She asked for space and I gave it to her

Thanks for your response guys.... I appreciate all the advice.. Like Sumdude said take the lead.... Well I am the one that is writing up the agreement.. I got a copy of a friends and will be using it as a guide.... Luckily we paid off most of the bills that were in our names together and I made sure that I put into the agreement that all bills specifically in each spouses name were their sole responsibility... As for trusting her I dont thats why I wrote it up and will go with her to submit it to the courts....

If we cant get this worked out between us this time then i will get a lawyer involved but to this point I think its been pretty fair deal that I have offered her and she has almost accepted.... As for discussion of the past i sat there and listened didnt offer any comebacks or nothing... just listened to her BS.... Its half over guys and I am starting ro feel so much better... I have been shopping around for forclosures once i get her to refinance the house....... Life is getting good !!!!

Good to hear, Rich. You make me smile man. Hopefully, you can reach a point where you are completely indifferent to the STBXW. Keep moving forward with your happiness!

You also need to heed SRV's advice. The next time she gets in your face with the "I'm going to tell you something about you that you don't know" crap or bemoans any financial support she needs you should stop that in it's tracks by reminding her that she's got a new man to bitch at and the man in front her doesn't want, have, or need to hear it anymore because she kicked you to the curb. From here on out, if she's got an opinion of you that she's just got to share, give her a quarter and tell her to call somebody who cares!!!

That said, tis wise to keep your venom to a minimum until you've completely broken free.

From here on out, if she's got an opinion of you that she's just got to share, give her a quarter and tell her to call somebody who cares!!!

 

That said, tis wise to keep your venom to a minimum until you've completely broken free.

LOL.... thanks PP.. its funny I used that exact qoute but I believe I said 50 cents.....You guys are right I do need to cut out the conversations we have about the past.. Like you said the past is the past and she has anothers ear to listen to her BS... Thanks TIY. you have been a big influence and I appreciate the support Friend... this train wreck is half over today... 6 more months and I will be a free man no longer having to deal with her BS anymore... I have gotten in contact with an old girlfriend of mine who is dying to see me and get together........Its nice feeling wanted again something that towards the end I never felt in my marriage...... I hope to oneday be at the point of indifference TIY but at this point there is only anger and hurt I feel towards her... She has messed up my daughters lives and for what.. fleeting happiness....

She ended up paying her taxes... its funny though she has no idea that I had already used the mortgage interest and property taxes on mine... I am waiting for the day that she gets audited....... Life will be good that day........

Thanks again everyone.....

I hate to tell you my friend, but she will always be in your life one way or another because of the kids......

Even Monday night I was talking to one of the facilitators at DC class and she has been divorced for 2 years & all of a sudden her ex has been emailing her for no reason except to say; oh I miss you, etc.etc!!!!

It has taken you a while, but you are still slowly moving away from her & that is great to hear...It is not easy & even when we know the person isn't good for us it is still hard.

Still have you in my prayers my friend...

Well PP we were actually talking about the agreement... And yes i did want to buy her out but after looking closer at my finances I would be house poor if I bought it.... This way I give her the house and she leaves my 401k alone... She has agreed to all of that so far and as N9 pointed out I may well be responsible to pay her health care..... And I am not falling for all her Skinman is the source of her pain crap..... I found it funny that each time we talk I did something else to make her unhappy and the story is ever changing...... Thats what I was trying to say above how its always different.......

 

Yes she has tried to guilt me into keeping her on the insurance... I have fallen for it in the past but until I can get this agreemnt signed I will leave her on it to keep her happy..... She even tried to justify her screwing this guy by saying that she was married to her ex. when we got together... Which is true but at the time I didn't know all the facts....... I know you guys have told me many times to not let her get to me but there are times that she can piss me off to no end....... She is definetely a manipulative B##ch.........

Skin, much like you my ex was able to "guilt me" into helping her out after she left the home for her "security apt". This went on for a few months in declining frequency. As I caught her in lies, I withdrew the financial support she "conned" me out of. She also engaged our adult children in helping her scam money from me. To this day I don't know if they understood their involvement. It's not something we have talked of, and at this point we never will. She had a good income, and the help of her lover. She just "jobbed" me for the fun of it.

It finally ended when her auto developed a chronic problem which she was determined to have taken care of on her own. Day one I told her that a $70.00 part needed replacement, she spent $2500.00 with various mechanics before her lover bought the part and had it installed. During that time she was often stranded, sometimes in the snow. She would call me and my little 4x4 Bronco II to pick her up, help her out. Finally, while very frusterated she began yelling at me when I picked her up and began transferring groceries to my Bronco. Her frusteration wasn't brought on by anything I did, it was a cumulation of things I suppose. It didn't matter to me. I ended up telling her that I wasn't going to continue dropping what I was doing and driving accross town to rescue her, only to be verbally insulted and abused. I made it clear that I would not be available in the future.

That was hard for me... saying "no" to her. But after a couple of times she stopped calling. Believe me that was a relief, and a confidence builder for me. She only "got me" one more time after that. And that was unavoidable. I would have had to be completely heartless to refuse her that last time. That was the last though... it's been 7 years without another request.

I want to take this time to thank everyone who has posted on my thread...You all have offered encouragement and advice but I have come to the end of my rope... All of you have offfered me hope for a better future but it hasnt come.... I have tried to remain strong during this but my emoions have taken over....... I no longer care to carry the burdon that has been thrust upon me....

I spoke with the stbxw .. or should i say widowed wife today she pretty mush confirmend all that i have suspected.... She has someone else who is in her life... she has replaced me in my childrens eyes....

Thank you all....... Gunny... Lakesidedream and N9... PWSx3 .. you all may thinik what I am going to do is selfish but I am tired of hurting .... my STBWW... i guess I cant call her the ex anymore because she wont be the ex..... she wil be the widowed wife...... I appreciate all the concern and advice...

PelicanPreacher keep up the good work say a prayer for my soul friend...

Thank you all for the help you have offered..... God Bless my soul Lord.....

Don't you DARE think of doing what I think you're saying! I cannot commit a prayer for those who would take on the divinity of GOD for you are not GOD!

Whoa

I read that post in e-mail but it just now struck me. WTF....dude, reconsider this.

If you do this you doom your child to grow up as selfish, stupid, and heartless as your stbx. Think of your daughter for she needs you, loves you, and is secure in the knowledge that you will always be there for her. Forget about all the material things you'll lose or the marriage you lost. You put your daughter on this earth for a purpose and your job is to protect her from harm till the end of your days.

oh... guys I am so broken... i feel so alone that nothing I have done has helped I dont care anymore...I have been so depressed that even medication hasn't helped... I am tired of the pain ..i am tired of the sleepless nights I am exhausted and dont know where to turn,, I pray every night for the strength. but I have none... Its more than I can take at this moment... What the hell she might as well have it all she has taken my spirit .. my desire and eberything esle I have.... WTF...She even has my daughters thinkng the divorce was the best thing......

Marriage is really complicated, but as a woman it really is difficult to cut the cord to someone you've been married to no matter what is said. Most times things are said in the heat of the moment and can become ugly, I know because I say things and most of the time regret it. I haven't read the rest of your posts but I hope what I've said helps you out somehow.

skinman, maybe your daughters do think the divorce was for the best. But they DO NOT want to loose their dad. I know what suicide does to a child. Your daughters will not see your actions as anything other than the fact that you abandoned them and did not love them enough to stay alive for them. You may think that you life has been ruined but what your suggesting could ruin your daughters lives. Do you want them to feel the same pain you are feeling right now, because this will hurt them more that you know.

Don't do anything stupid...hang in there for just one more day

oh... guys I am so broken... i feel so alone that nothing I have done has helped I dont care anymore...I have been so depressed that even medication hasn't helped... I am tired of the pain ..i am tired of the sleepless nights I am exhausted and dont know where to turn,, I pray every night for the strength. but I have none... Its more than I can take at this moment... What the hell she might as well have it all she has taken my spirit .. my desire and eberything esle I have.... WTF...She even has my daughters thinkng the divorce was the best thing......

I've read your posts, and I now understand what you are going through. You see, I've been there, nothing anyone can say would make the pain go away. I've never taken any meds for what I've felt but it did certainly felt worse than death. The feeling that you are feeling is beyond death and once you've suffered it, nothing else can compare. BUT you will get over that feeling because I certainly did. I found the next love of my life, twice, and you will too. What I had experienced from my ex was the worst ever, but I am now remarried and happy. We do have our problems and issues but my past has made me stronger. You sound like a good person and i hope that I am not too late to add to the support that you've had. Pick your head up, there are too many fishes in the sea to give up.

If you do this you doom your child to grow up as selfish, stupid, and heartless as your stbx. Think of your daughter for she needs you, loves you, and is secure in the knowledge that you will always be there for her. Forget about all the material things you'll lose or the marriage you lost. You put your daughter on this earth for a purpose and your job is to protect her from harm till the end of your days.

Thanks PP... but to be honest i feel like a failure in regards to her..The stbxw has her thinking that the marriage and divorce was the best thing for her.... I am tried PP.. tired of the hurt and the pain that this has all caused... She has replaced me and I am sure my daugher will feel the same way one day... its a sad reality that I have been replaced in my stbxw life and my daughters......

Thank you Lisa671 and all the rest........I am not afraid to die.. I have seen depression eat some some of my best friends and family only to have them take thier lives anyway... When the stbxw talked with me tonight she expressed her worries for me... She was almost compassionate....

I dont know if she was feeling the guilt because her father committed suicide or what but she was concerned...She even told me how she had tried over the past few years to get me to see tha there were issues with us......I dont kow anymore or care anymore...... I will leave my daughter much better off than if I stay... She wont have a dad... but she will have a nuch better financial future......

I am not looking for sympathy becauese you all have given me plenty........ I wanted to show my appreciation........ Thats all...

I know there are folks out there who wish they had only my problems to deal with and I would wish them the same.......But I am done.... I gave my wife 16 years.... and yet it wasnt enough......

Thank you Lisa671 and all the rest........I am not afraid to die.. I have seen depression eat some some of my best friends and family only to have them take thier lives anyway... When the stbxw talked with me tonight she expressed her worries for me... She was almost compassionate....

 

I dont know if she was feeling the guilt because her father committed suicide or what but she was concerned...She even told me how she had tried over the past few years to get me to see tha there were issues with us......I dont kow anymore or care anymore...... I will leave my daughter much better off than if I stay... She wont have a dad... but she will have a nuch better financial future......

 

I am not looking for sympathy becauese you all have given me plenty........ I wanted to show my appreciation........ Thats all...

 

I know there are folks out there who wish they had only my problems to deal with and I would wish them the same.......But I am done.... I gave my wife 16 years.... and yet it wasnt enough......

Someone needs to do an IP trace on this guy, I know this is a VBulletin forum and as someone who has a VBulletin website himself....you can IP trace these posts. This guy is openly taliking about suicide, someone needs to call in some help for him.

Someone needs to do an IP trace on this guy, I know this is a VBulletin forum and as someone who has a VBulletin website himself....you can IP trace these posts. This guy is openly taliking about suicide, someone needs to call in some help for him.

Thanks Toddro....

What does it matter friend... I am done whether or not someone calls me.... I have struggled with depression most of my life... Dont make things more difficult than they have to be.. I will not do anything this weekend but beyond that no guarantees.... I dont want sympathy at all....... I wanted to show some appreciation to those who have tried to help...Thats all.. I wanted to let the people who have offered help thanks....... Thats all dude so let it go ... please....There are a few on here who know ow to contact me... please accept my thanks and let it go...... It is what it is..........

I have lived a fulfilled life and I am looking forward to whatever lies before me....

Thanks Toddro....

 

What does it matter friend... I am done whether or not someone calls me.... I have struggled with depression most of my life... Dont make things more difficult than they have to be.. I will not do anything this weekend but beyond that no guarantees.... I dont want sympathy at all....... I wanted to show some appreciation to those who have tried to help...Thats all.. I wanted to let the people who have offered help thanks....... Thats all dude so let it go ... please....There are a few on here who know ow to contact me... please accept my thanks and let it go...... It is what it is..........

 

I have lived a fulfilled life and I am looking forward to whatever lies before me....

You can reach for the hand of GOD or reach for the hand of the Satan. GOD has granted us all free will and what you do with yours is your own decision. Right now you need to breath. I'm guessing from your post that you have ingested something for your spelling and coherence is breaking down. Do me a favor and contact 911. Do not sprial or go willingly into that good night by your own hand for that is not within GOD's plans. Believe it or not, there are some people out here in far far far worse shape than you (namely myself financially) so see another day, another, another and another infinitum. Your life has a bigger purpose than you've envisioned so do not thwart GOD"s plan by taking his divinity of life and death unto your own hands.

PP... I am so tired friend.. tired of the thoughts that haunt me during the day.. during the little sleep that i get.. I am exhausted friend..I cant fight the demons that plague me and my thoughts.. Yes I have been drinking but that is normal these days... I appear to have aged 10 years in the past 6 months.. I pray that the lord will take me from my suffering PP.. I have no desire.. no drive or ambition these days... I dont care about much PP... My daughter yes.. I love her to death but I have replaced a father so whats the difference of someone replacing me....

I didn't plan on responding to any of these replies.. but i thank you all..

In a sense i feel wanted or cared about.......... granted the ones that matter the most don t care..........

god darnit skinman,you're alot stronger than this,plesae pull yourself together.don't you dare let your children become fatherless,i grew up fatherless as he died when i was 9 yrs. old. the things that i missed,him showing me how to work on thing, the fishing and hunting trips we never had(and yes girls love them just as much)the beers we could of drank,just shooting the ****.my dad was vert hand on dad,same as you are. your children need you.PLEASE,PLEASE TURN YOURSELF IN TO THE LOCAL HOSPITAL,i know you have weapons in the house,please call a friend and have them removed.we have all grown to love,and respect you. god bless you skinman.

PP... I am so tired friend.. tired of the thoughts that haunt me during the day.. during the little sleep that i get.. I am exhausted friend..I cant fight the demons that plague me and my thoughts.. Yes I have been drinking but that is normal these days... I appear to have aged 10 years in the past 6 months.. I pray that the lord will take me from my suffering PP.. I have no desire.. no drive or ambition these days... I dont care about much PP... My daughter yes.. I love her to death but I have replaced a father so whats the difference of someone replacing me....

 

I didn't plan on responding to any of these replies.. but i thank you all..

In a sense i feel wanted or cared about.......... granted the ones that matter the most don t care..........

The difference lies in the choice. You can choose to keep the gift of life GOD gave you or you can accept the gift that Satan offers you...death!

Okay, ENOUGH, skinman! You're not going to quit. Why would you end your life for a loser? For crying out loud, man, you have much to live for. You've got beautiful daughters and a whole new, exciting life to embark on. All you have to do is to get past this and you will. We all survived our divorces and many now live better lives.

Do you have any idea how much fun it is to be single? It's an absolute blast! No one to nag you. You can actually ask women out. You're even allowed to oggle AND touch.

Because you have strayed your mindset into a zone of "I don't care" you have entered into the territory of intention to do harm. GOD sees that and will never condone that. Your stbx is lost there so don't find yourself in that wilderness lest expect the pain of damnation should you wander too far!

god darnit skinman,you're alot stronger than this,plesae pull yourself together.don't you dare let your children become fatherless,i grew up fatherless as he died when i was 9 yrs. old. the things that i missed,him showing me how to work on thing, the fishing and hunting trips we never had(and yes girls love them just as much)the beers we could of drank,just shooting the ****.my dad was vert hand on dad,same as you are. your children need you.PLEASE,PLEASE TURN YOURSELF IN TO THE LOCAL HOSPITAL,i know you have weapons in the house,please call a friend and have them removed.we have all grown to love,and respect you. god bless you skinman.

Thank You Mark982,,,

Its pretty sad when total strangers care about you more than the people you love do.... I have had a bad night and my thoughts have been all over the place.... I have had many bad nights lately and they seem to get worse with each passing day... I Medicate myslef with painkillers to sleep

but they dont help... I workout yet it offers no relief.. I dont have the strength anymore folks.. I struggle to keep sober each day and I even fail at that......

I am sorry about your father....

How did you know i have guns ??? I dont think I have ever mentioned them...