, I would have divorced by now. We have not at this time, and although slight, there is s still a chance we may try to rekindle our marriage. I don't like drastic action one way or the other - I think it self protects yes, but sometimes making such stark boundaries when something like this is moving constantly emotionally, is I feel detrimental on some level.

[whichwayisup]

These are some excepts from the call to her lover, she said it was two or three minutes but it was actually 75 minutes.

 

Does this sound like someone that I should forgive and try to reconcile with? (Serious question, my judgement is not great right now)

 

Excerpts:

 

01:15:33

He texted me Monday morning and asked me all these questions, and I was just lying to him, you know.

 

01:18:00

This has been to terrible (crying) this has been terrible.

 

 

01:20:00

And you know this is (pause) it started out like a game to me but it didn’t end up being a game for me.

 

 

01:20:00 There is nothing for you to be sorry about. This is awful (crying)

 

 

01:22:00

I can’t express how terrible this is. Gaaad it’s awful.

 

01:23:00

And I need you now more than ever

 

 

01:23:17 And no matter what I’m always going to miss you

 

01:25:00

I mean I have to be tested for STD’s (incredulous)

There are so many things in this ****ed up situation and of course I have to do everything. You know. I have no say unless I just walk away.

 

01:30:00

He said he understood I was grieving too and I needed to be able to call you and have closure but I don’t know how that can ever be (crying)

 

01:31:00

I’m going to miss you too (crying)

(crying)

01:34:00

You know that and the fact that you were filling a void I have with him and now I don’t have you either.

 

01:35:00

He barely speaks to me and now I can’t be with the man that actually appreciates me.

 

01:36:00

 

He has always been obsessed with me. Always.

 

01:38:00

 

He does not know the kind of man you are. And I’m not sharing all my deepest darkest things about you.

 

01:38:00

 

I miss the man that tells me I’m beautiful. That knows my heart and appreciates it.

 

01:39:00

 

I’m not sorry about (pause) which speaks to part of the problem is.

That I’m not really sorry I did this because you came to mean so much to me.

 

And I'm not sorry we had this relationship, I'm sorry that I got caught

 

 

01:41:00

I’d live in a cardboard box if I could escape all this right now

 

01:45

I want you to know I think you are a really good guy. (crying)

Me too (crying)

 

01:50

Oh yeah, he will. I’ll tell him we just talked for 2 or 3 minutes and I told you bye.

 

 

01:52:00

We need to hang up, I hate to, I don’t want to be without you (crying)

 

 

01:53:00

If you need to get me I’ll be here mornings

 

01:54:00

And I need you to know that I really do love you and it’s really hard for me to let you go.

 

So maybe some other day we can talk.

 

Sitting here shocked and feeling so bad for the pain you're feeling. Your heart, ouch.

 

I see that she is going to do whatever, then when the dust settles she's going to contact him again, it's only a matter of time.

 

She lied to you, omitted to you what she told him, lied about the amount of time she spoke to him.

 

Your wife is a mess, she's confused and no where near ready to actual come clean about EVERYTHING, if she was, she'd now tell you that the call was much much longer than she originally told it was.

[whichwayisup]

It is Affair Fog.

 

Read up on The 180 and implement immediately.

 

Agreed.

 

Facts here. She doesn't know this OM and this OM doesn't know her. Together they've created a little fantasy fun world, both feel good all the time, they never fight, never disagree, they thrive to be happy and carefree, future faking, expelling emotions to one another, that "if wishes were horses, we'd ride off into the sunset together..." The what if's ... ALL based in an affair setting. The rewriting history, greatly exaggerating her version of the truth to suit her in the best possible light for her AP - The love felt is again, ALL based IN an affair setting, not "real life". She isn't thinking about anything but herself. I doubt if she's even that concerned about the pain his (ex) AP is in now as it's ALL about HER.

 

OM only knows what she's told him. OM probably has hopes, sadly, she's probably given him that hope to wait it out. She may never have any intention of leaving you, she wants to stay married. If she had it her way, she'd have both. Screw that! Life doesn't work that way.

 

Reality is setting in, really time will tell once that bubble of hers is popped and she suffers consequences, if that so called 'love' she feels for him disappears real quickly. Either way, it's unhealthy and selfish/self serving.

[Friskyone4u]

You should consider yourself one lucky man in that you had the resources and sense to hire the PI and have the knowledge of her true feelings. And you are showing signs of doing exactly what she wants you to do. What you have not done or not stated that you have done is

(1) contact the spouse or partner of OM if there is one. Do not tell her you are doing this.

(2) see your attorney and file for divorce. You can stop it at any time but she needs to know and BELEIVE that if she screws up or lies again she may be living in a cardboard box.

(3) tell her she can expect an unannounced polygraph appointment at any time. Her reaction to that will be simple. If she is truthful and doing all the right things she will say lets go do it. If what you have from the PI is the truth, what you will hear is no way she will do that. That will be your answer, and the first question should be has she had any contact with OM since she spoke to him on that recorded call

(4) you should place anVAR in her car and anGPS on it. If she is in contact with him it will occur in her car when she thinks she is away from you

(5) and for heavens sake no out of town trips without you for any reason.

Now, you can do none of all of this or you can HOPE she is done with him. If you take the easy way out and hope you are playing Russian roulette with very high stakes, namely your soul and your mental well being.

I hope you do not take the Mr Nice Guy approach and get yourself more devastated than you are now

[Buckeye2]

You know that and the fact that you were filling a void I have with him and now I don’t have you either.

 

He barely speaks to me and now I can’t be with the man that actually appreciates me.

 

 

I miss the man that tells me I’m beautiful. That knows my heart and appreciates it.

 

And I'm not sorry we had this relationship, I'm sorry that I got caught

 

 

I’d live in a cardboard box if I could escape all this right now.

 

Then why in the world doesn't she go live with the OM?

[April Moon]

Don't ever be anyone's plan b.

[BrokenPrincess]

Sounds like standard DDay A fog. I know it probably strikes a chord with the BS on here as being extreme but I'll bet many WS had versions of this same convo after ending their As just luckily most BS aren't privacy to hearing the whole thing.

 

I'm sorry ((hugs))

[Furious]

These are some excepts from the call to her lover, she said it was two or three minutes but it was actually 75 minutes.

 

Does this sound like someone that I should forgive and try to reconcile with? (Serious question, my judgement is not great right now)

 

Excerpts:

 

01:15:33

He texted me Monday morning and asked me all these questions, and I was just lying to him, you know.

 

01:18:00

This has been to terrible (crying) this has been terrible.

 

 

01:20:00

And you know this is (pause) it started out like a game to me but it didn’t end up being a game for me.

 

 

01:20:00 There is nothing for you to be sorry about. This is awful (crying)

 

 

01:22:00

I can’t express how terrible this is. Gaaad it’s awful.

 

01:23:00

And I need you now more than ever

 

 

01:23:17 And no matter what I’m always going to miss you

 

01:25:00

I mean I have to be tested for STD’s (incredulous)

There are so many things in this ****ed up situation and of course I have to do everything. You know. I have no say unless I just walk away.

 

01:30:00

He said he understood I was grieving too and I needed to be able to call you and have closure but I don’t know how that can ever be (crying)

 

01:31:00

I’m going to miss you too (crying)

(crying)

01:34:00

You know that and the fact that you were filling a void I have with him and now I don’t have you either.

 

01:35:00

He barely speaks to me and now I can’t be with the man that actually appreciates me.

 

01:36:00

 

He has always been obsessed with me. Always.

 

01:38:00

 

He does not know the kind of man you are. And I’m not sharing all my deepest darkest things about you.

 

01:38:00

 

I miss the man that tells me I’m beautiful. That knows my heart and appreciates it.

 

01:39:00

 

I’m not sorry about (pause) which speaks to part of the problem is.

That I’m not really sorry I did this because you came to mean so much to me.

 

And I'm not sorry we had this relationship, I'm sorry that I got caught

 

 

01:41:00

I’d live in a cardboard box if I could escape all this right now

 

01:45

I want you to know I think you are a really good guy. (crying)

Me too (crying)

 

01:50

Oh yeah, he will. I’ll tell him we just talked for 2 or 3 minutes and I told you bye.

 

 

01:52:00

We need to hang up, I hate to, I don’t want to be without you (crying)

 

 

01:53:00

If you need to get me I’ll be here mornings

 

01:54:00

And I need you to know that I really do love you and it’s really hard for me to let you go.

 

So maybe some other day we can talk.

 

 

 

Well, here was her chance to give live in a cardboard box, but it's obvious OM didn't even offer her that. She was fishing for him to rush over and rescue her and it's apparent he's not putting up a fight, sounds like he's very accepting that it's over. It sounds like a one sided conversation, she has a victim persona going on and it doesn't sound like OM is donning his tin foil armour and racing over in his white donkey to sweep her away.

 

I'd pack her bags and get her an extra large cardboard box to go with it.

 

The high drama and cliche goodbyes sounds like a dime store novel.

[FusionCutter]

Wow. What are the transcripts for what the OM was saying? Is this even legal to get a transcript of a phone call?

[lovinDKT3]

Sounds like standard DDay A fog. I know it probably strikes a chord with the BS on here as being extreme but I'll bet many WS had versions of this same convo after ending their As just luckily most BS aren't privacy to hearing the whole thing.

 

I'm sorry ((hugs))

 

This is true. I ended my affair for the most part without a dday. Many of the things said, I also said in some form. Most of which I didn't really mean or believe.

 

VeryBrokenMan, in a matter of weeks or months these comment may also make your wife feel sick. At that moment she was in a haze, like a teenager who's parents made her break up with the town bad boy (line stolen from DKT). I don't think you should either buy or sell those comments as 100% truth or 100% B.S.

 

She may mean some, some could simply be talk. The one thing I know I did during my A was fished for the OM to validate my poor decisions and re-enforce the bad behaviour. Sounds to me there was a lot of that going on.