ktya Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Ok. I met this cute girl, was my first date after breaking up with my ex. Amazing date, sex first date, saw her every other day for a few months until she moved. I was multi dating, so was she. She asked me about the other girl i was seeing after telling me she was going to break it off with me because shes seeing this nice guy where shes moving to. I told her i broke it off because the girl was not stable. She told me how jealous she was of the other girl, came and stayed at my house for a few days before she moved. Started using the L word on me that weekend. See her 2-3 times a month when she comes back to see family. Crazy sex almost every time. We were playing risky (pull out) and her period was late. Dr said she was fine not prego put her on BC pills. Apparently the other poor sod was using rubbers so she knew if she was it would be mine. I wouldnt care if she got knocked up, im crazy about her. But i met her multi dating so no jealousy with other guy. Guy still using rubbers, but now she comes to me for full service. He doesnt know about the pills or me. I talk to her almost every day. She will even text me when hes right there with her watching a movie or cooking for her. She called me twice yesterday, once today. But heres the rub. Shes been fighting with the guy, seems he might be up to the same hanky panky she is. He refuses to see her family which is a big deal for them, works for me because she couldnt come over to my place if he was around. Hes younger than she is by 4 years, so im guessing he is keeping options open because younger girls probably approach him. I told her, you can dump this guy, because you know id go all the way to the altar with you, you hate the town you moved to have no friends there no family just a job and this boyfriend. I asked her to name the one thing she absolutely loves about this guy... She couldnt answer the question. Then went on to sah that im more thoughtful, nicer, and sweeter. But shes moving in with him in a month or two. Our "thing" shows no sign of letting up, shes coming back thursday. I dont get it. I am not all distraught over it, while id put a ring on her finger i am also just fine with how things are, even if she broke it off with him shed probably multi date me and other guys over there until she could move back and ive got enough other girls on the go. I just dont understand the mentality. Obviously she cant love this guy, if she cant name one thing she loves about him and shes been banging me the whole time. Hes not rich or anything, she works with him and he has the same job as her. I doubt its his looks or she would have lost interest in me. Plus hes younger and theyre fighting. I dont really give a damn about him, ill keep sexing her for as long as shes down for it. Figured maybe people in this forum could help me make sense of it. She still tells me she loves me. Even told me a while back she loved me more than him. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 It makes perfect sense. She's broken. You can't fix her. If you are fine having fun with her, then do that, but don't expect (or more importantly try) for anything more because it will burn you in the long run. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 ktya, I don't think you asked so I probably shouldn't say, but.......think hard about continuing this R with this woman. Imo, you stand a good chance of being hurt by her and you may be in deeper than you realize. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ktya Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 I dont have any issues with fixing her. Other than the rather confusing triangle of relationship shes set up she has her sh.t together just amazing. Works 16 hrs a day sometimes two weeks in a row. Great with money. Doesnt like to talk bad about people, wouldnt even let me vent about my ex when a major situation occurred and shd came over to help me calm down. Never brings drama to me, always pays for half the bill on dates and doesnt want expensive gifts. (i was seeing her for three months before the boyfriend was in the picture). As for maybe being in deeper than i realize, that might be correct. I dont feel any jealousy about the boyfriend, and i didnt when she was dating other people here. What i find confusing is why move in with a guy when your texting this other dude daily and balling him 2-3 times a month. Youd think shed just keep her options open. Like she texts me when hes right there lol. Its not an open relationship thats for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ktya Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Oh if its of any use first date with her was at the beginning of january. She moved for work april, so ive been seeing her for almost six months now. Boyfriend became a boyfriend to my knowledge late may, she first met him at school in late november when she graduated from her program. He lived over there and didnt really come visit her, she was banging me every other day so im pretty sure about that Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Ok. I met this cute girl, was my first date after breaking up with my ex. Amazing date, sex first date, saw her every other day for a few months until she moved. I was multi dating, so was she. She asked me about the other girl i was seeing after telling me she was going to break it off with me because shes seeing this nice guy where shes moving to. I told her i broke it off because the girl was not stable. She told me how jealous she was of the other girl, came and stayed at my house for a few days before she moved. Started using the L word on me that weekend. See her 2-3 times a month when she comes back to see family. Crazy sex almost every time. We were playing risky (pull out) and her period was late. Dr said she was fine not prego put her on BC pills. Apparently the other poor sod was using rubbers so she knew if she was it would be mine. I wouldnt care if she got knocked up, im crazy about her. But i met her multi dating so no jealousy with other guy. Guy still using rubbers, but now she comes to me for full service. He doesnt know about the pills or me. I talk to her almost every day. She will even text me when hes right there with her watching a movie or cooking for her. She called me twice yesterday, once today. But heres the rub. Shes been fighting with the guy, seems he might be up to the same hanky panky she is. He refuses to see her family which is a big deal for them, works for me because she couldnt come over to my place if he was around. Hes younger than she is by 4 years, so im guessing he is keeping options open because younger girls probably approach him. I told her, you can dump this guy, because you know id go all the way to the altar with you, you hate the town you moved to have no friends there no family just a job and this boyfriend. I asked her to name the one thing she absolutely loves about this guy... She couldnt answer the question. Then went on to sah that im more thoughtful, nicer, and sweeter. But shes moving in with him in a month or two. Our "thing" shows no sign of letting up, shes coming back thursday. I dont get it. I am not all distraught over it, while id put a ring on her finger i am also just fine with how things are, even if she broke it off with him shed probably multi date me and other guys over there until she could move back and ive got enough other girls on the go. I just dont understand the mentality. Obviously she cant love this guy, if she cant name one thing she loves about him and shes been banging me the whole time. Hes not rich or anything, she works with him and he has the same job as her. I doubt its his looks or she would have lost interest in me. Plus hes younger and theyre fighting. I dont really give a damn about him, ill keep sexing her for as long as shes down for it. Figured maybe people in this forum could help me make sense of it. She still tells me she loves me. Even told me a while back she loved me more than him. You're having unprotected sex with a girl like this? I don't think he's a poor sod for using rubbers...good luck with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ktya Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) You're having unprotected sex with a girl like this? I don't think he's a poor sod for using rubbers...good luck with that. I dont really want to get i to that side of things, but she was quite militant about protection until i got my own test results back. She works in health care and has to get tested every 3 months. Edited June 23, 2014 by ktya She Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I dont really want to get i to that side of things, but she was quite militant about protection until i got my own test results back. She works in health care and has to get tested every 3 months. Well, I truly didn't mean bad, just be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
gia37 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I have been holding a guy friend's hand through his child custody battle he lost and it was and is horrible... this girl sounds completely unstable and wounded, if you will have a child with her I can bet you will NEVER see the child and you will be heartbroken for ever. Link to post Share on other sites
fellini Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) "The truth is that real love requires real inner work that most people just aren’t interested in." Um, did it occur to you that you have it backwards, as long as you are up for sexing her, she doesn't have to wake up and make a real decision? If, and this seems to be the case here, you and she have hit a plateau in terms of your relationship, that there is little more you can offer her other than a lifetime together, that you are at a turning point. It seems to me if she is going to move in with him, you are going to have to end your relationship with her, or just be her toy. So now would be a good time to stop, and let her figure out which is her path. She could still chose him, but either way, you find out. Edited June 23, 2014 by fellini Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Its a selfish mindset not that hard to understand at all common from people who cheat and sleep around. After all whats good for the goose is good for the gander like some one else said good thing hes using rubbers.. Link to post Share on other sites
trailrunner1975 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 She's broken and not fixable, at least not by you. Her moving in with the other guy is simple. He is higher up the ladder than you for some reason or another. (Google ladder theory) As for her being on the pill, she can stop taking it and you will not know until it is too late. Happened to my best bud in high school. No they did not stay together though he did wind up fighting a nasty custody battle. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts