his wife write me a mail during the NC.

[sisa]

I was with a MM two years and last December he told his wife we are together. His wife let him choose, and he chose her.

 

after that, we try NC but too painful so after one week we decide to do LC. his wife don't know we still contact, but it doesn't matter because after all these I realized he is not going to marry me and he have not only one OW. so I keep LC is just for my sake to let me can detach him step by step because it hard to accept I lose him so soon after two years investment, I do love him.

 

last month we start truly NC, no phone, no mail, so whatsapp. it's really hard but I already make my mind to stick on it and don't want to break it because I cannot live the life like this anymore, crying and devastated. sometime I even have end life thinking because stay in this situation.

 

however, today she wrote me, saying they are going to devorce because of me. and some bad words and cursing words. should I told her we are no longer contact anymore or I neglect her mail is better? I don't want save their marriage because I don't like her.

[ConfusedMarriedOW]

huh...

 

I can see how hearing that they are getting a divorce my feel good to you, but the part that stands out rather clearly is that he had ANOTHER other woman. yep, that part is hard to ignore.

 

I say stay out of it and still say no contact. Or if you really want to sever ties with her and him, you can say "I haven't talked to him a long time, good luck with your marriage, see ya"

[purplesorrow]

I was with a MM two years and last December he told his wife we are together. His wife let him choose, and he chose her.

 

after that, we try NC but too painful so after one week we decide to do LC. his wife don't know we still contact, but it doesn't matter because after all these I realized he is not going to marry me and he have not only one OW. so I keep LC is just for my sake to let me can detach him step by step because it hard to accept I lose him so soon after two years investment, I do love him.

 

last month we start truly NC, no phone, no mail, so whatsapp. it's really hard but I already make my mind to stick on it and don't want to break it because I cannot live the life like this anymore, crying and devastated. sometime I even have end life thinking because stay in this situation.

 

however, today she wrote me, saying they are going to devorce because of me. and some bad words and cursing words. should I told her we are no longer contact anymore or I neglect her mail is better? I don't want save their marriage because I don't like her.

 

Gently, there is nothing that you can do to save their marriage. They are the only two in it. There is no response you can give her at this point that will help anyone. Continue nc and move forward with your life.

[sisa]

I think I can save their marriage by telling her we are no longer contact and he choose her and want to work out their marriage which she want to hear from my mouth.

 

I think she want to get some information from my side.

[purplesorrow]

I think I can save their marriage by telling her we are no longer contact and he choose her and want to work out their marriage which she want to hear from my mouth.

 

I think she want to get some information from my side.

 

If those words mean nothing when her husband says them to her, why do you think they will sound different coming from you? Why would she have any reason to trust what you say? You said you don't even like her. She probably knows this.

[purplesorrow]

I think I can save their marriage by telling her we are no longer contact and he choose her and want to work out their marriage which she want to hear from my mouth.

 

I think she want to get some information from my side.

 

If those words mean nothing when her husband says them to her, why do you think they will sound different coming from you? Why would she have any reason to trust what you say? You said you don't even like her. She probably knows this.

[stillafool]

I think the wife is confusing you with his other OW. He is probably seeing her and the wife thinks it is you. He is still cheating on his wife just not with you.

[PachucaSunrise]

I was with a MM two years and last December he told his wife we are together. His wife let him choose, and he chose her.

 

after that, we try NC but too painful so after one week we decide to do LC. his wife don't know we still contact, but it doesn't matter because after all these I realized he is not going to marry me and he have not only one OW. so I keep LC is just for my sake to let me can detach him step by step because it hard to accept I lose him so soon after two years investment, I do love him.

 

But do you think it matters to his W? And NOT ONLY one OW?! Oh boy. Do you think it matters to her as well? I realize you invested two years of your life on him, but is it worth the competition? I'm sure his W also invested time with him, ALONG with this OOW. This isn't fair to any of you.

 

last month we start truly NC, no phone, no mail, so whatsapp. it's really hard but I already make my mind to stick on it and don't want to break it because I cannot live the life like this anymore, crying and devastated. sometime I even have end life thinking because stay in this situation.

 

however, today she wrote me, saying they are going to devorce because of me. and some bad words and cursing words. should I told her we are no longer contact anymore or I neglect her mail is better? I don't want save their marriage because I don't like her.

 

I've been in your boat, and it sucks. Royally. But you will not be doing yourself any favors by breaking NC. You said he chose her (even though they may be following through with a D)... So, the fact that he has not reached out to you should tell you something. I apologize if I sound harsh, but I was in this EXACT situation. We 'fell into' NC, and I've been sticking with it. AND, he has chosen NOT to contact me, EVEN THOUGH he is in fact going through with a D - brutal, but that tells me exactly where I always stood.

 

I hope you have the strength to continue on with NC. In your situation, it really is the only way to go. As far as his W? You may not like her, but put yourself in her shoes for just a minute... Reverse the situation. If you were her, would you want to know? Their M may not be salvageable, as there is an OOW, but maybe you can give her the piece of mind that she's certainly not getting from him?? I wouldn't say to reply back to her if she didn't reach out to you, but she did. Just something to think about...

 

As far as he's concerned... He doesn't deserve any of you!

[d0nnivain]

sisa

 

 

Just stay out of it.

 

 

They aren't divorcing because of the current status of your relationship with HER husband. They are divorcing because of his past actions. If he wasn't fooling around with you, he would have been cheating on her with someone else.

 

 

Do yourself a favor & go find a guy who is available to commit to you.

[smitten4ever]

Don't write the wife, no just ignore. I did not answer any of MM's W emails.

 

 

 

I was with a MM two years and last December he told his wife we are together. His wife let him choose, and he chose her.

 

after that, we try NC but too painful so after one week we decide to do LC. his wife don't know we still contact, but it doesn't matter because after all these I realized he is not going to marry me and he have not only one OW. so I keep LC is just for my sake to let me can detach him step by step because it hard to accept I lose him so soon after two years investment, I do love him.

 

last month we start truly NC, no phone, no mail, so whatsapp. it's really hard but I already make my mind to stick on it and don't want to break it because I cannot live the life like this anymore, crying and devastated. sometime I even have end life thinking because stay in this situation.

 

however, today she wrote me, saying they are going to devorce because of me. and some bad words and cursing words. should I told her we are no longer contact anymore or I neglect her mail is better? I don't want save their marriage because I don't like her.

[wind willow]

I think I can save their marriage by telling her we are no longer contact and he choose her and want to work out their marriage which she want to hear from my mouth.

 

I think she want to get some information from my side.

 

Did she ask you that? In your original post, you didn't mention her asking you anything.

 

If she asked whether you're still seeing her husband, I don't see any harm telling her honestly that you've had no contact with her husband.

 

If she didn't ask, but just told you they're divorcing because of you, ignore it.

 

And don't get your hopes up. My xMM's wife said they were getting divorced 6 months ago before I even got involved with him. Still hasn't happened.

 

Multiple OW = not a man you want.

[SoleMate]

NC only works when it's total, and that applies to both xMM and the xBS. So I recommend blocking and ignoring her. Just count your blessings that you are detaching from their f*****d up marriage.

 

Some BS may respond that she would like the truth. perhaps, and the only way I'd ever offer it to her is if she requested it politely.

[April Moon]

Haha! I took the email like she was letting you know her husband is up for grabs if you want him... After reading the other posts, that may not be the case.

[cif]

I'm late on this but I would write back and tell her she probably has you confused with another OW and to never contact you again. And as others suggested continue NC.

[sisa]

don't plan to write back because there is no reason to doing so.

 

In fact, I do wish he is with any other woman now, I think I will detach faster to think he is doing that.

 

no matter what he did, I still think it's real and special love, poor me.

[A.Moscote]

don't plan to write back because there is no reason to doing so.

There are reasons (the other OW, the LC period for example) to write back to her, to help her realizes the whole situation, but as SoleMate mentioned, both of you need to be able to be polite. Perhaps that is for another time then. At the moment, I think it's better to ignore her and just focus on yourself first because you are not yet invulnerable to the possible consequences.

 

no matter what he did, I still think it's real and special love, poor me.

Yes, it might have been a really special and true love. If it won't hold back your progress, than it's not wrong to cherish the good memories that you've had, hopefully that will make you feel better. However please don't say what he did doesn't matter. He's deceiving and manipulating his wife, he is unjust and inflicting hurts on women. I don't know for you, but to me, considering all that, his love was just cheap and not really special.

 

Please keep on the NC, and continue to read and to seek advice on how to get yourself out of this trouble. Take your time properly and be patient because you are struggling against a very formidable force here; your heart. It's was mistake that you let go of a single guy to deliberately involve yourself with a married person. Hopefully you'll always remind yourself of this experience and be wiser not to be swayed again by feelings and emotions.

Good luck, you will be able to love again eventually.

[Tayla]

Remain NC.

gather your emotions. Accept that you played a part in this marital fiasco. The actions of each adult need to be clarified and brought to terms.

 

Save your energy for better circumstances.